By Flutters
Discord paced around the table; the rut reaching his knees before he finally stopped. He worked his jaw to speak, but the words failed him.
Fluttershy frowned as Discord resumed his pacing. “It’s okay, you can tell me.”
He paused, only long enough to pout. “You’ll be mad at me.”
Walking to the kitchen, she put a kettle on the stove. May as well make some tea if she was going to be here for a while. He’d been rather urgent about speaking to her in private, then clammed up the moment they were alone. She looked up from the stove just in time to see Discord pull a cat off his tongue
“I’m pregnant.”
Fluttershy blinked.
“It’s yours,” he continued.
Fluttershy’s face scrunched into an expression between annoyance and anger. “Discord, that’s not funny. It doesn't work like that. I know a lot of ponies think I’m naive enough to fall for that. But I’ve raised animals of every kind for years. I know the birds and bees better than most.”
Discord wilted into the trench he’d paced. “I told you, you’d be mad.”
“Did Dash put you up to this? Did you lose a bet?” Fluttershy stopped. Discord was almost in tears. Fluttering over the counter, she pulled him into a hug. “I’m sorry.”
“You're not mad?”
“No. But really, who put you up to that?”
“You’re mad... “
Fluttershy pulled back from the embrace, and looked Discord in the eyes. “Males can not get pregnant; females can not impregnate.”
“What about seahorses?”
Rolling her eyes, Fluttershy searched her memory about seahorses. “I read about that. They’re a very special exception, though.”
“I’m part seahorse.”
“That... that still doesn't work. I’m—”
“Your great grandfather was a sea pony,” Discord interrupted.
“This still doesn't make any sense.”
“I’m the god of chaos.”
“Good point.” Fluttershy nodded, conceding to his logic, or rather the dismissal of it. Slowly, the concept of what she had just admitted to sank in.
“EEP!” She squealed, jumping into the air. One hoof rested across her stomach as she landed. “I’m going to be a... “ Looking to her stomach, she lowered the hoof. Wide eyed, she pointed it to the center of Discord’s serpentine body. “Mother?”
Discord nodded, a weary smile creeping onto his face.
A nervous giggle escaped Fluttershy and she took a step closed to Discord. “I ... are you sure?” she asked, resting a hoof on him.
Discord pulled her closer. “For about three months now.”
“We were staying with Cadence that month.“
“Probably that time in the hot tub,” Discord said, nodding.
Fluttershy blushed at the memory. It was a good one, but still... The howling tea kettle forced her to leave Discord’s embrace. Trotting around the counter, she tried to wrap her brain around the idea. “This will be hard to explain.”
“Twilight shouldn’t be too surprised.”
Putting the leaves into the kettle, Fluttershy shrugged. “You’re probably right. She’ll be excited to figure out what our foal will look like...” Freezing mid motion, she looked up at Discord. “What will our foal look like?”
Discord shrugged. “My wings and your teeth?”
“Which ones?” Fluttershy asked, running her tongue across her teeth to check if the fang had come back again.
Discord laughed, the worry finally melting from his expression.
“I swear,” Fluttershy squinted at Discord, then pointed a hoof at him. “If our foal is born with horns... “ Pausing for a moment, Fluttershy laughed. “Nevermind, you’ll be the one dealing with that.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“Sorry,” she said, pouring a cup of tea. “We should probably make an announcement soon.”
“Before I start showing. But I’d rather tell your friends in person. Preferably one at a time. They get a bit excitable in a group.”
- - -
Pinkie would be the first stop. She had made first on the list for several reasons. One; she would smile and congratulate them with earnest happiness. The others might be a bit more confused about the situation, and they wanted to start on a high note. Two; she probably already knew, and they needed to make sure she didn’t beat them to the announcement.
The bell rang as the opened the door to the bakery. “Hello!” Pinkie cheered from behind the counter. “Are you here to help me plan the foal shower?”
Discord humphed, crossing his arms he looked away from Pinkie. “I would never be so cruel as to make foals fall from the sky.”
