Medical Science
The rooster’s crow signaled the morning for everypony in Ponyville. The annoying sound resonated through out a library tree house causing one mare to angrily wake up. With a sigh, she lazily rolled out of bed, and, with an animated plop, she slammed into the ground. She wanted more sleep, but deep inside-past the pain from the floor- she knew that no one else could run the library like she could. She began walking to the restroom, yet the rooster bellowed its sound again. The mare closed her eyes, levitated the pillow, and tossed it towards the rooster.
“Cockle-Doodle- D-AcChhh”
The mare, who everyone knew as Twilight Sparkle, smirked as she started to comb her hair. “That would teach the rooster to do what it did naturally.” She thought. As she finished her morning routine, the smell of breakfast drifted to her nostrils. As if she was summoned by Celestia herself, Twilight ran for the dining room. In her misguided attempts to obtain food, Twilight accidentally slipped, and fell down the stair case. On the way down, she hit every stair in a different contorted position. She hit the bottom with her hind leg stretch wrapped around her neck. Luckily, the yoga classes had been paying off, so Twilight was more flexible than ever; she simply retracted her leg.
“Twilight, are you okay?” asked Spike as he looked around the corner.
“No, Spike. I just had a simple fall.” Twilight said. She began walking to the table, yet the vibrations from her footsteps caused a bookshelf, loosely attached the wall, to fall on top of her. A large dust cloud, formed in the room causing Spike to cough and shield his eyes. When it receded, all he could see were two, lavender hooves stretching out from under the wooden structure.
“TWILIGHT!!” screamed Spike. He tried to lift the feeble structure, yet his cause was futile. The young dragon was too weak-and a bit too chubby- to lift the bookcase.
With all hope lost, he began to cry, yet stopped when the lavender hooves retracted into the bookcase. Within moments, the back of the bookcase exploded open revealing an unharmed Twilight. “I’m alright. I’m alright.” She said, “Now let’s eat.” She began to happily walk to the kitchen, but was unaware of the tiny, Minuscule, almost non-existent piece of wood sticking up from her wood floor. With confidence in each step, Twilight stepped right on it.
“AH!!!!” Twilight yelled as she fell to the floor, “Spike…I’ve been hit! Call the guards!”
Spike instinctively ran to his caregiver. She lifted up her hoof, and he inspected it thoroughly. He shook his head once he realized Twilight was being over-dramatic. “Twilight, you have a splinter. The smallest I've ever seen.”
“Spike, what are you talking about?” Twilight asked, “What in Celestia’s name is a splinter?”
“Hmmm, well Ms. Sparkle, I’ve never seen anything like it in all my years as a medical professional.” said Nurse RedHeart as she looked over numerous X-rays.
“What do you mean?! It’s a simple splinter!” explained Spike.
Unable to be convinced of her disorder, Twilight decided to go to the hospital. This only worsened her fears when even the medical professionals couldn’t diagnose her disorder. Spike’s explanations didn’t help either. They were too simple, and childish to actually explain the pain she was in. She couldn’t help, but look at her hoof when it began to throb. The wound was a swollen, darker purple area than the fur around it, which made Twilight wonder how a wound could be seen through her fur.
“Can you cure me, Nurse?” Twilight sincerely asked.
“We can try…” Nurse RedHeart replied.
A team of medical ponies walked into the room to administer multiple tests: blood test, magic test, physical test, mental test, urinary test, and certain test that made Twilight feel- uncomfortable. No matter what, the test proved fruitless. Whatever was in her causing Twilight’s hoof to hurt couldn't be found. Medical technology hadn't come that far.
“Listen, son. We’re doctors here. We know what we’re doing. We’ll have your mom all better soon.” comforted one doctor.
“It is just a splinter!” Spike hollered
Not able to diagnose the problem, the doctors had to assume the worse. They put Twilight in a plastic bubble to protect her, but more to protect the ponies of the town from the unknown. Purified air would be pumped into the bubble through a series of magical pumps. Twilight said inside the bubble, sad, heart broken, and somewhat violated from the earlier test. Outside the bubble sat the annoyed Spike. He kept grumbling something unintelligible to himself.
“…” said Twilight. When she saw Spike’s confused look, she remembered that she had to press the speaker to talk.“Oh, Spike, I fear they may never find out what’s wrong with me.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you…” Spike replied.
