My Little Attorney

by CroakerGamer

Royal Family Trial

My full name is Stare Decisis. It means, “Let the decision stand.” In the judicial system, it refers to a retrial or similar trial not even getting to be heard and receives the same verdict that the previous case received. Stare Decisis didn’t really catch on though, so ponies just call me Star Dice. I just graduated from law school two months ago, so I’m a rookie. A newbie. I earned a job at Writ Habeas Law Firm, a small business that doesn’t get too much attention or work. That is, until Princess Celestia wrote a letter to my boss. So I ask you, how in Sweet Filly Celestia’s name did I get in charge of such a high ranking case!

The Princess requested that I come to Canterlot and act as a Defense Attorney in a court case. The letter was very vague, but work is work I guess. Before I knew it, I had packed my things and was on the next train to Canterlot.

When I arrived at the train station, guards greeted me and escorted me to the Canterlot Castle to meet with the Princesses, Celestia and Luna. My mind was a whirlwind of questions as we trotted to the castle. My body was on autopilot, following the guards towards my first trial. You could say I was a bit Star Struck, no pun intended…

What in Equestria caused Princess Celestia to request a lawyer? Why had she picked me? Was she my client? What accusations were being charged? Only time held the answers.

We traveled through the castle until we came to some big doors. The guards pushed to doors open to a throne room. As I walked in I observed my surroundings. Princess Celestia sat with Princess Luna by her side. There were two other seats that were empty. For some reason that struck me as odd. The Princesses’ faces seemed stern, almost cross, as if I had angered them. I bowed quickly, thinking that was the cause of their fury. As I lifted my head, I found that I was not the subject of their rage.

“You must be Star Dice,” Princess Celestia addressed me. “I’m so glad you could make it here in such a short time. And on short notice. You have my thanks.”

I couldn’t help but feel flattered. It wasn’t every day a Princess gave you a compliment. I blushed and managed a laugh and stammered, “N-No problem.”

Princess Celestia laughed at my reaction. “I assume you are ready for your assignment now. Am I correct?”

I blushed even harder, this time for ignorance. I looked down at the floor and admitted, “I-I don’t really know anything about the trial.”

As my eyes raised back towards the princesses, I noticed their faces weren’t angry, but sad. They were desperate for a Defense Attorney. I was chosen by them, I couldn’t reject any cry for help, no matter how big or small. “But I’m willing to give it my best shot,” I finally admitted. They seemed pleased with my answer.

“Good. I’m glad you have accepted.” Princess Celestia’s face seemed hopeful for a few moments. However, her look turned dark quickly, probably due to the fact that she must tell me my duties for this case and the cause of the trial. She took a deep breath and started the explanation.

“Yesterday, two murders took place in the castle.”

Okay, hold on. What?! My first trial is a murder case?! My heart sank. No, wait. It disappeared. My heart left my body along with my confidence. I waited for the explanation to get better.

“One victim was the head of the Royal Guards in the Crystal Empire, Shining Armor. The other was Princess Cadence.” She paused. A long silence filled the room.

I couldn’t breathe. My lungs must have left, too. A murder trial of… an alicorn princess and her husband! Well, couldn’t get any worse, right?

The Princess took another breath. “The murderer was apprehended, Princess Twilight Sparkle.” This sentence choked up Princess Celestia. Tears formed in her eyes. She turned to Princess Luna for assistance.

Buck me. That explains the empty seats. They were for Princess Cadence and Twilight. I couldn’t ask any questions yet, but I wish I could. Just sit through the rest of the information then explode with questions, Star.

Princess Luna continued the story. “The crime scene is located in the bathroom of the castle. We don’t have much information, and we apologize, but even Princesses aren’t allowed on the scene of the crime. We do know, however, that Twilight has admitted to both murders.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My first case, the murder of a princess and the highest ranking guard, killed by another princess?! And she’s admitting to the crime… How am I supposed to get a not guilty verdict on this one? The princesses couldn’t even answer my questions. They knew nothing about this case. But if the princesses think I should be her attorney, then I guess first thing’s first. Question my client.

I tried to speak to Princess Luna, but words couldn’t come out at first. I closed my mouth and tried again, “Princess Luna, can I have directions to the Detention Center in Canterlot? I need to speak with Princess Twilight Sparkle.”

“I will escort you myself.” Princess Luna stood up and trotted with me toward the doors.

“Star, before you go,” Princess Celestia stopped us, “know this. I believe there is more to this case than what Twilight will want you to believe. I can give you the privilege to investigate the crime scene, since you are a law pony. Please, find the truth and execute a fair trial tomorrow.”

My eyes lit up. I only had a day to investigate! And it was already one in the afternoon!

“Come, Star. Let’s go met your client,” Princess Luna encouraged. “Time is not on your side.”

I followed Princess Luna to the Detention Center. She walked with a brisk pace, showing she was very much aware of my time crunch. Guards brought up the rear for protection. For some reason, I felt they weren’t just guarding the princess. It felt like I was the one who needed protecting.

“You’re on the outside now, Star.” Princess Luna admitted, almost reading my mind. “I was once in the same position. No one agreeing with my decision. The minority, if you will. However, this time it’s about you. We’ll be here for your protection, nothing more”.

I replied, “Thank you,” as we reached our destination. Were ponies so judgmental and set on the fact that Princess Twilight was the murderer? Or was it that I’d be wasting every pony’s time trying to prove her not guilty?

As the princess opened the door she said, “Good Luck,” and took off back in the direction of the castle.

I asked a mare at the front desk to see Princess Twilight Sparkle.

