• Member Since 17th Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen April 19th

Magpiepony


I'm a pegasister who just can't get enough pony magic in her life!

E

Trixie is tired of being the cast-off and the laughing stock of Equestria. When she gets her hooves on a rare spell, she finally has the means to seek her revenge on Princess Twilight. Switching their bodies, Trixie becomes an overbearing royal overlord who wants everything her way. In the meantime, Twilight is stuck in Trixie's body and the Mane 6 have all been scrambled. Twilight and her friends have to find the answers to this puzzling spell before Trixie ruins Equestria for everypony!

Chapters (11)
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Comments ( 94 )

During Astelle's little backstory thing, I couldn't help but think of the Sith rule of two. Also the story of Darth Plagueis the Wise.

It goes like this: Darth Plagueis was a Sith Lord. He was so wise and so powerful, he could influence the midichlorians to create life. He could even save people from dying. Eventually he became so powerful that the only thing he was afraid was losing his power. Which of course he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, and his apprentice killed him in his sleep.

Astelle is Darth Plagueis, the life/death influence is like Astelle's ability to add or take away wings and horns, and Celestia is the apprentice.

"You're a monster."
"Not anymore, I'm a princess."

If anything is right about this story, it is that line right there.

Shadowy giant figure of an alicorn...soooo..Celestia or creepy ghost-pony!

Comment posted by Soft Shell deleted Jul 19th, 2014

When's the next ep coming?

“Unless you’d rather be a chicken.” Applejack teased, implying that Rainbow wasn’t brave enough to handle this sort of task.

Remind you of anypony? Like elder sis, like younger sis!

Luna won't you cry for me
I'm as lonely as I've ever been :fluttershysad:
I am forced back into the start
Is there any way to fix a broken heart?:fluttercry:

I love the dramatic reading on youtube. I have also started to read part of the story.

Personally, I think 'the elament of mercy' would have worked better, but that's a minor nitpick in a great story.

...And yet, Trixie didn't get punished for all she did. Fuck it.

Hello! Welcome to Sunlight Blaze's FIMfiction Reviews! I'm Sunlight Blaze (duh!), coming from previous interests in this particular story on Youtube, now here to continue the review on FIMfiction!

To those of you new to the show, this is where I read through a story chapter by chapter, leaving commentary along the way at the end of each chapter (be it constructive criticism, satire, or just plain unnecessary jokes). After the commentary on the final chapter, I will leave a second comment detailing my overall opinion and critique of the story as a whole based on the following five criteria:
Story - The basis of the plot, and how well the story flows.
Writing - My grammar nazi side has kind of died down over time of reviewing, so I will only point out grammatical errors if they are recurring mistakes throughout the story. Other than that, this category pertains mainly to how well the characters stay true to their canon personalities.
Humor - Gotta have a few laughs along the way, right? I judge this based on quality over quantity; the better and stronger the humor, the better the score. I downgrade this category if the humor is just a bunch of weak jokes. Put simply: Make me laugh, and you got a good grade.
Moral/Message: Usually reserved for stories tagged "Slice of Life", if I find a moral of the story, I will grade it based on how applicable to real life it is, and how well the message is relayed in the story.
Ending: Every story needs to have a satisfying and conclusive ending, right? The more well-rounded the story's conclusion is, the better the grade.
All in all, it follows a similar pattern to Joshscorcher's MLP reviews on Youtube. If you haven't seen them...I have to wonder what rock you've been living under.

Now, this particular review is in a bit of an unorthodox situation, seeing as how I started my commentary for this story on Youtube. And from a quick skim of the first six chapters here, each episode seems to cover one chapter (which means you're about half-way done with the project on Youtube. Keep up the good work, by the way, Magpiepony!) So I'll be continuing my review here at chapter seven.

To see my commentary in full, start on Youtube with Episode 1. If you've already done so, them meet me at chapter seven!

Without further ado, let's get started!

Comment posted by Sunlight Blaze deleted Dec 19th, 2014

(WARNING: The following may contain sarcastic, serious, joking, thoughtful, or downright unnecessary commentary and/or Flutter-censored swearing. Viewer discretion is advised.)

Now, if I remember correctly, we left off with Rarity (in Pinkie Pie's body) and Fluttershy (in Applejack's body) running terrified from the shadow of that dark Alicorn.

We start this out with the evil one appearing in the main foyer of the castle, and everypony starts panicking, save for Luna, who starts fighting back, and we get a fight sequence. Let's put on some appropriate music:

Pinkie's tail, clear over on the other side of the room, began to twitch as the glass and debri scattered all around Pinkie who was still at the base of the monster. Princess Luna flew down and snatched Pinkie away before any of it could harm her. Once Luna had set Pinkie down, the alicorn figure threw itself over Luna consuming her in its shadowy darkness.
Luna screamed in surprise, disappearing into the dark heart of the creature.

Two things to say to this part:
1) :pinkiehappy: Hello, Pinkie Sense!!!
2) Uh oh.....Dis ain't good.....

So, it seems the creature is targeting Trixie, but Twilight manages to drive it away by using a Bright Light spell. When it doesn't return, they all immediately start hounding Trixie for answers. She professes that she doesn't know what's going on, and half the Mane Six don't believe her - and, to be honest, if I were there, I wouldn't either.

"Alright Trixie, start talkin'." Applejack said angrily. All eyes turned to the frightened alicorn as the seven of them came closer.
"I already told you, I have no idea!" Trixie protested. "Get off me!" She screamed, bucking Spike away from her angrily.
"That's it. She's toast!" Rainbow said, charging towards her. Trixie screamed and cowered but before Rainbow could make contact she was frozen in place with her hoof still raised and ready to strike. Twilight had used her magic to stop her, and pulled her away from Trixie.

Wait, hold up. Let me read that again.... "she was frozen in place with her hoof still raised?" Last I checked, Rainbow had switched bodies with Spike, who has claws. Perhaps you should give this a once-over to recheck for continuity errors like this. Anyway...

"Look, I know I'm not your favorite pony at the moment

Well, that's putting it mildly...

but I honestly had nothing to do with this beast thing. Besides, you're all going to need me alive because I'm the only one who knows how to change you back to normal. I'm NOT going to let you loser- I mean, ponies, leave me here to die!" Trixie said defiantly.
"You know how to reverse this spell?" Twilight asked skeptically.
"Of course I do, but I'll need the gem to do that."
"Do we have it with us?" Spike asked.
"No." Twilight answered. "I hid it back at the library for safe keeping."
"The library in Ponyville?" Fluttershy asked.

No, the one in the Crystal Empire. :flutterrage: OF COURSE THE ONE IN PONYVILLE!!!

So, we get some shenanigans with Trixie insisting that she accompany them to Ponyville, to which Rainbow and Spike strongly oppose, but in this case, Trixie has the leverage. After a quick worrying about Luna, they decide they should get their bodies back before chasing after Luna and this....shadow pony.
:rainbowhuh:Wait....Did you do what I think you did? Did you connect this fanfiction with Castle Mane-ia? :raritystarry:Was that the Pony of Shadows!?