“Of course there’s something wrong with me, Spike!” Twilight eyes began to tear, “It’s just the doctors can’t figure out what’s wrong with my hoof.”
Spike mentally cursed all ponies. “Twilight, you have a very tiny splinter in your hoof. It is actually very common. Especially since you leave in a house...located in a tree.”
“Spike…no one knows what a splinter is! Is that some made up name for whatever I have?!”
“Wood went into…ARG!”
Spike couldn’t hold in his rage anymore. With his claws-that he had sharpened at the spa- Spike slashed the plastic bubble open. The cold air forced its way out of the bubble. The dragon ran toward the pony with mercy not in his eyes. Twilight clenched for impact, yet only felt Spike gently lift up her hoof. With his free hand, he used two claws to quickly pluck out the small, wooden problem. Instantly, Twilight’s hoof began to feel better, and the swelling began to go down. She couldn’t believe what her friend her had done.
“Spike! You did it!” Twilight cheered as she hugged her baby dragon.
“No need to thank me. “Spike sighed as he flicked away the splinter, “It was literally nothing…”
It had been a week since Twilight’s incident. Spike thought it would end there, but no. It had gone farther than he would have ever expected.
“For accomplishments in Medical Science, we give the Medal of Innovation to Spike the dragon. He single handedly cured and named the dreaded disorder known as “Splinters”. Because of this, thousands of other cases were solved resulting in many cured ponies and happy families.” Celestia said using the Royal Canterlot Speaking Voice. The crowd below her cheered as Celestia lowered the pure gold award around Spike’s neck. “Any words, young hero?”
“It was just a splinter…”
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@MoltenXKid...
Might have been funnier if it had ended with alicorn'd Princess Spike.
... so basically they don't need technology cause they have magic but they're too stupid to use it correctly. Wow.
Well, so eager to have us read another story that you shove the link right after the conclusion sentence? Not even a cursory sentence seperation?
A bit sloppy of execution, but a cute enough story. I agree with 4646810 , leave the plug for your next story in the author's notes, not in the story itself on the same line as the end.
4646810 Well actually that was a mistake. I fixed it but thanks for bring it to my attention
lol
such a huge accomplishment should have earned Spike an Alicorn power upgrade or something, maybe he can cure some other really small and simple "Medical" issues and go down in history as the greatest healer of all time 
*eyetwitch*
I found this Very amusing and fun to read thanks for writing this then.
This made me laugh. I can actually see this sort of thing happening in the world of MLP... like, all the time.
And now you've gotten me thinking. In the show we've seen a pretty wide range of medical tech, but I have to wonder what their standards of medical knowledge are. What's in their doctors' power to heal, and do they overlook things that would come naturally to all of us?
I also really like how you portrayed Spike the voice of reason/ Captain Obvious. I feel the way everyone ignores him until his theory is proven true, and gets results is very much like how things happen in pretty much any field of research in real life.
That was just, wow, I can't even comprehend this hilarity
.
This is comedy gold.
Comedy gold man. This was pure genius!
Yes, that's right
Twilight, tonelessly, droning said
DOT. Dot. Dot.
out loud
yes
4651923 Well with the dreaded splinter in your hoof, who knows what a pony might say or do? Let's be glad she survived the horrible disorder
I love this!
It was interesting but ultimately a bit silly.
How did Spike learn this arcane word 'splinter' if neither of his parental figures (Celestia and Twilight) knew of it? How does it exist in the Equestrian language? Why is Spike so calm when those around him - those he learned from, those he emulates, those he admires - are panicking so much? How did ponies get to building skyscrapers and airships and trains without the knowledge to, I dunno, take little bits of wood out of a hoof?
Yes, I know it's meant to be silly but it stretched my suspension of disbelief too far to be entirely enjoyable. I suppose it's one of those cases where it just doesn't click for me. It could have worked, I suppose, if it was something as non-threatening but more rare. Sorry man, it was a bit too 'out there' to really do it for me.
Good luck.
EDIT: I canut spel rite.
4653634 Uh...uh...(>_>)...uh...ERM...(<_<)...maybe...uh...Error...the author you have contacted is no longer available.
4653723
Sorry! I really am! This should be right up my alley! But ... it's just too much, ya know? Maybe if it was the common cold? Ponies wiped it out thousands of years ago but Zecora is the 'straight mare' and the zebras know about it because they lack the pure magical abilities of ponies?
