Ssshhhh, no words, just dreams...
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Remember the Canterlot wedding? Luna had been absent for most of the events that occurred during the whole episode, only appearing after everything was back to normal. Have you ever wondered what she could've possibly been doing during that time? She decides to give herself some time off, not thinking of the consequences afterwards. My first story and a one shot.
Cover art by pfefair, used with permission.
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Your narrative voice sounds a lot like Douglas Adams. This was really funny!
This was the first thing you published. It BETTER not be your last.
If this is a one shot you might want to mark it complete.
Why would you write this?
4643438
Luna is love, Luna is life.
4643454 True poetry. I shall shows it to my bat pony brethren!
4643458
They are coming....
4643476 if they you mean changeling, I will protect the princess at all costs. Termi-ponies have learned to serve royalty. Since there are so few, I get princess Luna. My 'adopted brother' (non termi-pony vampire) Nightstalker will defend the weak Celestia. Why should she be protected? She's easily defeated with other magic. *keeps rambling as he goes to find Luna*
4643493
No, I just meant it as in a big horde of the bat ponies will look at this story.
4643815 *comes back with princess Luna in trail* I wasn't told this before... why?
4643855
sorry.
4643873 well at least the princess can enjoy it. If you'll excuse me, I'll bask in the bright moonlight to get a charge for my batteries. I'm not solar, but lunar powered. *trots away, metal joints responding with sound from every sudden move*
4643892
All righty then!
Pretty good, I liked it c:
Well, the writing was fine, however, personally, I can't imagine Luna doing something like that (especially since she had gotten banished to the moon)
4688608
I know, I didn't make her words sound like how she usually talks either, but this is kind of a random story I made, and it was for practice.
MOAR STORIES!!!!!!
4764979
Glad you liked it!
4764984 alright as promised. First you get a free compliment. This was pretty good. Your writing style however is a bit long winded. You gave us two thousand words that said hardly anything. I found myself being unable to picture what was happening throughout most of the story. Details are a major component to writing. And yours (sorry) were shoddy at best. You used a near perfect amount of detail however you used the wrong details. Describe Luna's thoughts more instead the layout of the castle. Still describe the bathroom because most of the story takes place there. Her bed her room etc. But you didn't describe Luna enough, posture, thoughts, you get the idea. Spelling and grammar were fine. Now all in all you need to remember... you have immense potential. 7/10 great job.
4810689
Oh, I understand. Thank you for the criticism, this will help me out a bunch.
i came
“Living is Easy with Eyes Closed.”
― John Lennon
Oh poor Luna, just wanting to enjoy a simple bath. It was a wonderful and funny story.
6799504
Thanks for reading and commenting! I'm hoping to get something else out this year at some point..
6799666 I can't wait to read it.
4643281 I may not be able to stay true to that, I haven't been here in so long.