• Published 6th Jul 2014
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Blazing Skies - SwimmingDalek98



Hello, and welcome to the world of Equestria! I'm Professor Discord! Equestria is inhabited by ponies! You're here to cause havoc and chaos for them! Tell me, what's your name? Geo? That's a nice name… Wait, what're yo

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I- Near Open Flame

Blazing Skies

Chapter 1: Near Open Flame

God, damn! My head feckin hurts! Okay, I didn't even TOUCH any cold ones last night, I'm sure of it! In fact, I didn't even come HOME last night… Wait, did I fall asleep at that goddamn con? Probably after some asshole called the cops and I got tased... again… Those stronzo better not have messed up my Charizard outfit… Took me months to get the fire on the tail right... Welp, might as well wake up, see how much the bail's gonna be… court's gonna be in… twenty days, this time? Maybe they'll quit feckin around, just gimme fifteen years behind the slammer. Well, that'll give me even less time to find someone to take care of my dog. He's literally the ONLY thing that's given me a reason to stay out of jail.

Sorry, is this too much for you? I think it's time for some exposition, because apparently none of you asshats can do your fucking homework. I'm Damian. Damian Giovanni. Yeah. I'm an Italian. What of it? Well, my dad's an Italian. My MOM, on the other hand? Irishman. I kid you not. You want proof? Pogh ma hoin. It means 'kiss my ass' in Gaelic. There, your fun fact for the day. Now, can we please get to this GODDAMN ACHE IN MY HEAD? Holy shit, this hurts! Okay, I'm pretty sure they hit me with a goddamn baton at this point! I can feel the lumps rising on my- Hey, wait a minute… those… those aren't lumps… Merda… what's going on? And my arms… WHAT THE HELL'S WITH MY ARMS? THEY FEEL SO TINY! MY GOD, SOMEBODY HELP ME!

I feel myself begin to hyperventilate, my chest rising and falling faster, as I try to pick myself up. My blurred vision makes out several different colors, and a bright light. Probably the sun. Yeah. It's definitely the sun. What else could it be?

"Well, HELLO there, buddy!"

God, DAMN! This feckin' chancer's gonna get his head beat in the moment my head stops spinning.

"Are you awake now? I know you're up! C'mon! Up, up, up!" Swear to GOD, he sounds like my roommate back in college… didn't I try to shove a pencil sharpener down his throat? Why'd I do that again? Oh, right… no reason at all. I was bored. Maybe that's why I got kicked off campus. Or maybe it was the fact that I tackled that one guy on the roof into the science wing. Or maybe-

"HELLO! C'mon, I've been waiting DAYS for this!" Whaddya want, an autograph? For crying out loud, he'll be LUCKY if I punch him out right now.

"Up, up, up!" Perche me? WHAT have I done to deserve this kind of treatment? Was it that time when I hit a judge with my car? That was an accident, alright? THAT was an accident! Was it the time I smacked the Jehovah's Witness? Okay, that was the THIRD ONE in the same amount of days! They were upsetting my dog!

"Time to wakey, wakey, wakey!" … Something tells me this bastard isn't the full shilling… NOBODY could be this cruel… not when someone's off their face like I am… Wait I'm laying down on my stomach, aren't I? So… I'm on my face?

"WAKE UUUUUPPP!" CAZZO! I swear, Imma smack him upside the head when I get up. That's inevitable.

I start to stretch my limbs, and try to stand up. My legs, feeling somewhat stubbier, slide up, and I use my arms and push myself off the ground. My eyes finally begin to clear up, and I see- MERDA, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING? IT LOOKS LIKE DR. FRANKENSTEIN GOT HIS HANDS ON THE MUPPETS!

"You alright, there? C'mon, buddy! I'm not THAT good-looking, am I?"

I… I… I don't even know how to respond to this. Literally… I CANNOT respond to this. So, Imma do what I normally do when my mind hits a roadblock: think.

So, let's review. I was at a con. I was Charizard. I was having fun, talking to people. NOBODY did anything that warranted me punching them in the face, and that's a first. I was at a stand, and I saw a Mega Ring and two Mega Stones. They were absolutely perfect. 100% accurate. But that merchant guy… he was kinda creepy… Something about him just set me off… I think I was planning to blow up his stand later… But then, after I walked away… I'm just drawing a blank…

"What's the matter? You can't tell what's going on, can you?"

