• Member Since 11th Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen Dec 30th, 2019

Cromegas_Flare


"To become who you are meant to be. You must first accept your flaws, then make them into your strengths; only then, can you fully be who you are meant to be"

T
Source

Years had past since Twilight Sparkle had gone missing. Many had speculated that she was kidnapped, some thought she could not take her new role as princess and ran away. Others had theorized that she was kidnapped by changelings in revenge to what happened at her brothers royal wedding.

Now, just past of all hope being lost for her return she is found in the middle of the lake. Yet, even though she is found, could she still be lost? Can her friends reach her in time, or is Twilight doomed to a fate worse than death?



Artwork is done by: sharpieboss
and is used with his permission.

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 78 )

I-it's time to play Eternity's End. What happened to you Twilight?

This morning, Rainbow Dash walked in to Twilights suite, and you know Rainbow Dash, if she gets worked up about something, she can get a little hostile. Well, Rainbow went into Twilight’s room shouting at her to at least make some life in her situation. This went on for a few minutes, and all Applejack and I could do was watch. Both of us were secretly hoping that what Rainbow Dash was doing could help.

She is old, and I don’t think she has the same genes her granny had.

I want to host it, but I feel rather weak.

I then got this crazy idea
I honestly have no idea what is going on

(The word 'idea' is capitalized unnecessarily in the fic)

:3
Backstory?

Wow, what happened to Twilight. Sitting in a trance for years?

I love the way you wrote it. All the different letters telling the story made it much more emotional.
So many feels. :pinkiesad2:

Wow... just wow, that was really good...

5022238
Glad you enjoyed it:raritystarry::raritystarry:


5021788
There will be one, a second chapter to this fic actually.


5021707
and the backstory will be detailed as Twilight tries to remember things, things that nopony should remember.

Yeah kinda expected more

5022249 there will be more chapters


Yay

Jesus I almost cried.
Severely in need oof brushies, but.

Hmm... Intriguing. Yet highly disturbing.

You have earned my favorite, sir. GG :rainbowkiss::twilightsmile:

Wow I was expecting a story with a quick happy ending but great story none the less I like how you made all in letters to princess celestia I would babe love to read her response to them

how much does anyone want to bet that Twilight regained her senses on the same day that Pinky died, if not the same hour . In all seriousness you managed to create an intriguing mystery, seeing the story marked incomplete makes me hope you are going to expand on it.

:fluttercry: Oh my what a sad story. It was told with such emotions. I just wanted Twilight to come out of her situation but it would appear that she is too immobile to move. I love it in the end where you actually show that Twilight's mind still works even though her body is disabled. Great call.

Do you ever think that you will write a story about why she goes missing and how this happens to her?

5025279
The second chapter will cover a bit on that, and everything will be explained in the third.

walked in to Twilights suite

*Twilight's, since the room is hers.

She still won't say anything ells,

only look at Rainbow Dash, no one ells

*else

Rainbow Dash and Apple jack have stopped

*Applejack

Intriguing. I am excited to see more.

What an excellent start! I hope I can still be a part of your editing team... Real life has been killer. I look forward to reading more... You know you're gonna make me cry with this right? Lol

Happy birthday dear friend :twilightsmile:

5028194
Thank you. I also need you to help me brainstorm on how I should present the next part. I know what will happen. Presenting it will be another challenge.

Some of the writing was good, but the end was pretty underwhelming. I think it would have been more significant if Twilight was aware the entire time, just disabled.

Spike was also missing during most of this even though he was close to twilight.

5028533

Good things you have pointed out, so the real question is... Why did I write it this way?

Went through my head as I read this.

5028533
Also, her parents and brother could have made an appearance in the story, as I can't imagine them not visiting their catatonic daughter/sibling in the hospital, especially after she has been missing for years.

Note to those who would be dissuaded to read this because of the Tragedy tag:

This isn't too much of a tragedy, now go read the story.

It appears that the backstory when presented will shed a bit of 'light' on what has occurred, because I am quite curious now as to what the hell happened to make her so catatonic.

And will she have aged along with the rest...or will she have been suspended from time?

Wow, that's good. Nice cliff hanger too. Looking forward to more.

If this was a one-shot, I would have hated the ending. I found a typo, where you wrote AppleJack, instead of Applejack.

Once Twilight was smacked, her head turned facing Rainbow Dash, locking her own eyes on her loyal friend. This is the first time Twilight ever acknowledged anyone other than you. After that though, Twilight will only look at Rainbow Dash, no one else. It’s as if when Rainbow enters the room, all eyes go to her and only her.

Who knew shock therapy could be so invigorating?

5035335

If this was a one-shot, I would have hated the ending.

I would have hated it as well, though I'm not one to write happy endings.

