All Hail the Crazy Psycho Pony!
"Welcome back to Detective Scootaloo's Adventures! Soon, we'll be changing the name to Queen Scootaloo's Adventures! I am now reporting from a secret location because silly Princess Celestia wants to put me in a mental asylum. I'M NEVER GOING TO THE ASYLUM!" Scootaloo shrilled, glaring at the camera.
Scootaloo had dressed up for the part as well. She had made a fake horn and taped it to her head. She was wearing a plastic crown. She was wearing shoes. Diamond Tiara was dressed exactly the same. They were posing as Celestia and Luna, as Scootaloo had a sun taped over her crazy eyes cutie mark and Diamond Tiara had a moon taped over her tiara cutie mark.
The two had dressed up Silver Spoon as Cadance and a street cat like Twilight.
"Today, we will be visiting the Ponyville Elite, and find out their secrets! First up, Mayor Mare, the pink maned clown. What else does she have in stock for us?" Scootaloo hissed, her pupils dilating. "Wow, that snake potion from that book actually worked!"
Diamond Tiara sat in the corner, filing her hooves. She also had to hide out, since her parents were looking for her. And so was Princess Celestia. They hadn't filmed it, but after the events of the previous episode, the two fillies had let Discord rampage through Ponyville, telling him it was Fluttershy's idea.
And now Fluttershy was stuck tending to Discord's bunny-moose-beaver-daddy long legs animals. So naturally, they were in big trouble. Again.
"After our little visit to our dear pink maned Mayor, we will be visiting the Rich family! Wait, we'll be visiting the Rich family first. SILVER SPOON! THIS LIST MAKES NO SENSE!" Scootaloo yelled. Silver Spoon dashed over and flipped the paper over.
"Oh. Well, first, we get Diamond Tiara so drunk she spills all her secrets since that was what was supposed to happen last episode before our little...injury."
A little while later, Diamond Tiara had beyond drunk. Sh had had 27 bottles of Button Mash Apple Juice, and was deathly in need of subtitles. Luckily for her, Scootaloo had taken a course in the drunk language, Drunkish.
"GrklshjaklgdbviL!" "My mother is Queen Chrysalis! She's actually not a changeling, she just got plastic surgery!" Diamond said, swaying back and forth dangerously.
Scootaloo quickly wrote it down. Other than that, most of Diamond's secrets were pretty lame. She did wet herself once or twice when she was 6. That happened. But then came the question every young filly wanted to know about their so called leader.
"Afleblabjk." Diamond admitted, causing Scootaloo to faint. Even Silver Spoon, Diamond's best friend didn't know that secret. Because Diamond Tiara was secretly in love with...
"We'll be back after the break!" Diamond shrieked, slamming into the camera.
The remainder of the Mane 6, now the Mane 4, sat in the castle lounge, watching Scootaloo's show. Apparently, when the secrets weren't theirs, the show was actually pretty funny. They had installed a giant TV out front, too, and the population of Ponyville except for Rainbow Dash and Applejack were all watching to make sure they weren't the ones being embarrassed all over Equestria.
"Ah really wish Ah knew who that Diamond Tiara was talkin' 'bout!" Apple Bloom sighed, taking a seat next to Sweetie Belle. "Would've been good for the Gabby Gums newspaper."
"We're now back with Queen Scootaloo's Adventures! We are now moving on to finding out Mayor Mare's secrets! And since we got Mr. Rich to install high tech cameras everywhere, we found out ever Mayor Mare is crowded outside Twilight's castle watching this! And since Twilight is now the Princess of Ponyville, aka the Friendship Kingdom, Mayor Mare is just...Mare!"
Scootaloo taped cameras all over herself and bounced off towards Mare's house, racing Mare herself. Scootaloo got there first.
The whole of Ponyville watched as Scootaloo showed them Mare's birth certificate. A gasp ran out of everypony's mouth, chorusing through the town. And then Pinkie Pie deflated.