No, but I'd like to. I glare at him, and hope that my expression tells him such, because my throat hurts too much for me to talk right now.

"Well, I hate to break it to you, but you've been struck by lightning."

GO WAY OUTTA THAT, YA FECKIN' IDJIT!

I groan, and hiss at him in response. There's NO WAY that could happen. I'm here now, aren't I?

"Well, it may seem impossible to one such as yourself, Geo, but you were struck by lightning. I saved you, but I had to pull you from your own universe! Now you're in Equestria!" Equi-whatta? And why'd he call me Geo? Oh... Oh, GOD... That's impossible. Geo...That was from years ago! Geo, my Charmander... when I was a little kid, playing FireRed, I made him a Charizard and everything. I brought him all the way to Y with Pokémon Bank. I've kept him with me for years now, I remember his every detail. Brave nature and likes to fight, and I even got him to level 100... his stats were all maxed out. His speed and HP were maxed out because his HP was naturally weak, and his speed was trash because of his nature... Wait, I had my 3DS on me for the con! Wait, did he say he pulled me through dimensions?

"That look on your face says you don't believe me. I guess I'll have to show you." He snapped his… eagle… talon… thing… and suddenly, a tree turned into pure iron. One moment, wood. The next, iron. "See, I'm Discord, the Spirit of Chaos in Equestria. See, I happened to notice your little plight, and I thought 'hey, why not do a good deed for the day and save someone's life'? When I pulled you in, I had to recreate your body… It was kind of… fried. There was some information leaking from you, but I managed to salvage some of it, and recreated your body. Here you are, Geo." He summons a mirror from thin air, and shows me the face of, well, a Charizard.

What. The. Feckin. HELL? So, that's it? Some feckin freak of nature god turns me into the Charizard I've had for years after I'm struck by lightning? WHERE DOES THIS GOBSHITE GET OFF?

"Hey, hey! I know it wasn't perfect, but would you rather have died?" That grabs my attention. Do I honestly want to have died there? Struck by lightning, after having lived my life as an extremely violent geek? I didn't even have any children. No heirs to my family's line. And if you're wondering, even IF that hadn't happened, I would never have gone to some puttana to lose my virginity to. I wanted to have come together with someone… who mattered. But now… I can't ever go back. I can NEVER have a normal life. I'm a freak. I'm a fire-breathing FREAK!

I raise my head and roar into the sky, and a column of flame comes from my mouth. Flamethrower. Somehow, I knew EXACTLY how to do that… Now my mind is racing, I know EVERY move that I had him learn over the years… Scratch, Growl, Smokescreen, Ember, Dragon Rage, Dragon Tail, Fire Fang, Flame Burst, Wing Attack, Aerial Ace, Fire Spin, Flare Blitz, Sky Drop, Incinerate, Dragon Claw, Giga Impact, Fly, Strength, Fire Punch, Rock Smash, BLAST BURN, FIRE PLEDGE, MEGA KICK, MEGA PUNCH, POWER-UP PUNCH, OVERHEAT FIRE BLAST, HEAT WAVE, INFERNO! HOW DO I KNOW ALL OF THIS!? I know how to use EVERY SINGLE MOVE! EVERY MOVE THAT HE EVER KNEW! Is there a Move Reminder in my head or something? Are we using the anime's rules, here? Pokémon don't ever forget moves, because things are more realistic in the anime? Pokémon can use more than four moves in there… Pikachu uses Quick Attack, Iron Tail, Thundershock, Volt Tackle, regular Tackle, and other stuff… that's WAY more than four moves.

… Wow, I'm taking this in WAY too easily… Probably not a good sign for my psychiatrist. Might as well ask Q over there how the hell I get back home. I turn my head to him, and when I try to speak, I only release groans and roars.

"Trying to speak, there? Sorry, I don't speak lizard. But I can make YOU speak pony!" He snaps his fingers and- wait, did he say pony? A bright light covers my entire body. I didn't really feel anything happen. Bu then again, I've been in this body for only about twenty minutes, and I don't even know how to move my tail.

