It Continues...
It Continues...
Canterlot Castle was in complete disarray and the source of the madness wasn't the usual suspect. Discord wasn't amused with the freelance anarchist wrecking his home turf. He decided to keep it real and find the culprit to teach him some manners. He investigated the scenes and noticed each crime committed had one thing in common; scared maids and castle guards.
He wondered what kind of foul creature could do so much damage and not be in Celestia's radar. He then stumbled upon the latest active crime scene and found the source of the chaos. "What do we have here?" he whispered to himself in surprise.
Discord saw that Celestia was wearing a wedding dress while yelling at ponies for not having it completed sooner. She seemed upset about the measurements being off by a bit. He was baffled since he wasn't aware that Celestia was going to get married and wanted to know which pony had won her heart.
"Hey, Sun Butt, I see you’re trying to squeeze into that dress but what's the occasion?"
"Discord! I don't have time for your silly games or any nonsense, I need to get ready and retrieve my bride to be."
Discord at this point had to know who exactly has Celestia this wound up. "So which unfo-lucky mare is going to be with you in wedded matrimony?"
Celestia looked over and grinned at Discord. "Rainbow Dash!" she proclaimed with utter joy.
____________________________________________________________
Rainbow Dash felt extremely tired and was pouring a copious amount of sweat. She had been performing for the increasing number of Dash fans that have poured in from all over Ponyville. She never had this amount of support and was looking forward to how much attention she would receive when she becomes a Wonderbolt. "I know you all came here for a show, but like all good things it must end. I will be stopping now because I need a nice bath and some rest."
A chorus of disappointed ponies had harmonized into one loud "Awwwww," before they all continued staring at Rainbow Dash in silence. Rainbow Dash looked around and could see a giant crowd of mares below. She wondered if the entirety of Ponyville was watching her. "So...Yeah...I'm going to be going now, see ya!"
She tried rushing off but was stopped by a familiar face. "Fluttershy?!" She gasped in surprise as her usually timid friend had been bold enough to block her escape.
Fluttershy giggled, "Silly Dashie, you don't have to bathe alone...Why don't you come to my house and we can have a nice bath together."
Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow at Fluttershy and was going to ask if she was feeling alright until Twilight got in her personal space.
"Hey Rainbow, you know I have books on preparing the perfect bath, maybe you should let me try out what I learned from reading it."
"Umm, maybe some other time, I kinda do my bathing...Alone."
Fluttershy was pissed with Twilight trying to D block her like that. "Twilight, books don't help with relaxing baths but a bath buddy does. I used to take baths with Rainbow Dash when we were fillies, so just leave this to me."
Twilight huffed and narrowed her eyes, "Well maybe Rainbow Dash has outgrown you and needs a new bath buddy?"
Rainbow Dash couldn't take the fighting and decided to make a judgement call. "How about you both join me for a bath as long as you two stop acting so weird...It's just a bath, for Celestia's sake!"
What Rainbow Dash didn't see when she was flying off to her house, with Fluttershy and Twilight in tow, was the look of murder the other ponies were giving the two winged hussies trying to hog their Dash. They were each now planning their own way to lure Rainbow Dash to spend time with them.
____________________________________________________________
Discord was almost going to change the proverbial channel but he couldn't stop watching Celestia throw a tantrum over the dress she swore was for an actual wedding. He couldn't for the life of him figure out why she was acting so out of line over Rainbow Dash. It was high time he decided to make good use of this madness for his own sake. "Hey, Celestia, you do know that Fluttershy kind of has dibs on Rainbow Dash right?"
Celestia was in the middle of flipping a table when she heard something that made her rage go from mild to explosive. "Discord! What makes you think that some skittish animal hugging hippie could ever be any closer to the love of my life than I am?"
Discord had finally seen the edge of insanity and he smirked wickedly. "Oh I don't know; it's just what Fluttershy told me. She and I are pen pals you know."
Celestia's normally gentle eyes were now on fire. "I assure you, Discord, that Rainbow Dash and I are meant to be together. All of Equestria will know this when I retrieve her. We are going to have a spectacular wedding and then our wedding night will be filled with passionate moans and my tongue-"
Discord covered his ears but his eyes were still open. He cringed as Celestia moved her hooves to pantomime what looked to be something extremely sexual. He couldn't make out what she was mouthing but it wasn't anything he was interested in finding out. Discord suspected that things were going to get interesting very soon and wanted to see how things play out firsthand.
