• Member Since 29th May, 2014
  • offline last seen Nov 28th, 2022

KalenNighteyes


Father, gamer, Brony; enough said!

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Twilight has been waiting and waiting for a new letter from Rainbow Dash. The Pegasus had been off fighting in the war that broke out across Equestria, however, she is killed in action.

When Twilight finally receives a letter, it isn't what she's expecting.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 22 )

As a former soldier this one hit a little close to home. All of us who deploy know that there is a chance that we may come home in a box or not at all. All my feels go out to Twilight .* snaps a salute for the fallen*

4636623 Thank you for your service. I have two family members who served. One of them was in vietnam. Thank you for reading my story as well.

And all this time, Spike--presumably Twilight's son/brother/best friend--stayed at home reading comics books and not giving a shit.

4636623 *salutes back* Your country thanks you for your service.

4637893
A lot of writers don't care about Spike. It's a matter of opinions, and if someone doesn't care about Spike, they're not likely to add him into a fanfiction which doesn't even have him involved in the central plot. It's just the way it is.

4637893
Relevant even if you don't have the disorder.

There is no Spike tag. It's not about him. End of story.

4638562 I like Spike. There's nothing wrong with him and had he been right for this story, he probably would have been in it. As it is, he just didn't fit within this story.

4637893

Maud, I want you to take a minute and appreciate how much effort I'm making to stop myself from flying off the handlebars here. Point is, commenting on the lack of Spike in a fic that does not require Spike to be there at all is incredibly rude, and I would hope that your skirmishes with several others on The Mailbox: Reloaded might have taught you this. Spike isn't needed here. At all. Neither is Applejack needed. Or Pinkie Pie. Or Fluttershy.

As for the story itself, not bad. I think you need to work on keeping everything in the characters' voices, though. Some of the dialogue, such as when Twilight broke down after reading Rainbow's letter and even some of the dialogue in Rainbow's letter itself didn't look like it necessarily fit. Like, say the words that you have them speaking in your head and compare them to their canon selves in the show and ask yourself if it really sounds like something that they would say normally.

4638606 I'm glad that you found the story to be okay. I'm still very new to the whole MLP:FiM Community, and I am working to hone my skill of writing for these characters as much as I can. Thank you for your constructive comment, it's very much appreciated :pinkiehappy:

I did really enjoy the story, though it, at first, seemed a little fast paced. In my opinion you have a lot of potential, and im looking forward to more :)

I'm crying now... i loved your story, really...

4642945 Thank you! I'm glad that you liked the story. I'm working on becoming better at writing these stories for MLP. Thanks for reading :pinkiehappy:

4643256 I'm glad you liked it. To be perfectly honest, I was nearly in tears while writing this story. It was an experiment and I wanted to see if I could pull it off. I think the fact that I was nearly in tears as I wrote says a lot.

Thank you for reading my story :pinkiehappy:

4643549 Don't thank me for reading, it is I who should thank you for such a wonderful story to read.

4645024 :twilightsmile: Thank you for the compliments! :pinkiehappy:

4645027 Well, can't say you don't deserve them! I have been playing guitar for years now, and if I never would have received compliments, i wouldn't be were i am now. I am trying to motivate you, because i feel you have some potential, to make one of the better writers, inside the pony community

4638606

Spike isn't needed here. At all. Neither is Applejack needed. Or Pinkie Pie. Or Fluttershy.

Exactly. But they were there, and Spike wasn't. I was not insulting the story (Lord knows the pain of someone failing to return from overseas is a very real thing), just coming up with a silly idea about what was going on with him during the story.

4649754

Fair enough, I guess. I responded the way I did because the tone of your original comment implied otherwise. Especially when you took the time to "remind" everyone that Spike is presumably Twilight's "younger brother and best friend." It came across as rude and in the same tone as your previous comments on The Mailbox: Reloaded, which is something I can assume nobody wants to relive.

I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just being frank. If this offends you deeply, then I'll apologize for that right away.

You almost made me cry.:fluttershysad:

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