What Happened Last Night?
Morning arises, and Matt and Applejack lay closely together in each others arms. Applejack’s head is buried in Matt’s chest, while his fingers instinctively caress her coat as he sleeps. Matt’s eyes wince, his head in a state of pain. A hangover. His eyes open to the sight of is wife’s mane all over his face, prompting him to chuckle and brush it back, so he can see her pressed up against him.
“Hey.” Matt says softly.
Applejack grumbles, rubbing her face further into Matt’s chest, before waking and looking up into his loving eyes. She winces as well. She too is suffering from a bad hangover.
“Mornin’ sugarcube.” Applejack says, tiredness in her voice. “Ya okay?”
“My head hurts.”
“Mine too. What did we do last night?”
“I don’t know. Whatever we did, we ended up in our be…” Matt feels the soft mattress of the bed. Only…it’s not their bed. It feels softer, and the bedsheets are silk, rather than their flannel sheets. “Um…this isn’t our bed.”
“What? We’re in somepony else’s bed? Where could we be?”
“Hold up…” Matt realizes something. “I just realized there’s a weight behind me. Applejack, can you check it out?”
“Sure.” Applejack briefly looks behind Matt. She looks back to him with a nod, as if the source of the weight is natural. “It’s Chrysalis.”
“I thought so, but I wanted to be sure.” Matt nods with her. It is then he notices something else. A white hoof wrapped around Applejack’s side. “ AJ…there’s somepony attached to you.”
“Huh?” Applejack looks down to see the white hoof wrapped around her. “Ah thought ah felt somethin’ strange. Here ah was thinkin’ ya was just happy to see me.” She chuckles, not too perturbed, before… “Oh mah gosh! What if it’s Rarity? Oh, no! Donut Joe!”
“Don’t worry, we don’t know if it’s Rarity yet.”
“Who else do we know that has a white hoof?”
“I’ll take a look…” Matt looks past Applejack, only to come crashing back down on the pillow with a look of absolute horror.
“What?” Applejack is anxious to hear who the pony is behind her.
“Well…it’s not Rarity. So, no need to be worried about Donut Joe.”
“Okay…so…who is it?”
“It’s…ummm…..Princess Celestia.”
“What?!” Applejack nearly shouts, but turns into a shocked whisper at the last second. “Princess Celestia has her hoof around me?”
“Yes.”
“So…yer tellin’ me that we are currently sandwiched between the Queen and the Princess.”
“Yeah. That about covers it. Also, we’re in Celestia’s bedroom, and it’s a total mess.”
“What in the hay?” Applejack looks around the room. It certainly is Princess Celestia’s bedroom, and the place is a total mess. Sheets are strewn about the room, along with knocked over pictures, vases, and even a rack of crowns. Nothing looks broken, but it could certainly use a clean up job. “Oh mah gosh. We ARE in Celestia’s room!”
“What do we do?”
“Ah don’t know. The important thing is that we don’t panic.” Applejack looks down at Matt. Noticing, “Hey, yer still wearin’ yer clothes.”
“Huh?” Matt looks down to see that he is indeed wearing the clothes he had on the day before. “Oh, I’m kind of surprised about this. In a good way, of course.”
“That’s because we didn’t do anything.” Celestia mumbles. Applejack and Matt look up to see Celestia open her eyes, looking down on them with a grin. “Well…nothing on the sexy side, anyway. I mean…nothing that involves nakedness.” She looks past the two. “You can open your eyes now, Chrissy.”
“Finally.” Chrysalis opens her eyes with a chuckle. “I didn’t know how much longer I could take this. I almost started laughing.”
“Wait…hold up!” Applejack looks at the two scheming royalty. “Y’all was awake this whole time?”
“Only for a few minutes.” Celestia answered. “We wanted to see what you two’s reactions would be when you woke up, so we stayed put until you did.”
“So, what happened, then?” Matt asks.
“Lots of sunflower wine.” Chrysalis responded. “Rarity brought some over to your place, and I invited Celestia as well. She brought a case of the stuff.”
