Non-Canon: Rarity's Secret
"Thanks for inviting me over to tea Rarity" I say as I walk into the door of Carousel Boutique, Rarity right behind me.
"Oh, it's no problem dear. I feel like we should get to know each other better. After all, I feel like we can be good friends. You seem nice," Rarity says, she guides me to a chair.
"Thanks, you do too," I take a seat and she leaves to prepare the tea.
"But I'm sure you know all about me, what with this... show?" She asks from the kitchen.
"Yeah, it's a show designed for little girls. fillies, really. It's watched by a much wider audience though. Really though, there's no guarantee how accurate it is. Nyx is here, which didn't happen in the show. There's no telling what about who is true," I tell her.
"I see. A show for children? So there aren't any adult topics, like the death of a loved one?" She asks.
"Nope." I tell her.
"So we retain more of our privacy than the other two made it seem like." Rarity says.
"I don't know what they said, but probably." I tell her. Rarity brings in the tea and I take a sip, it tastes wonderful. "This tea is wonderful, Rarity. Thank you." I tell her.
"Think nothing of it, darling. Now, what do you want to talk about first?" She asks.
"I don't know... do you have any hobbies, maybe play an instrument, the piano maybe?" I ask, my thoughts moving to the Equestria girls short where Rarity played the piano. I look at Rarity and she seems irked by what I've said, I just look at her curiously.
"I know how to play the piano, but I don't usually." She replies slowly, watching me carefully as she enunciates her words.
"Well I'd love to hear you play sometime." I tell her, I smile at her. She relaxes and smiles back, the tension she had for whatever reason is gone.
"Well, what about you? Do you play any instruments?" She asks.
"I don't know. Before, I couldn't even play the spoons, now I seem to have tons of musical talent." I try not to think of the constant tune playing in my head.
"Before? So you didn't always used to be as you are. How different are you?" Rarity asks.
"I'm not sure... I clearly remember some things, but some things about this new me are becoming natural... I can't even remember what I used to look like," I admit somewhat sullenly.
"Oh dear, that does seem like a conundrum. But, you didn't always looked like this?" Rarity asks curiously.
"Nope. Sorry, but I'm not all that sure about a lot of things. So I might not be able to give a good answer to a lot of questions you might have," I apologize.
"That's quite alright. Can you tell me what you remember about your hobbies?" Rarity compromises.
"I was decent at drawing, and I would say I was pretty good at voice acting. Really though, my true talent was writing. At least I'd like to think so, I'd like to think I can still spin a tale just as good. But I can't remember how good I used to be, I just know I thought it was what I was best at." I say.
"Are you telling me you forgot your special talent?" Rarity gasps.
"Not really, I still have the urge to write. It's just that the urge is dulled, it's drowned out by the need for music. I never was good at making music, I wanted to, but I wasn't ever good at it. So it's not so much I forgot what my talent was, I've just forgotten why it was my special talent." I reply half-heartedly, I can't bring myself to think it's a big deal.
"That's horrid! I can't imagine what I'd do if I forgot why I had my talent!" Rarity says.
"Why three?" I mutter to myself absently.
"What's that, darling?" Rarity asks.
"Oh, I was just thinking about your cutie mark. I was wondering why there were three diamonds. It was just an idle thought really. I guess there just doesn't have to be a reason why there's three, just that it's a cutie mark and there's usually a reason to them. If I had to garner a guess, Applejacks three apples would represent Granny Smith, Big Mac, and Apple Bloom. Pinkies, her three sisters. But, I can't think of a reason for Fluttershy's three butterflies. Or Twilights stars for that matter. Does the three represent three ponies close to you?" Rarity is gaping at me, and I can't think why. She seems really shocked at my deduction, guess she just never thought of it before.
"No, I don't believe so," Rarity finally answers, I just shrug.
"Ok, just a thought." I take another sip of my tea.
"So, did you have family?" Rarity asks.
"Uh... yeah, I think I did... five siblings, but I can't remember most of their names. I know three of them were step siblings, two girls and one boy. I remember my biological brother, his name was corbin. The face eludes me..." I say, struggling to remember the tiniest of details.
"Oh dear, you're forgetting more and more. This could be getting pretty bad..." Rarity says nervously. "I could try to cast a memory spell," Rarity offers.
"You know a memory spell?" I ponder this.