Her response was, “She won’t be for long.”

“Pardon?” I asked.

“A princess, darling. Don’t tell me you’re her lawyer. Dear Celestia, I would NOT want to be in your horseshoes,” she said. She spoke to one of the guards behind her to place Twilight in Communication Room 1. “Hear that?” She addressed me again. “Room 1, first door on your right.”

As I trotted to the room she yelled, “And hey, do use all a favor and lose that trial. Everypony knows she’s done it.” I just kept on trotting.

Communication Room 1, huh? Must not have many criminals in Canterlot, or at least ones that need to be seen at this time. The room was somewhat crude. A glass window separating the accused from the lawyer. There was even a slotted portion of the wall so sound could carry through, and a camera on either end of the glass. A guard brought in a very distraught Princess Twilight Sparkle and sat her down in front of me. He stayed next to the door while we spoke, probably to help out if she started acting up.

My nerves got the better of me. Sitting in front of me was an alicorn princess and a possible murderer. And I was her lawyer. No pony said anything for the longest time. She looked down at the ground, a true sign of guilt.

I started, “P-Princess Twili-”

“Don’t call me that! I can’t be a princess if I killed my own brother!” She shouted. This outburst caused the guard to stiffen and be prepared for anything.

“Umm, okay. Sorry, uh, Twilight, Ms. Sparkle, I mean.” She calmed down and resumed her staring at the floor. “If you haven’t guess,” I continued, “I’m your lawyer. Princess Celestia sent me.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Please, just get out of here.” She replied.

“Why would I do that?” I asked. I knew the answer. Princess Luna told me she confessed. Twilight knew if I tried to defend her it would ruin my reputation as a lawyer. Then again, what reputation did I have? This was my first case!

Continuing to look down, she replied, “Because I did it. I killed Shining.” She isn’t looking at me straight in the eyes, a key sign that she’s lying.

“Ok, now look me in the eyes and say that.”

“Are you ordering me around? I’ll have you know I’m still a princess. You can’t tell me to do anything.”

Gees. She just relinquished her status as a princess a few seconds but still wants to be treated like one? I guess I should watch what I say anyway. I am still talking to royalty. “S-Sorry. Now, can you tell me what happened that night?”

“I told you, I killed him! What else could you need! You’re going to lose this case. Just get out of here while you can.”

This is getting me nowhere. If she’s not going to tell me what’s happened, I’ll just have to investigate myself.

As I got up to leave she mockingly said, “Good, run away.”

“Don’t worry, Princess,” I replied with a sense of rebellion. “We’ll met again.”

The crime scene was an organized mess. Only a few guards remained. Time was running out and their conclusions were already concocted. As I passed the “POLICE: DO NOT CROSS” tape, the biggest guard yelled at me, “Stop, who do ya’ think you are!” He was one of Princess Luna’s Royal Guards. In fact, he was the only bat-pony there.

“I’m here on duty,” I replied. “Princess Celestia said I could investigate here.”

“Hold up. You’re th’ one who’s defendin’ Twilight Sparkle? Ha! Yeah, good luck, pal! I should have ya’ know we wiped the place clean. No more evidence to find. Looks like that’s another leg up th’ prosecutor’s got on ya’!”

So, they aren’t going to share any information about the evidence found today, huh? We’ll see about that. “Prosecutor? Who are you talking about?”

The guard laughed, “Ya’ don’t know? Wow, you really are gunna lose. His names Moe, Moe Dirt.”

“That’s a strange name.”

“Yeah, they say it’s ‘cause he digs up all th’ dirt of th’ accused and then some more. That‘s why he hasn‘t lost a case. Ever.”

Hasn‘t lost a case, yet. “What kind of dirt does he get?”

“Tch, only the best. He doesn’t pick any small-time evidence, like th’ armor over there. No, he picks the best of the best. He makes his point up front. Cases are over in record time. He said, ‘All I need’s this sword.’ That‘s confidence.”

Or ignorance. So the armor was overlooked? I better keep that as evidence when they leave. Maybe take a picture, too. That armor is kind of far off, in the corner of the room. But, I should see if I can get any more information. “Any other dirt that Moe dug up?”

“Huh? Hey pal! I’m not supposed to tell ya’ what he’s got, ‘kay.”

I got a bit cocky, “But you just told me about this overlooked evidence AND the murder weapon.”

The bat pony guard’s face erupted in a red glow. He grit his teeth and charged at me, pinning me against the wall. Immediately, the wind was knocked out of me and I had a struggle to breathe. The sound had made a loud thud that caught the attention of the other guards that were left.

“Listen here, kid. Th’ princess is guilty. Guilty! If ya’ show up to court tomorrow, I’ll hit ya’ for real. Ya’ got me?” The guards pulled him off me and dragged him out of the room. The guard screamed as he was pulled away from the crime scene, “The name’s Detective Blackjack, kid! Remember it! Ya’ gunna have nightmare’s ‘bout it!”

Great. I’m getting threats from the detective himself. I’ll probably have to cross-examine him about the murder weapon first thing tomorrow.

I had to take a few moments to regain normal breathing. I had to admit, he clobbered the hay out of me. But, I WAS left by myself after that. I looked around for some more evidence when I came across the white chalk lines of the deceased. Two ponies had been killed here. With that thought, a chill ran down my spine. Eerie. I took a photo of the rooms layout, making sure the armor was in frame. Lastly, I placed the armor in a bag, making sure not to get my hoof prints on it. This could be vital evidence in court.

I looked closer at the chalk areas of the bodies. One was in the bath tub while the other was a few feet from the tub. A considerable amount of blood was in the tub, around the rim, and inside the chalk lines away from the tub.

