• Member Since 4th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen Sep 1st, 2017

Shadowlux100


E

When Courageous Shield, a royal lunar guard, meets an unusual ally, the two head off on an adventure by Princess Celestia to defeat rivals, create new friends, and bring back the Allies of Equestria. But what happens when their friendship is tested?
[A story written by me and my best bud, Auro454. ^^]

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 11 )

I have no objections on the concept of the story however the execution of some scenes lacks delicacy... For example i believe the Princess' anger is slightly out of character, there is indeed more than enough excessiveness of bits that could be fixed if you gave us a wider image of how a general price is.

In any case i think you should get an editor for the small errors like grammar and stuff... Nithing too major but you need it.

It also wouldn't hurt if you took more time into expanding each chapters or generally expanding what you have written.

In any case i look forward to seeing more.

4708795 glad you took it well.

4709159
Meh, I'm used to it. And quite frankly, you laid it easy on me. :raritywink:

4711087 Dont worry... I was much worse than you at first.

I might have a slight complaint about how trust led to Celestia picking Chryla for the team but past that the story quite honestly proceeds real smooth and nice.

>> nioniosbbbb

Creator Here! Thanks for your advice, and also not being too hard on shadow and I. I'm glad that you like it so far and there is much more to come!

4711657
Oh you DO have a Fimfiction account!

Why is this in the Markiplier folder?

5699993
I'm so sorry that it is. I put it in there on accident and I don't know how to take it out.

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