____________________________________________________________
Rainbow Dash had underestimated how big her tub was and paid the price for it. She was sandwiched in between two very clingy mares that were being liberal with their cleansing activities. She didn't stop it because it almost felt like she was a princess being catered to by spa ponies. "Yeah, that's the spot Fluttershy!"
Rainbow Dash had noticed that as soon as she praised a friend, the other would work even harder for her affection. Rainbow Dash hadn't the slightest clue when cleaning a friend became competitive. "Ooh, Twilight, don't stop!"
Fluttershy mumbled something and splashed Twilight with water using her wings.
Twilight splashed her back and glared.
Rainbow Dash had been thoroughly cleaned and wanted the water battle to end so she got out of the tub. "Alright bath time over time to get some rest. If you two don't mind, you can see yourselves out."
Fluttershy and Twilight looked at Rainbow Dash with sad puppy dog eyes. They even went as far to shake their bottom lip to increase the effect it would have.
Rainbow Dash almost died of cuteness overload and had to hold a hoof to her chest to keep still her rapidly beating heart. Once she recovered from the shock of seeing something so cute, she had given up on kicking them out. "Alright, you two can stay while I nap but be quiet...I really need to doze off for a bit."
Twilight and Fluttershy grinned while rubbing their hooves together in secrecy.
____________________________________________________________
After all the yelling and tossing of various objects, Princess Celestia looked stellar. "Discord, I know being good isn't your strong suit so just try not to kill or maim any innocent ponies while I go get my wife to be."
Discord changed his tone to a pleading one and put an innocent facade on. "Actually if you don't mind I would love to accompany you on your trip. I want to see my favorite princess finally getting the mare of her delu-dreams."
Celestia was cautious with allowing Discord to attend important events and this event was the second most important. "On one condition; you must leave a note for Luna in case she wakes up and seeks me out."
Discord grinned like the cat that ate the canary, "Alright I shall drum up one note. Luna will be at ease if she wakes since I will explain in detail what is going on. Now let's hurry along as your destiny awaits."
Discord watched as Celestia got giddy and when she wasn't in view he almost died of laughter. "I wish I knew who was behind all this. I would invite them to hang out any day of the week."
Discord wrote a note to Luna that read:
Dear Moon Butt,
Your deranged sister and I went to kidnap Rainbow Dash.
Yours Truly Dis Anonymous
He rushed to Luna's room and placed the note on her forehead with adhesive magic so she wouldn't miss it when she wakes up. He noticed how peaceful Luna looked in her sleep and cringed. "Peace is so overrated..."
____________________________________________________________
Spike had been busy trying to solve this mystery and come up with a plan to free the mares of whatever is driving them to Rainbow Dash. He had gathered all the jilted and abandoned stallions to meet up with him in Golden Oaks Library. When all the lonely stallions arrived he got himself ready to engage his audience.
"My fellow stallions-"
"You're not a stallion," an angry pony had called out.
Spike growled a bit, "Look I’m just as mad as the rest of you, we need to calm down and figure out a plan to deal with this problem."
Mr.Cake sadly chimed in, "I will do anything to get my wife back. it happened randomly; my wife just said she had to go 'taste the rainbow' and left the bakery. I don't know what's going on but I can't lose my wife."
All the stallions were murmuring in agreement. They each had been suffering the loss of a mare in their life and they each felt a bit better that it didn't only happen to them.
Spike coughed into his hand and continued speaking. "See, my mare had been taken from me t-"
"You never had a mare," that same heckling pony from earlier stated.
Spike's voice got really deep and he let loose,"You interrupt me one more time and I'll roast your ass!”
The stallion kept quiet and Spike was able to proceed.
"As I was saying, our mares are being lured to Rainbow Dash and we have no clue as to why. What I do know is that we can't allow this to continue. I say we come up with a way to lure our mares back to us."
Thunderlane was enchanted by Spike's passionate speech. "Yeah! I say we all become colt cuddlers and show them what's what!"
Spike face palmed and sighed in agony, he narrowed his eyes and continued on. "Your idea was terrible and you should feel terrible. My idea is we protest this insanity by going on strike. We shall not lift a single claw or hoof to help the mares of this town until they realize that we aren't going to be ignored."
"Eeyup," Big Mac shouted in agreement. Big Mac had been dying for some vacation time and as much as he loved his family they could survive without him.