"Mare's real name is...Marble Pie? OH MY CELESTIA! She's Pinkie Pie's long lost sister! That's why her hair is pink!" Scootaloo squealed, pocketing the rest of Marble's documents before dashing out the door away from the guards pursuing her.
"Get her!" Celestia yelled. "Luna, you got the other side?" Celestia whispered into a walkie talkie.
"Copy that. Cadance?" Luna answered. Sure enough Cadance was on the right of Scootaloo, with Twilight on her left.
"Call in Plan B, Alicorn Attack!" Celestia yelled, giving a very realistic battle cry. The four alicorns surrounded Scootaloo, who was still wearing her alicorn disguise. Diamond Tiara was no where to be seen.
"You are coming with us to be sent to an insane asylum for the following reasons." Celestia cleared her throat. "Invading privacy, causing mass destruction, making ponies go crazy, talking about Rainbow Dash obsessively, finding a way to somehow hack into NEWT and put in you crazy little show, and causing both Rainbow Dash and Applejack to go into hiding!"
"BOW DOWN TO ME! I am the all powerful Scootaloo! Princess of Detective-ology!" Scootaloo replied, once again doing her crazy laugh.
Luna then sneaked behind the crazy filly and knocked her unconscious.
"This will not return after the break." Cadance said into the camera.
Pinkie Pie, completely deflated, stared at the TV. Twilight, Fluttershy and Rarity all crowded around her waiting for a response. Strangely enough, despite the princess' orders, somehow the exclusive clip got out. It was about Pinkie Pie.
"I'm going to hide and never ever come out of my room ever again." Pinkie said, joining Applejack and Rainbow Dash in the Chamber of Embarrassed beyond compare Ponies. Twilight sighed, and went to give Derpy a call. Pinkie most likely would also need pizza delivered.
"I have to say, the clip was kind of funny." Twilight admitted giggling. It was a video of Pinkie making out with a cake, whom she had named Cake Ramorray*.
"Is it weird in the slightest so far the only ponies who refuse to come out of their rooms are all part of the Mane 6?" Rarity questioned, noticing the pattern.
"No, I'm sure it's nothing." Twilight smiled bright heartedly.
Scootaloo, now trapped in an insane asylum, smiled wickedly. Then she laughed. And laughed. And laughed. Things were all up to Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon now. She was positive their little plan would go accordingly.
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4676319
No. Not really. Not to the point where a pony gets injured, and is sued for getting injured. That makes that argument sound stupid. No offence.
But if that "ran on happiness" arguement was accurate. Then AJ, RD, Granny Smith, and all those mentally scarred in CH.1 and 2. Need to be sued, arrested, and thrown in a mental hospital for not being happy / their mental trauma.
I'm personally going to need 4672238 to reply to 4673024 before I read chapter 3 because seriously. There's comedy like Ch.1, and then there's stuff that litterally makes no sense. Up to the whole sued by Celestia thing. It was mediocre, but interesting enough. But nothing happened in that chapter other than Scoots, Deets, and Silvy getting injured by Ditzy dropping cargo on them, and could be a lead up to the next chapter.
4677771 Well, since both Diamond Tiara and Scootaloo were injured, Filthy Rich would sue Scootaloo. And since they also forced Silver Spoon to sign a contract against her will, plus in the previous episode creeped out Rainbow Dash. So Derpy's a hero.
I did realize how bad that explanation sounded, so I added a little more in C.3. Quite frankly, I'm running out of ideas, which is why I put up the competition every chapter.
4681038
Now Filthy Rich sounds logical. But not Celestia, that was my only logical gripe [should probably change that]. I'll be reading chapter 3 tomorrow. Thanks for the reply and I agree, Derpy was a hero crashing into Scoots.
4681063
Read this chapter now. It was much better than CH2, but as good as #1. I'm going to enjoy reading the next chapter. I wonder if her madness lets her accidentally learn how to do Pinkie Pie reality warping.