Page generated in 0.021 seconds
Total duration
697 users online
803,373 hits today, 1,822,946 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Maybe it wasent the smartest idea to read this before going to sleep. But i have one big problem. The nightmare. I acts like a psychotic trauma you recive after a traumatic experiance ( Ironic isnt it?). But it also shows signs of life. It acts like a living being or brain parasite. I am having a difficult time figuring it out here. But one thing is sure. It always has the two mares he love the most to steal his sanety with
You're still splitting the sentences over paragraphs, and separating the dialogue verbs from the dialogue itself...
Describing breasts to a pony doctor.......that's awsome!
4741662 Guess I still have a lot to learn, will look over myself right now.
Is 9:13 PM at the time of writing this.
4743202
Example:
...sounds like Pharn was the one booking the train.
But I could tell from 'Time to Seize' that you are getting better. I didn't have to re-read anything from that chapter. Still a few split sentances, but not as noticeable as this chapter.
4744106 Noted, admittedly I reread the chapter right now and can see that mistake, had to reread a few lines myself. :I
Will correct it now, thank you for outlining the specific problem. Have a picture of Aryanne (Nazi pony, good kind) eating a piece of bread like a hamster :D
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JYuW4ImMY6Y/UyZ2t_LHfTI/AAAAAAAAA0A/ortmkfdR2rY/s1600/Aryanne!2.jpg
interesting chapter, i see fluttershy getting more creepy by the second or maybe its the nightmare giving the impression of that. speaking of the nightmares i think it would have been better to not have dan having lucid dreams since it closes off other interesting scenes you could have written. the fact that he knows what to expect seems to kill interest in me each time he goes into the dream since its basically always the same gist.
don't know how creepy you intend to make fluttershy but im eager to see hows he turns out. also fking twilight LIEEEEEEEED
that ending sentence though very nice way to end it.
4763207 Will answer the first bit, the first chapter explained that his nightmares have become more and more frequent, more than he can handle. Is why you see more of that now than compared to earlier chapters, as it's getting closer to the two months.
Suspicious Daniel is suspicious. Try to think about it, but don't say your guess!
She had a supposed solution>She told Daniel to go to sleep>Daniel can't sleep because he's getting afraid to. Putting two and two together, you can have a pretty good guess, just don't post it! :p