“Dang it, Chrysalis!” Applejack pouts, “We was supposed ta make sure we didn’t drink too much.”
“Correction, we were supposed to make sure Matt didn’t drink too much. Unfortunately, we got too inebriated to pay attention to poor Matt here, and all Tartarus broke loose. Figuratively, of course. If it was literally, we wouldn’t be having this amusing conversation.”
“Okay…” Matt tries desperately piece everything together, “Do you remember what happened, then?”
“Matthew…” Chrysalis chortles, “Celestia and I may have been drunk off our rumps, but we still remember the events of last night. It’s one of the perks of being so amazing as us.”
“Unfortunately, we didn’t do much to stop it. Sunflower wine is powerful that way.” Celestia says with a hint of regret, but a bigger hint of satisfaction.
“Then…what happened?” Applejack asks.
Rarity was the first to arrive back at the Apple-Williams house, with Donut Joe following close behind. Chrysalis had left the house to Canterlot Castle in order to bring Princess Celestia along with her. Celestia was at first hesitant to come to the little get together, as Princess Cadance and Shining Armor were due to arrive for a nightly dinner, but Chrysalis convinced her that it would only be a meet and greet, and would be able to come back to Canterlot in time.
However, they didn’t expect Rarity to arrive at the house with a few bottles full of Sunflower Wine; the type of wine that Matt was worried she would bring.
“Ta-da!” Rarity says proudly, putting the bottles on the table in a big and threatening thump. “My favorite wine!”
“Crap.” Matt whispers to himself, before saying in room tone “Um…Rarity? Are any of those bottles by chance Sunflower Wine?”
“Of course, Darling! It wouldn’t be a get together without something to lighten up the festivities. Pinkie Pie may be good at bringing the entertainment, but I am the Queen of the ball no matter what.”
“Who said ‘Queen?’” Chrysalis enters with Celestia behind her. “As far as I can tell, there’s only one Queen around here.”
“Chrysalis!” Rarity yelps, “I-I only meant that in a figurative sense! Not a literal Queen, I assure you! My you are gorgeous tonight!”
Chrysalis giggles at Rarity’s stammering, leaning down slowly to her. “My beautiful Rarity, there’s no need to feel threatened. I was merely playing around. You are so cute when you’re nervous.” Chrysalis rubs Rarity’s mane playfully, with another giggle leaving her lips. “As for me, I did not bring any drinks, but I did bring a Princess.”
“Hello, everypony.” Celestia waves, “I cannot stay long. I have a dinner date with Shining Armor and Cadance.” Celestia eyes the bottles of Sunflower Wine with interest. “Though my visit won’t be TOO short.”
A knock on the door interrupts all conversation, and Matt walks over to the door in a rush. He opens it to reveal a delivery colt on the other side, holding bags of hot food with his unicorn magic. The colt smiles with a pleasant tone, as if deliveries are the best part of his days.
“Evening, sir! I got a delivery for a Matthew Williams-Apple! The full Fillydelphia special! Sundried Tomato, Mozzerella, and pickle sandwiches, Prance Fries, both potato and sweet potato, double hayburgers, and a diet sodapop.”
“That one’s fer me!” Applejack gallops to the colt and takes the soda cup away in a flash.
“Thanks.” Matt chuckles, paying for the food. “Have a good night.” When Matt shuts the door, he raises the bags in the air. “Slop’s on!”
The minute the bags hit the table, everypony dives right in, with the gang grabbing plates and whatever food they could get. Matt really did order a lot, and by golly, none of it is going to go to waste. Matt devours the sandwich with vigor, Applejack gobbles up the Hayburger like it was the last meal ever, and Queen Chrysalis has her muzzle buried in potato fries.
Rarity and Celestia eat their meal with class and like proper royalty. Donut Joe is trying desperately to do the same, but he falls victim to the charms of eating like a maniac.
