• Published 24th May 2017
  • 1,022 Views, 35 Comments

It's Not Easy, Being Orange - Show Stopper



New home in Ponyville? Check. New job for the Equestrian Postal Service? Check. Cover story on why you look half fox and totally don't turn into one at the full moon? Check. What could possibly go wrong?

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Chapter 1

Chapter 1

A cool, late summer wind blew across the central plains of Equestria, ruffling the mane of a pegasus mare who stood upon a hill overlooking a small town at the base of the Unicorn Range. The mare sniffed the air before taking in a deep pull. "Mm," she moaned to herself. "Apples and baked goods. I think I'm going to like this town." Eschewing her wings, Autumn Breeze began trotting down the hill.

Autumn drew no small amount of staring as she entered Ponyville, not that she'd expected anything else. Her coat was a bright, vivid orange, her mane and tail a darker, more reddish hue. A brown oak leaf adorned her flanks, her cutie mark also appearing on the clasps that held her saddlebags closed. However, the rest of her appearance was rather strange for a pony. Her underbelly from the base of her tail to her neck was a pure white, as were the tips of her mane and the end of her long, bushy tail. The tips of her ears and her muzzle were darkly shaded, the end of her nose almost black. Finally, her amber eyes held pupils that were slightly taller and narrower than usual.

All in all, she looked like Discord had found a pegasus and gotten half-way into turning her into a fox before he'd gotten bored. And with the chaos spirit having taken up residence in the town only a few months prior, nopony could say for sure that she wasn't. And so, much to Autumn's amazement, most of the ponies who saw her simply shrugged before continuing about their business. Huh, Autumn thought. These ponies are a lot more accepting of the bizarre than I expected. I'm starting to see why Silver Shoe recommended this place. Giving a shrug of her own, Autumn began looking around at the buildings and street signs. "Now, where's Founder's Place?"

"Just keep going straight on this road!"

Autumn leapt into the air, baring her teeth at the Pink earth pony beneath her. "What the hay!" she shouted. "H-how did you-"

"That'll lead you straight to the Town Square," the chipper mare continued, apparently not noticing or not bothered by Autumn's reaction. "Cross the bridge on the southeast side which will put you on Stirrup Street. Founder's Place is two blocks down, with the post office to the right! Cupcake?"

Autumn blinked, staring at the orange and white pastry that the pony had pulled out of nowhere and lifted up to her face. "Um... sure?" she replied, taking the cupcake and raising an eyebrow at the strange mare. Seeing her encouraging grin, Autumn shrugged and took a small bite. Her eyes instantly widened and she quickly scarfed down the rest of the tasty treat, licking her muzzle to ensure that she got all of the crumbs.

"Pretty good, huh?" The pink pony asked, bouncing up and down.

"I'll say!" Autumn finally landed, grinning from ear to ear. "That's got to be the best cupcake I've ever tasted! Definitely in my top ten desserts." She smacked her lips a few times, reflecting on the lingering flavors. "Pumpkin and cream cheese, right?"

"Yupparoonie! Thought you looked like a Fall kind of pony." the pink pastry pony proclaimed, proffering her hoof to shake. "I'm Pinkie Pie. Nice to meet you!"

"Autumn Breeze," Autumn replied, shaking her hoof. "Just got into town today." Her eyes narrowed as suspicion suddenly dawned. "Hey, wait a minute. How did you know I was looking for the post office?"

"Well," Pinkie began, a feeling of dread falling over Autumn, "I saw you walking down the street and thought 'Oh my gosh a new pony in town!' because I know everypony in Ponyville but I don't know you which means you must be new in town and I remembered how Ditzy had told me earlier that she had FINALLY gotten somepony to come in and help her at the post office because she's way way waaaaay too overworked and now maybe she'll have some time for herself and to ask out that Doctor she's been crushing on for a while but she's not like super obvious about it and she said that the new pony should be coming in today and I put two and two together and came up with the four hooves walking down the street and decided to say hello but you looked a little lost and asked where Founder's Place was so I knew that I was right about why you were here so I told you how to get there and offered you a 'Welcome to Ponyville and Thanks For Helping Ditzy Not Be So Busy All the Time' cupcake which you really liked but said was only part of your top ten desserts not you number one so now I'm wondering just who in Equestria makes better desserts than me?"