Zecora's hard to write for though ... maybe Sweetie Belle? They were dragging that stallion away in an ambulance but she did say he had a 'terrible cold.' I dunno how she'd know it though ... I'm saying it could work with some adjustments, that's what I'm saying.
And really, aside from the suspension thing that kicked me out of it, it is pretty amusing. It's good! It's just ... got issues. Ya know? Maybe 'revisit' the idea in a slightly modified way?
EDIT: I still lack basic spelling ability.
4653753 Hmm I see what you mean. Plus the common cold does seem somewhat like a better route. I suppose I didn't really think it out from Spike's side. Unfortunately, me and re-visitation go together like water and electricity. Thanks for feedback though. Hope to see more of critics around
LOL!!
This quick read, it amuses me. Well done!
Just one problem...
It was just a splinter...LOL
Said everyone ever after stepping on a LEGO, stubbing their toe, and impaling themselves with wood, A.K.A., the 'Splinter' disorder.
4650357 Agreed. And am I the only one who could totally see Spike curing Cooties?
Knowing how things work there, I wouldn't be surprised if Cooties was a real disease there.
This has no right to be as funny as it is. Well done. Never do it again.
4653634 Maybe he learned about splinters from fellow dragons on the mountain during that one episode about the great dragon migration.
Oh my gosh...
This made me laugh so hard!! 
that actually made me laugh, good work sir
Love it...but one question though. How is it that Spike knows what a splinter is and no pony else does. He has been raised and around ponies his entire life and not a soul figured this out. This either makes Spike's powers of observation incredible or all of pony kind is...dumb. Still loved the story either way.
4646722
Just like we have technology but no magic and don't (always) use it correctly.
Oh my Glob!!! Twilight is so frikin' cute in the picture!!!
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/500x/52323814.jpg
4668855 Thanks for making my day
4668981
Hearing that from the author truly is an honor
4664949 well, we might have magic. No one knows. You have to admit though, there is a lot of evidence that the supernatural is real, and science is really just in denial about it. Unseen forces dragging people away, cold spots in the middle of rooms, smells from no where, breezes that shouldn't exist, mysterious figures, bad feelings, being touched by someone who's not there, voices on tape that didn't happen, a million other things. And science doesn't even try and explain it. So until further notice, it's magic.
Very fun thanks for sharing
4717463 No problem mate. anytime
4717504 Thanks for the reply
Why they don't know what a splinter is?
4762963 Because uh...I needed a plot.
4680716
The only scientific objection to the existence of magic is how to focus the energy to perform what is actually scientifically possible but most don't understand,which is a problem unicorns don't have because they have a natural body part to focus it.
4890978 So until further notice, screw science!
4902893
No,until we get to Equestria so we can study magic,screw magic
4907600 I refuse! Besides, science has promised us plenty of things that don't even close to exist. We were apparently supposed to live in Paradise by now, yet here we are. There's still things like Disease, war, poverty, unemployment, starvation, murder, general violence, and the like. Besides, ever heard of ghosts? Most people don't believe in them, simply because they can. They don't have any real reason not to, they simply don't. But when evidence of such things come up, they deny it. What science cannot explain, they simply dismiss. Instead of attempting to explain it, they simply ignore it, offering downright stupid excuses for not even trying, just because modern science doesn't have an explanation. People that vanish into thin air, objects moving without reason, people being inexplicably healed, tapping from no one, voiced that didn't happen but appear on film, animals that come from nowhere, and vanish when touched, smells that don't have an origin. All of it thrown out with a simple, "a trick of the light." We'll unscrew science when it actually starts trying to explain it.
4907600
4912850
What started out as a fan fiction about a pony getting a splinter evolved into a debate of magic vs. science.
4912850
But also,equestria probably has their own version of the Third law making the equestrian version 'any technology is indistinguishable from sufficiently advanced magic
Your argument is valid,but I disagree with most of the scientific community,as most of these things you say modern science can't explain,it can,just no one has thought enough. Beside,it's just me being sad that we can't figure out how to make magic,which,also,Arthur C. Clarke
4915299 we both know that laws a pile of bullshit.
4916120
You are incorrect,even if I thought the law was a pile of ponyfeathers,which I don't,it wouldn't be know,it would be think because that is a matter of opinion.