• Published 6th Jul 2014
  • 7,038 Views, 171 Comments

Blazing Skies - SwimmingDalek98



Hello, and welcome to the world of Equestria! I'm Professor Discord! Equestria is inhabited by ponies! You're here to cause havoc and chaos for them! Tell me, what's your name? Geo? That's a nice name… Wait, what're yo

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IX- Always a Bigger Fish: Retaliation

Blazing Skies

IX- Always a Bigger Fish: Retaliation

Ooh, a summon! I can feel it!

“C’mon out, Charizard!” God damnit, I can’t say no to that. Now, how to enter- Wait, what if it’s a battle? I need to prepare. I need a way to distract everyone.

Got it.

The tear in the Void opens, and I slam into the ground below. I keep my eyes closed, before raising my head and roaring, probably loud enough to hurt a lesser man’s eardrums.

"Do I have everyone's attention now?" I ask confidently.

A voice sighs in what I hope is relief. “Oh thank God, you can speak English. I was afraid I’d have to deal with grunts and growls. Or worse, Pokémon speak.”

"Now now, no need for insults, stronzo, especially to one of my favorite series." I look, and see- wow that motherfucker’s huge. About as big as me. Maybe bigger.

"Huh. Spanish? No, not spanish... Portuguese?" He asks.

"Italian," I huff. Well, my mother’s own Irish is blended in, but he doesn’t need to know that.

"Ah, my bad. And I'm not dissing on Pokémon, just the speaking. So, it's Geo, right?"

"Esattamente. And you are?" I look him up and down. Seems familiar, but not quite...

“Gilgamesh. You’re charmed, I’m sure,” He replies with a smirk.

“‘Gilgamesh?’ The Sumerian king? The oldest known piece of literature?” I’ve seen some very intriguing interpretations of what he looked like, but a multicultural knight with a scarf isn’t one of them.

“Uh, no. Final Fantasy?” That explains it.

“Didn’t play many of those. Which one are you from?”

“Several, actually. It’s complicated.” Fantastic. As if that series wasn’t wacky enough as is.

“Anyway, I came across your token by chance and I must admit, as a warrior it intrigued me. ‘Those who desire strength unparalleled, and ferocity in battle like no other’? ‘For those who want to roast the heavens and scorch the earth’? Those are quite the statements. Even I rarely ever introduced myself in such an… aggressive manner. And you’re talking to a guy who’s literally crushed mountains with his fists.” … Fuck, I ran into a Superman.

“Oh, look. Senpai noticed me,” Please be a fellow weeb, please don’t make me look like a lone nerd…



He laughs. I laugh with him quickly enough. He didn’t even notice. Dumbass.

“In all seriousness, I’m honored to hear I caught your attention,” I feel like I’m talking to Stan the Man Lee for some reason. Don’t know why.

“Although, did you really just call me to talk? I’ve been waiting two weeks for something interesting to happen.” Sitting in The Void Infinite doesn’t exactly provide one much to do. Besides think...

“Well, I just feel it only fair to introduce myself to others and perhaps give a little advice, as well as introduce any newcomers to this wonderfully convoluted multiverse of ours.” Wait, what?

“What makes you so sure I’m new?” I don’t need another Makuta to throw off my flaming tail. I know he’s been watching me in the Void. Bet he’s got some sick fetish-y stuff in mind.

I also am willing to bet that whatever it is, /d/ would probably get off to it.

… I need more friends.

“Well, I’ve yet to hear any mention of a Charizard from other Displaced. So Geo, what kind of Displaced are you? What are your goals and aspirations? What do you enjoy?” Really? A damn autobiography? I can’t help but laugh. I flare my wings out, and put my diaphragm to good use.

“I am a warrior! I seek worthy opponents and live for the fight! I want to be the strongest, to be the best, to defeat all who challenge me! To fight my way to the top! The high from a well-earned victory is the greatest feeling in the world to me! I seek to know of others’ strength, and become their superior! That is all I seek. The question now, who are you, and what do you seek?”

I swear to God, he’s thinking about the fucking Pokémon theme. I know he is.