I found a typo, where you wrote AppleJack, instead of Applejack.

Hmm, can't have that. I'll hunt for it and fix it.

Who knew shock therapy could be so invigorating?

I don't know how to respond to this... It's like jumping into a cold lake.

possibly even help out some of the other patience around here as well.

Wrong "patients".

I honestly think Rarity has look though every single magic book available to ponies.

"looked"

Interesting, I think I have seen something similar to it but I can't remember for sure.

It was good, but it had a distracting number of grammar errors, the kind of stuff a spellcheck doesn't catch. You said hear instead of here in at least one instance. And there was a "would have" spelled "would of."

5035562 would have* you gotta fix that dude. "Would of" is completely incorrect.

Wow... just wow... Is this really incomplete, are you actually going to explore Twilight's life after this ordeal? Seriously I would love to see that. Each letter felt like we were getting closer and closer to good news until... well Applejack... then Pinkie mentions all the others... great now I'm crying again. Now the real important question is, "What the BUCK was Spike doing this whole time?" Was he the first to leave her... I mean I know that none of them truly left her... until they left everyone... so now I cry again...

I actually had a feeling about Twi recovering after Applejack and the others died... it just made sense at that point that she would wake up to a world without her friends... Okay spoiler end.

Also you wrote the word "patience" when I believe you meant "patients" Oh oops you already got that comment.

Okay now you get your gold star... I'll see you at the next chapter.

5039862

"What the BUCK was Spike doing this whole time?"

I love it when people ask the right questions.:moustache: Yes, more on the situation will be addressed in the next chapter.

5039871 I barely noticed it, but I found myself wondering at the end, when Spikes last letter happened. Then I found out and wondered what happened to him. So I am super excited to see the next chapter now.

Oh and I forgot, Pinkie trying to get Twilight to write to Celestia was the most wonderful bit of comedic relief I've seen in a long time. A lot of sad fiction writers think they need to be 100% sad, but good writers know how to use a little comedy to let their readers relax before breaking their hearts. Also the soap water was a good one too.

Too rushed for me. Everything is so short and succinct that you can't really feel the emotional weight of it. Pace needs to be slowed down, imo.

5040149
It's a fair opinion, it is rather fast paced. I did do this on purpose however, so I can't really apologize for it. I do acknowledge that the pace of the story does affect the mood, let alone that this is not even meant to be the power chapter.

Thanks for your input, I really appreciate it.

5040180 If this isn't the 'power' chapter as you call it, I might ask, why bother writing it? Would it not be just as, if not more evocative for the reader to find out all that has changed with Twilight instead of before her? This chapter seems a lot like an info dump, showing a lot of events that could have been given real emotional weight if they had been given some build up, but the presentation thereof has robbed them of that opportunity. Now we know all this has happened, and as a result, instead of being able to have the reader feel emotion alongside Twilight, all that is left is feeling emotion in reaction to Twilight when she encounters these events. I feel it is a missed opportunity. The overarching questions in all of this, I suppose: Why does the reader need to know all of these things before Twilight does? What purpose does it serve? Not necessarily questions that need to be answered, but perhaps something to think about. As a singular example of a reader who didn't quite get into this, these issues are what really kept me from doing so.

None of this is malicious, mind you, and I hope I do not come off as arrogant, but I always feel an honest response is more useful than a needlessly flattering one.

5040198

None of this is malicious, mind you, and I hope I do not come off as arrogant, but I always feel an honest response is more useful than a needlessly flattering one.

No, your concerns are valid. Things that I should think about.

Heh. Quite ironic that she wakes up when all her friends are dead. Now that is a satisfying ending.

Sorry if I don't see the "deeper meaning". I'm being told more and more often that I don't look nearly deep into things, and I'm afraid it's true.

Well, that happened... Don't know what I was expecting. Sad... Ugh

I like how the ending feels like it sets up the beginning of a new adventure for Twilight, where she has to find her place in new world (like in Captain America and Futurama), make new friends (and enemies) and maybe be introduced to a new generation of Elements of Harmony and stuff like that.

And as for new villains, well....I wonder what Spike has been up to all this time...

I like what you have done so far. I hope you have more to add to this story. It gets an upvote because I like the premise.
Hopefully, you can find a good proofreader that won't bail on you. (I know how that feels, believe me.) However, you didn't smeg up too many times.

5106317

I hope you have more to add to this story. It gets an upvote because I like the premise.

I have more, about two more chapters worth. And thanks for the upvote.

Tidal said he could help me with the next part, so I now have some help with this story.:rainbowwild::raritystarry:

Again, thanks for reading.

5106317
Would you mind pre-reading the next chapter? I'm about done with it and it should be complete tomorrow. 1/5/15

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