Yes
Randall Stevens was not a happy camper.
Of course, being an aquatic apex predator, he really didn’t know much about camping at all, just whispers gleaned from the other fish in the river before he ate them.
Randall Stevens was not very popular in the river.
But he appeared to be very popular outside of the river, where he was now currently floating to his own amazement. He witnessed two winged ungulates talking—one yellow, one purple with a horn. If what he was hearing from the purple ungulate was correct, a battery of spells had been cast on him, among their number a docility spell, a flying spell, and an air-breathing spell.
Randall Stevens was quite literally out of his element.
The two ungulates finished their conversation to much smiling and nodding. The yellow ungulate slid a set of reins over his snout. He really wanted to hug her to fun. The purple ungulate then hopped on his back and tugged on the reins, causing him to jerk back. He then felt a whipping sensation across his spiracle, which caused him to rush forward, presumably away from the pain. Alas, as soon as he air-swam away from what he deduced to be the source, the whipping began again. On and on, his spiracle was whipped as he tried to rush away from the source until he could take no more.
“Excuse me, could you please stop whipping my spiracle? It’s getting rather annoying,” Randall Stevens said.
The whipping stopped, upon which Randall Stevens let out a sigh of relief.
“Then how am I supposed to get you to move forward?” the purple ungulate on his back queried.
Randall Stevens sighed in frustration. “By asking me, as opposed to crudely whipping me like a madmare.”
“OK, Sharky!”
Randall Stevens sighed again. “The name’s Ran—”
“—okay, Sharky, onwards to Canterlot!”
“Your wish is my command,” Randall Stevens grumbled, “which way is Canterlot again?”
His snout was jerked in the direction of what he presumed to be Canterlot. “This way!” the purple ungulate said, “now, onwards!”
Randall Stevens was not amused.
He flew over a small town, bustling with the thrum of activity. “This is Ponyville, where I live!”
“That’s nice,” Randall Stevens said, “what’s with the castle?”
“Oh, that’s mine!”
“You have a castle?” Randall Stevens asked as he air-swam over it.
“Yeah, I got it from a box!”
“How did...you get a castle from a box?”
The purple ungulate on his back giggled. “Oh, you don’t want to hear that story.”
Randall Stevens grit his teeth as the castle escaped his vision. He very much would like to hear that story. It probably involved explosions and feats of derring-do. Plus, it was cerulean. The color of where he belonged.
Many minutes went by as they traversed the fields between Ponyville and Canterlot in silence. Eventually they came across a large mountain.
“Up there, Sharky!”
“It’s Ran—”
“—no time to argue, Sharky!”
Randall Stevens groaned as he air-swam up the mountain and came across a city on a hill. If Ponyville was thrumming with activity, Canterlot was positively flowing with life, like a river. A river where Randall Stevens belonged.
“To the castle, Sharky!”
“Which way is the castle?”
The purple ungulate on his back tugged the reins until a large castle was in view. Randall Stevens nodded and air-swam through the streets of Canterlot, eliciting gasps and screams from passerbys who acted like they had never seen a shark in their life.
Hmm. Plebeians.
Randall Stevens' reins were pulled this way and that until he approached a gate with two guards whose faces suggested they had never seen a shark either.
The guard on the left spoke up first. “Um, Princess Sparkle, we have to ask you to dismount your mode of transport.”
The ungulate known as Princess Sparkle giggled and said, “What? You mean Sharky?” she said as she rubbed his spiracle. He could get used to that. “He’s perfectly harmless!”
“Indeed I am,” Randall Stevens said, “for now.”
Both guards gulped. “Uh, very well. You may pass,” the guard on the right said as both guards opened the doors.
“Thank you, guys!” Princess Sparkle said, “onward, Sharky!”
Randall Stevens air-swam forward. “I keep trying to tell you,” he said as he air-swam directly into the throne room where a very surprised white ungulate with a mane that flowed like a rainbow sat, “my name is Ran—”
“Princess Celestia!” Princess Sparkle cut Randall off with, “look, I made a new friend!”
Princess Celestia appeared to be at a loss for words. She finally collected herself. “I see that, Twilight,” she said serenely.
“Isn’t he great? I can ride him to and from Ponyville without either of us getting tired!”
“That’s...great, Twilight,” Princess Celestia said as she buried her face in her hoof. “But a river shark? Seriously?”
“What? I cast a docility spell on him, so he should be fine…”
It was at this moment that the docility spell wore off. Randall Stevens violently threw Twilight off of him and spun around to face his tormentor.
Twilight got up on her haunches and looked at Randall Stevens with a wide-eyed look on her face. “Sh-sharky? What are you doing?”
Randall Stevens breathed heavily as he glared at his slavedriver. “First, you take me out of my natural habitat. Then, you attach these ridiculous reins to my snout and start whipping me with them. After that, you rode me all the way to Canterlot like an animal! And I keep trying to tell you, my name is Ran—” and was promptly cut off because his air breathing spell had expired. At a loss for air, Randall Stevens kept air-swimming in vain to try and suck the oxygen out of the room, but it was no use. He was a water creature, and no amount of swimming in air would give him his precious oxygen.
It was at this point Randall Stevens desperately wished he could breathe air once again.
It was also at this point that his flying spell wore off as well.
Randall Stevens fell to the ground and flopped around like the fish out of water that he was. He then saw a purple glow surround him and imbue itself into him, upon which he inhaled a large breath. He looked up to see Twilight looking over him, smiling.
Randall Stevens was very confused.
“...why did you save me?” he asked.