Well, there is nothing else I can do here. And visiting hours closed a long time ago at the Detention Center. I guess all I can do know is get a good night’s rest for tomorrow’s trial.

Before I hit the hay, I thought about the detective. Everypony says first impressions are extremely important. But, after what Detective Blackjack had done, I wouldn’t be surprised if we never were able to cooperate. All I could do now was hope I didn’t have nightmares.

The next morning I woke up early and trotted to the court house. I thought I could talk to the princesses before the trial started, but the only one there was Twilight.

“Morning, Princess Twilight. Are you ready for today’s trial?”

“I told you to abandon me, didn’t I? Why won’t you let me remain guilty?!”

“To be honest, Princess Celestia believes there is more to this court case than what you’ve told us.” Twilight’s face lit up, as if she had been found out. “And I believe she’s right. Now, if you don’t mind sharing your motive…”

Twilight looked down at the floor, “I’m not telling you anything. Leave me alone.”

“Alright. But, you know, you don’t need me to lose your trial to get a guilty verdict. You can refuse the presence of a lawyer and allow the prosecutor to rip apart the case for what he believes is right.” Twilight’s disappointment seemed to remain the same.

“But you already knew that. Deep down, you want a not guilty verdict. You don’t have to tell me.”

The bailiff entered the waiting room and announced that we should take our spots. The trial was ready to start.

Twilight gave one last glance to me and whispered, “Good luck, Star.”

In the court room, there were two identical wooden bleachers on either side of the room for the audience to sit in. The defense and the prosecution were given a desk in front of the separate bleachers. The audience members seemed to be sitting more on the prosecutor’s bleacher instead of mine. In fact, no one was sitting in the defenses bleachers. What was this?! Some sort of trivial high school hoof ball game to them? Hmmp. Well, I would cheer for the underdog at least.

As you enter, the judge’s chair is elevated at the end of the room. In the judge’s chair sat and old stallion with a long gray beard and little gray strands of hair combed over his scalp. As for the prosecutor, he was a pudgy colt. He had a dark brown coat and an even darker mane. Looking closer at his desk, I realized he had had to wedge himself between the wall behind him and his desk. I almost laughed at the sight of his fat rolls laying on his desk. I, on the other hoof, had no problems with room at my desk. He must have been really obese.

The judge cleared his voice and slammed his gavel to get the audience’s attention.

“Court is now in session!” He boomed. “Mr. Dice, since this is your first trial, I find that I must test you on the material of this court.”

“Yes, Your Honor. Ask any question.”

“Don’t worry, Mr. Dice. These questions will not take long. In fact, they are quite easy in my opinion.” He asked simple questions: who I was representing, what she was charged with, etc. But then he asked a question that I couldn’t answer. “What is the penalty if Ms. Sparkle receives a Guilty verdict?”

“I-I don’t know, Your Honor.”

The judge glared at me, “Death, Mr. Dice. She will receive the death penalty.”

I turned my head to Twilight. Her face was just as shocked as mine. This must have been news to her, too. “I understand, Your Honor.”

“Good. Now, is the defense ready?”

Here we go, Star. No turning back. “The defense is ready, Your Honor.”

“And is the prosecution ready?”

“Born ready, Your Honor,” the prosecutor replied. “But first, Mr. Dice. We have not been properly acquainted. I am Moe Dirt. Please, do not prolong the trail to extend the time limit another day. I wish to be done with it today. I believe you will agree with me, Your Honor?”

The judge nodded. “Yes, this does seem like a quick case. But, the defense shall not be rushed, Mr. Dirt. Do not think you are in a position to do so. Now please, give your opening remarks, Mr. Dirt.”

“My apologizes, Your Honor. We will have a fair trial today. And I‘ll keep the pace slow for Mr. Dice over there,” Mr. Dirt said with a smirk. He cleared his throat and began the opening remarks.

“Today, we are here because Ms. Sparkle has committed two acts of murder. The victims include Princess Cadence and her husband, Shining Armor. She was able to slay both with a sword while both were vulnerable in the Cantorlot Bathroom. Her motive of attack was self-pity and jealousy. You see, Ms. Sparkle’s love life has not gone so well recently. A guard by the name of Flash Sentry has been a bit cold to her. This guard is considered to be the only relationship Ms. Sparkle has at the moment. After seeing the love her brother and her sister-in-law were able to have, she became furious and asked Princess Cadence to use a love spell to help her relationship. When the princess refused, she decided to wait until she was most vulnerable, when she was in the bathroom, killed her. To leave no witnesses, she had to kill her only brother, too. After her crime, guards were able to trap her in the bathroom and she was apprehended. Three prepared witnesses will be called today, if necessary, to prove Ms. Sparkle’s guilt. If I may call the first, Your Honor?”

“Yes, yes. Send in the detective.”

The motive was the denial of a love spell to enhance her love with Flash Sentry. I don’t buy that for a second.

A black bat-pony strolled up to the stand: Blackjack. Moe Dirt continued with the required formalities.

“Witness, please state your name and occupation.”

“Detective Blackjack. I’m in charge of th’ homicide and suicide investigation team in Canterlot.” His glance drifted towards me. He quickly glared and puffed his wings up. “Whas wit’ th’ stubborn colt over there! I told ya’ to not show ya’ face, pal. Now ya’ gunna get it.”

The loud bang of the judge’s gavel rang throughout the court room. “Silence, detective, or I will fine you in competent of court!”

Blackjack calmed himself down, lowered his wings, and apologized.