"Yes, I got it from Twilight to help Sweetie Belle with remembering facts for a test," Rarity tells me, suddenly a thought comes to my mind. I brush it away because of the ridiculousness of it. But it does leave a suspicion in my mind.
"No, it's not that I don't trust you Rarity. It's just that we won't know if it fails, and it might speed up the process. I don't want to risk it," Rarity flinches at my words, but nods in understanding.
"I understand. You seem to have a good knowledge of magic, may I ask why?" Rarity asks.
"I just... get this stuff." I say, decidedly leaving out choice connections between harmony and magic that I don't care to explain at the moment. "Maybe it's my talent, maybe I can follow in Trixies hoofsteps. Since I lack actual magic, stage magic could be perfect." I chuckle at the thought. "Remember the poison joke incident? What did Pride call herself? The lively and lovely Luka? Maybe I should use that... speaking of Trixie, where is she? Have you heard anything from her since the last time?" I ask, Rarity looks at me oddly.
"Last time we saw her, it was in bad taste. Why would we follow where she is?" Rarity asks.
"Well, she apologized. And she helped Twilight. Twilight was at least attempting, I thought that she maybe came by every once in a while. I never particularly liked big egos, but I had a soft spot for the travelling magician..." I linger on the thought for a while as Rarity digests this.
"The last time anypony saw her was after the Ursa Major attack, and she ran." Rarity clarifies, I stop at this.
"What? She never tried to take over Ponyville?" I ask.
"No, that never happened." Rarity says.
"Huh, differing timelines... so then, what happened to Trixie? An interference with point A to point B... anything could have happened." I deduce, then that same foolish thought pops into my head, I try to brush it off. I hesitate and decide to lay this to rest. "Hey, Rarity? Do you know if Trixie had any family?" I ask her. She fidgets and then answers.
"No, she didn't tell us much about herself." Rarity answers, I just nod in reply. Somethings off, with Rarity. I get up from the chair and scan the room with my eyes, I find a door that more than likely leads to a storage closet. I sit back down and try to think of a way to get to it casually. I decide to try more questions first.
"So, your sister Sweetie Belle is a handful, isn't she? Along with her three little friends." I comment.
"Oh yes, but I love her dearly. She may be a little... enthusiastic, for my tastes though." She answers.
"Yeah... there was always one thing never touched on in the show, but I don't want to be rude... you see, I was just wondering about Scootaloo's parents...?" Rarity tenses almost unnoticeably.
"She hasn't any. They gave her up to the orphanage when she was little because they couldn't take care of her," Rarity answers stiffly.
"And what would you know about that?" I ask.
Her eyes grow wide and narrow as I ask that, "why do you suspect I know more?" Rarity asks.
"I don't, I was just wondering if you did." I shrug, Rarity sighs and takes another sip.
"I'm gonna use the restroom, is that alright?" I ask.
"Yes, darling. That's fine," Rarity answers half-heartedly. I walk over to the storage closet and I stop at the door. Whatever I find on the other side will change everything, or not if I play my cards right. I take a breath and steel my resolve, I turn the knob.
Behind the door is a piano, against the back wall. My mind rushes to fill in the blanks, I was right. I stop for a second and then calm down for one second, just because she owns a piano doesn't mean what I think it means.
"Oh, Rarity! You have a piano! I always admired the piano. A picture of refinement, and sophistication. Rarity rushes over to me and she is clearly sweating. The simple tone of piano keys runs through my mind and I play the tune I know opens the door slowly. The room becomes deathly quiet as the last key plays. For a split second, I imagine it doing nothing and me feeling like an idiot. But, much to my fear, the wall opens. I sigh and look at the hidden door, I close it gently. That's all the confirmation I need.
Rarity has a wide eyed look of fear, then relief when I close the door. I walk back to the seat and take a long sip of my tea, I stare solemnly at the table in deep thought. Rarity sits back down too, eyeing me closely.
"You aren't curious about the door?" She asks in astonishment. I look up at her, thinking of an answer.
"You and I both know what I'm going to find if I go down there. I don't need to actually see it. The tray, the poster, the pelts, everything..." I say absently. Rarity freezes in terror.
"You know? How could you know... you said it was a kids show! They wouldn't put my hobby in a show for colts and fillies! How do you know?!" Rarity screams.