Please excuse this interruption; the production staff is currently in the process of subduing Sunlight Blaze's fanboying over a connection to an end-of-episode gag that could later prove consequential in the show itself.
(ten minutes later)
Alright, where was I?...Ah, yes!

They go outside and are met with a practically frantic Canterlot public.

The ponies were in an uproar; demanding answers that Twilight and her friends could not give. Where were Celestia and Luna? What had happened in the throne room? What kind of creature was that?
Twilight decided it was impractical to explain the body-switching situation. Therefore, under her direction, Trixie had to be the one to address the guards and the ponies. Despite her general distain for this situation she comforted the ponies; promising them that everything possible was being done to ensure the safe return of their princess. However, the absence of Princess Celestia only served to further the concern of the ponies because they feared she had been attacked and taken too; there was really no way to know for sure.
So far, Trixie seemed to be playing the part well, and didn't deviate from the instructions that Twilight gave her. Twilight was grateful that she'd had experience with this sort of crisis before and knew how to get things under control. She made Trixie clear her name and rescind the bounty on her head ordering the Canterlot guard to take down all of the "Wanted" posters. Twilight's friends helped in any way that they could, whether that meant crowd control or keeping an eye on Trixie.

Yeah, Trixie, you better behave!

"Do we really have to ride in coach?" Trixie whined as she boarded the train.

Aww, what's wrong with riding first class? Isn't this what you've always wanted, Trixie?

Of course, Discord is wanting to be of assistance...in his own...unique way.

"So long my friends! Equestria is in safe paw and claw!" Discord called as the train pulled away from the station. He turned to one of the ponies standing on the platform beside him and asked. "Don't you think the sky could use a good make-over? Like perhaps a few cotton candy clouds, maybe some-"
"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT DISCORD!" Rainbow Dash yelled from the caboose of the train.
Discord folded his arms and grumbled.

That's Discord for ya! (Humor: +1)

On the way back to Ponyville, Applejack explains the fiasco with the dragons back in the Everfree, and Twilight looks at Trixie as if to blame her, but she's too busy being vain to notice.

“She’s gonna get her just desserts for doing this to you Twi, no pony’s gonna let her off the hook this time.” Applejack reassured.

Sweet Celestia, I hope so. Let's count her infractions so far, shall we?
*purchasing a forbidden artifact on the black market and using it to enslave an entire town (Magic Duel)
*impersonating Equestrian Royalty
All that would amount to at least twenty years in prison! And that's more on the lenient side!

“Did somepony say desserts?!” Pinkie Pie asked, popping into the conversation unexpectedly. “I could really go for some cherry chungas right about now.”

Okay, Pinkie...I know what it's like to have an uncontrollable sweet tooth, but could you please focus when there's a super-powerful demon Alicorn out there who obviously is more powerful than the villains you've faced thus far!?

Twilight sighed angrily and turned away, looking out the window trying to calm herself down. She would have loved nothing more than to see Trixie rotting in the cell she had kept her, but that was so uncharacteristically cruel. She’d never desired something so awful before and she worried that Trixie might have done some actual emotional damage. For once she wanted nothing more than to make the irresponsible decision. She was tired of being the honorable pony; the one who had to make the tough choices.

:applejackconfused:......Wow......I, honestly, have never read a fanfiction where Twilight goes through this kind of emotional stress. Sure, Past Sins certainly was one of massive emotional stress, but never to the point of even thinking of throwing mercy to the wind and actually wanting to punish the villain...... This is some really heart-tugging development for Twilight... (Writing: +1)

Well, at the moment, the best thing they can do is get their bodies back, fix the situation with the dragons, and then figure out what to do to help Luna.

“Right… about that….” Trixie started. The others looked at her in confusion and anger. “I don’t actually know… exactly how to switch us back.”

Say what!?

“You lied?” Rarity screamed, alerting the other ponies in the train car.
“No! I just… twisted the truth a little. There is a way to swtich us back; I know somepony who can.” Trixie said.

......Okay, so it's not entirely hopeless. Just who is this pony, then?

“Oh yeah, as if I’ll just give you the answer just like that? Look, I have something you need and you have something I need. I need protection, and you want a counterspell. I’ll take you to see the pony that can help you IF you make me a promise first.” Trixie said

Already implimenting conditions, huh? *sigh* What is it?

“You have to promise to let me go. When everything is over, I walk away and you ponies never hear from me again. Deal?” Trixie said.

“Deal.”

............................Are you crazy?

“But that’s only if you make good on your promise to change us back.” Twilight said.

Okay, yeah, I'll give you that, but...don't you think she needs to at least serve a few months of jail time or community service? You're actually going to let her off scot-free?

“Yeah, sure. Whatever. Just so we’re clear, you protect me; I’ll lead you to this pony, then you let me go free.” Trixie clarified.

:ajbemused: Your tone of voice doesn't convince me that you'll follow through on this deal, Trixie...

So we flash forward to them walking into the Everfree Forest, and after hearing about some of their adventures during her absence, Trixie is a little beside herself.

"Again?" Trixie whined. "What do you ponies do; go around looking for giant monsters to fight?"
"Oh we never have to go looking for them, they come looking for us!" Pinkie clarified, happily bouncing along with the rest of them.
"Like there was that time with Cerberus, the hydra, the minotaur…." Pinkie said trailing off as she tried to list the colorful list of monsters they'd encountered.
"And suddenly I'm rethinking this whole protection thing. How protective can you ponies be if you just go waltzing into the Everfree forest looking for trouble?" Trixie said bitterly.

It's them or the monsters at this point, Trixie. Take your pick.

After some more shenanigans - and Trixie being left to the Pinkie Pie Broken Record torture - they find the area where Applejack, Fluttershy, and Zecora had caught the dragons completely destroyed......How the heck did those dragons get out? The rocks are still in place!

"Are you sure, Applejack? Rocks do tend to look similar…." Rarity said, trailing off as she kicked a few loose pieces of rubble away from her. "Perhaps they only needed to move them ever so slightly-"

Uh, no. I saw that sh:yay:t! They were securely in place! And besides, when are dragons ever subtle?

So, with some reluctant help from Trixie, Twilight gets the cave open, and turns out the dragons had resolved to dig a deeper tunnel into the mountainside. Well, you never know what a cornered beast might do.

Just as they peek inside, a manticore attacks from behind and forces them into the cave. (Cue music)

After some failed attempts, they finally remember Fluttershy's stare, and Spike - being in Rainbow Dash's body - finds a window and takes off to find her.

"I hate you." Trixie said flatly in Twilight's general direction.

You're an Alicorn, for pete sake! You can blast it, dumbass!!!

Meanwhile, Fluttershy gets to her house and finds Zecora was forced to pin up all her animals....wow, did they really give her that much trouble?

“I do not think you’re appearance is to blame. None of the animals are acting the same.” Zecora answered.
“What do you mean?” Fluttershy asked worriedly.
“Since you’ve been gone they have acted so strange, almost as if they have encountered a change. Whenever I try to let them free, all of them panic and flee. And your dear little Angel friend; would have vanished if he had not been penned.” Zecora answered.
“But… that’s impossible. Angel has never tried to run away before.” Fluttershy said sadly.