"I… I don't feel any different." WOAH. I sound like feckin Jotaro Kujo… Or Liam Neeson. Nah, Jotaro Kujo. OH, I wish Charizard could learn Close Combat! ORAORAORAORA for LIFE! In all seriousness, I 'hear' my voice, but I also hear the Charizard roar underneath. I try vocalizing for a while, and realize I can switch between Charizard speak and Jotaro.

"But you certainly SOUND different, my boy! Now, then, you're probably wondering what I'm going to have use do next, and I'll tell you right now, it- MMPH!" A quick Rock Smash later, and he's out of the picture. Now, time to stretch these wings. I try to command my wings to open, or move, but I get nothing. Move. C'mon, MOVE! FLY ME TO THE MOON, DAMNIT! Wait, calm down… I remember a trick from SAO's second season… that show was nice and all, but the romance part was a little bit rushed in my opinion. The lore of it was really set out, though. I really did like it. In fact, if I had that kind of stuff, I would've been ON Geo's back, flying all around the world of Pokémon! But now… wait, time to get back on track.

I have to feel them out. I walk over to a tree, and lean back. Both of my wings' tips tap against the tree. I can feel them. Not like when you feel someone grab onto your backpack or something, but if it was an arm or a leg. I feel the nerves and bones that build them. The powerful muscles that unite them. Now, if my learning of Flamethrower says anything, this should be a breeze. Fly!

I soar into the air, like Superman. I even start to hear the old theme in my head, and I start to strike the pose. Now, when I see myself start to reach the cloud level, I stop. I slow my ascent, and begin using heavy flaps to maintain my altitude. "It's a little bumpy… meh, still beats Delta." I look around, and I see various rural towns in the distance. Figuring I should meet the people who run this place, and hopefully know a way home, I turn, and shoot like a rocket towards a town not far from the forest I just rose from. It looks like something out of that Mickey Mouse Clubhouse thing, mixed with Medieval Europe.

I curve up as I start to pull in, and slow my descent with powerful flaps, knocking dust into the air around me. I hear people around me start screaming. Then again, a dragon did kind of just fly in on their little town. The dust clouds my vision, and I start looking around. "Hello? Is anybody there? I need to talk to your leader! This is kind of important!"

"Oh! Excuse me! Oof! Coming through! Sorry! Pardon me! My bad! Could you move, please?" An annoyingly sincere voice calls out as she moves through the silhouetted crowd. I'm guessing this girl's in charge.

"Hey! Outta the way! Move it, bozo!" A sharper, but somewhat squeaky voice sounds off to my right, and I train my eye on that one, as well. Probably the town punk, or something. Maybe even the drunk. Nah, this one's too coherent. A drunk's either sputtering gibberish while hammered off his/her own ass, or hung over more than a towel on a year-old laundry rack. Damn, I need to come up with better stuff than that.

"Pardon, y'all! Ah need entry! Move it!" okay, what the hell? First Sandra Dee from Grease, then Sandy during the ENDING scene, and then we get Walker, Texas Ranger? As a chick? Guess there ARE no exceptions to Rule 63… even across dimensions.

"Would you care to move, darling? Oh, dear! So much dust! I just did my hair!" … And now we have someone straight out of… I can't even come up with a nothing snarky. Damn, today is just not my day, is it?

"Outta the way! Party queen, coming through!" DIO MIO, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING? It sounds like a first grader on a mix between a sugar high and helium!

So… now there's five potential enemies that are apparently 'in charge' of the town. Okay, let's consider possible escape options. I don't know if I'm up against humans, or what. The reason I say 'or what' is because of that freak back there. For all I know, these could be elves. Or orcs. Nah, elves. Too slim to be orcs. And if there are women in charge, that pins it down to elves. Humans and 'matriarch' go together like oil and water. We're so well-honed in a patriarchy that it's only recently women have actually been getting the attention they deserve. In fact, back in 2016, President-

"Uhm, could you move, please? I'm sorry, if you don't want to, then I don't wanna be a burden..." What. The. Royal. Feck. Is. THAT? I'm pretty sure it's only my lizard senses that let me hear that. It would also explain why I can hear those specific voices among all this chatter. Huh, I didn't know that Charizards had above-average hearing. Well, they're already fire-breathing, flying badasses that can assume TWO Mega forms. Why not add another bonus to the mix? But seriously, I don't even HAVE a snarky description for that. It's just that far outta left field for me.

