Young Hope Feathers and her older brother Silent Peace have lived alone in the forest with nopony besides each other for as long as they could remember. But what happens when a prophesy forces them to leave behind all that they ever knew, and embark on an epic quest. A quest that many ponies had started yet none survived.
Will they be able to fore fill the prophesy and bring peace to back to a land stained by decades of bloodshed, or will they fall short just like those who came before
There's only one way to find out!
please coment
Chapters (3)
so how did i do? please tell me any questions, comments and/or concerns that you may have
i can't get better if i don't know what i did wrong, now can i?
I can't help but think of Zelda when i read the description.
Just for that you get a thumbs up.
Righto, so I found some spelling mistakes, but I'm not going to be too hard on you for it, because you're dyslexic and all...
Here I go:
"Silent Peace put a forehoof under her mussel direct her head back towards his own allowing him to look her in her large, teary, golden eyes."
That should be muzzle, you put the name of a shellfish there instead.
"a simple jester that provided both of them with the courage"
Gesture, not the palace clown, I'm afraid.
“Come on Hope, let’s start making diner.”
Should be dinner.
That's all I've found, and, except those teeny little errors, that was a brilliant start! I'm liking the characters you've got going here, so keep it up!
I'm keepin' an eye on this one.
-- TwilitLightning
PS. If you need an editor/ proofreader, just send me a PM, because i'd love to give a helping hand with this!