• Member Since 2nd Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 30th, 2020

fallenpenguin


I'm a guy who likes penguins and ponies. I sometimes draw stuff and now I write, apparently.

E
Source

Swift Wind got lost in the Zebrican savannah. There he encounters a bipedal creature. Then he runs.

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The first chapter was written as a one-shot and I still consider it as such. If you want some more fluff after finishing it, feel free to continue reading.
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This story was heavily inspired by this BBC video about persistence hunting. Whether you like or dislike the story, please leave a comment and criticize away or I can't improve my writing.
Special thanks to joeSFX for helping me edit this story!

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 66 )

Well, now I want more

Very interesting, short and sweet. Are you planning to add anything to this? A little more would be nice but the story stands well by itself.

4709403
That means it worked!

4709622
Thanks! I have a general idea how it could continue, but I don't know, if I'll do it. Right now this was the part that popped into my head and punched me till I let it out :applejackconfused:

We are RELENTLESS!!!
seriously though persistence hunting is a very old and extremely simple form of hunting and it makes use of a human beings superior endurance.

There is a lot of chance here for a nice continuation.
Take it.
Please.
For the love of god, take it.

...Is this your first fanfic? Seriously?

Naw, can't be. First fanfics are never this good. :twilightoops:

4714513

I beg to differ.

Or maybe it was blind luck.

Great fic, by the way. Hope to see more.

Looks good for a first fic. Can't spot any major flaws with spelling or grammar... you may be overusing "the creature" a bit at the end, but that's about it.
Keep writing :twilightsmile:

4711601
4713844
The pressure, the pressure :derpyderp2:

4714513
4714581
4714560
Thank you and yes, it's my first :twilightblush:

4711766
Humans, the Jason Voorhees of hunters :rainbowlaugh:

4714589
Thanks and I know. I just didn't want to outright say "the human" since the narration leans towards Swift Wind's perspective :pinkiesmile:

4711766
It's also damn effective.

Why in the holy hell is this Complete?

4714958
Yeah, yeah, whatever...

Now, isn't it a little hot in here?
Don't you want to get out of those tight
icecaps that leave so little to imagination?

Come on, let us see your living parts.

And that, people, is how we became the apex predators of this planet. The most simple and effective mechanism to walk our quarry to death. No the most quick, or the easiest, but definitely the correct path. And then, our brains grew, we figured out copper, then tin, iron, and many others. Being smart is great. Thanks endurance!

As with the first one, feel free to comment. If you see any errors or have any criticisms, please let me know :twilightblush:

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! More chapters!

4746426
The error is the word count, it seems to be under 100,000. Can you see to that?
:raritywink:

Good job. You got my attention. Please write more. :twilightsmile:

4746467
Oh, yes, sorry, I forgot to add in Pinkiiiiiiiie 97511 times :rainbowwild:


4746482
That is surprisingly fitting :rainbowhuh:

4746515
Thanks! Well, one more chapter to go for this story :twilightblush:

4746553 Please tell me I missinterpreted this and this is NOT a three chapter story. PLEASE!

4746603
Eeyup, three chapters, sorry :twilightsheepish:

4746611 I hope that will be a good chapter... :facehoof:

I like this. An accurate portrayal of humans as hunter-gatherers.

4718821
4747819
Cookie? Potato? Cookie-flavored vodka! :pinkiegasp:

I can only imagine that this will be rather weird for both of us.

Korohe is very well spoken. "Weird" is a word I would not expect him to use. "Strange" would be better.

4759871
Yes, that fits the contrast between Korohe's and Swift Wind's speech much better. Thanks :pinkiehappy:

this story has earned 100% of my yes. i hope there will be more but am still happy if this is all you write

4761442
Thanks :pinkiehappy:
There's one more chapter inbound, either tomorrow or the day after.

4764229 and there was great rejoice

As with the other chapters, feel free to comment. If you see any errors or have any criticisms, please let me know :twilightsheepish:

4769814
Last time, you wrote to me this Story had only three chapters. But when THIS is everything, well... be ready to get a buck in the ass.

This Story is totally AWESOME! Don't stop there. This is one of the few Stories how can be totally EPIC!

4769814 Im sorry but i agree with the other guy. Please do more of this awesome stuff. This site has nothing like it and I find myself falling in love with the setting

I like how this story is presented. All we need now are some white colonists...*sees pony*...no, we're good!:rainbowlaugh:

Dumb humor aside, this is very enjoyable!:twilightsmile:

Ok, I said the third chapter would be the last, but I couldn't resist at least giving an outlook on the future. Thanks for all your comments and keep the criticism and feedback coming :pinkiehappy:

4769831
Here, have an epilogue *straps pillows on his behind* Huh, I shouldn't have used superglue :facehoof:


4770047
Thanks, this comment means a lot to me because it means I achieved everything I wanted to do with this :pinkiehappy:

Kinda sad that you pulled a short-stop on this story, but what we got was good.
Thank you for writing it.

4770684 When this is a outlook to the future, does that mean there is a chance for a Sequel?

And think good what the answer will be...

*gets ready to buck*

4770741
No, thank you for reading it :pinkiehappy:
Sorry for "pulling a short-stop", as you said. Chapters 2-4 were pulled from ideas that I got writing the original story. I wouldn't have a clear direction now and that would show in the writing and the frequency of releases. I don't want to be the guy you have to wait 3 months on to get a mediocre thousand word chapter. Heck, the setting has so many possibilities, you could probably make an entire story just about the first caravan exploring, but that's a story I would want to read, not write :trollestia: (seriously, everyone feel free to write that or other stories in the setting).

4770769
Well, the pillows are stuck there with superglue, so I should be safe either way :rainbowlaugh:

In all seriousness, though: I have no plans for a sequel. What started this story was the thought of "What would persistence hunt be like in Equestria?" I'll probably continue doing short stuff along that "How would X be like?" line...

So...

What about the minotaurs? How did they react to something that looks sort of similar to them? I'm just asking because you added the ponies, zebras and griffons, you even mentioned the dragons and changelings. Did you just forget about them?

4770887 And don't forget the Diamond Dogs.

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