Griffon the Heave-ho

by CrowMagnon

Part 13 - Coffee Break

Griffon the Heave-ho
by CrowMagnon

The philosophy of a 'warrior race' is one in which honor and glory are to be found on the battlefield, and to die in battle is the greatest honor of all. The downfall of such a philosophy comes when it is brought to its logical conclusion. For those who believe that glory can only be found in war, war must be created when it does not naturally exist. For those who see death by one's enemies as the best way to end one's life, self-destruction becomes necessary to attain honor.

This was the tragic fate of the capricorn and peryton civilizations, both of which were known and feared throughout the realm as warriors without equal. When the Dalk Lord Arlok made his presence known within our realm, they were the first to send their mighty armies to halt Arlok's incursion. So overwhelming was their strength and so righteous was their cause that there was no doubt that victory would be swift.

Tragically, it was their ability to rally the majority of their population to war against Arlok which led to their extinction. The Dalk Lord's army of chaos swept across the realm, ravaging whichever lands they touched with such senseless brutality that the very fabric of reality began to unravel. Against such a obviously existential threat, there were very few among the capricorns and perytons who possessed both the ability to fight, and the capacity bear standing by with the knowledge that others would be meeting the enemy on the front lines.

So eager were they to defeat the enemy at their doorstep that few thought to question the origin of Arlok's forces.

By all existing accounts, both races fought hard and fought well, with five of Arlok's beasts slain for every fallen defender. Victory seemed assured. As it turned out, however, the Dalk Lord was using his own forces as expendable pawns to seek out the leaders and greatest warriors of the opposing armies. In the case of both races, who valued personal strength and honor in their rulers, these were one and the same. Lord Tydal of the capricorns and Polar Vortex of the perytons each led their armies from the front, slaying numerous invaders.

Martial strength did not protect either of them, however, when the Dalk Lord sought them out from the shadows and struck them with his insidious magicks. Along with their strongest cohorts, the leaders of the defending armies were corrupted by Arlok's dark spells into twisted, perverted abominations trapped in the Dalk Lord's thrall. These once-noble warriors quickly set upon their own former subordinates, throwing the lower ranks into chaos and despair as Arlok continued to turn the tide. Those who survived the ensuing slaughter long enough to draw Arlok's attention found themselves transformed against their wills to join his armies.

Such was the fate which nearly befell the griffons, but for the fractious nature of the clans which existed in a state of perpetual skirmishing with one another. Individual clans fell swiftly to Arlok's advance, but their refusal to join under a single banner prevented their entire race from falling at once. Even so, it was only a matter of time before this would have occurred if they had not finally unified and adopted the strategies which allowed the griffon race to survive. Ironically, it was the clan most notorious for pride in the strength of their warriors which slowed the previously unstoppable juggernaut of Arlok's forces by--

"Excuse me, young lady," an unfamiliar male voice spoke up, pulling Pinkamena out of her reading. She tilted her head up to see a bearded grey griffon with spectacles that gave him a somewhat owlish appearance as he smiled down at her. "I apologize for interrupting your reading, but could I trouble you for just a moment?"

Pinkamena marked her place and closed her book shut. "Of course. I'm sorry, I didn't hear the bell ring. My name is Pinkamena, and I'll be your barrista. Would you like some coffee, and maybe a small snack to go with it?"

"That would be delightful, Miss Pie, but I'm actually looking for a relative of mine, and it's likely that she came by here." When Pinkamena narrowed her eyes suspiciously at the use of her last name, the griffon chuckled and explained, "It shouldn't be that much of a surprise, Miss Pie. We do get newspapers over in the Empire, you know. I, for one, can't thank you and your friends enough for facing that Eclipse monster."

Pinkamena's look softened, or at least flattened as she nodded to the griffon. "Oh, of course. I'm sorry for being apprehensive, it's just that..."

The griffon grinned in understanding and sat down across the table from her. "For the ponies of Equestria, the so-called 'herd mentality' manifests itself as an instinctive desire for safety in numbers, and bonds of community that are stronger than those found in most other races. To many other creatures, particularly to those of a more aggressive temperament, ponies may seem timid and standoffish as a whole, while those few who demonstrate the greatest bravery do so as a bulwark standing between their more skittish brethren and those perceived as being threatening outsiders."

After finishing his recitation, the griffon pointed a talon down at the book on the table. "Fuzzy Thinker's work may not be as popular in the Empire as it is here, but it does have a bit of a following in diplomatic circles." He glanced around and saw the lack of customers inside at the moment, then proposed, "You know, if it isn't too much trouble, perhaps we could chat a bit."

"Ohhh, you're a diplomat from that envoy we saw pass overhead a while ago? Sure, I'd like that," Pinkamena replied. She reached up under her beret and pulled out a notepad as well as, surprisingly, a quill pen with a nub that was wet with ink. Holding the pad in her hooves, she asked around the feather in her mouth, "But don't you have a relative to find, mister...?"

"Grigori, but you can call me 'Greg' for short, if you like." the griffon replied warmly. "And it's no rush. She's been looking forward to visiting Ponyville for several months now. I'm sure that she's having a wonderful time in your lovely town."

"... Really?" Pinkamena quizzically cocked her head, then shrugged. "I see. For a moment, I thought I might know who you were talking about, but the only other griffon I've seen today didn't seem like she enjoyed being here."

-----

As much as she didn't want to be, Gilda was having the time of her life.

Together, she and Rainbow Dash had pranked a swath across Ponyville. Through a combination of plants from the Everfree, a pouch full of powder that Dash seemed to be able to control in ways that completely baffled Gilda, and Gilda's own knack for thunder magic, the two of them had practically turned the town upside-down, laughing the whole while.

