• Member Since 20th Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen Oct 6th, 2016

inum76


Well, that was certainly exciting.

E

Twilight heads into town to find out what the Cakes want to talk to her about.
Then off to see Celestia for a revelation of a visit.
Oh, there is something about her getting to help name two foals in there too. ^.^
It is set in 5 small Chapters. All in one short story. Complete.
Enjoy.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 7 )

good start but needs spell checking. :derpytongue2:

4647871
Yes, that is my biggest down fall. :twilightblush:
I have improved some of it sense I first posted it. Should look better now. :twilightsmile:
I also relies one big fault in the story, not much is done each day. Leaving it rather too short and bland. Just something else I will have to work on in any future stories I may make. :twilightsheepish:

It's spelled "Naming". You might want to fix that.

4656201
I will immediately! And thank you. Let me know of anything else you find. :twilightsmile:

All right, critique time! :pinkiehappy:

Great story. There were few spelling errors. I will leave a short list of the ones I can remember at the end of this. I actually really liked the idea of a spell that names a foal. I always wondered how they are named after their talent, yet they do not know what it is till later in life. This makes a lot of sense. I loved how you let the Royal Sisters be normal ponies. They started out formal, then relaxed as time went on, even admitting some hard things to Twilight. Most people would keep the sisters stiff and formal because that is always how they are portrayed in the show. So, I'll wrap up here, wonderful story. Loved the story line and general plot. :heart::heart::heart::raritystarry::pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

Here are the spelling errors that I can remember: ex. My spelling(your spelling)
Ponyville(Ponyvill) This one depends on preference.
yawn(yon)
warm(worm) What are you doing? Why are you putting worms on me????

Those are all that I remember. Great job. Sorry if you find me going a little hard on the spelling errors. I am very annoyed if a word is not spelled right.

4707277
Thank you for your comments.
I probably could have done more with this, but it was intended to be a short story. Just to present the idea given in story form.
I am glad you liked the casual side I presented on the two Princes sisters. That part was put in at first as filler, then I got carried away. :derpytongue2: I myself did like how it turned out. Nice to see someone else did as well.
No prob on the spell checking, I know my spelling is notoriously bad. :twilightblush: I am a little surprise that those three were the only ones you found. Not that I am asking anyone to look for them. You did me a favor by doing so. So thank you for that as well, and I will see about getting those fixed soon. :twilightsmile:

4707277
Got those fixed and more. Yes that worm one was a little disturbing.
Luna giving a worm hug??? :rainbowlaugh:
She's not giving those any more, What ever it might have been like. :twilightblush:

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