Rainbow Dash, Power Pony alias "Zapp," lives to save the day and keep citizens free from tyranny. But when she unknowingly falls for one of her arch-enemies, can she salvage the situation? Or will her divided loyalties cost her everything?
Both High Heel and the League of Villiany are real, and not made up by you? And yes, League of Villiany is rather...generic. I would have chosen Sinful Six myself...
I felt that, but I was determined this chapter would be up today. I blame not re-reading enough cheesy material so that the florid prose seeps into my brain. I need to bust out some old comics again before I start work on the next chapter.
No, High Heel is not Fluer-de-lis. I may have skipped it in my description, but High Heel is an Earth pony with a white coat, red mane, and yellow eyes. Fluer-de-lis is a white unicorn with a pink mane and pink eyes. Also, PIPE DOWN. You'll get your hypnosis next chapter.
Yes, they're real and not made up by me. But League of Villainy is canon and generic, so I wanted to refer them by their canon at least once - just once - before I began referring to them by a different, original moniker, so it would be clear that I was referring to the League of Villainy (canon) when I said, in this case, "Sinful Six" (fanon). They'll be called the Sinful Six from now.
Umm how is Rainbow not being there her own fault? How could she have know? None of the others tried to contact her or anything? They all knew she had a date. Not exactly fair to blame her like that.
So, Twilight, you're saying that just two of those "Sinful Six" took out five of your group? And you weren't even lacking your self-proclaimed leader? That doesn't exactly sound like Rainbow's fault there.
I do like the story so far, though maybe a little too much corny similes. I'll just assume it's supposed to be Rainbow being dorky and in love.
Both High Heel and the League of Villiany are real, and not made up by you? And yes, League of Villiany is rather...generic. I would have chosen Sinful Six myself...
So is High Heel supposed to be Fleur de Lis? Also. Whens my hypnosis coming???
The cheesy narration is on and off. Some lines are good, but it's often just not there.
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I felt that, but I was determined this chapter would be up today. I blame not re-reading enough cheesy material so that the florid prose seeps into my brain. I need to bust out some old comics again before I start work on the next chapter.
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No, High Heel is not Fluer-de-lis. I may have skipped it in my description, but High Heel is an Earth pony with a white coat, red mane, and yellow eyes. Fluer-de-lis is a white unicorn with a pink mane and pink eyes.
Also, PIPE DOWN. You'll get your hypnosis next chapter.
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Yes, they're real and not made up by me. But League of Villainy is canon and generic, so I wanted to refer them by their canon at least once - just once - before I began referring to them by a different, original moniker, so it would be clear that I was referring to the League of Villainy (canon) when I said, in this case, "Sinful Six" (fanon). They'll be called the Sinful Six from now.
5179306 yaaaaaaaaa
5179306 Mmm. I have more questions, but I suspect I will get my answers in later chapters.
I regret not reading this sooner... Curse my procrastination, CURSE IT!
Umm how is Rainbow not being there her own fault? How could she have know? None of the others tried to contact her or anything? They all knew she had a date. Not exactly fair to blame her like that.
You misspelled blurry after image (blurryl afterimage) and there are some grammatical errors.
So, Twilight, you're saying that just two of those "Sinful Six" took out five of your group? And you weren't even lacking your self-proclaimed leader? That doesn't exactly sound like Rainbow's fault there.
I do like the story so far, though maybe a little too much corny similes. I'll just assume it's supposed to be Rainbow being dorky and in love.