The dust begins to settle, and the six 'leaders' begin moving closer, and forming a sort of 'ring'.

"Okay, calm down, everypony. We can work this out." Yeah, right. Wait, every-what? Every…

The FECK ARE THEY? They're… HORSE PEOPLE? Okay, I would've accepted dog people. I would've accepted cat people. I would've accepted BUNNY PEOPLE FOR CRYING OUT- wait, actually, all three of those would've made me freak, too… I want PEOPLE, not FURRIES!

"CAZZO!"

"What? Uh, can it even understand us, Twi?" Texas Ranger turned to 'Twi', as if she knew all the answers.

"Yeah, he can, and he is very feckin pissed off right now! Do any of you asshats know Discord?"

Based on their reaction, I'd say he was this place's Gary Oak. I can HEAR the rival music playing in my head, now that I made the comparison… and GODDAMNIT! Now I got a picture of him with Gary's hair!

"Now, calm down, sugarcube. Just what'd Discord do to ya?"

"First off, don't call me sugarcube. I don't get dropped into someone's morning tea. Second, EVERYTHING. Sai, volevo vedere il mondo! Stavo per vedere le attrazioni! Parigi, Londra, assolutamente da nessuna parte nel Midwest! Ma poi, lui mi ha preso e mi ha mandato a questo paese delle fate fottuto!" I didn't even notice that I slipped into Italian. "Quando metto le mani addosso, io lo Sky goccia così forte che non sarà in grado di fare la sua magia dito merda per ANNI, mi senti? ANNI!"

"Uh… Gesundheit?" Okay, NO. You can kill me, that'll mean I don't have to pay taxes. You can turn me into a Charizard, and fulfill my childhood dream of Pokémon. But NOBODY, and I mean NOBODY, especially not a feckin horse-person gay pride poster tomboy, insults the Italian language.

"Vaffanculo!" I turn to her, and glare. Wait, the fuck? She has wings. Feckin WINGS. She was HOVERING in the air. Okay, let's calm down a minute. You don't know what you're up against. Evaluate the enemy. Step one: identify the number of enemies. So far, if they were to all mob rush me, it would be in the dozens. But it looks like the rest are too scared, so it's just these six. Six.

Okay, I've been against worse. Six in armor and with pepper spray. But then I was a human with no idea of what to do. Now I'm a CHARIZARD with full control of the situation. Now, these six each appear to be of a different species each… let's see… the blue one is a… horse… bird… person… anthropomorphic pegasus? Makes sense. Again, I'm a Charizard. I am NOT gonna complain. It looks like she's a pretty athletic type, judging by appearance. She looks like a good fighter. But I seriously doubt she can get out of a solid Fire Spin. That is, if she can even fight, and not just do athletics.

Next, we have a yellow one that's also a pegasus. But honestly, I think I can bring this number down to five. She looks like she's gonna piss herself just by standing here. Next we have… anthropomorphic… unicorn? Yeah. Horned horse. Heh, she's horny. Heh-heh… WOW, I need better material. At this point, I'm doing Beavis and Butthead skits.

Anyways, this one also doesn't look like a fighter. We're down to four. Probably would wail if she cracked a nail… which she actually did… I hope she doesn't notice that while I'm still in hearing range… Damn, I'm already learning the disadvantages of superpowers. Next up, is a... pink… normal horse person? I'll go with that. She also looks like she's tripping balls. Seriously, how the feck is she BOUNCING like that? It's creepy… OK, down to three potential enemies. One solid Scratch should be enough for her.

Next is the farmer. Normal pony-person, from the looks of things. Decent muscle build, but it looks like that farm work would probably slow her down. She's used to slow, but strong work. Not the fast pace of a street fight. Especially not one against a CHARIZARD. But, since I know that, as a human I was WAY tougher than I looked, and I looked like a first-class wimp, she's still a potential enemy.