Pinkie and Fluttershy shared a horrified look as the mental image ran through their minds.
“No no no,” Pinkie stammered. “I mean, somepony is pregnant, and I’m planning a party for them. Foal shower is just a silly name for the party.”
“Oh,” Discord said, resting a paw on Fluttershy as he relaxed.
“Actually, that's why we came here, Pinkie,” Fluttershy said.
“Ooo! you know who the lucky mare is? My Pinkie sense is being really weird.”
“We’re pregnant, Pinkie.” Fluttershy said, leaning into Discord.
“Both of you!? I was sure it was only one.”
Fluttershy sighed, looking up at Discord. She could tell he was enjoying this. “No, Pinkie. I mean Discord is pregnant.”
“Really? Who’s the dad?”
Discord’s snickering wasn’t helping, but what could she expect? “I am,” Fluttershy said.
Pinkie blinked, shuttering as a tremor rolled across her body. “I get it! You swapped mommy, daddy rolls. That’s really neat,” she said, suddenly squeezed between the two, wrapping them both in a hug.
“Thanks, Pinkie,” Discord said, grimacing from the bear hug around his neck.
Releasing her hold, before her friends turned blue, Pinkie bounced back behind the counter. “I made a cake for you,” Pinkie said, holding up a cake.
Approaching the cake, Discord looked down to read the frosting. “Congratulations on getting pregnant.”
“You’re so getting chocolate milk rain on your birthday,” Discord said.
Pinkie squeed.
- - -
Still a bit queasy from too many sweets, the two combed the town for any sight of Rainbow Dash. She was normally taking a nap this time of day, which made her a good bit harder to find. Fortunately, the cloudless day meant they only had trees to look into.
“Thar she naps!” Discord said, collapsing the brass telescope, and tucking it under his sailor’s hat.
Looking to where he was pointing, her eyes scanned the library tree. Sure enough a rainbow tail was dangling from the upper branches. “Hmmm”
Discord frowned at the scowl Fluttershy had unconsciously slipped into. Bending down, he kissed the spot between her ears. “Two for one, my dear Fluttershy?”
Jolted out of her worry, she smiled at Discord. “This isn’t going to be as fun as Pinkie was,” she said before returning Discord’s affection.
“They're your friends.” Turning round, he pulled a burlap bag from somewhere, and upended it; spilling out a pile of tiny potatoes. “Small potatoes, compared to what you all have been through.”
- - -
Twilight looked up from her book as the door opened. Fluttershy had an expression stuck between amusement and confusion as she looked behind her. The cause of Fluttershy’s bemusement was soon answered as Discord followed her into the Library. Walking in backwards he held a massive fishing pole, like what deep sea fishers used. His line was obviously hooked to some mighty fish, the line jerking the pole, and Discord with it, every direction. Except the glistening line was running up into the sky, not down into the water, or dirt, as it were.
Yanking and reeling the unseen sky-fish, Discord struggled to keep up with Fluttershy as she walked into the library.
“What’s he doing?” Twilight asked.
“I, Umm ... asked him to get Dash.”
Twilight peered over Fluttershy, just in time to see Rainbow Dash drug into the room like some reluctant kite; a little plastic figurine clutched in her forehooves. The moment she was through the door, Discord’s magic slammed it shut. Pulling a thin knife from the bag on his side, he cut the line.
Landing with a thump against the wall, “Ha ha! It’s mine!” Dash cheered, holding her prize up in triumph. Only now realizing she had an audience, Dash blushed. “It’s a limited edition Daring Do. You could only get this at the Manehatten toy expo.”
“I’ve been saving that for a special occasion,” Discord answered Twilight’s unvoiced question.
“Oh, so what the occasion?” Twilight asked.
Discord and Fluttershy glanced at each other. A momentary battle of small gestures resulted in Discord being the first to speak. “Fluttershy and I have an announcement-”
“Everypony knows you two are dating,” Dash interrupted, not taking her eyes off the figurine as she untied the fishing line from it. Looking up she glared at Discord. “You better not hurt her, and don’t get her knocked up,” she said pointing a hoof at him.
