Clover's world, our world, is grey and sad, interspaced by little pockets of green life. When a blast of angry red cuts through her monotony and takes away her family, all she wants is a place full of color and kindness.
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Rainbow Dash still hasn't gotten invited into the Wonderbolts, and turns to Twilight for help on a new trick. But when the accumulated magic involved gets restless, will the resulting accident destroy Equestria?
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Will add characters as they appear with major roles. Rated Teen for language and mild graphic description.
Chapters (1)
Sweet & Sour!
capturing slice of life is balancing these two. you seem to be doing it well.
A good start. understandable characters and an interesting plot.
i.imgur.com/HSEtz.jpg?1
I'll be keeping an eye on you.
maybe you can drop by and give me some pointers.
I'm writing an adventure right now and it's going to have some slice-of-life attachments.
Also, I didn't recognize what these were at first:
)*00*( ; )*00+00*(
if you want to use something to represent a scene change it should use symbols like:
^,*,-,~,_
and be in a floor or wall formation placed in the middle of the page
^^^^^^^^^
***********
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____________________
So... does she actually look like a pony or is she completely mutated? I found that a few places were hard to understand in this story. One part being the trick that rainbow was trying to do while the other was the description of Clover. I felt that the information jumped around a bit much (probably the source of confusion)
I do like this story, though. I am definitely going to keep an eye on it to see how it progresses.
"She creamed again."
Dear god I hope that's a typo.
Other than that, looks good. Will be following.
privacy be damned, lol
am favoriting this!
Oh so she became like an antro-pony hmm Lyra would love to meet her
435830
Oh, it is. Dang it. Thanks for catching that! 
435605
I try to make things like that more original, and since I use ones with different meanings it makes it even harder. I'll try to come up with a better system, but until then, I'll have to ask you to deal with
)*00*( for a while, since that means scene/perspective/information change. Whereas )*00+00*( was for the world-flop.
435681
I knew that the Lightstream would be hard to understand the first time through, no worries. It was meant to be for more visual people, someone who could take imagery and turn it into a mental image. I'm working on illustrations, but they will have to wait. The story takes precedence.
As for the new look, consider her as anthropomorphic half-pony, half-human. I really thought that by combining Twilight's observations and Clover's own awakening, you could get a clear picture, but I guess I'll have to elaborate later. Oh well!
436414
So be it.
436248
You'll be surprised with which version of Lyra I support.
438699 lol
438699 I can't wait for the next chapter. It's going to be so Awesome!
436524
Done. Re-formatted to fit your brain. clarified a few errors, as well, though no doubt there are more.
532214 Good job! it's looking better already!
I can't wait for another chapter
Mmm, not bad!
Nitpicking: The bit with the fire just seemed to go too fast.
Your writing style is quite skillful, with excellent description work. I approve of there being more of this: Take some moustaches and a green thumb that I found.
Not nitpicking: Multilevel Rainboom aeronautical manouevres, molten wheelchairs, keyboards stamped on rears, and an interesting story idea. Not sure what the main conflict will be, but I like it!
4/5
593557
Well, thank you! That was certainly a surprise, hearing you were going to read this! Thank you for the comment, and I'll keep that one nitpick in the back of my head for later! 
593583 I owed you for the fave
But, in all seriousness, please do continue this. I like where it's going, and I have no idea where that even is.
593613 And isn't that just the best part?!
One of the reasons I track new stories, actually. They could go anywhere! 
593625 As good a reason as any to track somethin'
677617 Woah.
Now you really are everywhere I go. 
677650 My username on there is the same as here.