"It wasn't on the show. It was in a story. I know it all, up to a point. The thing that differentiates here and the story," I sigh, not looking at Rarity. The music in my head is playing a haunting refrain in my subconscious, it doesn't help me think.
"All of it...?" She mutters, I barely notice her horn glowing.
"Pretty much. The three bullies. Scootaloo's parents. Trixie and her parents..." I say, watching her float a syringe, I sigh at her lack of subtlety.
"So, then you know what has to happen." Rarity says with finality
"Yeah, you're going to let me go." I tell her, she composes herself.
"I'm afraid not. You see, I can't allow my secret to get out." Rarity says, preparing the syringe.
"And it won't. Now, let's talk this out like adults." I offer, Rarity ignores me and lunges with the syringe. I move out of the way nimbly and swing a fist at her horn, making her drop the syringe. I quickly take it and jab it into her thigh, releasing the injection into her. She gasps and I tsk at my actions, and hers.
"What to do Skylar, you have a serial killer at your feet." I look down at Rarity and then at the knives. A hint of curiosity at Rarity's hobby hits me, I suppress the urge. I sigh and pick up Rarity.
~
Rarity wakes up and looks around her at the darkness, a surge of familiarity hits her. She thinks on how it must feel for one of her victims to wake in darkness, and any second the lights will turn on and reveal her tormentor. Rarity waits and waits, but the lights never come, then she realizes some important facts. She's not bound and she has her horn. Rarity lights up her horn and recognizes that she's in her room, lying on her bed.
`It was all just a terrible dream,` she sighs. Then she notices more things, it's around noon and she's not wearing her pajamas. The lack of pajamas indicates that she had been awake earlier and fallen asleep suddenly, and the fact that its noon means that she fell asleep not that long ago. Rarity looks at her nightstand and finds an empty syringe, which can only mean one thing. Her secret is out. The horrible secret she's managed to keep all this time is going to be revealed. There's a note underneath the syringe, Rarity picks it up shakily.
"Come over to Twilights," Rarity reads the note out loud and she hangs her head in defeat. Her secret is finally going to get out. She was barely able to suppress it with a memory spell until now, but Twilights going to remember it all. Rarity gets ready shakily and unenthusiastically walks to Twilights. She pauses at the door, contemplating skipping town
"No, Rarity, that's foalish. They will catch you in no time at all," Rarity takes a few minutes to steel her resolve and opens the door.
"Rarity! Hey, you made it sleepy head. Twilight! Rarity's here!" Luka greets Rarity enthusiastically, the action stuns Rarity.
"Rarity, glad you could make it. Luka told me how you were a little under the weather, so I arranged a spa trip for the three of us. That's fine, right?" Twilight cheers, Rarity just gapes at her. Rarity turns to Luka, who's also smiling happily. Almost as if she didn't know Rarity's secret, but she does. Rarity knows that she knows.
`What Kind of game are you playing at?` Rarity thinks irritatedly and nervously. If she hasn't told anypony yet, then she must be waiting for something. The only question is, what? "Yes, that's fine," Rarity answers cautiously, watching Luka for any sign of an ulterior motive. Surprisingly, Lukas happiness seems genuine.
"Great, let me just finish what I was doing in the other room. I'll be done in a sec," Twilight leaves Rarity and luka alone. Rarity drops her half-hearted smile as soon as Twilights out of sight and confronts Luka.
"What are you playing at?!" Rarity demands.
"What do you mean?" Luka tilts her head.
"You know what I'm talking about! I know you know! And you're going to tell, but why haven't you done it yet!?" Rarity hisses.
"Oh, this is about that?" Lukas smile falls, "I don't plan on telling. It's none of my business what you do," Luka shrugs.
"But... I tried to kill you," Rarity says incredulously.
"You were trying to protect yourself from a perceived threat, it was my fault really," I apologize.
"YOU were doing something wrong? I butcher ponies in my basement!" Rarity says, not quite believing what she's hearing. In all the years she's been doing this, this is the only time anypony has genuinely meant that they wouldn't tell.
"I understand. Besides, it would just make things hard for Sweetie Belle... everypony really. A score as high as yours is sure to leave a mark," Luka scoffs, Rarity just tries to process what's happening.
"No, you couldn't understand, you don't know what it's like to kill somepony," Rarity looks at her hooves dejectedly.