.....Actually, no, he hasn't....... As much as I want to count his actions in Castle Mane-ia, I can't really call it that......This is wierd...

Zecora suggests using the Stare on them, but when Fluttershy tries it, it doesn't....work...............Okay, dragons misbehaving outside of their territory, an evil Alicorn shows up, and now Fluttershy's Stare has been neutralized.... This can't be coincidence!

Then Spike shows up - wow, he's already fast in Rainbow Dash's body (on second thought, that just sounds wrong...) - and warns them of the Manticore attack, and the three of them speed on to help.

Back in the forest, the group is getting their flanks handed to them by this Manticore. They've exhausted almost every strategy possible, and even when Fluttershy and them arrive, they've got nothing.

“DO SOMETHING!” Trixie said, shaking Twilight in panic.
“Why don’t you try a hoof at it?” Twilight snapped.

Hey, Trixie? Here's a thought: ZAP THE F:yay:KING THING!!!

It takes forever, but Trixie finally utilizes her recently-acquired Alicorn magic and it turns out to be an age spell as the Manticore is turned into a little baby kitty.

“Did she just perform and age spell? Since when can you do age spells without some kind of amulet?!” Rarity said.

I think the Princesses have established that Alicorns are naturally stronger than (almost) any group of skilled Unicorns. I wouldn't put it past her to be able to use that kind of magic now.

“Oh yeah? Well what if this was all a hoax and Trixie conjured the manticore only to pretend to save us from it?” Rainbow Dash said.
“Now let’s not jump to conclusions y’all.” Applejack said, then winced in pain.
“Oh Applejack, you’re hurt!” Twilight realized. She jumped down to see the wound and the others followed suit.

Oh, snap! That looks deep......

“Let me take a look at that, friend. This is a wound I can mend.” Zecora said. “Quickly, let us get her back to my place, I’ll treat her right away just in case.”

Here's a thought: has anypony thought about inventing a healing spell for wounds like this? Makes me wonder why there aren't many unicorns in the medical field. Medical magic would definitely be useful.

As Trixie followed close behind she began to silently panic. She remembered something she was supposed to do for a certain pony who possessed great power. Enacting that age spell was a sharp reminder that she had not kept up her end of the bargain yet.
“I swear if you’ve been setting me up I’m gonna…” Trixie mumbled under her breath.
“Setting who up? What are you talking about?” Rainbow Dash said. Trixie hadn’t realized she was within earshot of any pony listening. Unable to think of a convincing lie Trixie angrily blurted out:
“The pony who REALLY started all this mess. Astelle.”

Wait......so, there's somepony else involved in this!? First, there's that dark Alicorn, and now this Astelle pony?

(To be continued....)

Why Do I get the feeling that in your Audio Drama, Your going to make Astelle sing "Poor Unfortunate Souls" when she's giving her the gem.

Hi, I'm back. Sorry for having not continued with my review sooner; I've had to take the time to settle down into college before I could have the time. First week, and I only just finished my homework yesterday... Anyway, back to Princess Trixie Sparkle.

We start out in Zecora's hut, where the zebra has treated Applejack's wound and has her side wrapped. Once she's able to travel, they head.....:rainbowhuh:back to the library......?

“I thought we already looked in every book for answers already.” Rainbow Dash said, trying her best to negotiate her way out of book-searching duty.
“Yes, but that time I was looking for something to do with that gem. This time I’m hoping to find a cause to the animals’ strange behavior.” Twilight said, combing through her books on the shelf. “Maybe you and the others can try to get as much information from Trixie as possible.”

.......Eh, okay, I'll roll with it. But I think you need to be focusing on Trixie.

“Oh so it’s blackmail now is it? And here I thought I was the only unreasonable one.” Trixie said angrily.

Ponies who live in glass houses, Trixie..... (ten points if anyone gets the joke.)

So Applejack manages to convince Trixie to come clean, and then we're treated to a flashback scene.

“Is that all you can do?” One pony asked her after she performed a simple trick by making a bouquet of roses appear.
“Certainly not!” Trixie protested. “I’m only warming up; there is nothing that the Great and Powerful Trixie cannot do!”
“Prove it.” Another pony said.
Trixie performed all of her usual tricks; a rope that could be controlled like a serpent from a basket that would fly on its own to lasso various odd objects lying about. When that failed to impress, Trixie summoned a rain cloud and had lightning ignite a fire that seemed to sustain itself while floating in mid-air. She was impressed by this trick and looked to see the adoring faces of the ponies watching but still saw nothing but disinterested glares. Some ponies were even yawning are her amazing tricks!
“What is wrong with you ponies? Don’t you know the truly awesome magic of the Great and Powerful Trixie? I have controlled magic unlike you have ever seen.”
“Lame.” A pony called out.

...Wow...tough crowd.

After failing to perform an age spell, Trixie is booed off the stage. :ajbemused: Now I remember why I moved to Ponyville...

But she encounters another mare who asks about the Alicorn Amulet. Okay, right away I can tell something's up with this mare. No "excuse me", no introduction, no "my name is", just:

"Do you possess the Alicorn Amulet?"

A dark grey unicorn mare with fiery red mane and eyes? Why is it that all the villains have some kind of combination of red and black in their design?

“Where is the amulet now?” the unicorn asked, a little more forcefully this time.
“I have no idea. Weren’t you listening? That good-for-nothing Twilight Sparkle took it from me; just like she takes everything else from me.” Trixie said, once again her emotions betraying her as her eyes watered. The mare softened at the sight of Trixie’s pain.
“I believe I may be able to help you.” She said, putting a hoof on Trixie’s shoulder.
“Oh yeah? What could you possibly do to help me?” Trixie asked.
“I can show you great magic, Trixie, the likes of which thou… I mean… you have ever seen.” The mare said.

It's NEVER seen! C'mon, you're a professional fanfiction writer, you should have gotten the tense correct here! GET YOUR SH:yay:T TOGETHER!!! (overreaction aside....)

To emphasize this point, the pony uses her magic to...:rainbowderp: make a passing unicorn's horn disappear!? Are we sure this isn't just Discord in disguise and this is all just a ploy to teach the Mane Six something gone awry?

So Trixie agreed to the mare's offer, Trixie gets her name - Astelle - and they head off in Trixie's cart...with a rather snobby gesture from Astelle regarding said cart. Sheesh, she's worse than Rarity when it comes to travel methods!

After a short intermission, Trixie explains to Astelle about Twilight, and the mysterious mare offers her the gem that started this whole mess in exchange for Trixie agreeing to retrieve the Alicorn Amulet for Astelle.

Back to present day, they now speculate where the Alicorn Amulet is. Twilight points out that she doesn't know exactly where it is, having given it straight to Princess Celestia.

And now we have a flashback to when Trixie asked Luna about the Amulet, but the flashback is told from Luna's point of view...interesting. And there's some interesting ideas as to Luna's thoughts about Celestia nowadays....and that actually makes sense.