Twilight giggled. “Because you’re my friend, silly!”
Randall Stevens was very confused indeed.
“...do you ride all of your friends around like that?”
Twilight giggled again. “Of course not, Sharky! They’re ponies! But Spike does ride on me sometimes.”
Randall Stevens nodded. “You know, before I ran out of air, I really wanted to maul you to death.”
Twilight grinned. “And now you don’t?”
“No, I still very much want to kill you.”
Twilight’s smile turned into a frown. “Oh. Is there anyway I could make it up to you?”
Randall Stevens mused on that for a moment. “Hmmm...you could start by calling me by my name.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Your name?”
Randall Stevens nodded. “Yes, my name. Randall Stevens.”
Twilight tentatively reached out a hoof to Randall’s fin and shook it. “Well, nice to meet you, Randall.”
“Likewise. There is something else you could do for me, though…”
----
Randall Stevens was a happy river shark. He was swimming in the river, chomping up fish by the mouthful. He popped his head above water to see Twilight smiling. He waved a fin and smiled.
“So, I’ve relocated all the fish within a twenty-mile radius to the Ponyville River. How do you like it, Randall?”
Randall Stevens grinned. “I love it, Twilight,” he said as he dove his head back underwater to eat more of the delicious fish. Being an apex predator had its benefits, after all.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Majin Syeekoh · 1.4k words · 344 13 · 4.7k views
- Majin Syeekoh · 1.5k words · 350 22 · 5.6k views
- Majin Syeekoh · 1k words · 182 16 · 6.7k views
- Majin Syeekoh · 1.4k words · 154 7 · 2.6k views
- Majin Syeekoh · 1.7k words · 1,086 32 · 12k views
- mojomcm · 1.6k words · 84 0 · 2.2k views
- RainbowBob · 3.1k words · 448 5 · 6.1k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.173 seconds
Total duration
677 users online
884,793 hits today, 1,822,946 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Man, I love crack fics like this.
Thanks for the chuckles, my good fellow. Have an upvote.
OMG this story is so random (in a good way)
I approve this story.
Quite good, sir.Exquisite in some cases.
Why jump the shark when you can ride him in a non-sexual manner?
twilight sharkle
two words: epicus maximus.
this fic is glorious
...
Wow...
Nicely done, I got a few good chuckles out of that. It has also completely disarmed me, I can't come up with a shark-based pun.
4681011
I guess you feel like a real fish outta water right now
Upvoted for the title alone. Now I will read it.
This.
What?
I....
What?!
I have no words.
ih0.redbubble.net/image.10434195.9580/fc,550x550,white.jpg
oi56.tinypic.com/24otx7l.jpg
4681065 And there it is, thanks for picking it up for me.
I have no idea where this came from, but like the Magic 8 ball that appeared in the middle of my lawn one night, I shall take it and cherish it always.
Words... they fail me.
I agree. Yes
What the actual @#%& did I just read
Mr. Stevens, I dare say that was but a silly tale of loony Twilight trolling around with wildlife. It reminds me of Lesson Zero, perhaps Twilight believes she needs to start making friends with everyONE, and that includes a shark as well. Why? Well, cause, she's Twilight and sometimes over fucking thinks shit. This was really funny, I enjoyed reading it. XD
This, just, yes. An appropriate amount of yes.
What? I have to save some of my yes for other things.
...
Alright, now that my Yes Management Consultant is out of the room, have a bajillion more yes.
This is excellent, did you by any chance drink a pint of absinthe before write this? I find it helps with randomness.
LET'S FLY TO THE CASTLE!
This is outrageous. I question your sanity, yet make no suggestion for you to change it.
....is it bad that this image is the first thing that comes to mind?
img.photobucket.com/albums/v28/kierthos/Epicus_Maximus.jpg
This was deliciously insane.
Fine, I'll read the bloody crackfic! Can't be that funny...
i1.ytimg.com/vi/aBSU4SBrNJU/hqdefault.jpg
Oh fuck the hell yes.
Okay, i know that Twilight has done some outright ridiculous things before but this (realizes obvious terrible joke
) is just... jumping the shark.
:
4681998
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/4563686144/h9B449B8F/
Crackfics like these always leave me confused.....in a good way, I mean.
You good sir made me giggle with this wonderful crackfic. Have a moustache.
Am I really going to read this before I go skydiving? Is this possibly the last fic I'll ever read?! A crackship about Twilight riding a fucking shark?!
Looks like it!
This is one of the best things I've read in a while.
My Little Pony: Sharknadoes are Magic!
Well...that was a thing that I just read.
iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/393308__safe_solo_animated_image%2Bmacro_equestria%2Bgirls_glasses_spoiler-colon-equestria%2Bgirls.gif
Well this was hilarious. An excellent use of five minutes.
There are no words that can describe how amazing this is.
This.. was something.... it was drugs, I'll go with that.
This was something. Crackfic. That's what it was.
This part friggin' killed me!
4680674 fucking plagiarism
What the whore did I just read?
My favorite thing is the shark's name, because it sounds so unshark-like. Very nice crazy fic.
What the krunk? Why did I enjoy that?
I don't know what I expected...
But I liked it.
for
__________________
Interesting ... Why is everpony in Ponyville crazy?
4686089
Huh?
4687555 It's supposed to be to fun. It's a mirror of "maul her to death."
4687598
Ah! Still comes across as strange grammatically, but nonetheless that makes more sense now that I get the context. Thank you for clearing that up.
4687643 Not a problem.
4687555 Oh
We're in the same skype chat and I made that pun before him
and then he posted it
4688282