He chuckles back, grabbing a spear-thing (I’ll be damned if I can recall what those are. Never paid attention in history, remember?). “I suppose it’s only fair that I introduce myself properly."

He takes a deep breath, and then starts doing some baton twirling shit with it. "I AM THE MIGHTY WARRIOR, THE WANDERER OF THE MULTIVERSE, THE ETERNAL COMBATANT! I AM HE WHO HAS DEFEATED ALL FROM THE GREATEST OF WARRIORS, THE MOST FEROCIOUS OF BEASTS, THE GRANDEST OF ARMIES, AND THE MOST GLORIOUS OF DEITIES! GAZE UPON MY FORM, FOR YOU STAND BEFORE THE MIGHTY GILGAMESH!"

He poses, and a tumbleweed rolls by.

"Also, sole sponsor of the Interdimensional Awkward Tumbleweed Association." He adds before taking a more relaxed stance. "So yeah, that's basically my shtick, find strong enemies, challenge them, get stronger, rinse, lather, repeat," He explains before clipping my weapon back.

"Man that felt good. A little taste of what normally happens in my life instead of what I'm going through now." Uh-oh. That doesn’t sound good.

"Wait, what's going on now?" I flick my tail back and forth, and roast a fly that gets too close. Hey, I’m a walking bug zapper!

"It's nothing. I don't want to talk about," Nope. We’re not doing this.

"Whoa, hold on a minute there, I may not be one of those fancy psychiatrists, but if you keep those kind of things bottled up it's gonna burst sooner or later. So come on, spill." I step in front of him, and stop my foot lightly, taking a seat on the dirt in front of him.

He sighs deeply. Craptacular. "Well, to make a long story short, some bad shit happened, a lot people I care about nearly got killed, a lot of other people did get killed, and the bastard that was responsible got killed... By me."

"Whoa. Um... At least you got the guy," I smile nervously. I hope he didn’t lose a lover or something. That’s beyond my abilities.

"But that's the problem, you see. I rarely ever kill, and when I do there's been little choice. It was the same here, but... This is the first time I enjoyed it. I'm honestly not sure how to feel about that."

"Are you serious? I thought you were some badass warrior, but you're having a problem with killing someone who tried to kill someone else you cared about?" Open mouth, insert foot.

"I'm a warrior, not a murderer. I fight because it's fun, not to hurt others. Hell, I don't even care about winning, just the thrill of the fight. I consider the fact that I've taken down entire armies without causing any casualties my greatest achievement." … Motherfucker’s got brass bearings.

"... I see your point. I’m kind of the same… as fun as kicking someone’s ass can be, I know that I’ve had my ass kicked, too… and I wanted to get back up, and keep getting better..." And rip and tear them apart.

"Heh. Let's continue this somewhere more comfortable. I've got some friends living here in the forest. We can talk over some tea," I nod, and follow him further through the woods.


He lead me into a hut which I honestly had trouble fitting into. Me and my fat ass. I swear, you’d think that with all the flying I do, I’d have lost some weight or something.

“Come, friend! Have some zebafrican red tea!” He holds up a wooden cup. I take it from his hand, and look closely. I take a sniff. I haven’t learned to sniff out poison yet, but I can tell that ours smell identical enough. He’s not dumb enough to pull a Bond villain ‘acquired poison immunity’ thing. I decide to take a sip.

“Well? How is it?” Wow this shit’s bomb.

“Hmm… pretty damn good, if I do say so myself. Heh, this reminds me of my college days. My friends, we’d gather around at the library, sit back, drink some chai tea, and listen to space music.”

“‘Space music’? What’s that?”

“Ever heard of Robin Guthrie?”

“No, I’m afraid not.”

“Damn. Well, I find it unlikely, but do you have any way to connect to the Internet?”

“No, but… I may have something else that’ll work. See, I met this lich, who had an enchantment on himself. It allowed him to turn himself into a living iPod. I helped him out with a problem, and he cast it on me.” … Fuck it. At this point, I shouldn’t be surprised anymore.

“Sweet. Can you play music you haven’t heard of?”