Moe Dirt started the trial up again. “Detective, please testify to the court about your investigation of the murders.”

“Well, to start, th’ murder weapon, th’ sword, belonged to Shining Armor. There’s also hoof prints on the blade. Shining Armor’s and Twilight’s. Also, we conducted a magic residue test of th’ item. For all of ya’ who don’t know, magic residue is th’ stuff that is left behind on all objects a levitation spell is used.”

Wow, this is a thorough testimony for a bulky blockhead to spit out. Moe Dirt must have pre-written it for Detective Blackjack.

Blackjack continued. “Th’ results came back with only Shining Armor’s magic on it. On top of th’ incriminating evidence, we’ve gotta guard who can testify to seeing Ms. Sparkle walking in th’ direction of the bathroom right before the murder and another guard, th’ one who captured Ms. Sparkle. He can also prove her guilt.”

“Is that all, Detective?” The judge asked.

He answered, “Eeyup,” then directed a comment towards me, “Good luck finding holes in th’ testimony, pal.”

“Yes,” the judge agreed, “Mr. Dice, please commence with the cross-examination.

“Yes, Your Honor.” I don’t see any obvious contradictions, but the motive is new to me and seems very sketchy. There must be something there. I also can’t forget the new evidence that was presented to me. I just need to grab more information about the case from our ‘friend’ here.

Here goings a hunch! “Detective Blackjack…”

“Whacha want!? Don’t waste my time!”

“R-right.” I can’t just guess or be reckless with objecting. But I really think the weapon is important. “Repeat back to me what was said about the weapon.”

Blackjack grumbled, “Th’ murder weapon, th’ sword. It belonged to Shining Armor…”

“Hold it!” I yelled.

“Mr. Dice, yelling is not necessary,” The judge scolded. “But if it is how you carry out your cross-examination, I see no reason to stop you. It was quite thrilling, yet humorous.” He finished his advice with an insulting chuckle.

“Right… anyway, if the weapon belonged to Shining Armor, how did Twilight get it?”

“Pssh, I dunno.”

“Why didn’t you search for this answer, the murder weapon is the only evidence you had to investigate!”

“Objection!” Moe Dirt broke in. “What’s done is done and what isn’t, cannot be changed. Please continue with the cross-examination.”

I couldn’t let this momentum get away! “Objection! The murder weapon is of utmost importance to this case. Do not take its origin lightly. I can prove Twilight had no motive to murder with this.” I raised the pile of armor over my head.

The judge was the first to ask, “You’re going to prove her innocence with your dirty laundry, Mr. Dice?”

“What? No. This is Shining Armor’s armor. It was found in the bathroom where the murder took place.”

Moe Dirt questioned me next. “What relevance does this have to the murder?“ It was like the whole room was against me. Probably because it was.

“I’d like to show a piece of the armor to you all. The sword sheath. Location of the murder weapon.”

Moe Dirt turned as pale as can be. He knew where this was going.

“The victim, Shining Armor was in the shower when the death occur, as seen in the autopsy. At this point, the victim had taken off his armor. Only then was the sword away from him.”

“I’m sorry. I still don’t follow, Mr. Star,” the judge said.

“Your honor, this means that the murder weapon in question was not with Ms. Sparkle before she entered the bathroom to murder. This proves premeditated murder is not a plausible motive for this case! Ms. Sparkle had no intention to kill anyone before entering the bathroom! I suggest the prosecution revise their motive to continue the trial.”

The court room went silent. I couldn’t tell if it was a good thing, or a bad thing.

“Very good, Mr. Star,” Moe Dirt admitted. However, he had the biggest grin on his face. “You should know, however, that Ms. Sparkle was not planning murder, but was sent over the edge by some disturbing news.”

A chill went down my spine. Had he already decided on a new motive to pursue so quickly? “What are you talking about?”

“Her loneliness, her depression, her jealousy of the couple, drove her over the edge after Princess Cadence and Shining Armor informed Ms. Sparkle that they were due to become a royal family.”

The room was dead silent, no pun intended. Moe Dirt pulled out some papers in his bag.

“Here is confirmation that Princess Cadence was pregnant: the pregnancy tests themselves. I move to add the murder of this unborn filly to the charges held against Ms. Sparkle. I also submit the tests as evidence to the court.”

No pony said anything. Collectively, every pony in the room had their mouths wide open in disbelief. However, I noticed Twilight’s expression was lacking. Don’t tell me she knew. This could incriminated her even further! But Moe Dirt… he knew about this from the very beginning. He was just going to let this slide and try to win without it. What else is he hiding?

The judge was the earliest to react. “I-I guess… I mean, yes. The murder that has come to light will now be added. Mr. Dice, do you have any further questions?”

I snapped out of my shocked state to answer, “Y-yes, Your Honor. About the guard who witnessed Ms. Sparkle before the murder. I’d like to hear his testimony.”

“Objection!”

No way, after that little performance you’re still going to object?!

Moe Dirt explained, “We know what happened before the murder. You already proved the sword was not with her before she entered the bathroom. What else could the guard testify to?”

“Objection! It was a theory. An eye witness can confirm my suspicions. Your Honor, please allow the guard to testify.”

“Overruled.”

What?!

The judge explained, “Your theory is sound, Mr. Dice. If you have no more questions, I’m ready to cast my judgment.”

“Wait, Your Honor. We haven’t heard from the guard who witnessed the aftermath!” Don’t you dare object, Moe Dirt!

“You are correct. However, what could he possibly provide that could curb my opinion?”

“He holds information about how the scene of the crime look. Without all of the information possible, you cannot give an accurate verdict.”