"Yeah, I know. I just uh… I had a dream about it. I dreamt that I would need to be ready to protect it." Trixie lied.

Hmm...that would be a legitimate excuse, Trixie. If not for the fact that you're dealing with Princess Luna, who would have known if you had had such a dream.

"The amulet is protected by the hearts of the ponies who hold it. As long as there is light and love in Equestria the amulet will be safe." Luna said.

:rainbowderp: You sneaky little devil.....the Amulet is in the Crystal Empire. Clever, Magpiepony.

So they start speculating about Astelle and...honestly, I agree with their reasoning. But I still have no idea about the shadow Alicorn......

And now they're on the way to the Crystal Empire. let's just hope Rarity can keep her fangirling in check...

So we start this next chapter with Luna waking up in a pitch black cavern, her magic drained and her mane completely solid. A few moments later, she is joined by Astelle, who is very cryptic in her speech, and I'm sensing a bit of a Master Manipulator villain here...almost like a Sith Lord....okay, I'm getting a bit of a Kreia vibe from her now....

Then we find out that Celestia is somewhere in this seemingly massive chamber. And it seems Celestia has been withholding information from Luna. While I'm not surprised by this whatsoever, considering everypony has secrets they don't want anypony to know, I think it would have been better if this wasn't just...suddenly thrown in there. Perhaps a mention of this in an earlier chapter involving Luna would have made this a bit more effective, since it'll be something the reader knows earlier on that is later expanded upon.

Anyway, it seems Celestia banished Astelle before Nightmare Moon, and apparently Luna had no knowledge of Astelle's existence.

"Who is she Celestia?" Luna asked out of principle. There was silence in the room for a little while with the exception of Celestia's sad sobs.
"Our older sister."

:rainbowderp:................

Is it just me, or did I never catch any description of exactly how tall Astelle is? Just wondering.....and I'm assuming she's taller than Celestia.

We change scenes to the Mane Six arriving via train to the Crystal Empire, and are greeted with Trixie adoring the crystal guards fawning over her again. (just a bit more, Sunlight...just a bit more of this sh:yay:t, then it'll be okay...)

"Princess Twilight Sparkle wishes to have an audience with Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor." Twilight said, stepping in front of Trixie before she could say anything.
"Of course." One guard said, motioning to two other guards to open the doors. One orange-coat and blue-maned Pegasus guard in particular glanced Trixie's way and offered her an embarrassed but sweet smile. Trixie paid him no heed as she strode inside. Twilight blushed in embarrassment as she and the others walked past, trying not to let him see her or make eye contact.

"Hi, my relationship is still a thing but we're not doing anything with it, bye."
---Huebert J. Flank, Joshscorcher's "Rainbow Rocks" review

A minute or two later, Cadence appears and starts doing their little dance, but......yeah. Role reversal. Shining Armor shows up, and after a brief explanation about the body switching....

"What did you do?" He demanded. There was nothing quite as frightening as an older brother trying to protect his sister. He approached Trixie sternly and she looked up at him in surprise. As he got closer she backed away and into the wall so quickly that she knocked down a banner hanging there.

Yeah, don't piss off Shining Armor.

So the Mane Six explain the situation regarding their body mismatching, the missing Princesses, and the Shadow Alicorn. And they come up with a plan to find Astelle:

"So we're setting a trap?" Pinkie exclaimed. "Trixie will lure her in all innocent-like and then before she can get her hooves on the amulet we all burst out of hiding and then Twilight, Cadance, and Shining Armor can take her on, horn to horn! The rest of us ponies will be ready juuuust in case there's any other sort of funny business that needs to be taken care of. Ooo I hope I get to clobber a few minions!"

.......Sometimes, I find it scary how Pinkie Pie can do that. (Nice nod of continuity with the Mirror portal.)

After some shenanigans with a security system, Trixie sends the summoning spell off to Astelle and now it's time to wait.

But it's been hours, and nothing happens.

"Wait a minute…" Applejack said. "Why don't we just give it to 'er?"

Uh......come again?

"Nothing else is working, maybe there's some kind of magic at work here. That unicorn did say she'd know once it was in Trixie's possession; but it isn't in her possession yet." Applejack said.

Ooooooh, I get it! So, once Trixie has the Alicorn Amulet, Astelle might come running and then we have our boss battle!

So they get everypony into position, and Trixie puts on the Amulet. And then the whole thing goes to hell. The Shadow Alicorn is en route, and Trixie tries to remove the Amulet, but for some reason it's sealed around her neck now.

The Shadow Alicorn comes in, engulfs Trixie, and then disappears. Well, so much for that plan.

"That wasn't the real amulet." Twilight said proudly. "We figured Trixie knew a little more than she was telling us and she'd end up making some kind of mistake. If she believed she had the real amulet we could unmask whatever she was planning and thwart her in the act."
"You never trusted her." Rainbow Dash realized proudly.
"And I never will." Twilight added.
"Well it's kind of hard to confront some pony when they disappear." Applejack said.
"That's why there's a trace spell on her." Twilight added.

:rainbowderp: (I use that emote a lot....)

So once she touches down, go to her location, and kick some bad guy flank! Meanwhile, Shining and Cadence will make sure the REAL amulet is safe.

"Speaking of which, were did you hide the real one anyway?" Spike asked.
"Why it's right over… wait." Twilight said, pausing mid-sentence. Her whole face turned pale as she made the sickening discovery. "Wait, it was right here! The fake one was in the box and the real one…"
Twilight bolted across the room to the discarded box where the fake alicorn amulet had been placed. She opened it to discover the false amulet still in place. Although it was a remarkable duplicate Twilight knew this was not the real amulet.
"Oh no…" Cadance said, realizing what had happened. She looked to Shining Armor.
"Twi…?" Applejack asked softly.
"She took the real one. She has the real one!" Twilight gasped; her friends returning with gasps of their own.

:rainbowhuh: Wait, what? :twilightangry2: You gave her the real--...:facehoof: I know it's a replica.... :flutterrage: But how the BUCK do you mix that up!!??

"Does anypony else ever wonder why these sorts of things always seem to happen to US?" Spike asked.
"I've been asking that question for four years, Spike." Rainbow Dash agreed.

Was that a reference to "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince"?

"Why is it that whenever something happens, it is always you three?" ---Professor McGonagall
"Believe me, Professor...I've been asking myself that question for six years." ----Ronald Weasley

So we open this up with Trixie appearing in what appears to be the ruins of a castle of some sort. After a failed teleportation attempt, Astelle shows up, and we are treated to Astelle once again manipulating Trixie like a typical Sith Lord. I swear, her character was based off of Kreia from Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic 2. At least Trixie has common sense in her this time, and she wants to know the full details.

"Wait a minute…" Trixie said, pulling her hooves away. "I'm not falling for THIS trick again. What's in it for me? And why do you need this? How exactly are you a queen and where in Equestria did you come from? What is that Alicorn monster thing?"

