Ponies on Bronies

by Ravenmane

13 - Rarity: Evading The Talk

“Um do you mind us being here tonight Rarity,” asked a very nervous Sweetie Belle.

The fashionista did her best to hide her thoughts. “Not at all Sweetie Belle,” she lied.

“Hey girls,” called Applebloom from the window, “ah think ah saw Princess Luna.”

As everyone quickly gathered around the window, Rarity included, the lunar princess left the library’s balcony.

“She’s heading towards Rainbow Dash’s,” called Scootaloo as she followed the large figure’s ascent. “What’s she doing here, Nightmare Night’s like, a year away!”

“She’s doing the exact same thing Twilight’s doing,” said Sweetie Belle as she started to piece it together. “Why’s she and Rainbow Dash going to Alex’s house with Princess Luna?”

The three fillies turned to look directly at Rarity who was now nervously retreating towards the kitchen. “Well, eh, you see girls, when a stallion loves a mare a whole lot…”

“Ah know this,” exclaimed Applebloom. “Applejack told me all about the birds an’ the bees.”

“Well, that’s one way to put it I suppose,” Rarity said nervously.

“What do birds and bees have to do with anything,” asked Scootaloo nervously.

“Anyways,” she started with renewed vigor, “it’s about high time somepony gave you The Talk Sweetie Belle. Since I do not see mother here, I shall have to do the job myself. I’ll cover some of the subjects and some I shall withhold until you are older. I only ask that you interrupt sparingly as I will happily answer questions when I’m finished.

“I suppose I should start at the beginning. Young fillies and colts, around your age, begin to feel something new happening to their bodies. They grow, become more pronounced, young fillies transform into more appealing ponies. Colts will grow too, their voices will deepen, and, most important of all, become more interested in fillies. These are natural parts of growing up, so don’t worry your dear heads about it too much.

“Colts will, at this time become more attracted towards you, and will often do silly things to garner your attention. I warn you now, that a proper lady considers her choice in her special somepony before spending too much time together.”

~~~~~

Elsewhere in Ponyville, two mares and a human sneezed.

“Are you all catching something,” asked their royal company.

“I don’t think so,” replied the human.

“Yes,” added the unicorn mare. “I suspect somepony, despite my studies saying otherwise, is talking about us.”

“So, you were saying Princess Luna,” the pegasus began.

“Yes,” the lunar diarch said with a nod, “there is very little more to explain. I have presented you my theories and assumptions based off what Twilight Sparkle has told me and my own research into the realms of cross-species mating and reproduction.”

~~~~~

“You see girls,” stated Rarity, “as colts grow older they gain greater muscle mass, their chest get wider, legs firmer, and so forth. Much like colts, fillies also change. Your hips will widen, you Sweetie will have better control of magic, and I think your wings will fully develop too Scootaloo but don’t hold me to that.

“Anyways, that part should be saved for when you’re all older. What I suppose I should really be getting to is what sort of relationship is going on. I’m sure you are aware, like almost everypony else, that Alex, Twilight, and Rainbow Dash are all in a relationship.”

“Well yeah,” Sweetie interrupted, “it’s all most ponies are willing to talk about.”

“Yes Sweetie and it makes for boring conversation when everypony talks about the exact same thing for too long. Now, normally when a pony finds their very special somepony it’s very simple. A mare loves a stallion, is very simple after all. They have a very complicated relationship where both Rainbow Dash and Twilight love Alex. Interestingly enough, Alex is content enough to love them both just as much.

“At first, Twilight and Rainbow competed for time with Alex and it sparked a lot of wild stories throughout Ponyville. Why, when I met them all and tried to sort this whole affair out they were more content to let this three-pony relationship work for the time being. It appears as though it’s working as there has been no tension between any of them. Regrettably, I am kind of jealous of them.”

“An’ why’s that,” asked Applebloom.

“You see dear, they are all in agreement about so much in their lives and talk things out as a group that there isn’t much left for anypony to gossip about. Mostly what I hear is if they’re breaking up or not and, as a good friend, I would hope they would tell me if there are problems like that. I know it would be simpler if it were just a mare and stallion, but Alex isn’t a stallion, he’s a human and that gives their relationship an exotic feel to it.”

“‘Cause there aren’t other humans anywhere right?”

Rarity nodded. “That’s exactly right, I would expect Twilight to have known before we met Alex exactly what a human was but we had to learn on the spot as it were. Naturally, Pinkie was aware of far more than the rest of us, but she’s been saying that for ages.”

“Wait,” said Scootaloo as she shook her head, “so if Pinkie knew so much then why didn’t she and Alex feel the way Rainbow Dash and Twilight feel about him?”

“I happen to know this one quite well, Pinkie and I talked about it a little after Twilight and Rainbow got everything out in the open. I mean to say that while I enjoyed the drama of what was going on, I wanted to know why Pinkie never tried to make a move on Alex. She told me she likes him as a friend and that was all there was to it. How Alex acted around Pinkie confirmed this for me, he wasn’t interested in her just like she wasn’t interested in him.”

“So,” started Scootaloo hesitantly, “where do these birds and bees come into all of this mushy stuff?”

“You’ll know when you’re older,” Rarity said proudly. “What a young lady like you must know about is that you must start to show interest in young colts.”

Comments

[the other sans]

Applejack told be all about the birds an’ the bees

1. Me.

Oooh swell... This can not go well, despite the fact most of it has passed, I can sense something foreboding ahead... I just know it! That and my bones are still shaking from being mended back together at a certain prospect of meeting a certain pony again should I fail at a certain something if I decide to partake in that certain activity...

[Ravenmane]

1852367 She knows, I told her not to go for something so boring, that next time she should aim for something more... useful.

[the other sans]

1852372 You... I- No... You will not have your way foul heathen! And your little pet too!

[Ravenmane]

1852378 Don't worry, my new "employee" is far more effective...
th02.deviantart.net/fs71/200H/i/2012/228/a/1/lunatic_by_newlunaticrepublic-d5bc8vt.png

[thewookie1]

Rarity wants more love to gossip about, get the CMC to fill Alex and RD +Twi rumors.

Clever girl

[the other sans]

1852400 ... Buck, from this point on, I officially hate all alicorns as 'collectors'... Oh and earth ponies too