“Well, since I obviously don’t remember every note of every song I play, and it still makes up for it, I’m guessing there’s a chance.” Fuck yes! I’m tired of hearing the same old ‘you can do it’ and ‘you’re awesome’ BS drifting in from Shitville.

“Bitchin’. Okay, the artist is Robin Guthrie, G-U-T-H-R-I-E, and Harold Budd, with two d’s. The song is ‘Snowfall’.”

He closes his eyes, and mutters it to himself slowly. Soon enough, a calm, atmospheric, almost psychedelic melody begins to fill the room. We just sit there and simply enjoy it for a moment. “Hmm… I can see what you mean… Very relaxing… Definitely the kind of thing I’d play if I ever smoked pot,” He snickers.

I give him a chuckle. Not gonna lie, I actually first heard it when my buddies were hitting the bong. I didn’t do any myself, though. I’m not that stupid, I need to be coherent to run if the police walk in.

“I’ve always been a jazz man myself. Like something I can tap my foot to.” Oh, is that so?

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

He smirks. I notice that happens a lot around here. “Well, I could show you fan remixes of songs, but let’s try a classic. You probably have heard this one even if you don’t know the name or from where you heard it. Listener, this is 'Take Five' by the Dave Brubeck Quartet." I bob my head for a bit. Fascinating.

“... Huh… I’ll be damned… This DOES sound familiar…”

Suddenly a scream came from outside, one I knew belonged to a certain unicorn.

He cuts the music and barreled outside, doing a reverse Kool-Aid Man. Although, instead of saying ‘Oh yeah!’ It was more of a ‘Oh god!’. I come out to see ponies (the four-legged kind, not the furry fetishist ones I deal with) screaming as things straight out of… well… a Final Fantasy game charge about.

“Holy crap, just what the hell is happening in this world?”

The monsters stop in front of us, noticing Gilgamesh and I.

I stop when I hear Gilgamesh’s teeth grinding together. That can’t be good.

“Remember the guy who I killed?” Jesus, he sounds like he just met Hannibal Lecter.

“Y… yeah… Looks like he left some friends behind for an after-party… Can we kill them?” I know he’s all anti-Fatality, so I make sure to ask nicely. He calms down somewhat, but doesn’t lose his edge.

“Most certainly,” He mutters. He charges into the horde, and resembles the Warner Brothers’ Tasmanian Devil. Except without the TV-Y rating. I realize someone’s going to have to clean this up afterwards. Ew. Wait, what’m I doing? This is incredible! This is my chance to level grind!

Fly!” I shoot into the sky, and survey the area. I don’t want to end up kill stealing for him, and I need all the XP I can get.

I stop, and I notice something that- were it not for my Fire typing, would turn my blood cold. A pregnant pony. Surrounded by monsters. There’s another one, a stallion, reaching for her. His ‘friends’ are trying to pull him away, to a shelter. I faintly hear the whole ‘too late’ BS. Note to self: kick them in the balls later.

“No! Basil! That’s my wife and foal! DON’T DO THIS! WE CAN SAVE HER!” The colt’s brown, with a clover mark on his butt.

“Clover! Don’t! Please!” That… That voice… She’s not scared for herself. She’s scared… for that child. I fly. Faster than I have before.

NO! NEVER WILL ANYONE LET THAT HAPPEN! NEVER! EVER! NO-ONE WILL LOSE A CHILD!

There’s too much distance. I can’t close it. After all this, I’m not fast enough… But I can’t let it happen. No. Not again. Not again.

Not again! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

I feel my body pulse with power, and I feel myself be blinded by light from my very own scales. My tendons smooth out. My head crest grows a third horn. I feel an extra set of wings from my arms. I feel my fat smooth out. I feel… stronger.

Mega Evolution! Mega Charizard Y!” I roar, and I feel myself move fast… very fast.

“Hello!” I scream, before slamming into the ground. The impact throws the uglies off balance, and they turn to me. I swoop between them and the pony. I can’t risk missing.

“And goodbye! Flamethrower!” I breathe. Good, god, do I breathe. This fire feels better than all of my others. The strength. I feel more alive now than I have in all my life. I’m helping someone… I feel good. I look around, and see another, sneaking up on me. I grab its head, “Strength.” And it’s gone.