The judge took some time to think, “If you insist, Mr. Dice, send in the next witness.”

That was close. This is the last witness prepared: my last chance. I can’t screw this up.

A Royal Guard took the stand. Nothing unusual about him, really. Just a normal guard in guard garb.

“Name and occupation, soldier,” Moe Dirt asked.

“I’d like to keep my name secret as to not ruin my reputation as a Royal Guard, sir.”

The judge allowed the request. “Please testify to the scene you stumbled upon the night of the murder.”

“Well, first I heard a feminine screen, probably Princess Cadence. I ran to the source, the bathroom. I was hesitant to enter, because, well, you know, I didn’t really know if I had permission to enter. When I worked up enough courage I broke down the door and Princess Cadence was dead on the floor near the shower, Shiny Armor was slumped over the edge of the tub, and Ms. Sparkle, she was holding his sword!”

The judge spoke up. “Sounds pretty incriminating to me, but if the defense finds it necessary to cross-examine, go for it.”

I answered, “The defense will cross-examine the witness, Your Honor.” But on what? I better try to clarify some of the questionable facts here.

“Witness, you stated you heard a scream, probably Princess Cadence. How could you tell it was her screaming?”

“Well, it was definitely feminine. I wouldn’t know who else would have screamed with a feminine voice. I doubt the murderer would scream.”

“We can’t be sure if Ms. Sparkle or Princess Cadence screamed then. Do not assume, witness.”

He brushed the warning aside, “Pfft, doesn’t really matter, now does it? Can’t you object or something Mr. Dirt?”

“I don’t know,” Moe Dirt replied, “It’s fun to watch a puppy chase its tail.” Great, insulting me further. Better just keep pressing the witness.

“You were hesitant to enter the bathroom. How long were you standing there?”

“Only a few minutes, why?”

This is going to be cruel, but I have to crack his high-and-mighty attitude. “Witness! If you had not delayed, the murder may not have even occurred! Why did you not act sooner?”

“Shut up!” the guard yelled, tears started flowing from his eyes. “You don’t think I know that? That it’s my fault they are dead! The guilt has killed me. I’ve gotten no sleep! That’s why I’m here, to make sure someone never does this again. To make sure the defendant is dealt with! That she pays!”

“Objection!” Moe Dirt but in. “We aren’t playing the blame game here, Mr. Dice. We are in court. I suggest you act like it.”

Another statement I have no say over. This is really bad. I’ve got one more question in me, but I need more information. “Witness, you stated the locations of the dead bodies, but you never said how you knew they were dead.”

“Isn’t it obvious? The blood… was everywhere.”

“Specifics, witness. Where was everywhere?”

“The floor, the sword, the bodies… What more do you want?”

“And are you sure you aren’t forgetting anywhere else?”

“Are you kidding me?” The guard asked sarcastically. “How could I forget…”

“Hold it! You’re missing a bloody location!”

“I swear it was only on the floor, the sword, and the bodies!”

“And the bathtub.”

The witness’s eyes got really wide. “T-There was no blood in the tub, I swear!”

“Then why, witness, do I have a picture of the crime scene where blood is present in the tub and around the rim?”

“Objection!” Moe Dirt, I swear, if you don’t stop I’ll make you EAT dirt! “The fact that the witness saw no blood cannot prove the defendant’s innocence in the murder, Mr. Dice. Please, move on.”

“Objection! Your right, it doesn’t prove her innocence. But it clears up the foggy subject of who died first. It proves that Princess Cadence had died first!”

The court room was silent. I could tell no one was thinking the same way I was, but Moe Dirt was the first to ask, “What does that have to do with this case?”

“The witness said Princess Cadence had screamed, but, if the murder had played out the way I have just proven, she was the first one dead! She couldn’t have screamed!”

“Objection! The princess could have screamed when she saw Ms. Sparkle charge at her with the sword. Are you really that daft?”

“Objection! If the attack had been so obvious, why had Shining Armor not reacted and stopped my client? He was the biggest threat. Why wasn’t he killed first?”

“Objection! None of this matters! You are just wasting time, proving the order of deaths your client caused is not proving her innocence, I suggest…”

“Sweet Filly Celestia, Dirt, Shining Armor was the killer you idiot! That’s the point I’ve been trying to make. The order of the deaths, the scream coming from my client. It all leads to Shining Armor! That‘s the whole theory I‘ve based this trial on today.”

It all makes sense now. This is why Twilight was so upset when I asked about her motive. She couldn’t stand to say she watched her brother kill her fiancé. But, that still leaves who killed Shining Armor.

While thinking to myself I realized all eyes were on me. The room was silent in awe, just as it had been when they realized an unborn filly was involved.

“Mr. Dice,” Moe Dirt started. “You are to have me believe Shining Armor killed Princess Cadence. Then prove it. What was the motive!?”

Motive… Oh no. There is only one path I can take with this, but…

“For that, we need the witness you so kindly brushed off. The one who saw the three involved before the murder!”

“Objection! Before anything happens, you must tell us your thoughts, now!”

“Overruled,” the judge chimed in. “This is impressive, for your first case Mr. Dice. I’ll grant you the request of the last witness. However, I won’t let you dilly dally any longer. We will call in the witness, but you have one shot to prove the motive Shining Armor had to kill. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Your Honor. Thank you.”

The next witness entered the room. He was in the same uniform the first Royal guard was in. They really don’t want a stallion to express individualism, huh? Anyway, the same swearing-in process occurred and he began to read off his testimony of what he saw the day of the murder.