All the ponies in the crowd had been convinced and they all cheered at Spike for his brilliant idea.
____________________________________________________________
Rainbow Dash was in bed with two hot mares and they each were snuggled up to her intimately. She wasn't the sort of pony who openly expressed her longing for intimacy. She had always kept her emotional barrier in check because she was the awesome mare that could do it all.
She noticed how peaceful Twilight and Fluttershy looked while they were resting at her sides. "Whatever is making you girls this happy, I hope it never goes away."
She caressed Twilight's cheek and gave Fluttershy's forehead a gentle kiss. She then closed her eyes to enjoy a nap that she totally deserved. Unaware of the chaos going down in Ponyville, she slept with a soft smile on her face.
____________________________________________________________
Pinkie Pie had teamed up with Mrs. Cake to bake a delicious assortment of treats for Rainbow Dash. They decided they would work together and share Rainbow Dash.
Rarity was working on a Wonderbolt's costume that had the finest aerodynamic materials and was stitched together with love.
Applejack decided to go into the secret Apple family cellar to get their most potent and tasty cider that was only meant for special occasions.
The spa ponies were preparing an erotic spa treatment. They agreed to play with Rainbow Dash and each other once they seduced her with their gentle touch.
Cheerilee tossed her school papers aside to write a fancy love letter to Rainbow Dash.
The mayor was going to give Rainbow Dash the key to the city with a note attached to it. In the note was a private message for Rainbow's eyes only.
While all the mares had been deviously planning ways to seduce Rainbow Dash, Princess Celestia was about to make her grand appearance.
____________________________________________________________
Celestia arrived at Ponyville with Discord flying next to her carriage that was drawn by royal guards. She instructed her guards to wait by the carriage as she wasn't planning on staying too long. Her mission was simple, she would grab Rainbow Dash and take her back to Canterlot. She knew there was chance for resistance and that's why she brought Discord along.
"Just so we're clear Discord, you will not cause harm to the ponies that try to stop me. I wouldn't want any of my subjects hurt over their inability to see how perfect Rainbow Dash and I are as a couple."
Discord almost laughed at Celestia but kept his composure. "Sure I will make sure that no pony gets in the way of true love. I just have one question, what if Rainbow Dash doesn't want to go with you?"
Celestia giggled, "Discord, you're so silly. If you so much as jinx this for me I will turn your insides out and make sure you suffer for eternity."
"Well that escalated quickly," Discord thought as suddenly the situation became serious. It made him wonder just how far would Celestia go to ensure that Rainbow Dash was her bride.
____________________________________________________________
Spike was in on a podium in the middle of town with a megaphone and a crowd of disgruntled stallions. He had rallied his troops and was ready to make the strike public.
"What do we want?" Spike yelled into the megaphone to make sure his question was heard.
"Our mares back!" was the response the crowd replied with passion.
"When do we want them?" Spike yelled even louder into the megaphone.
"Now!" was the response the stallions gave while matching the volume of their leader.
Just as they were ready to repeat themselves a random "Shut up! No pony cares!" was yelled by a particularly pink pony.
Spike tossed the megaphone unto the ground and smashed it into pieces. He immediately disbanded the group and decided he had enough. "I don't need to put up with this. I am the hero of the Crys... Why didn't I think of it? I know where I need to go."
Spike left behind his fellow male comrades to sulk in their short lived and failed strike. While it was a dick move to just abandon the stallions without informing them of where he was off to, he knew that time was of the essence.
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Rainbow Dash, I've got one word for you, before it's too late.
Run.
They're already in Equestria...
Good Chapter :)
4755798 Thanks for catching that. I will fix it :)
4755798 I think he meant canterlot :)
So maybe Cadence did it
Crazy trainwreck of most glorious hilarity! And it is gonna be the most side-busting crazy twisted crash when the collision occurs.
Seriously, It is a rare treat to find a fic that makes me laugh this much. This is a comedy masterpiece on par with the likes of John Clease, Benny Hill, and Douglas Adams.
I am looking forward to the next installment of this deliciously delightful masterpiece!
I need more
I wonder if Rainbow will become the Pegasus or Alicorn princess of harems.
And now I'll be clicking on the fave button now...
I love this fic so much!
However, and I don't mean to be THAT guy, but I feel like Rainbow should be more weirded-out by this, and not gladly taking bathes and sleeping with Twilight and Flutters, as if nothing is wrong.