Then, I hear… him. Gilgamesh. And he… He’s angry. Now he’s no longer the Tasmanian Devil. He’s a certified scarlet blender. He leaps at all the monsters at speeds rivalling my own. In record time, the monsters are gone, either as fertilizer or cowards. I walk over to Gilgamesh, even though my survival instinct screams to not approach the blood-soaked mass monster slayer that’s shivering like a wet puppy.

"Um, dude, you oka-?" His hand is mere inches from my head. Scratch that. Millimeters. He pulls his hand back, and stares at it. I hope this isn’t a habit for him… Not sure how much help I could be if he were to cut me down before the fights even start...

"I'm... I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me," He mutters, groaning and scratching his head.

"Uh... hey, no biggie. You didn't do anything you'll regret, right?" He didn’t. I made sure to notice everything. He looks around, and sees the terrified ponies. Geez, we must be a sight. An orange dragon and a blood-soaked knight in the middle of town.

"I'm not so sure about that," He’ll see the damage report later, and change his mind significantly.

"Anyway, what happened to you?" Ah, changing the subject. My favorite method of avoiding potential guilt. I’ll roll with it for now.

“... Did you ever see the sixth generation of Pokémon games?” I smirk. Damnit, now he’s got me doing it.

“Afraid not. I was whisked away from Earth before I could get any solid news. What happens there?” Aw, shit. Well, might as well tell him.

“Mega Evolutions,” I pose like a majestic fucking eagle.

Why did I think of TFS when I said that to myself...

“You’re kidding.” I wish I had a camera. That look is priceless.

“No. They only last for one fight at a time, you can only do one per battle, but they’re rather worth it. Charizard and Mewtwo are the only Pokémon with two mega evolutions. This is Mega Charizard Y. Primarily increasing special stats, and it gives me the ability Drought. Mega X makes me a Fire and Dragon type, enhances physical stats and gives me Tough Claws.” Now I need to think of potential attack combos.

“Awesome.” Understatement, bro.

“I know, right?” I chase my tail, and look over my new additions. “This’ll make fighting those guys MUCH easier.” Rip and tear and bleed and smash-

"Uh, make fighting who easier?" He doesn’t know my situation. Meh.

"The Princesses back in my Equestria! Especially Celestia!" I proudly reply, still high on my transformation.

"And... why would you want to do that?" He asks in a very, very calmed voice.

"'Cause that zuia put me in Tartarus!" RIP AND TEAR AND SMASH AND BLEED

"Once I get some more practice with this form, I'll make her pay for it!" BURN AND BITE AND CUT AND KILL

"You do realize if you somehow do manage to kill them then you've pretty much screwed yourself over. She and her sister literally raise the sun and moon, respectively. I don't mind that you want to defeat her, but if you don't think ahead you'll end up dead on a planet that's half frozen and half scorched." Whoa… Calm thyself, young Padawan. Refer to Plan B.

"Yeah, I kinda figured that when I fought her last time. I never planned on killing them, so I guess I'll just have to let them do their duties while they're locked in their own cages," How I love irony.

"Or better yet, when I've got them leashed and kneeling in front me, a nice 'Property of Geo' collar on their necks.” I bow to no one.

“That'll show 'em. And after that not a single one of those dumb stronzo ponies will mess with me. Not even that hypocrite, Discord." HE WILL DIE BEFORE ALL ELSE.

He calmly turns to face the citizens of Ponyville, spying one mare in particular.

"Everypony, please go home. Derpy, if I could have a moment of your time?"

They all run off. Hey, he says that a war happened? I wonder… How much could I level grind with these things? I don’t think I got anything from that last tussle.

"Um, yes mister Gilgamesh, sir?" Gilgamesh pulls out a pen and paper, writes a note, shoves it into an envelope, and passes it to her.

"Take this to the Princesses as soon as possible please," He says.

It seems the prospect of delivering mail is a source of joy to her, because she instantly perks up, takes the letter, placed it in a saddle bag and salutes him before flying off to Canterlot. I watch her, and- holy fucking shit. Those things… did that? The towers! The castle! It’s...dead. Like someone gutted it...