“The day was coming to an end. The guards had finished their drills and were off of work for the day. I noticed Shining Armor was the first to pass me. I bowed and he addressed me, like always. Princess Cadence came a time later. I bowed, she greeted. Then, Princess Sparkle came by.”

Well, it was short and lacking detail, as usual. Time to get more details and set up some cold hard facts.

“So, Ms. Sparkle had no sword with her?”

“No. It was with Shining Armor.”

Moe Dirt had to comment, “Mr. Dice, we already know where the sword was, don’t waste our time.”

I ignored him and continued, “And Shining Armor wasn’t with Princess Cadence. Do you know where any of them were headed?”

“Objection. We already know where they were going.”

“Objection! We only have a theory at the moment. Based on the conversation the witness had, we can come to a precise conclusion. I would like the witness to testify to the separate conversations he had with both witnesses and my client.”

The judge granted me my request.

“Well, Shining Armor told me he wanted me to join him for dinner before he showered. I told him I had taken the night shift and couldn’t join him. Princess Cadence then asked me where Shining Armor had gone. I told her to check the dining hall, but he was probably already in the shower. Princess Sparkle came by later saying she needed to find Princess Cadence and Shining Armor. I told her that I had talked to both of them and that they would be in the bathroom.”

Suddenly, I realized how awkward this must sound. Twilight walking in on her brother showering and Cadence watching him while also telling her they were going to have a baby. Even I would have killed to get out of that situation.

“Hold it!” I had a thought. “So Shining Armor had just come back from his daily duties and hadn’t met up with Cadence until the bathroom?”

“Objection!” Dirt, I swear to Celestia it wouldn’t be soon enough until I was solving your murder case… “This question has no relevance to this case.”

“Objection! I can prove it does.” I quickly looked through the evidence to find the pregnancy test results. “Witness, at what time would you say you told Shining Armor you couldn’t go to dinner with him?”

“I would say about six. Why?”

“And Princess Cadence?”

“I don’t know. Six forty-five?”

“Where are you going with this, Mr. Dice,” The judge asked.

The pregnancy test had a time stamp on it: six fifteen on the day of the murder!

“Your Honor, the prosecution has made the claim that both Princess Cadence and Shining Armor shared the news of their new baby filly to Ms. Sparkle, which resulted in their murder.”

“Get to the point Star,” Moe Dirt said flatly.

“My point, Moe, is that Shining Armor had no idea about the baby!”

The court room bust into a commotion. They couldn’t believe what I was going to say next. However, the noise level was soon hushed by the judge’s gavel.

“Mr. Dice, I hope this isn’t a baseline hypothesis. And what relevance does it have to the case?” I’m really tired of hearing them ask about my credibility and relativity…

“This proves that Shining Armor had a motive for murder as well!”

Moe Dirt decided to try and summarize my madness, “Are you insinuating, Mr. Dice, that Shining Armor, the honorable leader of the Royal Guard in the Crystal Empire, killed Princess Cadence, his own wife, because he couldn’t handle the future of being a father?!”

“Not only that, but it explains another form of evidence that doesn’t fit.”

“And what would that be?”

“Well, the residue and prints of the sword.”

“But, if anything they incriminate Ms. Sparkle, not prove her not guilty!”

“Your wrong, Moe Dirt. Witness, is there any scenario during drill duty where a guard must use his sword?”

The witness thought back to that day. “Yes. We practice combat on dummies. Even Shining Armor participated today.”

“What species were training today?”

“Umm, all three. Earth ponies, Unicorns, and Pegasi. Why does it matter?”

“Can you testify to the combat practice?”

“Objection!” Moe dirt broke in. “Honestly Mr. Dice, please stop dodging the charges and get on with the trial at hand!”

“Fine, answer this one question, witness: Did unicorns wield their swords with magic?”

“No, sir.”

I had everything I needed accept the patience of the court room. Now I just needed to place the pieces of the puzzle I had on the table and create a not guilty verdict. But would I have time?

“Your Honor, the moment of truth is upon us. If you will allow me to share it with the court…”

“Overruled!” My heart sank. “Mr. Dice. Today, I have heard nothing important come out of your mouth. So please, let me pass my verdict and be done with this cat-and-mouse chase you call a cross-examination!”

No. It couldn’t be over. I need another contradiction to continue the trail, and fast. Think, Star, think! His testimony just now. Is it strong enough to even hold the weight of a contradiction?

“Hold it! There’s still a contradiction in the witness’s testimony!”

A loud moan flowed through the room. It was apparent the audience had had enough of the trial as well. The judge shot daggers at me and replied, “This is your last chance, Mr. Dice. If you cannot continue to bring relative information to this court, the trial is over. Is that understood?”

“Y-yes, Your Honor.” Here goes nothing. One last hunch. “The magic residue on the sword was not conducted normally through Shining Armor’s drills. So when did he wield it with magic?”

The witness looked at me nervously, “He didn’t use magic, I promise!”

“Then we can be sure he didn’t attack a dummy. So he must have attacked something else: Princess Cadence!”

“Objection! You have no proof of that. He could have entered a struggle for magic control of his sword with Ms. Sparkle.”

“Objection! How easily you forget, Mr. Dirt. Ms. Sparkle left no residue on the sword, just hoof prints.”

“Y-you still can’t prove Ms. Sparkle didn’t kill either one of them!”

“Well, do you really think Ms. Sparkle was able to trot over to the pile of armor, draw the sword, was able to kill Princess Cadence and then Shining Armor? Shining Armor would have fought back!”