As the food portions get smaller, Rarity begins to fill glasses with Sunflower Wine, an action which catches Applejack’s attention. Before she could say anything, the glasses are already at the table, by their potential consumers. Applejack puts a hoof on Matt before he could take the glass.
“What is it?” he asks.
“That’s Sunflower Wine.”
“Oh. I probably shouldn’t drink it, then.” His hand inches to push the glass away. Applejack stops him again.
“No, it’s not that ya shouldn’t. Just…moderate, okay?”
“Okay. Just little sips.” Matt picks up the glass, “I know you don’t like drunk me.”
“There are some advantages to bein’ drunk Matt, but ah kinda like ya ta be slightly sober Matt for the time bein’.”
Matt smiles as he’s true to his word; taking the smallest sip he can manage of the Sunflower Wine. It’s very sweet, but Matt knows the dangers of drinking sweet drinks. They hide the alcohol well, making one think that they can drink as much as they want, and not get drunk until by the tenth or so glass. It’s one of the reasons why Matt loves the hard Cider, but also fears it for it’s high risk and low reward results.
Chrysalis looks at Matt’s attempts to moderate and smiles. Seeing him try to stay true to Applejack’s wishes is adorable to the changeling queen. She, on the other hoof, has no problem drinking down her wine, as a small glass is nothing to a strong magical being such as herself.
Or so she thought.
As the hours went on, the get together became louder, and more rambunctious. Rarity and Donut Joe, a bit drunk from the wine, have made their way to the television to find a video game system sitting there, just waiting to be played with. In their inebriation, they grab the controllers, and turn the system on. Celestia and Chrysalis sit down hard on their rumps, watching Joe and Rarity play a little game of Mortal Kombat; an ultra violent video game from Matt’s world. Everypony in the vicinity reels in horror at the graphic depravity that befalls the combatants of the game.
“Sweet me!” Celestia gasps, “His arm is in his head!”
“I didn’t know spines worked like that.” Chrysalis tilts her head at the fatality that Rarity managed to perform with blind luck.
As for Matt, the moderation of the wine didn’t help matters, as the strong alcoholic beverage hit him pretty hard. Though normal drunk Matt would be a blast to be around, as he would get into eating and drinking contests, be a sudden master at fighting games, and would dance with reckless abandon, this drunk Matt is a Matt that is still in the process of grieving.
His Father’s recent passing still hasn’t fully left the human, and thoughts of the mortality of everyone and everypony around him flood his mind. His happy demeanor begins to fade, and Applejack fails to notice, paying attention to the fighting game scene on the television.
Matt looks at Applejack, imagining a potential future without her. He looks at Rarity and Donut Joe, also imagining a potential future without them. He looks to Chrysalis and Celestia, two alicorns who he knows will still be there for him, but fears that he will be burden to them, as he cannot imagine ever recovering from the loss of his friends and loved ones.
“Holy moly, Matt!” Applejack gasps at another brutal fight move by Rarity’s character, “What kind of games are these?!” She turns to find that Matt and his wine glass are no longer next to her. “Matt?”
Applejack gets off the chair, and looks around for Matt. He’s not in the living room, or the kitchen, or the bathroom. The last place she takes a look in is the bedroom. Inside, she can see Matt, sitting on the bed, holding his wine glass, and looking out the window. He stares out at the stars, his eyes showing a calm but saddened reflection of all that has happened to him. He doesn’t even notice Applejack getting on the bed, sitting next to him to the point of their shoulders bumping each other.
“Hey, you.” Applejack prods his shoulder, interrupting his thoughts. He slightly jolts at her touch, then calms down upon seeing her. “Where have ya been?”
“Sorry.” Matt lets out a half hearted and pained chuckle. “Got a little lost.” He feels Applejack wrap a foreleg around him, pulling him in closer. “Was just thinking. About the future and all. It’s probably just the wine. Made me a little…you know…down.”
“Aw, sugarcube.” she kisses him on the cheek. “Im sorry. Ah know what will make ya feel all better.”
“I don’t know if we should do that with other ponies in the next room.”