"The cool blade against a crimson stream as cries of terror fill the air and the smell of death permeates everything? The feeling of power found in having total control over a persons life? Just because I've never done it doesn't mean I don't know. I've honestly contemplated it, but I like to think that it isn't me." Luka replies.
"You...? You've thought about...? How... how did you feel about it?" Rarity asks in shock.
"It was appealing, very much so. But I try not to let it get to me..." I sigh. "You recall when I was split into seven, right? How they are a part of me? Their familiar, but I don't like to be like them. However appealing it was to break my fist on the wall, or trick Rainbow Dash. It still isn't me. Sure, there's the urge to be snarky to everyone. The urge to wallow in despair. The urge to torture someone. But they're subconscious urges, urges I'd have if I were someone else or if I think about it. Every once in awhile it will surface as an idle thought, but I ignore it. I'm afraid of who I can be, especially if I end up being a good person. I'm always changing, attempting to avoid... becoming anything.
"I avoid those thoughts, not because I don't want to turn out like that. But because I'm afraid of being aware of who I'm becoming. I feel that if I act on those urges, they're too predictable of identities and their responses are always based on one way of thinking. I am me, by fear. Being me means not acting on urges, not for moral reasons, but doing other than you expect for yourself. The day I surrender to... fate, The day I do what I expect of myself, is the day I am not me. Unfortunately, that image of me is so fractured that this promise is null and void until I figure out the technicalities..." Luka chuckles nervously.
"But acting on how you feel is how you be who you are! If you feel like I do, I could help you feel that way!" Rarity urges, excited at the prospect of a partner in crime.
"Rarity, there are two of everyone. Sometimes more than two. One is how you see yourself. Two is how others see you. I see myself as fragmented, ever-changing, and contradictory in nature. You see me as calm, collected, and helpful. I'm a people pleaser, a performer of sorts. I help others, and me not being a mess helps other people stay calm. I try not to act how I expect to act, I try to act how others expect me to act. If others think of me as the nice, peaceful, and collected human, then that's how they expect me to act. I act like that even if how I expect to act, and what my urges tell me about myself are very different.
"Occasionally, I'll bleed through... sometimes you'll see a glint of who I am, but you'll only see who I see if you look very hard through who you see." Luka finishes and looks lamely at Rarity, at a loss for what to say next. "Harmonic on the outside, Chaotic on the inside. When you look at both and you fear knowing what either entails... you start to grow suspicious of reality and how it works if you see yourself as an enigma in your own thoughts. That's where my paranoia stems. It's also why I see the 'unjaded' view of the world. It's the reason I'm in this stupid experiment..." Rarity thinks on this.
"That sounds like a terrible way to live..." Rarity says.
"I'm sure some ponies would say the same thing about your lifestyle. But now you know my secret, and I yours. Let's say we keep both of them between the Two of us," Luka smiles lightly and Rarity looks at her with a judging eye. Finally she loosens her stare and smiles back, accepting her offer.
"Ok, girls. I'm ready, are you?" Twilight says as she walks back into the room, she looks at both Luka and Rarity expectantly.
"We were waiting on you, Sparkle," Luka snickers, Rarity chuckles lightly.
"R-right. Well then, shall we?" Twilight says, her cheeks blushing a light crimson.
"We shall" Rarity answers, letting Twilight take the lead. The three friends walk out the castle and towards spa to spend some quality time together. Rarity looks over to Luka, contemplating all that was said. She has a good feeling for the future of their friendship.
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Ive been reading and i made a realization....Kamui is almost the exact opposite of Luka.... 0-0" chaotic outside harmonic inside. He sees all views but ignores for even if he sees the truth, people believe that which they want. He acts insane because he's broken mentally and emotionally. Kamui has killed people as well... if your wondering who, read the chapter about him singing and talking about his ex who was murdered mugged and raped in front of him.
Well, I act calm because im broken mentally and emotionally. Truth is not a single idea, or even a fact. Truth just is, it permeates beliefs and reality and even falsity. Truth isnt clean cut, its moldable. Changing, dependent on factors never the same at any crystallized moment. At least, thats what I think. Which me? Who knows. Also, I haven't killed people, just contemplation. Its one of those thoughts that you just think about people, what ifs. Some close, some not. I imagine if hes the opposite, he feels bad about doing it, though. So, its not really the same, just similar... and hus explaining why he Luka cant stand him, he's too much like herself. In a way.