I look back to him. We stare at each other. Behind him, I think I see that same tumbleweed from before. I awkwardly grin. He smiles back.

"I'm going to fucking murder you," Gilgamesh spouts in the most faux happy tone I’ve ever heard.

"Wait, wha-?" Next thing I know, I’m introduced to the business end of his fist, and I tumble into the forest.

"I can understand wanting to seek power, I can get seeking victory instead of just the thrill of battle. I can overlook even wanting to get even with the Princesses. But when your goals include disrespecting and humiliating your opponents, that I cannot condone." HE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND THE PAIN.

"You gotta be kidding me! I thought someone like you would understand!" I snarl, and stomp my way into a fighting stance.

"There is a fine line between beating your opponent and destroying your opponent, and you just crossed it! Forget the war preparations, I need to teach you a few lessons, you little punk." He spits at me, and glares.

His eyes glow red and a tornado of wind appears around him. "Welcome to the School of Hard Knocks, kid! Your first lesson is 'DON'T FUCK WITH GILGAMESH!"

“... Grgh! Fine. You wanna go? We’ll feckin’ go. I’ll SMACK YA INTO THE NEXT DIMENSION, YA DAFT BASTARD! Incinerate!” I launch the heat wave straight at him. He leaps over, and moves to cut me with his spear-thingy.

Fly!” I launch into the air, and watch as he disappears into the forest.

Fuck. I can’t take him like this. I need a boost. Wait, why hasn’t Drought taken effect? Well, looks like I need to activate it. I fly up, and breathe for a moment. The few clouds that are present part, and the sun’s light warms me. Ah.

Fire Blast!” I hit the forest, and watch as the shot spreads into five even lines. Perfect.

“Over here, asshole!” What? I take a haymaker to the face, and go to the ground. I flared my wings to stop myself from hitting the ground. I look up, and see him trying to slam into me. I’m having none of that. I leap into the air, and watch as his stomp- si spense un incendio!

Nope. I’m not gonna get hit with that. “Double Team…” I mutter to myself, and I vibrate in the air.

Next thing I know, I’m hit in the chest by what I have to assume is the magic bullet that got JFK. Aw, now I made myself sad. As I ponder potential conspiracy theories about who may have been behind the assassination, such as the Soviets, and the Chinese, when I feel Gilgamesh grab my tail and throw me to the ground. He moves to follow up, but I Smokescreen him in the face. Fun fact, kiddos: After some experimentation, I realized that Smokescreen actually leaves legitimate ashes in the air, which appear to be magnetized to people’s eyes. Hence the concept of losing accuracy.

He flinches, and I boot him off. I don’t let up, and use Growl. With how hard he’s hitting me, I’m not taking any chances. I then leap out of the Smokescreen, and begin pondering. He appears to be a primarily physical fighter, despite the availability of magic. Meaning that using his fists is instinctive. Meaning he’s a Fighting type.

He dashes from the cloud, fist raised. I narrowly angle my body into position for this, and my claw becomes covered in a black and purple aura.

"Shadow Claw!" My claw collides with his fist. It hurts, and I stumble. Based on the brief hiss, I got him good, too.

Next thing I know, he headbutts me, and pries my jaw open like he’s King Kong. I feel a sudden rush of water enter my mouth, and my tongue traces along multiple bubbles.

To quote Beaker: Meep.

I shake and shudder as the bombs go off in my throat and head. Gilgamesh still has a death grip on my head, not letting me budge. After they die down, he knocks me good in the jaw, and I tumble.

I stand up, and feel the urge to cough. I see blood on the dirt. That just makes me angrier. I look up, and see Gilgamesh coming with his fists raised. Not today, pal!

Aerial Ace!" I scream. I move past him, and leave a slash along his chest area. I hope that armor is thinner than it looks.

I press the advantage, and grab him, flying up into a Sky Drop. As we reach the ground, I notice he glows for a moment. Merda.

He groans, but I can hear the confidence oozing out. "You're not the only one with buffing spells," He glows again.