“Oh, hush!” Applejack laughs, pulling him off the bed, and towards the door. “Ya need ta spend some time wit friends. Ya still owe me an explanation for that violent video game!”
Applejack brings him back into the living room, where everypony present is still transfixed on the game. It’s only after yet another over the top and violent victory by Rarity, does the fashionista notice that Matt, though slightly peppier than before, still has a hint of a downtrodden expression.
“Darling? What’s the matter?” Rarity asks.
“Nothing. Just a bit…um…woozy, I guess.”
“Well, I know what will fix that. It’s a special concoction I cooked up myself.” Rarity goes behind the kitchen counter; hidden from the eyes watching her. After a few seconds, she pops back up with a mug full of darkened liquid. She floats it up to Matt. “Here, you’ll feel all better.”
“Um…I don’t know if I should drink something I didn’t see the origin to. What were you doing behind that counter?”
“So vulgar!” Rarity gasps. “It’s nothing terrible, I assure you. Drink up.”
Matt, sure that Rarity wouldn’t do anything to hurt him, drinks the liquid in one gulp. It’s strong, sweet, but…also….a bit familiar. Dangerously familiar.
“Rarity? What did you give me?”
“A full mug of Sunflower Wine.”
Matt’s eyes widen in shock, with a well timed and loud “WHAT?!” exiting his mouth. “I was supposed to moderate! Now I…now I….” the wine his hard and fast, and he wobbles onto the nearby couch. “Now I feel so…nice….” he smiles. “I feel hungry. Anyone else feel hungry? Is it just me? Probably just me.”
“Rarity!” Applejack scowls. “Now look at what ya done. Matt’s drunk!”
“Oh my. I completely forgot how strong Sunflower Wine can be!” Rarity’s look of shock then turns into indifference. “Oh well.” Rarity pours her own glass.
“Hey! Save some for me!” Donut Joe waves to her.
“Us, too!” Chrysalis and Celestia say in unison.
“Hey!” Applejack looks at the room full of increasingly drunken ponies. “Aw, shoot. What the hay?” she shrugs, pouring her own glass.
It doesn’t take too long for everypony in the house to be inebriated, with all either running around in reckless abandon, playing video games with vim and vigor, or in Matt and Applejack’s case, sloppily making out on the couch. The husband and wife do their best not to go any further than drunken kissing. Somehow, even in their alcohol induced state, they know not to give anypony else in the house a heck of a show. As Matt kisses Applejack’s neck with all the enthusiasm of a colt having his first kiss, the farmpony looks over at Chrysalis and Celestia sitting at the television, playing more of that violent video game.
An idea forms in Applejack’s drunken head.
“Matt…” she whispers.
“Hmmm…” Matt says, his voice muffled by his mouth being pressed agains her fur.
“Make out wit the Princess.”
Even in his state, Matt pauses, removing himself from Applejack’s neck with a look of surprise. “Excuse meeeee…..” Matt slurs. “Didjou jus say ta mach ouut wit Cheleshtia?”
“Yeahhh….” she giggles at the thought. “Dooo it…ah know ya want ta.”
“Do I? I dunno….”
“Ah wants ya ta…” Applejack is sultry in her tone. “Ah’ve always beeeennnn churioushh.”
“Welll….” Matt thinks… “Okhay. If yar churioush.”
Matt gets up off of Applejack and the couch, and wobbles on over to Celestia. She is too transfixed on the the TV to notice that Matt is walking towards her. It’s only when he is right next to her, that she turns to face him. Matt stares at her, face to muzzle. Celestia blushes at his closeness.
“Ummm….Matt?”
“Hey.”
Matt grabs Celestia by the cheeks and pulls her in for a passionate and drunken kiss. It’s the type of kiss he would normally give Applejack, and he puts his all into it. Applejack coos at the sight, but Chrysalis doesn’t notice.
“Hey! I’m finally winning!” Chrysalis smiles, “I think I’ve gotten good at…” she turns to see Matt giving Celestia the dance of the tongues. Her jaw nearly unhinges and drops to the floor. She is just as transfixed as Applejack is, watching the two throw all caution and reason out the window and into outer space. They aren’t just kissing, but a full blown make out session.