“No! You’re wrong. The victim was trapped in the bath tub. With limited mobility, there was no way to escape or fight back.”

No way. How can he come up with this stuff so quickly! There’s got to be a contradiction!

“Then that would explain the magic residue. Shining Armor, fighting back?” I asked.

“Y-yes, precisely.”

Gotcha. “Sadly, it explains the presence of Shining Armor’s magic residue, but, if that were true, Shining Armor would be alive.”

Chattering began to swell in the court room again. Questions were exchanged: Why had Shining Armor died if he was stronger? What can the prosecution do now? Is Twilight really innocent?

The judge stopped them with a quick crack of his gavel. “Order in the court! Mr. Dirt. Do you have an explanation for this?”

The prosecution answered with a smile, “Shining Armor had just returned from practice. He was obviously too tired from that to fight of his sister.”

The judge nodded, “That makes sense. Does the defense have anything else to say on the matter?”

“Yes, Your Honor. The fact that Shining Armor’s struggle with Ms. Sparkle took place is false.”

“Come, come now, Mr. Dice. Tell me you’re just joking. There is no evidence supporting there was no brawl.”

“No, but there is evidence that a struggle must have been quickly lost. You see, the witness said he had heard the scream and rushed to the bathroom door. It may be true that the guard took his time to barge in, but there was no time for a full-fledged brawl to take place. Even you can’t expect us to believe Shining Armor was so weak that he was subdued in ten seconds flat! On top of that, Shining Armor had not used his magic all day. Physical strength and magical strength are two different subjects. The truth is Shining Armor could have easily stopped Ms. Sparkle with his magic!”

“I don’t need to prove he was subdued, Mr. Dice, because he was.” Moe Dirt smirked.

“W-what?”

“Shining Armor is dead. That’s all the evidence I need.”

“There is still one more explanation to Shining Armor’s death we haven’t considered, Your Honor. One that proves my client is far from guilty, but a victim in all of this.”

The court room fell into silence. The anticipation was killing everyone, but I just couldn’t bring myself to say what I had stumbled upon. It was a good minute until Mr. Dirt decided to nibble.

“You can’t prove any pony else was in the room to kill Shining Armor, boy. Let me also remind you that, with your theory, Princess Cadence is dead, so don’t go bringing the dead back to life and suggesting she killed Shining Armor.”

“Oh, I can prove there was another pony in the room who could have killed Shining Armor.”

“Objection! No. You. Can’t.”

I decided it was time to let the court room in on my theory. “A bloody scream is heard through the halls of the castle. After killing his wife, Shining Armor was stricken with grief. Guards were on their way to check the commotion. Unable to live with himself he decided to end his life.”

Everyone was shocked. Speechless. Mr. Dirt stammered, “Y-You can’t be suggesting that…”

I nodded my head, “Shining Armor had committed suicide to escape guilt and punishment. This explains why he had magic residue and hoof prints on his sword while also being the second victim to die due to blood lose.”

Frantic, Mr. Dirt tried to piece his story back together. “But the scene the previous witness depicted, the one with Ms. Sparkle holding the sword…!”

“That can be explained for the same reason why Ms. Sparkle continues to claim she was the murderer. She respected her brother far more than she respected herself. She tried to stop Shining Armor from killing himself by pulling the sword out of his chest. This left her hoof prints on the sword. However, being a fit stallion, he was able to keep the blade in until he lost consciousness. Ms. Sparkle was then able to pull the sword out, leaving her standing alone with two dead family members and a bloody sword in hoof. Ms. Sparkle, understanding every pony’s admiration toward her brother, decided it was better for her name to go down in flames instead of her brothers.”

A long silence filled the court room with an occasional sniffle. Every pony was contemplating the scenario I gave. It was plausible. But I needed evidence to back it up. The silence was broken by a loud cry: Princess Sparkle. I had hit the nail on the head. Then I realized, her reaction was all the evidence I needed.

“I-it’s all true!” She balled. “The murder! The baby! My brother! The sword!” She continued to sob for a few more minutes until the bailiff was ordered to calm her down in the waiting lobby.

So that’s how it had happened. Princess Cadence had taken a pregnancy test that came back positive. She was able to find Shining Armor in the bathroom taking a shower. When Princess Twilight had also found them, Princess Cadence shared the news about the filly. Shining Armor flipped out, lost any sense of reality, grabbed his sword with a levitation spell and slashed his wife to death. Princess Twilight screamed, snapping Shining Armor back to reality. His final choice was to escape reality once more. But, Princess Twilight’s attempt to stop her brother ended up with her standing in the bathroom with the murder weapon in hoof. And she decided to take the blame for it to protect her brother’s name so he would die with the honor he still had.

“This is all very believable, Mr. Dice,” the prosecution started, “But to finally prove your point you’ll need hard evidence. Without it, all you have is a theory. And I doubt a theory will save Ms. Sparkle.”

Unbelievable… He’s right. I am so close, but without any physical evidence I can’t save her. There is only one thing left to do. In the absence of evidence, go with the next best thing: testimony.

“Your Honor. I believe we need to have one more witness testify. The one who really saw the murder for what it was. The defense would like to call Ms. Sparkle to the stand!”

“Objection! Ms. Sparkle has already confessed to the murder. There is no need for us to listen to her repeat herself.”

“Overruled,” The judge determined. Did I finally have the court on my side? “Bailiff, bring Ms. Sparkle to the stand.”

Princess Sparkle entered from the waiting room. She seemed to be composed now, but you could tell she was still shaking.

“Ms. Sparkle,” The judge started, “Please testify to what you saw in the bathroom that night.”