"But do you have debuffs?" I smirk, and let loose a Growl. His body shudders- nobody ever realizes that when I use Growl, they physically lock up more. They can’t even tell. I also cast a Double Team, and I notice my own body looks like it’s an electric toothbrush at this point.

"You think that'll save you? Fine, go ahead and get it out of the way," He cracks his neck, and… relaxes?

"... Are you serious?" I can’t even believe this guy’s giving me such an opening.

"What's wrong, fucktard? Afraid of how humiliating it'll be when you have every advantage you can get and I still beat you?" Oh it is on, stronzo.

I use Growl four more times, Double Team another four more times, and Smokescreen five more times. No chances. I’ll win. No matter what. I can’t lose. After all this, I have to get stronger.

"You're going down, stronzo,"

"Yeah, I thought that was an insult," He shoots- ROCKET FISTS? I roll away, and charge him. I think a Heat Wave would do me good right now. Followed by an Earthquake- NO! I can’t do that! It could affect the town!

"Henshin!" What the fuck- OH MY GOD IT’S ASURA’S FUCKING WRATH! He swings his FOUR RIGHT ARMS at me. Two miss by a long shot (thank you, based developers), but two still hit me with enough force to throw me into several trees. I shoulda found a Naruto world before I got here. Could’ve used some of that ninja milk.

Well, since I don’t have any, I think I need to get airborne. Now. I really hope he can’t grow wings.

I launch a Fire Blast, hoping that he’ll try to dodge. I prepare an Incinerate, for when he moves. He’ll move to any one of the five points, and that’s when I’ll slam him- OR HE CAN JUST FUCKING TANK IT LIKE SOME OP BS THAT NEEDS TO GET NERFED, STAT!

"Electrocute!" Well, fuck me- OH DIO IT BURNS! AIUTAMI! AIUTAMI!

He raises his hand, and absorbs the rest of the fire

"Wh-What!?"I’m in way over my head here! He’s got too big an arsenal, and I still haven’t found any helpful TMs!

"A gift from a friend of mine. I can absorb anything, although there's a limit to how much. Which reminds me, I've always wanted to try this." He dashes at me, arms outstretched.

"WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!” He moves so fast I barely register him grabbing my arm. Then… the cold comes. I feel all of the warmth I’ve absorbed from the sun just… go. He’s eating my fire!

"Looks like I can pull a Dio," He chuckles. The bastard… I’ll KILL- wait, what? No, no! I don’t wanna do that! I just need to beat him! Long enough to escape! Just enough to escape. He’s good… He’s good...

"I just absorbed the heat from your body. Not all of it, mind you, just enough to freeze the surface of your skin. I don't know how long it'll last, but until then…”

He pulls his arms back. FU-

"HINJAKU! HINJAKU! HINJAKU, HINJAKU, HINJAKU, HINJAKU, HINJAKU, HINJAKU, HINJAKU, HINJAKU!" I feel my skin crack against his assault. But I’m not losing here. Not losing here. NOT DYING HERE!

I catch him off guard when I light myself on fire, instantly thawing through the ice, and I do my best football player shoulder charge, giving myself some space. I prepare a Wing Attack, but before it could happen I quickly realize what it feels like to be my enemies. His- no, my fire knocks me back. He pulls all eight of his arms back for rapid punches. I don’t have a chance of dodging. I realize at this point, the best defense is an awesome offense.

"DORARARARARARARARARARARARARARARA-!” He’s going Josuke with this? Whatever. I press on, hoping that my buffs and debuffs don’t have a timer.

"You can't take me down that easy, Josuke!" Might as well have fun with this, right? My own deeper voice lets me imitate Jotaro fairly well.

He glows again- fuck my life. I slip up. I now know what it’s like to be Little Mac’s opponent.

"-RARARARARARARARARARA! DORA!" He launches me into the trees. Wind magic? Trees? I am now of the suspicion that this Gilgamesh is an elf of some sort.

Fuck, he’s advancing!

"Oh fuck that! Fly!" I spread my wings, and-

"No," MY GOD! Why can’t I fly? Everything’s… so… heavy! He moves closer… Gotcha, bitch!

"Flamethrower!"