It takes minutes for the two to separate and look at one another. The tension is high with everypony in the room. Well, maybe not Rarity and Joe. They’ve run off into Matt and Applejack’s bedroom with mischievous giggles.
At Canterlot Castle, Shining Armor and Princess Cadance sit at the dinner table with Princess Luna, waiting for Celestia to arrive. Their dinner is out, but remains uneaten out of respect for the Princess of the Sun. The three figures of royalty make small talk, but each one is increasingly wondering where Celestia is.
That is, until a flash of light blinds all three of them. When the light fades, Celestia, Matt, Chrysalis, and Applejack, are all standing on the table, ruining the fine food the chefs made. The group gallop off the table, and burst out of the doors.
“MAKE OUT PARTY!” Celestia bellows, running through the halls with the excited cheers of her entourage following her.
Cadance, Shining Armor, and Luna look back at one another in utter confusion.
“And that’s pretty much what happened.” Celestia concludes the story to a shocked Matt and Applejack. Chrysalis was smiling during the whole things.
“Pretty much?” Matt wonders, “Did you leave anything important out?”
“Nope. That was the gist of what happened. We got drunk and had a crazy make out party.”
“Saying things like ‘gist’ and ‘pretty much’ still isn’t inspirin’ much confidence.” Applejack wonders alongside Matt. “Are ya sure nothin’ of importance happened?”
“Like what? What could I possibly leave out?”
“Oh, many things.” Matt says. “What if we did more than make out?”
“We didn’t. You still have your clothes on.”
“There are many ways why this explanation can be argued.”
“Would you have preferred that we did other stuff?”
“No.”
“Then why push it?”
“You might have a point.” Matt shrugs. “So…since you two seem to remember a lot….how…was it? Me and AJ with you guys?”
“Awful.” Celestia nods.
“Terrible.” Chrysalis continues.
“Worst drunk make out ever.” Celestia keeps going.
“Y’all say that as if ya have experience.” says Applejack.
“We have a whole lot of experience, and I can say, without a doubt, this was one of the worst drunken make out sessions ever.”
Matt and Applejack look around the room some more, noting its wrecked nature. No stone or piece of furniture besides the bed has been unturned. Surely, it couldn’t have been that bad, if the room is in the state that it’s in. The two look at one another, somewhat sure that the Princess and the Queen are lying their flanks off. Still, they feel it’s best not to pry any further. They left Rarity and Donut Joe back at the house, and who know what kind of state it may be in. Plus, Clementine could be coming home at any minute.
“Okay then.” Matt gets up, keeping Applejack in his arms as they maneuver out of the giant bed. When Matt gets onto the floor, he lets Applejack down. “We’ll be on our way back.” Matt reaches for his pocket, realizing… “Damn, I didn’t bring my transportation band.”
“We got you covered.” Celestia says. “You two take care.”
“I’ll see you two next week?” Chrysalis asks.
“Sure thing.” Applejack waves. “See y’all around.”
With a flick of Celestia’s horn, Applejack and Matt are whisked away back to their home. The Queen and the Princess look around the room, finally realizing just how much of a mess they made during whatever happenings that occurred the night before.
“Applejack is a lucky mare.” Celestia admits.
“Yeah.”
“Do you think….”
“Don’t say it.”
“Say what?”
“I know what you were going to ask.”
“What was I going to ask.”
“Doesn’t matter. No, you can’t try to steal Matt away.”
“Who do you think I am? Twilight?”
“Ouch. That’s a bit harsh.”
“Just a bit. I’m sorry. I wasn’t going to say that, though. Why did you think I was?”
“No reason.”
“You tried. Didn’t you?”
“No!”
“Liar.”
Suddenly, Shining Armor and Princess Cadance burst into the room, looking very annoyed. That look of annoyance turns into panic, as the bursting in caused Shining Armor to trip over a toppled over dresser and land on his muzzle. He recovers quickly with a headshake.