Discord pouted at Rainbow’s words, earning a hug from Fluttershy. “Well, I’m not pregnant. Discord is.”
Nothing moved in the house. Ear-ringing silence held the room in it grasp, till the thud of Spike falling from his hiding spot ruined it. “What!?” Spike said, not acknowledging his fall.
“What!?” the two mares repeated Spike’s question.
“Twilight, you know how sea horses breed, don’t you?” Fluttershy asked.
Twilight nodded. Dash looked even more confused.
“Well, I’m part sea horse, and she’s part sea pony,” Discord continued.
“You’re serious,” Twilight said more than asked.
Twilight’s eyes lit up as books and notepads floated off the shelves. “Okay, wow. This is unprecedented.”
Discord realized there was a thermometer in his mouth and a blood pressure cuff on his arm, and didn’t remember how they had gotten there.
“Way to go, Fluttershy!” Dash said, giving Fluttershy a solid pat on the back.
“You’re alright with this? I thought you’d be mad.”
“Sure, if he’d got you pregnant, I’d be a bit miffed. But you knocked up a god; that’s impressive,” Dash said patting Fluttershy on the back.
“What difference does it make?” Twilight asked, looking up from the measuring tape she had wrapped around Discord.
“I feel violated,” he mumbled from around the thermometer.
“Oh yea,” Twilight perked up. “Spike! Bring me the box of rubber hoof covers.”
- - -
Discord was still sulking when they walked up to Rarity's shop.
“Your friends are mean,” he said, picking another one of Twilight’s electrodes out of his fur.
“Twilight was just making sure you were healthy.”
“And Rainbow Dash?”
Fluttershy sighed. “She was just being supportive.”
Discord raised an eyebrow.
“She congratulated us, and was really excited.”
“You mean impressed, and thought it was awesome.”
“Okay, she can be a bit mean sometimes.”
Pitching the sticky electrode into a wastebasket, Discord snapped a white seersucker suit onto himself. “Well, at least I know Rarity will have some tact.” Walking ahead of Fluttershy, he knocked on the boutique's door.
“Enter,” Rarity called from inside.
Holding the door for Fluttershy, he followed her inside. “Rarity my dear, Fluttershy and I were hoping you would do us a favor.”
Looking up from her sewing machine, Rarity paused. Discord’s suit was actually rather nice, fifty years out of date, but nice. “You’ve been reading Fluttershy’s old fashion books.”
Discord shrugged, “They are rather interesting.”
Standing up from her work, Rarity walked over to give Fluttershy a hug. “I’ll help if I can.”
Fluttershy held quiet, she was curious were Discord was going with this.
With slow even steps, he walked over to one of the displays, “We're turning the guest room into a nursery, and was hoping you would help us decorate it,” he said, examining the hem of the dress in front of him.
Rarity made a strangled sound. Staring at Discord, she waited from him to elaborate, but he only continued examining the dress with feigned boredom. Looking to Fluttershy, she at least got an answer in the form of a glowing smile.
Waving a hoof between the two of them, Rarity stammered, “You two are... “
Fluttershy’s smile brightened. “Going to have a foal.”
Rarity squealed. Regaining a bit of composure, she bounced in place. “This is a bit sudden, but if you two are happy, that’s all that matters.”
Fluttershy blushed. “We’re calling it a happy accident.”
“So, how far along are you?”
“Well,” Fluttershy scratched at her foreleg, "Oh, just three months. But, um, I'm not the one who's pregnant. Discord is."
“What?” Rarity gawked. Looking back to Discord, his suit was replaced with a tacky maternity dress. ”You're messing with me.”
“We would never joke about something like this. It’s true, your little Fluttershy has, how did Rainbow Dash put it ... put one in the oven.”
Rarity scrunched up her mussel. “Only Dash would be that crass. But I’m still confused.”
“It a god of chaos thing,” Fluttershy said. “Twilight’s already looking into it. She’ll have better answers.”