This is bonkers
... And utterly brilliant 
We need more, please?
4756051 Well I remember when Twilight met gummy it was in a bath XD
Also I figure sleep overs and other stuff don't seem to far off.
Also >.> Rainbow Dash isn't the brightest pony XD
4756000 I am glad you enjoy it this much. :)
4756074 Well this story isn't stopping soon so you will be getting more XD
4756047 Glad you like it. :)
4756179
I guess that makes logical sense, being a kid-friendly show. And amen!
4756038
This has to happen
I bet Cadence has been writing Rainbow Dash shipfics.
4757330
You.
I like you.
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD.
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE.
4756051 she doesn't think they want to make sonic rainbooms
just cuddle. I like to think cuddling is common practice in equestria 
No, Spike. You do not know where to go. You do not know where to go at all.
4758527
Probably, yeah.
4758335
HARGLE FLARGLE MY FEAR MUSCLES ARE SPASMING, ALL HAIL THE GREAT AND POWERFUL EMPRESS FLUTTERSHY OF EQUINEKIND
Honestly I didn't think I'd like this story, but I'm glad I gave it a chance! This story is hilarious, and I can't wait to see the chaos unfold when Luna wakes up to see that her sister is trying to take up all of the Dash time
Alright I've got a prediction! It was Sweetie Belle that caused this. Whilst practicing her magic in an open field she accidentally cast the Want it Need it Spell, hitting an oblivious Rainbow Dash flying over head. Of course Dash being who she is, would likely just shrug it of having no clue what hit her.
...I have no words to describe my feelings, so I shall use emoticons, accompanied by words;
- Shame
- Confusion
- Derp
- Evil Happiness
- Regular Happiness
- Hilarity, or comedy... The chapter's funny, shut up.
Most excellent update.
4759650 Thanks XD I was more shocked than happy since it happened so fast.
"my wife just said she had to go 'taste the rainbow'." OMG YASSS lol that literaly killed me, I was in the floor laughing. Great story overall most likely the best I've read whileon this site! I look forward to future chapters!
4756372 Your very much welcomed. I'm very interested where you might go with this.
Now, with that being said, I think I might know what the punchline with Rainbow; but then again, I'll hold it back for now since you set this up and had written this very well. So far, it has been funny and entertaining.
I'll be looking forward to the next chapter(s).
Is that a reference to "Aaaarientation" by Billycolt? The fic where Braeburn has Earth Pony Magic that turns all the stallions gay?
Good job man
4762019 Nope it's actually reference to when a bunch of guys get together a stupid idea is bound to be talked about.
Trust me I have done some stupid things when hanging with my male friends XD.
So, when do the Changelings invade and become obese on the sheer quantity of Dash love?
4755967
Now guess who Spike finds at the station, just stepping off the first train from the Crystal Empire.
4761110
Nah, it's obviously Derpy
4762265 Could it be a South Park reference?
4763278 Actually that's where I think I got it from the most. That episode with the future people.
"They took our jobs" and that gay pile of men XD
But yeah Southpark was where I got my inspiration for that line.
Also stupid stuff guys say when left alone had also played a part in it.
Okay if you keep this up then this will definitely get more crazy as it progresses
Can't wait for more!
I didn't like this story.
I loved it!
Omg, this is soo funny, I loved it, and, I need more =D
[youtube=http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0kPTF8SFNiA]
I wish I could tell you that Rainbow fought the good fight, and the mares let her be. I wish I could tell you that - but Equestria is no fairy-tale world. She never said who did it, but we all knew. Things went on like that for awhile - Equestrian life consists of routine, and then more routine. Every so often, Rainbow would show up with fresh bruises. The mares kept at her - sometimes she was able to fight 'em off, sometimes not. And that's how it went for Rainbow- that was her routine. I do believe those first two years were the worst for her, and I also believe that if things had gone on that way, this place would have got the best of her.
So. Since Gilda actually exists, can we expect the Griffins to declare war against Equestria for Rainbow Dash?
and 
Reaction to everything so far:
Weekly update please?
4788619 Later today I still have to finish updating my other stories so it's done now. I just release it at noon or later. I could release it now but I won't plus it's worth the wait. I hope... I mean if you like it that is.
4788685
Oh, no problem! Just wanted to make sure that you actually have weekly updates and that I will have something to read before going to bed (UTC +2)
dis story is great