“What in the hay happened last night?!” Shining Armor demands.
“Why does this room smell like shame?” Cadance wonders quietly to herself.
Applejack and Matt appear at the front of their house. On the outside, things don’t look promising, as there are egg yolks splattered on the windows inside, curtains are strewn, and Pinkie Pie is passed out on the lawn.
“Pinkie Pie?” Matt shakes the tired party pony.
“Mmmmm….hide the beer…the po-po is here….” Pinkie mumbles.
Matt goes to the front door. It’s unlocked. He and Applejack share a look of concern, afraid of what’s on the other side. Matt opens the door, and the two step back in horror at what they witness. Matt covers his eyes, while Applejack does the same.
“OH GOD!” Matt shouts. “ALL OF YOU! GET OUT! OUT! OUT!” Matt waves his hands to the outside, demanding that all inside leave.
A conga line of ponies exit the house with some showing satisfaction, and some showing shame. Along with Rarity and Donut Joe, Trixie, Twilight, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Big Mac, Discord, Doctor Redheart, a random Changeling, a Minotaur named Iron Will, Lyra, Bon Bon, and Vinyl Scratch carrying a boombox all come walking out.
“Go on! Walk along! Go away!” Matt stops Trixie. “Hey, Trixie, what’s up?”
“I’m good. Sorry for wrecking the place. I’ll clean it up.”
“Wait, hold up. That’s a good idea!” Applejack beams. “Hey, everypony! Get back inside!”
“More partying?” Pinkie Pie rises up in excitement.
“Nope!” Applejack shoots down the idea. “Clean up time!” Everypony groans. “Don’t you ‘ugh’ me! Y’all did this! We ain’t responsible for most of it! Go on! Get inside!” Applejack and Matt lead everypony back in the house.
“Mom? Dad?” Clementine comes wandering in with Slip Wing, looking at the line of ponies plus Discord and Iron Will walking into the house. “What in the hay is happenin’?”
“Oh nothing.” Matt says, still directing everypony back in. “Just making them clean a mess they made.” He looks to Applejack. “Maybe you should take them out to breakfast.”
“Good idea.” Applejack nods, turning to Clementine and Slip Wing. “Hey, who would like some ITROT pancakes?”
“That sounds amazing!” Slip Wing smiles. “But, is everything okay over there? Something happen last night?”
“Stuff happened. Nothing worth repeating.” Applejack doesn’t want to think about it. “Let’s go.”
As Applejack leads the two away from the scene, Matt starts telling the guests inside where to put things.
“Okay. Twilight, fix that vase. Discord, turn the snake back into a lamp. Minotaur guy?”
“Iron Will.”
“Yeah, Iron Will, can you stop staring at Vinyl Scratch’s butt?” Suddenly, Vinyl Scratch smashes her boombox over Iron Will’s head, proving that he may have an iron will, but not an iron skull, as he plops on the ground quickly. Matt winces. “Ouch. Doctor Redheart? Help Iron Will.”
Hope you like that bit of craziness, cause things are about to get loud in the upcoming chapters! 
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Oh, oww. Okay It's noted. Do not stare and Vinyl's but while she is holding a boom box.
Iron Will (after waking up): "...Worth it."
My favorite drunk.
LOL! It kind of reminds me of when I'm getting a good buzz going, I'm just happy, and for some reason, I talk about how music used to be good.
Kinda like my idea of New Year's Eve and Christmas. Oh, and Halloween, if a party is in the plans.
I wonder if it's going to be the good kind of loud, or the bad kind?
Good loud or REALLY good loud. The latter will cause a m rating, so I guess not Really good
My theory might come true what the Author note said...
Oh please... not like this
7543200 Yes. Ever since the Sombra incident in My New Life in Equestria, the Chrysalis and the Changelings have made peace in Equestria, and are able to live freely.
7543291 Awesome!
Snrk, seems like everyone had quite the party. And I love Cadance's comment.