But behind the laughter, Gilda was growing increasingly frustrated. At first, she'd relented to join in on Dash's fun because she figured that it would be a good way to make ponies furious. Instead, no matter what they pulled, once the initial surprise of the prank was over, ther 'victims' had started laughing with them instead of breaking out the torches and pitchforks.

Even when she'd pranked that hot-headed dweeb... what was her name? Sunspot? Gilda had been fully expecting to kick off round two of their fight when she'd pretended to apologize, only to hide a miniature thundercloud in her talons when she reached out to shake the Ranger's hoof. Instead, after looking like she was going to go at it with Gilda again, Rainbow Dash told Sunbeam that it was all her idea, and the two pegasi had started cracking up like old buddies.

Which led them to where they were at the moment, getting set to cap off their pranking spree with Queen Uptightius Maximus herself. They had caught Lt. Sparkle on her way back to the Ranger's outpost with her saddlebags full of papers. Rainbow Dash distracted the unicorn by making small talk while Gilda was at her other side, a sheaf of blank paper hidden under her wing.

Rainbow Dash got Twilight's attention by gabbing on and on about something that threatened to put Gilda to sleep... Seasonal animal migration or something. Whatever it was, it was doing the trick, and Gilda was able to stealthily swap out the forms for the blank pages.

Gilda smirked as she got away with it, tucking the paperwork out of sight under her wing. She could just imagine the look on the unicorn's face, and imagine how mad she'd be when she opened her saddlebags, just to find all her work gone.

But then Gilda imagined how it would go after that. Rainbow Dash would pull out the real papers and hoof them back over to Twilight. The unicorn would probably give Dash a speech about not pulling tricks like that, but she'd be so relieved that they'd make up immediately. And then one of them would say something about how Dash and Gilda were such good friends, and they'd keep insisting on her being at that stupid welcome party, and they'd all forgive her and go on and on about how they were all best buddies, even though it'd all be a big fat stinking LIE!

Gilda let out a squawk of frustration, startling the ponies as they turned to look at her. "You okay, G?" Dash asked.

How can you even ask that, you moron?! Gilda thought. But what she said through clenched teeth was, "My wings just keep wanting to stretch out. Seriously, is this what it's like to be you? If I couldn't fly anymore, I'd kill myself!"

Dash winced, and Twilight shot an angry glare Gilda's way, but Dash quickly covered it up with that fake cheer she'd had ever since Gilda showed up. "What can I say? I've still got too much awesomeness to share with the world," she replied, shrugging it off. It made Gilda's guts twist, and she was so distracted by the surge of anger that welled up inside her that she almost didn't notice she was walking close enough to the edge of a small creek that one misstep would send her sliding into the water.

She almost didn't notice it, but she did. Just as she remembered that she was carrying papers that Twilight had probably been working on for hours. And that even if the current didn't carry them all away before the ponies got them back, they'd be way too soggy for the Ranger to use.

"Whoops!" Gilda exclaimed as she 'slipped' on a patch of wet ground, and sent herself tipping over into the water.

Comments

[defender2222]

Tydal: They still believe that?

Polar: Well, brother, it is more dramatic than what really happened. I mean, how many epic tales can be sung about us getting bored and deciding to go down the Tartarus to compete in Cerberus' Drinking Contest! Ha!

Tydal: Three, that I know of.

Polar: And we aren't even done!

Seriously though, very nice work.

[djthomp]

Holy crap, so that's what happened to Tydal in this version of the 'verse?

Hah! I was wondering if that was Grigori.

Also, is that an italics derp at the end of the chapter or is the last bit just in Gilda's head?

[CrowMagnon]

4970401
4970505

Yep, though while the book does get the general gist right, it was written over a thousand years after the actual events, so a lot of the detail has been lost over the years.

Or to put it another way, I want to leave it open to the reader's imagination that even though the end result was an absolute tragedy for them, Tydal and Polar Vortex didn't just get worfed like a couple of chumps.

As for the italics, yeah, that was a on my part. Fixed now.

[RanmaChaos]

Good

[Glazius]

So Gilda's... basically got a deathwish? Is that how this is shaking out?

[CrowMagnon]

4973348 In a manner of speaking, you could say that. Stay tuned for further details!

[Crack-Fic Casey]

Of course!
The griffons have something in mind for Ponyville. Gilda wasn't Dash to be safe, so she's trying to get her to leave.
I should have seen it before; Gilda isn't a jerk, (much) she's outright trying to make the others dislike her. She's trying to be a good friend.

[Lorthalis of Crows]

4975174
It would explain why th emperor is deliberately antagonizing everyone.

[ZealousChristian24]

This was the tragic fate of the capricorn and peryton civilizations

No, No, No..

the leaders of the defending armies were corrupted by Arlok's dark spells into twisted, perverted abominations trapped in the Dalk Lord's thrall.

... Pray that Seafoam or Tydal do not ask what Capricorns are like in Captain Sparkle's world.

On another note, is it supposed to be spelled Dalk Lord?

"Grigori, but you can call me 'Greg' for short, if you like."

Huh, thought it would have been Fuzzy himself, though if she was reading aloud, that would make things awkward.

... WAIT A DARN SECOND! If he's here, then who's negotiating?!

[Razzy]

Huh, it keeps getting curiouser and curiouser...

Something's afoot... It's like Gilda is trying to pull Dash away from there. And how is Grigori everywhere at the sane time?

Cya
Raziel-chan