"...how do you hold that much air in your lungs?" Autumn shook her head, trying to parse through everything that Pinkie had said before giving up and just focusing on the last bit. "Um, there was this one place in Manehattan that had some killer funnel cakes. Not just your run-of-the-mill stuff, but all sorts of different batters and toppings. Then there was that ice cream store that I went to every week in Tall Tale. There's also an old, back-alley shop in Cloudsdale that makes the best cloud cake in Equestria. That's probably my number one pick, but since the Old Mare makes it with real clouds, only pegasi can really enjoy the full experience. Then there's Las Pegasus. Most of it's just hyped up junk, but there are a couple of places I'd recommend to anypony going through there." Licking her lips one more time, Autumn nodded. "So yeah, that cupcake probably ranks at number six or seven."

"Neato! Well, see you on Saturday!"

"Yeah, see you on-" Autumn blinked. "Wait," she said, turning back to Pinkie. "Why Sat-" Her question died on her tongue as she saw that Pinkie had disappeared. Autumn chuckled, shaking her head and starting back down the road. "There's one in every town, I guess."

Just as Pinkie had said, the road led to a large, open square with a large, three-story building dominating the center. Market stalls lined the square, most of them closed or with signs saying that the owners were out to lunch. Looking out to a distant clock tower, Autumn saw that it was a little after noon. I guess I'll grab a bite to eat first, she thought. Not knowing where any restaurants would be, she picked a street at random and started walking again.

As she walked, Autumn began making a mental map of the town. She counted herself fortunate that the town hall and clock tower were clearly visible above the roofs of the surrounding houses and businesses. The other buildings in town were rather remarkable as well. Each house was unique in some way or another, from small gardens of beautiful flowers to entire wings of the house added on. The various businesses were even more personalized. A high-end looking restaurant with tables that looked like large mushrooms stood right next to a store that seemed to sell quills and, of all things, sofas. She even saw a building down one street that looked like a giant carousel!

One thing's for sure, Autumn thought, passing a delicious smelling, gingerbread-house looking bakery, I'm never going to get lost in this town. I'll bet good bits that that's where Pinkie Pie works. She indulged in one last sniff of the bakery before another scent distracted her. No way! She eagerly turned to follow the scent, breaking into a gallop as it grew stronger. There's no way a small town like this has... A huge grin split her face as a familiar building came into view. The Hayburger was a familiar chain restaurant all across Equestria, but every now and then she would find one that catered to more than just ponies. She trotted through the doors, tail swishing eagerly as she approached the counter.

"Welcome to Hayburger!" chirped the teenage unicorn filly behind the counter, her two-toned purple mane a little ragged and her smile obviously strained. "May I take your order?"

Autumn looked around the packed restaurant before giving the filly a sympathetic grin. "Just finished the lunch rush, huh?"

The filly groaned, abandoning her professional cheer and slumping forward to rest her head on the counter. "Celestia, yes! I was about to go on break when you walked in. Don't worry," she said, waving her hoof lazily. "I'm sure I can summon enough energy for one more order."

Autumn couldn't help but chuckle at the teen's antics. "Well, if you're sure it won't make you drop dead from exhaustion." She took a quick look around before lowering her voice. "Actually, I was hoping I could order something that isn't on the menu."

The unicorn's ears perked up. "Really?"

Autumn nodded. "I believe you have the Gryphon's Special here?"

The filly's eyes widened, her head shooting straight up. "Celestia's horn!" she hissed. "And I told him he was crazy for keeping that stuff in stock! Didn't think we'd ever get a pony in here crazy enough to- I mean, um," She looked away, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly. "Um, DARING enough to try it! Yup. Daring. That's totally what I said."