“It started when I entered the room. Cadence said she had news for the both of us, the news about the filly. Shining Armor was furious. He said he wasn’t ready for this, and… Cadence tried to assure him everything was okay… but… a sword whizzed in front of my face and sliced into Cadence. I didn’t know what to do. I panicked and screamed. The look on my brother’s face was total horror. He… He summoned the sword and it went straight through his chest, hilt deep. I tried! I really did, to get it out I mean. But, it only came out when his magic faded. I was too late. The guard barged in and, well, you know the rest…”

Everything fit into place. This was it. She really didn’t kill any pony.

“T-the defense rests, Your Honor.” There was nothing left to say. No contradictions to cross-examine. We had won. That is, until…

“Objection! This witness is lying and biased. She is obviously traumatized from the whole experience. Why, just this morning she was admitting to the murder, now she is simply spitting out the false story the defense has sown together. We have learned nothing from this testimony and I request it be removed from the record!”

“No! Your Honor you can’t!”

The judge spoke up, “I see only one reason to keep the testimony, and only one question needs to be asked in the cross examination. So I conclude, Mr. Dice, are you ready for your last cross examination?”

What was he talking about? She hadn’t lied at all. But… maybe all I need is more information. More clarification. “Yes, Your Honor.” I’m going to have to press her until she gives me something to work with.

“Ms. Sparkle, can you explain to the court why Shining Armor would kill his wife?”

“Well, the news must have been a surprise, seeing that neither one of us had been told prior. I’d also have to say, well, my brother was the responsible one in the relationship. I’m not trying to make Cadence sound like a bad princess, but, Cadence has a tendency to do less than Shining Armor. Meaning, Shining Armor works, protects the kingdom of the Crystal Empire, and now would have a child to look after. All of that stress and responsibility must have just built up and he lost it.”

“Objection!” Moe Dirt, as stubborn as always. “Let’s not forget your relationship with Flash Sentry, Ms. Sparkle. It hasn’t been…”

“Hold it right there Mr. Dirt!” I butt in. “I believe the prosecutions stand on the motive is that Ms. Sparkle had acted out in hearing the news of the new filly.”

“Yes, but the prosecution still recognized that the relationship drama beforehand is one of many causes for the murder. The defendant wouldn’t simply kill based on the news of a new arrival to the royals.”

“Then we would be in agreement to have Ms. Sparkle testify to her previous relationship with Flash Sentry?”

Backed into a corner, Mr. Dirt had no other choice but to accept. I knew I had control over the case now. I just need to finish this. Leave no room for doubt.

“Flash wasn’t anything really. Well, not the Flash Sentry in this world. Back as a human, he was a sweetheart, but here, as a royal guard, he is distant. I thought they would be the same, but I was wrong. I have no ill will towards him, and, if I’m not overstepping my limits, I believe with that, this case has come to a close.”

I looked over to Moe Dirt, his face was red and his nostrils were flaring. He knew he was beat. I didn’t have to cross-examine again. Any more questioning would have torn Moe’s motive to shreds anyway.

“Your Honor,” I started. “Now, the defense rests.”

The judge nodded, “Mr. Dirt. Any final remarks?”

Through clenched teeth, the prosecution answered, “None.”

“Then I can hand down my verdict. I find the defendant, Ms. Sparkle, Not Guilty!” And with one last slam of his gavel, he announced, “Case dismissed!”

A huge cheer came from every audience member in the bleachers. I looked around and noticed something. The audience had gradually moved over to my side of the court room. In fact, a majority had trotted over! Princess Twilight broke down in tears. Tears of joy. Liquid Pride. It really was all over.

After the trial I helped Princess Twilight into the waiting room where we found Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. The three princesses huddled around and gave one big group hug. I kind of just stayed where I was, awkwardly. Princess Celestia was the first to address me.

“Thank you, Star Dice. You really helped out here. And for a beginner, too! You should be very proud.”

Again, I don‘t take flattery well. With a blushed face I replied, “Thank you. But it was you who had faith in your student, after all.”

With a smile and a small laugh she replied, “You are too kind, Mr. Dice.”

Suddenly a pink, energetic pony appeared in the middle of their hug. I was sure she hadn’t been there when they had started that hug.

“Twilight! Congratulations on not being a murderer! I brought the party supplies like you said.” She said with a huge smile. In fact, she had already started blowing up balloons.

“Pinkie Pie, you should really be thanking Mr. Dice over there. Without him I would be on death row right now.” She stopped and her face turned into a frown. “Wait, how could I have told you to bring supplies if I thought I was to be found guilty? That’s nothing to celebrate.”

She had a point. But Pinkie just shrugged it off and said, “I dunno. Must have been my Pinkie Sense or something. Anyway, I’m glad I didn’t bring it all for nothing! Now I can fire the party…”

Just then, a loud blast was heard down the hall. The five of us rushed to see a crowd of ponies around a cannon. I pushed my way to the front of the crowd to see what the commotion was about. In the middle of the chaos was a familiar face: Moe Dirt. He was on the floor. Dead.

I turned and raced back to the others. They needed to know about this! As I approached them I noticed Pinkie was being carried off by the police.

“What’s going on? Moe is as dead as…” You know, ‘dead as dirt’ might be a distasteful joke. Too soon.

Princess Twilight explained, “Mr. Dice. That party cannon is Pinkie Pie’s. She killed Moe Dirt.”

And then it hit me. I was staring my next case straight in the face.

Comments

[CroakerGamer]

Pretty much never posted this one because I lost interest and went to college. Here you go.

[steastritz]

Celestia dammit Pinkie.