Ponies on Bronies

by Ravenmane

17 - Earthbound

“So what is it we’re doing exactly,” Rarity asked me as the five of us walked towards the library.

“Well, I feel like we need to clear the air a little,” I told her. “I also have to tell Twilight that Rainbow’s moving in.”

Even from the corner of my eye I could see her mischievous smirk. “Trouble in paradise?”

“No, just want to tell her and ask if she’ll follow suit.”

“So Alley’s getting us to help if she wants to,” Pinkie added cheerfully.

“You don’t think,” Rarity paused, “there’s no way you could expect me to… why no that’s silly. Twilight moving out of the library, it’s just-just silly.”

“Probably will happen,” I said confidently. “Afraid you’ll get dirty,” I added with a smug glance of my own.

“Why no, no of course not. In fact, I have no reason to doubt that if she wants to Twilight we be ready faster than we can expect.”

Pinkie’s spontaneity got the better of Rarity’s comeback as she burst into a fit of giggling. “Dirty… Rarity,” she managed to get out before doubling over a second time.

I simply smiled, if she had been preparing it, she would’ve been voicing it a bit more. If she was ready then I wouldn’t mind being pleasantly surprised. “Twilight might panic, feel rushed, try to make a list, get Spike to get busy packing while she double checks things, beg me to explain why I put her on th-” My list was cut short by smacking face first into something very hard that was visible just as I collided with it. “Ouch.”

“Ew, you alright,” Applejack asked me.

I quickly checked, everything was still in place save for an oozing liquid from my nose. “Bloody nose, it’s nothing special. Now, was I not paying attention to where I was going or was that not there a second ago?”

“Ah didn’ see it but how about you scoot yer caboose, might’ve been there the whole time.”

I was more than happy to comply. As I stepped away, all I saw was the smear of blood, hanging eerily in the air. “Well that’s… disturbing.”

“Only if you stare at it,” confirmed Pinkie. “Now everypony stand back, we’re gonna need to speak to Twilight and I’m gonna be brilliant!”

I only had to hear those last words to escalate to a terrified state of mind. “She’s not gonna give us a second warning, duck for cover!”

Nobody really needed a warning, ducking behind anything that seemed like it would provide some form of cover. It did however; help clear the area more than anything could. With Rarity ducking behind a large planter and both AJ and me running around a corner, Pinkie was free to execute her plan.

I peered around the corner and saw her party cannon being carefully aimed towards the library. “First I add few streamers,” Pinkie sang to herself, “now a little confetti and a hat or two…” Next to the cannon were a few small barrels, each with their own unusual label. “Hmm, gonna need more than that.” My eyes swelled and I darted back behind the corner. Pinkie had disregarded adding ingredients carefully in favor of forcing whole barrels into the party cannon.

“Bad,” Applejack asked me.

“Cover your ears.”

*****

A few streets away…

“Bon Bon,” called Lyra from the living room couch, “how’s dinner coming?”

Bon Bon glared out the window, refusing to accept how lazy Lyra was being. “How about you go out to Sugarcube Corner or something, it’ll be a while still.”

“Is there anyth-”

“Not at all,” the earth pony quickly interrupted. “Just go out and enjoy a cupcake or something.”

Lyra sighed. “Alright, want me to get you anything?”

“I’m fine.”

“Kay,” Lyra said as she opened the door, “see you soon.”

“Don’t forget your rent’s due next week,” Bon Bon called after the lyricist as the front door slammed shut. “Free at last,” she told herself with a contented sigh.

Lyra locked the door, adjusted her scarf, and started making her way towards the main road. “Pass the library, say hi to Twilight, then go see what the Cakes have got…”

*****

Up in the sky…

Rainbow Dash’s front door slammed open as she flew out with a box between her forelegs and a second on her back. “Come on Fluttershy, we gotta get moving!”

“I’m on my way Rainbow Dash,” the demure mare replied. Fluttershy nervously flew out of the cloudhouse’s threshold and tailed her friend on their way towards Alex’s house.

I really hope we can get over there before I gotta explain my little box here, Rainbow thought as she glanced to the ‘Do Not Touch’ box between her forelegs. No doubt Twi will think it’s really weird. Just hope Al doesn’t mind it much. Yeah, that’s what really counts.

*****

Ground zero…

Applejack and I managed to drag Rarity back with us as Pinkie started to count down at a haphazard pace.

“I can’t believe she managed to stuff that last one in,” yelled Rarity as she tried to pierce our muffled ears.

I nodded my head and caught a glimpse of a minty green pony down the road. “Lyra,” I called, “take cover!”

She glanced to me, looked towards the party pony, and dove for cover.

Along with the sound of… well a cannon, not something anyone expected from the confetti-spewing device, we felt the shockwave of the overloaded party weapon. “Kay, safe now,” called Pinkie.

I peeked around the corner and saw a bit of everything scattered in every direction and a pink haze surrounding Pinkie and her party cannon. Hesitantly I came out in the open and proceeded into the haze.