Autumn smirked at the filly's lackluster coverup. "Don't worry, I get that a lot. I spent about a year in Gryphonstone and the taste kind of grew on me."

"Right. Right." The unicorn cleared her throat, trying to regain her composure. "So, one Gryphon's Special. Will that be all?"

"Actually, better make it five." The unicorn's jaw dropped. "And a half-dozen orders of fries." Her eye began twitching. "Three sodas too, unless you offer free refills?" A slow nod. "Great! Only one soda then. Diet. You got all that?"

"...when was the last time you ate?"

"Ah, don't be like that, Amy!" The unicorn jumped and spun around as the door to the side behind the counter opened. A gryphon stepped out, his feathers a golden color and splattered with grease. His back half was black, his leonine tail tipped with a tuft of white. He grinned as his eyes fell on Autumn. "Breeze! I knew that voice sounded familiar!"

"Geralt!" Autumn leapt across the counter, tackling the gryphon to the ground and ignoring the unicorn's startled squeak. "Oh, it's so good to see you!" she cried, hugging him tightly. "Should have known you'd try setting up cooking gryphon fare in Central, you featherbrain. how've you been."

Geralt the gryphon laughed, hugging Autumn back before pushing her off of him and climbing to his feet. "Been good, Breeze. Been good. And this featherhead has been doing pretty well for himself, thank you very much, even if the ponies in this town wouldn't know good cuisine if it bit them in the flank."

Autumn snorted, slugging Geralt playfully on the shoulder. "Need I remind you that gryphons only consider it 'good cuisine' if it tried to bite you in the flank before you caught it?"

"And they still wouldn't recognize it!"

"He-hem!"

Autumn and Geralt looked over to see the unicorn teen glaring at both of them, tapping her hoof impatiently. "Boss, while I'm sure this is a touching reunion for you and your friend of strange tastes, could you please tell her to get out from behind the counter? You're causing a scene." Sure enough, every pony in the Hayburger was staring at the gryphon and the fox-like mare roughhousing behind the counter of the restaurant.

"Oops." Autumn chuckled nervously before flying back onto the customer side of the counter. "Um, sorry about that. Um, anyway, how much for that meal."

"On the house!" Geralt replied, ignoring the unicorn's glare. "Been a long time since I've been able to treat you."

"Boss, she ordered five Specials, six fries, and a drink. She would have gotten three if we didn't offer free refills."

Geralt's grin fell, his eyes turning to the filly before moving back to Autumn. "That's it? What, you eat on the way over here or something?"

Autumn laughed at the filly's flabbergasted expression. "Just a cupcake that a strange pink pony offered me. Filled me up enough to knock a few servings out of my usual order."

"Ah. Pinkie." Geralt nodded. "Well, still on the house then. I'll go get started on that and let you and Amy here get acquainted. You'll probably be seeing quite a bit of each other." He turned around, pushing the door to the kitchen open again. "Catch you later, Autumn," he said as the door closed.

"Autumn?" The unicorn's eyes widened as they turned back to the pegasus. "Wait a minute. You're Autumn Breeze?"

"Last time I checked," Autumn replied. "And your name is Amy?"

"Amethyst," the unicorn corrected, shaking her head. "Figures that Mom's hired help would be another weirdo for this town."

"You're Ditzy's daughter?" Autumn asked. "Hey, small world!"

"Small town, more like." Amethyst walked to the side of the counter, lifting a folding section to walk through to Autumn's side. "Well, I did say I was about to take my break. Might as well get to know Mom's new coworker."

"Gee," Autumn snarked, following Amethyst to an empty table. "No need to be so enthusiastic. Not like we're going to be seeing a lot of each other or anything."

"Just calling it like it is." Amethyst sat down, groaning as she relaxed. "Oh, that feels good. You pegasi have it lucky. You have no idea what it's like to have to be on your hooves all day."