Okay, as much as I want answers as well, Trixie, has anypony ever told you that you ask too many questions? One at a time, lady!

"The amulet is mine; forged by mine own magic." Astelle started. "Within it holds great potential that will unlock the greatest parts of me. I created it in anticipation of my defeat before I was banished from Equestria by the very mare you now call royalty. Only I can truly master the magic contained within and lead it to its intended purpose."

:trixieshiftright: Hmm...a story with fanmade origins of the Alicorn Amulet... This is the first story I've read with that concept...... Points for originality. (Story: +1)

"What's in it for you?" Trixie asked.
"As an old… acquaintance once said to me; I wish nothing more but to exist no longer as I am." Astelle said. That statement sent a strong spike of pain to her heart and she snarled in remembrance.

:rainbowderp:.........Well......that's new......a villain who wants ultimate power, not to become immortal, but to do away with their immortality... (Story: +2)
Well, then again, Astelle could be lying to get back on Trixie's good side, considering only the wearer can remove the Amulet. And it almost works too, if not for the next bit, which contains some good character development for Trixie.

Trixie looked down at the amulet around her neck and paused, deep in thought. Perhaps Astelle was right, perhaps she was destined for more than she could have imagined. She always believed she was a leader and this would be an unfathomable life of glamorous titles and adoration. Queen Trixie had a nice ring to it. However, common sense had finally crossed her mind. This pony could be lying. This pony could bring all kinds of destruction to Equestria. She had no proof of anything except the magic she had seen this pony perform even without the amulet. More than that, though, she began to worry for the ponies of Equestria. If a mare could possess the power to overcome any foe that power could twist the mind and create the greatest threat any pony had ever witnessed. Trixie closed her eyes and remembered the moment Twilight Sparkle had forgiven her. She never realized how much that moment resonated with her. In all her time hating Twilight, she had hated her in jealousy. She never would have imagined bringing her any physical harm. Even locked away in the dungeon she could not bring herself to do such a thing. She knew how power twisted her own mind. What if she became the monster? Feared throughout the world rather than loved. Perhaps it was best not to seek after the things the heart believes it wants the most. Perhaps thinking for the benefit of others might save them and yourself from total corruption. Trixie looked up at Astelle and dropped her hoof away from the clasp.

And so Trixie outright refuses Astelle's offer----

"Stop right there!" Twilight Sparkle called. Trixie and Astelle turned to see Twilight and her friends accompanied by Shining Armor, Princess Cadance, and the royal guard of the Crystal Empire.

:rainbowderp: Oh, please tell me this isn't going to go where I think it is.....

"Your reign of terror ends here, Trixie Lulamoon. We know of your plot to take over Equestria and I can promise you that will never happen." Twilight said. Her friends all rallied around her nodding their heads in agreement.

Wait, what? I don't remember anything like that being brought up in the previous chapter! Seriously, guys, do you really think Trixie of all ponies would have that kind of ability, even with the Amulet? Heck, that shadow Alicorn from earlier is all it takes to debunk that accusation! She's obviously not the main threat here! Speaking of which, why is it that NONE of them can see that there's a FIFTH ALICORN!?!?

"Return the amulet at once!" Shining Armor demanded.
"Or you'll what?" Astelle asked, bemused.
"Or I'll…" Shining Armor started, but paused when he realized his horn was not lighting up.

Oh, so there's some kind of enchantment on the castle that prevents all magic other than Astelle's from activating. :pinkiehappy: Convenient! Or......INconvenient!

So they all put the blame on Trixie - despite the dark-colored Alicorn sitting in the room, who clearly made her presence known, :twilightangry2: and whom they can obviously see - and don't listen to Trixie as she tries to explain herself.

"You're a pathetic liar and a waste of a unicorn;

:twilightoops: Whoa, now...

a waste of a pony!

:fluttershyouch: Ouch...

Equestria will be a lot safer when you're gone."

:pinkiegasp: *gasp* .........................

Okay, normally, I would excuse any and all badmouthing towards Trixie........but in THIS case, I'm with Trixie! Not because I know that she's in the right, it's the fact that it should be freaking obvious that she's not the one who's behind this! Seriously, Trixie doesn't exactly have the right type of intellect to be able to stage any of what the Mane Six have accused her of! They're not even letting her finish her sentences, and there's an Alicorn other than Celestia and Luna in the room! I'm sorry, but can somepony just hit them all with the idiot stick!?

So, after Twilight's insult (that was harsh, by the way, but understandable), Trixie takes off the Amulet and gives it to Astelle just to spite Twilight, after seeing all her thoughts of Twilight from moments ago just crushed underhoof. And, to be honest, I don't blame Trixie at all. Heck, I probably would have done the same thing if it was me there.

Astelle smiled and secured the amulet around her own neck. She closed her eyes, embracing the magic she had locked within. When she opened her eyes again, they were as bright red as the shadow alicorn's.
"The shadow alicorn…" Rarity whispered. Twilight and her friends began backing away in fear.
"Now!" Shining Armor said, charging at Astelle. Astelle didn't move, nor did she speak. She watched as the large quantity ponies raced towards her, spears and swords pointed in her direction. Astelle needed only to blink and the entire lot of them vanished into thin air. Twilight and the others screamed.
"SHINING ARMOR!" Princess Cadance cried.

:rainbowderp: Did you just.........please tell me you didn't..........Did you......just......kill off Shining Armor...?

Don't worry, Sunlight. Most likely, she'll just end up having him appear randomly once the final battle is over, just so people don't get all butthurt over it.

What the... Hades? What're you doing here?

Does it matter? Back to the review.

O....kay, then...... Anyway, I sincerely hope Hades isn't right about this and it's something actually reasonable and/or explainable...... Back to the review.

Astelle turned her head in Cadance's direction and smiled. She then looked to Trixie who was stunned at her side.
"I promise the pain will go away now, Trixie. You'll never have to feel it again." Astelle said. Trixie rose up off the floor and was consumed in swirls of red light. Every pony else shielded their eyes from the bright glow. Trixie screamed, more in shock than in pain. She felt her body changing, morphing into something different. Her wings stretched further, her legs grew longer, her mane felt light as air. Her coat turned dark and when she opened her eyes she saw with new clarity. Twilight and her friends gasped in horror when the light faded away. Astelle smirked as Trixie began to realize what had happened and who she was now. She was still in Twilight's body; though Twilight's body had certainly changed. She recognized this sort of transformation and examined her new and improved body in awe.
"I present to you your new leader; Nightmare Trixie Sparkle." Astelle said; laughing so hard that it turned into a cackle.

:twilightoops: ........Well, we're f:yay:ked.

For the second time Twilight had to watch helplessly as Trixie slammed a door in her face locking her in yet another dungeon cell.

And check.

What are you doing now?

Oh, just checking off items from my list of things a bad villain does. "Doesn't kill when given the chance," check. Though, pretty much every other item has already been debunked for Astelle, though...