Rarity nodded, the answer satisfying her immediate curiosity. “Yes, I suppose she would.” Scowling at Discord, she enveloped his horrid dress in her magic, and shredded it. “I’ll make you anything you like, if you promise to never wear anything like that again.”
Discord smiled. “So you’ll help?”
“Of course darling. This will be an absolute blast.”
- - -
Walking beneath the shade of apple trees, Discord studied the dozen swatches Rarity had given them. “This is confusing.”
“It’ll make more sense when we get home. What’s the plan with Applejack?”
Folding away the little cards, he stuffed them in Fluttershy’s saddlebag. “I think I’ve got this down.” Snapping his fingers a little yellow book with a golden spine, appeared in his talons. “We’ll be heading back for dinner in no time.”
“Be nice,” Fluttershy said eyeing the little book. It looked like one the goldbooks she’d read as a foal, only it had her picture on the cover.
Discord ignored her. “I think I saw her over there,” he said pointing through the trees.
Applejack sat her pruning saw on the cart. Looking up into the trees, she searched for any more branches that needed removing, when suddenly her vision was filled with Discord’s face. “Discord... “
“Howdy.”
“Is there somethin’ I can do for you?”
“In due time, I would hope so,” he said, finally backing up to a respectable distance. “For now, I’d like you to read this.”
Sitting down, she took the book in her hooves. “A foal’s book?” she asked. It had Discord and Fluttershy posing as a happy couple on the cover. Looking up for some kind of answer, she noticed Fluttershy sitting down next to Discord.
“We have a little announcement,” she said smiling, gesturing for her to open the book.
Opening the book, Applejack studied the bright pictures, and read the few lines of text. Flipping the page, she followed the simple story.
“I didn’t know your great grandfather Sand Dollar was a seapony. How’d he ever meet Desert Rose?” Flipping the page, she gave a muffled laugh. “Ha, that’s a right cute way to meet. Guess relocating runs in your family.”
A few more pages were turned in silence, before she spoke again. “I always wondered where you came from,” she said, looking Discord in the eye. Returning to the book, she scanned the last few pages before closing it with a smile.
“Don’t that beat all. Congratulations, you two.” Hoofing the book back to Discord, she shook his paw, the turned to hug Fluttershy. “I’m real happy for ya, and I’d be glad to babysit when you need.”
- - -
Back in town, Fluttershy sat down at the little dinner. “It’s going to take a day or two for this to all settle in.”
Discord shrugged. “I think we’ll make the best of it.”
Picking up her menu, Fluttershy smiled. “I guess we should start thinking about names.”
“I like ‘Throat Wobbler Mangrove’. But I want to change the spelling up a bit.”
Fluttershy lowered her menu just enough to look over the top of it. “Umm, lets just wait till we know if is a colt or a filly.”
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4701252
I may very well return to this story. In my head, I see two more chapters. Getting to them to paper is another thing.
I'd like a chapter focused on Fluttershy. Her figuring out what all this means to her as a female. Then I great comedy chapter of Discord going into labor.
I really need a coauthor for this. Just too much on my plate right now.
Anyway, back to working on the next chapter of Stars Relit.
ok this needs to continue somehow its a great idea
Pretty good, hope to see a sequel. I would be a sin to stop at this point.
Lol, we'll this is both hilarious and touching!
Granted there is that minor issue in regards to tree-brary still being around but whatever, wether it be because work on this was done before that aired or just cause the author doesn't like the new rock candy castle it's cool with me.
'Two for one, my dear Fluttershy'? It's a little messed up that neither of them remembered there are already two people living there. Discord should've said, 'three for two'. Unless neither of them gives enough of a shit about Spike to tell him he's gonna be an uncle.
4702223
Implying Spike's opinion matters at all
I was sure Discord was going to say he was joking in the end. But he wasn't. Great story though.
Good story, a couple spelling errors, but what story doesn't have 'em.