"Heat to break it to you kid," Autumn said, sitting across the table from her, "but my wings get just as tired as your legs. So, what can you tell me about this town?"

Amethyst shrugged, looking out the window. "Honestly, not much to tell. It's pretty small; everypony knows pretty much everypony else. You'll get a lot of attention these next few days just for being a new face." Her eyes turned back to Autumn, looking her up and down. "Not that that's new for you, I'm sure."

Autumn smirked, her tail twitching. "I do tend to draw a lot of stares, yes. How long do you think before I'm just "another weirdo?"

"Eh, not too long," Amethyst replied. "I mean, Discord lives here and our librarian recently turned into an alicorn, so we're pretty used to weird stuff. you'll be a standard feature within a week, especially since your job takes you all around town."

"I'm... sorry," Autumn said, stiffening where she sat. "Did you just say that Discord lives here? As in, Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony? The Mad Trickster? The Bane of Sanity? He Whose Very Existence is a Giant Middle Finger to Reality?"

"Sounds about right." Amethyst raised an eyebrow. "Though, I have no idea what that last one means."

"Gryphon thing." The two mares looked over to see Geralt walking over, a large tray balanced across his back. "'Giving the middle finger' is an obscene gesture. Basically means-"

"Not very nice things that shouldn't be repeated in public!" Autumn interrupted, baring her fangs at Geralt. The gryphon shrugged before deftly sliding the tray onto the table and walking back to the kitchen. "Sorry about that," Autumn apologized. "Not sure how your mom would like it if your first meeting with me involved you learning another culture's profanity."

"It's fine," Amethyst said, eyeing the contents of the tray warily. "She's pretty cool about that kind of thing as long as Dinky doesn't get exposed to it." She leaned over and sniffed the tray before swiftly recoiling back, face scrunched in disgust. "So, you're really going to eat all of that, huh?"

Autumn looked down at her meal, licking her lips as the delicious smell hit her nostrils. Alongside the six fry orders and extra-large drink sat five sandwiches filled with tantalizing meat. Autumn took a deep sniff, shivering in euphoria. "Oooooh yeah. It's been too long since I've had a meal that smelled this good. I tell you, it's hard to find squirrel burgers in Equestria."

"I wonder why?" Amethyst muttered.

Autumn reached down with a wing, picking up the burger and bringing it to her lips. She opened her mouth wide, showing off her overly-large canines, before chomping down on her sandwich. She moaned as the taste hit her tongue, chewing slowly before swallowing the huge bite. "Sweet Harmony, I've missed this."

"Holy crap," Amethyst whispered, staring in fascinated horror as Autumn devoured the next few burgers, stopping only for quick sips of her drink or to drop an entire container of fries into her gaping maw. Within five minutes, the tray was empty of all but a few crumbs and a single burger.

"Ah, that hit the spot," Autumn sighed, leaning back and patting her belly. "I'm going to get fat, eating like this." She picked up the last sandwich, offering it to Amethyst. "You want to try it?"

Amethyst paled immediately, vehemently shaking her head. "I'm good! Not hungry!" Autumn shrugged before tossing it in the air, catching it in her mouth and devouring it in seconds. "Merciful Luna, how did you eat all of that?"

"Really fast metabolism," Autumn answered, hiding a burp behind her wing and getting to her hooves. "Guess it's about time to meet your mom. I guess I'll see you around. Hey Geralt!" she shouted. "Thanks for the meal!" And then, uncaring of the stares all around her, she walked out of Hayburger and onto the streets.

Amethyst stared after her for a few moments, a single thought on her mind.

Did she say meet Mom, or eat Mom?

Author's Note:

Here it is, folks. The first chapter of my latest story. I expected to get to Autumn's meeting with Ditzy before finishing, but the squirrel burger idea hopped into my head and it seemed the perfect way to introduce Autumn to Amethyst. She might be having second thoughts about living under the same roof. Oh well. Too late now, Amy.

Next chapter should be out within the week. Artwork is by the talented scynexx. Look her up. She's got some great stuff.