"Shining Armor?" Princess Cadance called into the darkness. Their cell was unusually large and her voice echoed as she called out his name.
"Princess Mi Amore?" Princess Luna asked somewhere in the darkness.
"Princess Luna!" Twilight exclaimed happily.
"Twilight Sparkle." Princess Celestia said, both with sadness and relief.
"Princess Celestia?" Rarity asked.
"Pinkie Pie!" Pinkie pie exclaimed.

Well, that WAS a heartwarming moment of calling out your loved ones' names.

So we find the Princesses in a less than cheerful state and after Luna exits off to another part of the chamber, Celestia gives the group an exposition dump about Astelle. Interesting headcanon about Celestia and her being an Alicorn. (Though I'm actually a bit more interested in how Celestia had to become an Alicorn, while Luna was born an Alicorn. Was that just a little mess-up in the script, or was that intentional?)

Starswirl's magic was rooted in goodness and powered by the Elements of Harmony: generosity, laughter, kindness, loyalty, and honesty."

"You did something today that's never been done before. Something even a great unicorn like Star Swirl the Bearded was not able to do, because he did not understand friendship like you do."
---Princess Celestia, Magical Mystery Cure

This quote right here debunks your previous statement. NEXT!!!

Okay, instead of trying to pick apart the whole exposition dump, I'm just going to summarize it: Astelle is essentially a Jedi turned Sith by her own pain and anger, and sought to destroy all magic in Equestria. (interesting backstory for the Everfree Forest) Celestia and Star Swirl managed to defeat her and seal her inside a tapestry in the Castle (though, I have to point this out: this must have been back when the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters was still in use, so the Forest must have grown around the castle. Just sayin'). Then Luna goes over the time before she became Nightmare Moon from her own point of view, and revealing that Nightmare Moon's dark magic was identical to Astelle's magic - or at least a variation of it - which explains the "Nightmare Twilight Sparkle. And, according to this story, the TREE OF HARMONY is in fact Star Swirl the Bearded, and the Elements of Harmony is the source of all magic in all of Equestria. And Astelle's goal is to destroy the tree to eliminate all magic in the world so she can live a normal life and die naturally, and likely dooming the world to crumbling on its own inability to contain itself.
:fluttershysad:Wow......With this, Astelle seems less like Kreia from KOTOR2 and more like Count Bleck from Super Paper Mario; having all her hopes crushed, she now sees life as meaningless and plans on destroying magic in Equestria so she can finally pass on naturally......I never thought I'd see a nihilistic villain in an MLP story......

So, now it's time for the group to stop her and Trixie! Step one: escape the dungeons! How?...................................yeah, I got nothing.................

Alright, now we're in the final chapter. :twilightoops: Wait, what!? The final chapter already!? .......Holy sh:yay:t, this story is short...... Oh well, on with the review.

So we start this out with Astelle and Trixie at the Tree of Harmony. Trixie is realizing exactly what Twilight had that she always wanted, and is frustrated at her still (so much so that she randomly fires a magic bolt into the sky). And Astelle isn't being completely honest with Trixie about her intentions.

We shift scenes back to the castle with the Princesses and Mane Six trying to find a way.

Twilight and the others looked out one of the small windows to see the sky change from a beautiful sunny afternoon to a dismal stormy sky.

:rainbowhuh: ......and apparently there's a window in this chamber? I'm guessing it's too small for any of them to fit...

The spark of light continued to shoot into the sky until it was about eye-level with the ponies. Then it paused for a moment before shooting straight into their dungeon cell. The ponies all screamed in surprise as the magical beam of light bounced around the cell at an incredible speed.

Damn, that was either some really precise aim by Trixie or just an insane amount of sheer dumb luck that the bolt managed to get in there. .......I'm going with the latter.

The light continued to bounce around the room chaotically and Pinkie Pie was beginning to enjoy the light show. Finally, the light flew directly towards Celestia. There was no time for any pony to stand in its path, and Celestia was still bound by chains and could not move to avoid it. Twilight watched helplessly as her beloved princess, mentor, and friend was struck by the ray of light.

But Celestia survives. I expected no less from the Princess of the Sun. (Phew...)

Celestia looked down to see that her shackles had indeed been broken. Twilight and Cadence were the first to notice the door to their cell was open.

Oh....well, that's oddly convenient. Hurray!

And, after speculating who fired that magic bolt, Twilight recalls Zecora's advice from a previous chapter and has an epiphany for how to defeat Astelle. Yeah, simple: turn Trixie away from the Dark Side of the Force, then zap her with magic death. (remembers Astelle's magic-sapping abilities) Oh....right.......HOW ARE THEY GOING TO BEAT HER, THEN!?!?!?

So they get outside, and...

They had just reached the steps outside the castle when they heard a scream of pain and terror.
"TRIXIE!" Twilight cried out in fear. Her friends looked at each other, confused.
"Trixie?" they said in astonishment because Twilight seemed genuinely afraid for her and that made no sense at all.

Suddenly, agonizing scream.

Tomorrow is the big finale of the story :D I'm both excited and sad to see it end!

Wait, what? What!? This is the last chapter posted on here! The story is marked "complete"! WHY ARE YOU ENDING IT LIKE THIS!?!?!?
(looks down) :ajbemused: And I thought Hades from Kid Icarus: Uprising was a troll...... (Seriously, though, that part needs to be edited out. That's just uncool.)

So, after Magpiepony's moment of trolling, we change scenes to the Everfree with Trixie and Astelle trying their best to slowly kill off the Tree of Harmony.

"TRIXIE!" Astelle screamed, causing Trixie to snap her attention back to the Elements of Harmony tree. She pretended to be giving it her best effort, but in reality she was doing her best to hold back. The magic inside her protested to the actions she was giving and caused her some pain. It didn't like its pony host acting in a manner that could be considered "good."

Huh...looks like somepony else also thinks of magic as a semi-sentient force that can think for itself in a way.

But the Shadow Alicorn appears, and Trixie and Astelle cease their efforts. After a moment of silent conversation between Astelle and her Avatar, we get this:

"You… you released my SISTER?" Astelle screamed. Trixie gasped in horror and used what strength she had to run away. Astelle was prepared for that, she merely nodded her head and black rose vines shot up out of the ground holding Trixie in place.

Alright, time for the villain's true feelings to be revealed to the naive follower. Let's see how Trixie gets out of this one.

"No pony will EVER DARE to cross me again Trixie Lulamoon! I let the first pony who betrayed me live; I won't be making that mistake again." Astelle said. Her eyes shone brightly and Trixie cried for her life.
"No!" Twilight yelled. She jumped on Astelle's back moments after Astelle had cast the spell. "Trixie!" Twilight called as the magic engulfed her and she fell to the ground. Astelle bucked Twilight from her back and attempted to snatch her but Applejack pulled her out of harm's way in time.

Alright, so Twilight takes the blow - and...somehow is able to get back up from it - :pinkiehappy:and now we get a boss battle!!!

"You pathetic little ponies think you can best me?" Astelle roared, fanning out her wings. From beneath her wings several little red glowing eyes shot forth and transformed into shadow alicorns. Each shadow alicorn was sent after a certain pony. Astelle watched laughing as each pony tried to evade their grasp.