What met me was Pinkie, her body covered in streamers and glitter while her face was flattened against the magical barricade. “I see some stuff over there.”

I put my face against the barrier as well and tried to make out what Pinkie was talking about. “I think I see a rubber chicken. You see one?”

“I don’t remember packing a canoe,” she replied.

“What about the toboggan?”

“I remember that one Alley. It was super hard to stuff in and I had to leave it sticking out. You see the cake?”

“Yeah, how did that survive intact?”

Pinkie simply giggled in reply as everyone else joined us in the gradually clearing pink smoke.

“Cool crack in Twilight’s magic,” commented Lyra as she pointed a hoof at the gash in Twilight’s magical field. She traced the crack that you could barely shove a bit through. “Man, so even Princess Celestia’s prized student has her limits. Nice job Pinkie.”

“Well, I didn’t want to outdo Twilight but she’s gotta let us in. We have stuff to talk about and everypony’s gotta get in for that to happen.”

“Oooh, can I come along?”

I weighed the possibility of what Lyra would do if she knew everything. She’d freak out if she didn’t know come the first interview after whenever our plan would go off.

“What in the name of Luna’s moon is going on out here,” yelled Twilight from a window.

“We need to talk Twi,” I called back.

“What is it Alex?”

“Can we talk inside, you know, out of the cold and away from everyone in Ponyville?”

“Alright, I’ll come down and let you guys in.”

Lyra tugged on my sleeve with her magic and looked at me with big puppy dog eyes. “Please?”

“Alright,” I said as a hole appeared in Twilight’s barrier, “you can help.”

“Yes, wait, what do you mean by saying that I can help?”

I smirked as I advanced on the library’s door. “All will be made clear…”

*****

Inside the library, everything was neat and tidy. In fact, I’ve never seen it this clean. I could chalk messiness up to Twilight searching for something from time to time or the occasional book checked out. It was just… alien to see it this clean.

“Listen here,” she snapped at me, “I’m trying to pack up and you come here with our friends to talk? What could we possibly have to talk about now?”

I gave her a stone cold glare. “We have to tell them about our visit from Luna. I want to be a better person than keeping something that careful from our friends.” I chose to ignore her comment about packing right now; I’d address that next.

“I know what you’re talking about but I’m a little busy here.”

“Then explain to me why you’re packing Twi.”

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m moving.”

I could hear it echoing in my ears constantly. My face went blank and I just stood there expressionless, like somepony drained the life from me. “Where,” I asked in a faint, deadpan voice.

“Oh I just hope he’s willing to let me move in.”

“Who’s this ‘he’ you’re talking about?”

Twilight smirked. “Who do you think I’m talking about?”

I came over to her side and kneeled down to hug her tightly. “I’m really happy I brought everyone Twi.”

“Uh, I didn’t see Rainbow or Fluttershy with you.”

“Well, I was gonna tell you I offered Dashie to move in and she said yes.”

“So we’re all thinking the same thing,” she casually teleported out of my grip. “Then Fluttershy’s helping Rainbow get squared away and… Rainbow doesn’t have a key and you locked the door didn’t you?”

I shrugged. “It’s a force of habit and we’ll need to make a few spares. So, how do you want to move your things over?”

“Well, for now I’ll have to leave my lab equipment in the library so we’ll be moving books, some clothes, and a few other things. I don’t think it should take too long.”

“Sounds good, care to dish out assignments?”

“Sure thing, Spike I want you to bring me the copy of the Magical Compendium, Volumes 1 through 36. I want you to handle that Alex. Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie, Lyra, and I will take those saddlebags I’ve prepared and Spike, I want you to-”

“No sweat Twi, I’ve got my bag all packed,” the dragon said as he carted out an enormous book for me.

“Alright,” grumbled Twilight, “I guess I’ll pick up the slack.”

“I’ll take Spike’s bag,” I said as I heaved the book into the air. “As long as it isn’t that heavy cause this thing feels like it weighs a ton.”

Spike tossed his bag over towards me. “It’s not that much,” he commented.

“Right,” said Twilight pleasantly, “so Spike you can get our pets then.”

Owlowiscious happily hooted at the order and flew down to roost on Spike’s head. This had the unfortunate side effect of making me snicker and make Spike scowl.

*****

By the time we reached the house, we saw Rainbow and Fluttershy clearing a path and a large stack of plain looking boxes. I appreciated the thought since we would be slipping and sliding a bit without one.

Rainbow caught sight of me and tossed her shovel into a large pile of snow. “So why did you lock us out?”

“Cause I always lock the door,” I said as I started up their pathway. “Everything’s here then?”

“Of course, and I even talked to Airheart about seeing the place next week. She’s happy she’ll see it without my stuff everywhere but I’ll have to head up there so I can clean it up a bit more.”

“Sounds good, we’ve got most of Twi’s stuff. Lend a hoof and do what she asks kay?”

“We’ll be all moved before you know it.” She flew back to the end of our little train and looked to Twilight. “What’cha want me to get?”