Based on his (muffled) yelp, he wasn’t expecting me to have this much juice left. I rush forwards, and decide to give him a bit of irony.

"ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! ORA!" I give him a healthy dosage of Power-Up Punches, which eventually seams into Fire Punches, rapidly stacking up the damage, until I pull my right arm back, fully cocked, and hit him with a Mega Punch, sending him careening through the trees, until he lands on his back.

"I don't care what anyone says, Star Platinum owns Crazy Diamond!” I got him! “It doesn't matter how many tricks you've got, you'll lose! And the reason is-!" I raise my claw at him, snarling. "-you pissed me off!"

He chuckles. I feel my confidence shatter.

"Wh-What the hell are you laughing at?" This can’t be right! Not after all that damage I did! He can’t just be able to laugh like that! That barrage had to have done something, right?

"Nothing. It's just I can't believe a dipshit like you is using the hero's quotes when you're such a dick," OHMIGOD HE’S SITTING UP! "No, wait, I guess it does fit doesn't, it? Jotaro was a freaking asshole when he started out, wasn't he?" He’s standing… and posing again!

HENSHIN!"

“OH, COME ON!" I cover my eyes, as the light fades, I put them down.

In the words of Edna Mode: My God you’ve gotten fat.

"Fine then! If you want to be the 'hero', the I'll be the 'villain'! This fight was over before it started, hothead, I was just dragging it out to show you how outclassed you are!"

"Bullshit!" That added muscle mass might make him hit harder, but he’s also lost two arms! I-it’s possible he’s gotten slower…

Right?

"I could've finished this fight whenever I wanted! I could've beat you with a word!"

"Yeah fucking right! If that was true, you would've done that already!" Wait… Nah, he can’t. Maybe if I just keep my distance, he’ll run out of energy!

"You're right, not one word, three words. Three I think you'll recognize,” That’s what I’ll do. Once he does it, I’ll keep my distance and open fire. I think a good Heat Wave could stop him dead in his tracks.

"Oh yeah? Well go ahead and say them then!" He’ll be too distracted with whatever-

"You asked for it. TOKI WO TOMARE!"

"No. He can't-"

Soshite, toki wa ugoki dasu.

OH MY GOD! EVERYTHING BURNS! AIUTAMI AIUTAMI AIUTAMI!

His boot presses into my chest. I feel my ribs decompress. But… But I still have enough strength left for a close range Inferno. Yeah, if I do that… he should be stunned enough to Rest… That should do it.

"That's right, I can stop time. For thirty seconds, even if I do have to wait an hour before I can use it again. However, like I said, I can absorb anything, even copy the composition of matter." Wait, why’s he all gray and brown and- "EVEN IF IT'S JUST PUNCHES, IF I COPY ROCK IT SHOULD STILL DO FOUR TIMES DAMAGE, RIGHT!?"

AIUTAMI AIUTAMI AIUTAMI AIUTAMI AIUTAMI MIO DIO!

"MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA! MUDA!"

… In hindsight, asking God, aka Dio, for assistance is fairly ironic, given the circumstances.

With that, I feel the barrage stop. My bones feel like putty. My body is a pile of muck. Gilgamesh pries me from the rubble.

"I think you've learned your lesson. Or at least some of it. Now, it's time to fix this," I… I can’t do this...

"Just... kill me... get it... over with," I wheeze, the pain consuming my body.

"'Kill you?' No, not yet. Not when there's still hope."

"'Hope?'" The FUCK is he talking about?

"Now come on," He says, grabbing his spear and my PokéBall and cutting a path into the Void "We're taking you home to plan your future."

Author's Note:

What? You thought this was dead? TOO BAD, BITCHES!

Anyways, I sincerely apologize for the delay. I'm not a very motivated person by nature. And whenever I do get motivated, it's always terrible timing.

Sorry. Anyways, this is a crossover with For Glory! For Equus! For Epicness! by the positively fantastic motherfucker named Shinigamisparda. Read the prequel first, though. Because it's bitching!

Now, I hereby demand an official entry onto the MLP Displaced Wiki! Geo's cool enough! He deserves it!