:pinkiehappy:.......:pinkiesmile:........:applejackunsure:.........:ajbemused:.............Well, so much for that.....

So all of the ponies are captured by the Shadow Alicorn Clones, except for the Mane Six. (Convenient. Real convenient.) And just before the last six clones can take them, the Tree of Harmony suddenly shields them and gives them the Elements of Harmony back to the Mane Six. (Convenient. Real f:yay:king Convenient!)

The moment after the elements had reached them, Astelle blasted the Tree of Harmony with magic. Each gasped when the tree lost its glow and erupted into flames. Astelle snapped the branches from the tree, dismantling it down to nothing but a stump and some ash. When she turned to face Twilight and her friends, she looked different. Her whole body was glowing red and her mane and tail danced weightlessly in sync with the howling wind. When she opened her mouth to laugh her teeth had been sharpened to points and her eyes were pupil-less red.

Okay, now that you guys have the Elements of Harmony, you can take down this mare of hatred! You've done the same thing in the past with Nightmare Moon! Make her taste the rainbows!!!

Twilight and her friends closed their eyes and embraced the magic of the elements once more. The rainbow of light shot forth from their elements and went directly for Astelle. Astelle laughed, she blasted the magic of the elements causing the spell to fail and sending Twilight and her friends soaring backwards and into the ground.
"What happened!?" Applejack screamed above the thunder.
"The elements… they didn't stop her!" Fluttershy whimpered.

Well, so much for that. NOW what are they supposed to do?

Astelle aimed her horn at them but her spell was interrupted when somepony else's magic intercepted her own. Astelle gasped in surprise and turned to see Trixie attacking her from behind. She had been stripped of her nightmare powers and looked like the normal Twilight Sparkle again.
"Trixie!" Twilight and her friends all cheered.
"Wow this is a little weird." Pinkie Pie said based on the fact that they were cheering for the unicorn they hated no more than half an hour ago.

Wait....so, you're going to have Trixie end up saving the day? YAY!!!

"RUN!" she screamed very annoyed.
Twilight and her friends picked themselves up off the ground and looked at each other. They knew without having to say a word what the others were thinking and they did begin to run. However, they ran towards Trixie rather than away from her.
"What are you doing!?" Trixie screamed in surprise.

You saved their asses, I think you're friends now. Friendship is in the title of the show, Trixie.

"Seven birds with one stone!" She declared, directing a fatal blow of magic towards them. Much to Astelle's surprise her magic once again reflected off the group of ponies. "But… my magic is stronger! I've already bested the elements!"
"That's because we didn't have all of the elements when we faced you the first time!" Twilight Sparkle said boldly. She stood up and her friends rallied around her, Trixie was behind Twilight, just as confused as Astelle was.

:rainbowderp::rainbowhuh: Eh?

"Starswirl the Bearded may have founded the six Elements of Harmony and rooted his magic to them, but there's another Element of Harmony that makes its power far greater than your own! Something that every friendship needs, the element of forgiveness."

First off, if you're going to capitalize "Elements of Harmony", shouldn't this new element's name also be capitalized?
Secondly: Hmm....a new Element of Harmony......Interesting idea....

Anyway, so now that they have the Seventh Element (why is it that every McGuffin in media always comes in groups of seven? Chaos Emeralds in Sonic, Dragon Balls in Dragon Ball Z, Stars/Crystal Stars/Pure Hearts in the Paper Mario series, etc...), NOW we get our moment of

The resulting attack reduces Astelle to an Earth Pony again, and KOs the Mane Six. Or.....Seven.

When everypony wakes up, they have their own bodies back. I guess by eliminating Astelle, her dark magic dissipated. And now it's official: the girls are accepting Trixie, despite her actions.

Now, I've seen at least one comment already complaining about this, and honestly......I'm fine with it. I mean, she just helped you destroy the single most dangerous opponent you have ever faced! And, when you stop and think about it, if she hadn't done what she did, you wouldn't have made another friend! Intentional or not, she redeemed herself through her...less than friendly actions.

And it seems everypony who was hurt by Astelle's magic has returned.

Told you she'd conjure him up again out of nowhere to prevent butthurting the readers.

Hades, will you just go back to the Underworld already?

What, you don't appreciate my handsome presence anymore?

I brought you here because you were funny on Kid Icarus: Uprising! Now you're just being annoying. So make like G3 and get lost!

Anyway.....

"Wait, where's Cadance? And Shining Armor?" Fluttershy asked worried.
"They're fine. Shining Armor appeared in the castle with us once Astelle's magic had been destroyed." Celestia said.

Um.....a little too vague here; you say Shining Armor reappeared in the castle with Celestia and Luna...... but don't give any details as to Cadence's whereabouts? Also, if Celestia and Luna appeared back in the castle, how the buck did they get here so fast?

So the Princesses forgive Trixie, and now we can focus on what to do with Astelle now that she's powerless, and how the buck they're going to wield magic now that the Tree of Harmony has been completely destroyed.

Epilogue
Trixie was standing in the hallway of the Canterlot castle. She was looking up at a brand-new stained glass depicting their glorious defeat of Astelle. Astelle herself was never found, but Celestia reassured every pony that she would be unable to wield her magic ever again. The Elements of Harmony had to be returned to the tree, which sprang back to life once the elements had been safely encased in its newly-formed branches; including the new element that was in the shape of a star wand. The magic from the tree helped to make things right in Equestria. The dragons that had wandered into Equestria had left for their real homes, the animals returned to the ponies who loved them, and the ponies could take back control of the earth and sky.

:ajbemused:.............:facehoof: *sigh*.......This paragraph just says that this part of the story more rushed than Magical Mystery Cure.....I was hoping for some kind of expansion on how the buck they saved the Tree of Harmony, and the fact that Astelle wasn't even in the bucking crevice during the last part of the previous scene......(writing: -4)

So while everypony is celebrating, Twilight heads outside to talk with Trixie. They discuss Trixie's role as the newest Element of Harmony, and we end with Trixie showing signs of her still being her old self by listing off new names for herself.
(Final ratings next!!!)

And that's Princess Trixie Sparkle. What did I think?

I loved the beginning, I liked the middle, and I'm....meh on the end.

The story started out strongly, i'll give it that. It got me hooked by introducing a concept that the show needs to tackle; body switching. It would be a good way of teaching the lesson of "stepping into another person's shoes to understand them better", and it would just be outright hilarious to see (Dave Polsky would have a field day with that one).

As it progressed, the story kinda slowed down as more hoops had to be jumped through to get to Trixie, and then right at the end of chapter 6 was the sudden revealing of a villain, whom we aren't even truly introduced to until chapter 9. That's not something you do so suddenly that late in the story; there has to be some actual buildup to the reveal of the villain; you could have had a few single-paragraph scenes where Astelle could have been watching Trixie through a crystal ball or something; at least we would have some kind of buildup to Astelle.