“I’ve got a nice case with my dresses back in my room, how about you get those Rainbow?” As Dash flew off, Fluttershy came in for her own assignment. As I set Twilight’s massive magical manual down I looked back and didn’t hear what Twilight asked the now beet red faced pegasus.

*****

It wasn’t long before everything was in the house and I stared at two mostly unremarkable containers in the master bedroom. The first was an ordinary box marked ‘Do Not Open’ and the other was a trunk with a large lock holding it shut. I could tell they both wanted something not to be mentioned, but I had no real clue what they were. I had helped lug the trunk up and heard the rustling of its contents, but what caused that eluded me. The box was far smaller and made no real sound so it was probably stuffed full. However, wondering about what secrets the duo wanted to keep was just stalling me from explaining to everyone what I wanted everyone assembled to talk about.

“-and that’s why I think everyone should save their questions until the end,” I heard from the living room as I descended to the ground floor.

“Ugh, they know that,” harped Rainbow, “we’re just waiting on Al so enough with the lousy instructions already.”

“It’s not really her fault,” I said as I came into the room, “Twilight’s just a little antsy Dashie.” I calmly took my seat and waited for both Twilight and Dash to take theirs.

In a way, it felt like we were back on Earth. Everyone was sitting exactly where they used to and attention felt drawn to me, even when I didn’t want it. “So, a few weeks ago Princess Luna visited me. We started talking and she left to get Twilight and Rainbow while I made dinner for the four of us.”

“Yes, I recall seeing Princess Luna,” interrupted Rarity. “Applebloom pointed her out as she left the library.”

“Hey yeah, I saw her and Rainbow Dash on their way over Bon Bon’s place,” added Lyra.

“Ladies,” harped Rainbow as Fluttershy’s mouth opened, “let Al finish.”

I gave Rainbow a curt nod and decided how to approach the situation. “Anyways, over dinner we, that is to say Twilight, Rainbow, and I, listened to what Princess Luna had to say. The short version of it is, the three of us agree that a family would be nice and we’d have to adopt to well follow through with that unless we took a few steps to adjust things.”

“What Alex means is that he’s going to become a pony,” Twilight explained.

“What,” Lyra yelled. “When? How? Why?”

“We’re waiting for details from Princess Luna.”

“But-But my book!”

“We can still work on the book,” I explained. “I just won’t, you know, have hands. Or toes… and I’ll have a tail.”

“No! Why?”

“Lyra,” I tried not to raise my voice. “Lyra, I’m doing this for only partially selfish reasons. I mean, let’s face it, I don’t think you can imagine how hard explaining things several times to an adopted filly or colt about the differences between them and dad.”

“You’d be a great dad Alley,” Pinkie said.

“Well we all agreed that foals would be nice,” Rainbow admitted. “That would mean foals of our own Pinkie.”

“But,” Lyra hesitated, “human. Proof! Why?!”

“Does Twilight Sparkle have to rough a filly up,” screamed Twilight as she glared at Lyra. “Well? Does she?”

“Twilight, down,” I chided, “count to ten or something.”

Her glare softened as she glanced towards me, probably silently counting to herself.

“Thanks Alex,” Lyra said with a sigh.

“I didn’t do that for you Lyra,” I told her tersely, “Twilight shouldn’t get her hooves dirty due to your greed. You want evidence and you want me to sacrifice my future. I won’t let that happen because my future won’t be as a human. I want a future with a family, Princess Luna gave us a solution and I am very appreciative of her desire to help.”

Pinkie raised her hoof and I nodded at her. “So, what’re you gonna be then Alley?”

“We don’t know,” replied a far calmer Twilight. “Princess Luna said we won’t know until it’s resolved.”

“Feeling better Twi,” I asked her. All she did to reply was nod. “Are there any other questions?”

“How will you handle things like unicorn magic or flying,” asked Fluttershy.

“We’ve got that covered,” replied Rainbow and Twilight simultaneously.

“Uh I actually have a question,” managed Spike. “I mean, does this mean that Alex, Rainbow Dash, Twilight, and me are all a family now?”

I hesitated, on the verge of just saying yes, but I saw the same expression of confused reason on Twilight’s face. I slowly looked around to everyone, some were curious while others seemed a little confused towards answering Spike’s question. Not to be like everyone else, Pinkie simply smiled like it was an obvious question with an obvious answer.

“It’s a little more complicated than that Spike,” I said once my jaw decided to work properly. “It’s more complicated but, yes, it makes us a family.”

“Might miss having my head in the clouds all the time,” commented Rainbow, “but I need to keep my hooves on the ground for the four of us.”

“Just be ready for a walk to work every morning Spike,” reminded Twilight with a giggle.

Comments

[the other sans]

And now we wait for Lyra to Don her ninja suit like the one you donated to me and sabotage things

[Bronze Statue]

Lyra, Lyra, Lyra....

[Mike32oz]

Really Lyra!.

[Ravenmane]

1945192 1946166 Yes, really.

1944910 You are onto something.

[Ravenmane]

2008545 Not late yet...