4702875 It matters a hell of a lot more than Rarity's.
I can't say how much this made me twitch, cause now i really want to see that book...
What, will the spelling of the foals name be "Luxury Yacht"? Yet it's spelled Throat Wobbler Mangrove.
4706175
Knowing one person got that, made my day.
Thank you.
I would like more.
Need a coauthor, im.your guy!
I'd love to see more of this.
This was a barrel of laughs
. Discord getting preggers was unexpected, and I can't wait to see what you come up with next.
The only case of "Mr. Seahorse" I have ever liked. Great little piece. Fun.
One thing though: When you fake something, you "feign" it, not "fain". So it should be "feigned".
I kinda want to see Celestia's and Luna's reaction to the news.
Great story!
If you need a co-author I can give you a hand!
So, you, there were a couple moments where I felt your character voice slipped and I don't entirely buy the Fluttercord ship.
That said? I was howling with laughter. A lot. A lot of Discord's lines are great and some of the gags are wonderful. Especially the payoff with the sky fishing.
I'd sure love to co-author this book with you if your interested. I have some experience writing Discord, PM me if you want to go ahead with it.
4701428
I'm half expecting a "poof the baby out" joke, a la Fairly Odd Parents, as well as a hand-squeeze into a gemstone. I might be able to wriggle out of C-clamps but one does not simply get out of a labor grip.
4702223
He isn't an uncle, though. He has no blood relation to any of the characters.
If you need a coauthor, Im somewhat interested. Send me a PM
I see, so the child's signature would be 'Raymond Luxury-Yacht' would it? I just hope neither of them have any elephant in them, or the nose of the offspring will put the original Mr Luxury-Yacht's one to shame. To summarise however:
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_laq1btoJ5A1qzheyt.gif
i477.photobucket.com/albums/rr137/FUUSUULUU/graham_chapman_stop_that_silly.jpg
Please! Write the parts where Celestia and Luna are told. I can see Celestia getting the hiccups and the sun bouncing all over the sky until Discord stops it with a few pats on her back and gets an “excuse me!” and a thank you from Celestia.
I see Luna walking off muttering “war hammer, war hammer, now where did I put that thing?”
4712819 No blood relation, does that mean anything? having no blood relation obviously mean he's not allowed to have a family? My aunt isn't related by blood or marriage, yet she still comes to birthdays, holidays and reunions, and we still call her Aunt Melonie.
4714191
Sure, but that doesn't automatically mean Spike will be considered an uncle, or start thinking of the baby as his niece/nephew. I also never said he wasn't allowed to have a family, just that he isn't an uncle by default. I don't see why you're getting mad at me over this.
The fuck... How di- What?
4716537
There's a fic in that somewhere...
4719743 challenge accepted. Along with Fluttershy's thorough knowledge about animals and.... you know. who am I kidding, I won't write crap, I'm lazy.
... oh wow, that title...
pregnant By Flutters. I should have seen that before.
Yes please update this, it's hilarious!! and I love the concept of seaponies, wish they were in the show <3
I can't wait for the sequel
4706138 me two
Aw man that was awesome. My sides hurt so good
Great read, hope to see more.
Hee, nice. ^.^ If you ever continue this, lemme know!
Highlight of the story for me! Love mamacord XD
Neat?
This piece is so great, I've read it twice now. Please do go on.
One question: what is a goldbook? Can't find it on google, that just gives me a bunch of companies.
5633493
It's a reference to Little Golden Books.
5634805 Ah, so that's it. I was thinking something along those lines, but thanks for confirming, because it still kinda had me stumped.
MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is another story of yours going into my favorites. This is entering head canon for any Fluttercord stories from now on. What a way to bring in real world biology. *two thumbs up*
if there is a sequel to this i can't wait for it
Raymond Luxury-Yacht.
I lolled.
I would like to see some extra chapters in this.
----
“Umm, lets just wait
- let's
Hilarious! And Discord kind of DOES look like a seahorse, at least his shape. XD
Excellent logic.
This is probably something worth keeping quite about ten years down the line.