To be honest, once the Shadow Alicorn comes into play, it's downhill from there; the pacing either is too slow or too fast, the final battle was rather anti-climactic (it reminded me of how Sunset Shimmer was defeated in Equestria girls; that's not good), and Astelle being suddenly introduced as the main antagonist just threw me for a loop.

Not to mention how rushed that final chapter was. Once the Mane Six arrived at the Grotto of the Tree of Harmony, everything just became a bit of a mess. I mean, with enough elaboration and focus on detail, this could easily have been split into two chapters! And an explanation as to where the victims reappeared after Astelle was defeated! We don't see Cadence at any point after she's taken by the Shadow Alicorns! I would have liked this to be explained before we suddenly turned to the Epilogue! (not to mention the divergence from canon that I pointed out earlier.)

About introducing a seventh Element of Harmony, I've seen a few Youtube videos addressing this, and heard many people suggest this as well. Personally, I don't really like the idea. But hey; if the staff want to impliment it, that's their choice. And it's interesting to see who people want added to the central cast (I vote Sunset Shimmer. She deserves it after Rainbow Rocks.)

Now, the I did have SEVERAL laughs throughout the story, so Humor is good, as is the moral of forgiveness. I realize that Forgiveness was the main focus of the story, but that wasn't emphasized until the last two chapters, with the exception of Zecora's warning, which ALSO didn't get a lot of emphasis until the end.

Most people say that first impressions are everything. And this story did give a good first impression. Unfortunately, this story was lacking in the ending, leaving a bad taste in my mouth after reading, causing the story as a whole to kind of fall flat as well. There was an excellent concept, the characters were written competently, the humor was funny, but it lacks in execution of the plot and emphasis of the moral. It wasn't bad, per se, but it was far from perfect.

Sunlight Blaze's final Ratings:
Story: C+ (7.7)
Writing: B- (8.1)
Humor: A- (9.0)
Moral: C+ (7.8)
Ending: D- (6.0)

Overall: C+ (7.72) :applejackunsure:

I'm Sunlight Blaze, and I'll still be keeping an eye on the Youtube series.

Now, if anypony has any stories they want reviewed, just give me a PM containing the link and reasons, if any, and I'll get on it when I'm available. Until then, see everypony later! *Teleports*

First three seconds of reading, and...

She'd poured over every book

Unless she is drizzling some kind of fluid on them, she pored over the books.

That is all.

"You won't get away with this."

Ahem.

"You won't get away with this, changeling!"

Ten minutes later, after failing to pass a basic are-you-Twilight-Sparkle test, Trixie is in irons.

But I guess that'd make for an awfully short story.

“Did she just perform and age spell? Since when can you do age spells without some kind of amulet?!” Rarity said.
an*

I'm gonna cry!!!!! Crys in the bedroomThis is to amazing! :pinkiesad2: The feels! And that part when Trixie became the 7th element of harmony oops to much said there. I can't help it this is SO AWESOME!

Why don't the gang just go and tell Luna what's wrong in the first place?

i watched the Youtube episode's first but i couldn't wait to see what was next so i just had to read this,Trixie element of forgiveness ? nice didn't see that coming AWESOME STORY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I read the story and watched the series and I can only say one word: AWESOME! The storyline is so well done, the characters are impressive and your ideas are great. I really love each character in this story. Your series on Youtube is awesome, you have got fantastic voice actors and the songs are brilliant.

This story is amazing!

This was a good story, I just couldn't stand all the Musical numbers.

I think this is the first time were I read a fanfic were Trixie is really evil, and Im liking it but I will always love her chaotic good/neutral nature :b

I LOVE THIS STORY!!!! This is the BEST body-swap story EVER!!!!

This is the best story ever. I love the last chapter of it and for that Trixie is part of the elements of harmony, the elements of forgiveness.

*Appaers in dungeon and cracks knuckles*

Sorry Princess, gonna need to rough up your body a bit.

*Turns to Trixie*

Now then... do you wanna have a bad time?

okay. did not see the older sister thing coming. I thought Astelle was their mother


And... wow, twilight. you dun fucked up




Also, yikes. We've only two chapters/episodes left to go.

Nice going, Twilight. You really messed up, this time! :facehoof:
How the heck are they going to switch back into their respective bodies?

Sorry to burst your bubble Trixie but you weren't the only candidate for that element.
There's also Sunset Shimmer and Starlight Glimmer :trollestia:
Other than that, I like the story concept. The story itself was okay, but i do agree with Sunlight Blaze's review. I hope you will continue to write mor interesting stories like this one! :twilightsmile:

Ok, i've just realized how similar this story is to my story O-O this could just be a big coincidence, but my story also involves the alicorn amulet and trixie. (nope, i DID NOT copy in case I see any accusations. I started my story last summer and as time went by ideas sprang into my head) I love your youtube series of princess trixie sparkle btw MagpiePony! If you want, you can check out my story on wattpad. my user is silverstream233. I will post all my chapters on this website as well since there seems to be more mlp fans.

I also had the idea of someone creating the alicorn amulet! it;s cool that we had the same ideas MagpiePony :D

"YAY MUSTACHES!" Pinkie and Spike shouted happily.

:pinkiehappy::moustache:

4675368

Couldn't been better. Also amazing how it was the last few sentences.

WOW NO COMMENTS! HA FIRST!

"APPLEJACK!" Spike cried out, throwing his hooves around her in a hug.

At first I was surprised that Spike had hooves and thought it was a typo and realized that he switched with Dash.

Whoops silly me :twilightblush:

Btw great story. I saw the Youtube one and got too lazy to wait for the next one so I came here. At least now I can yell in your ear "GREAT JOB!" :pinkiehappy:

4924438

I guess it runs in the family huh Big Mac?

Eyup.:eeyup:

“Direct hit! Ten points!” Pinkie cried out joyously.

Are you sure Pinkie switched with Rarity? This reminds me of a certain pony...princess to be exact. Maybe Pinkie switched with that pony instead of Rarity.

Good job princess Twilight. :facehoof:

6903456

"What have you done to our horns!" Twilight demanded, more furious than ever at Trixie.

YOU STUPID PONIES! ALL THE MORE REASON PRINCESS TURDY SPARKLE IS MY LEAST FAVORITE PONY! YOU DAMN PONIES ARE SO FUCKING STUPID! ESPECIALLY YOU SPARKLE! IF YOU WEREN'T ACTING LIKE THE JACKASS YOU ARE, YOU WOULDN'T EVEN BE IN THIS SITUATION!

"It can't be…." Twilight whispered.

YES IT IS TURDY SPARKLE! IT WAS THE PONY THAT YOU CALLED WHAT AGAIN? I QUOTE:

Waste of a unicorn.

AND

Waste of a pony.

YES THAT "WASTE OF A PONY" SAVED YOUR LIFE AND IS ALSO A SECRET ELEMENT OF HARMONY!

YOU HAPPY NOW SPARKLE?!

"I present to you your new leader; Nightmare Trixie Sparkle." Astelle said; laughing so hard that it turned into a cackle.

I do hope Nightmare Trixie Sparkle sings Jekyll & Hyde's "Alive" when she is introduced.

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