Finally… What do I even say? This one looks like a chimera… horn AND wings… Pegacorn? Unisus? Forget it. She looks like a student in an anime, probably a harem, rather than a fighter. But, again, the whole hybrid thing gives me the whiles. Probably the strongest of them all. A quick Dragon Tail would be enough to test her level of physical endurance. If she survives that, a Fire Blast should finish her as she picks herself up. No recovery, either. Just BAM! BAM! Like Batman. Nananananananananana…

"Hey! Are you just gonna sit around yelling all day, or are you gonna say something we can understand?" AND, there goes a tune I've been trying to remember for years. Seriously, sometimes the best things just slip by under the mediocre. I remember how my da watched that stuff with me, and told me that's what he watched as a kid, and I fell hard for it. So, there's the story of my start as a massive geek. I live on my own, with my dog, watch cartoons and anime in my free time, and then I go to work in a Snickers factory. Hey, those things are DELICIOUS, alright?

"Well, maybe I will… if you don't stab me the minute I make a move." Did I mention that some of them are picking up weapons? Just basic mob weapons. Torches, pitchforks, and- IS THAT A HAMMER? Oh. Blacksmith. NOW I see. Wait, do they ALL have ass tattoos? Every single one of them. Even the men. Are tramp stamps that popular in Arcadia, or wherever the hell I am? Maybe I should get one… wait, that's stupid. Charizard's already awesome enough. I don't need any more… Wait, maybe some tattoos would do me some good… maybe my family seal… For reference, it's a foot stomping on a snake, with the words 'Nemo me impune lacessit' on it. That would be COOL. Just walking around with 'touch me and I fuck your day up' written on my side. That would be SWEET. Wait, what the hell am I saying, it's still a tramp stamp.

"Okay, everypony calm down… No need for violence, I'm sure he's just a little scared, is all." Lady, you are SO far in the wrong. Honestly, I'm HOPING somebody does something. I NEED to tear down a building or two. I always meant 'break everything inside' but now I can literally mean it!

"Uhm… Mr… Dragon?" The yellow bed-wetter (heh, pun) walks over to me, "Can… can you please calm down? I promise nopony will hurt you, just let us all talk it over, alright?" That smile… HOLY SHIT THAT SMILE! I can't believe I'm saying this about a horse, but that's the smile of an angel right there! I think… my heart's gonna burst…

"My name… is Geo… And I'm already pretty calm…" Dang, my lips are dry… all this yelling's got my throat parched. I'll need some water, soon. My lizard tongue unconsciously passes over my lips, wetting them some.

"Oh, my!" My eyes widen at her sudden exclamation. What's going on? Wait, don't tell me… I've seen enough anime to know what I just did… I just made everyone freak out, didn't I? They're either thinking I'm gonna eat her, rape her, or both. I'd better step back.

"Hey, easy, now! I'm just thirsty, is all. Didn't mean anything by it!" As much as testing out my new power would be, I'd much rather do it on something that's earned my wrath… like Dave from down the street. Dang guy keeps sending his darn kids to either egg my house or steal my paper. I KNOW it's him! And now I'm gonna burn the evidence into everyone's minds, pun unavoidable. But now? I probably just lost my best shot at getting out of this place. Well, break open my back door with a brick, why don't ya?

"You CREEP!" BAM! I feel something hit me in the side of the head. HARD. I've felt the imprint of a fist before, but never before have I felt one that was just so damn FAST. I slide back at least a few feet, and stretch my neck down, and stroke my cheek.

"Cazzo! You zoccola! I said it was an accident! Alright, FUCK this! Time to kill some puttana! DRAGON CLAW!" Yep, I'm going by anime rules, now. I just called an attack. No going back now. My claw becomes coated in a black, red, and purple energy, kinda like the Dragon element in Monster Hunter. I fly forwards, and slice with all my might. It creates a small blast, and I watch them all scatter. Now, I should prioritize. The blue one's fastest. She's the one I'll have to contend with the most if I want air superiority. That means I target her. But first…

"Smokescreen!" A stream of smoke emerges from my mouth, and GOD that tastes terrible. Well, now I'm in a steady cloud of smoke. I can't see, or smell them out, but I can certainly hear them…

"What the hay's going on? Rainbow, why'd you DO that? He said it was an accident! Now we have an angry dragon in the middle of Ponyville!"

Dragon? OH, they've never HEARD of Pokémon, have they? Well, not worth explaining it to them. Might as well take advantage. Time to die, Twi! Hey, a rhyme! "MEGA KICK!" BRUCE LEE TIME! I burst from the smoke, and my foot collides with the side of a building, narrowly missing her. Damn, guess I didn't think that through… They're agile, so that means I'll have to use something more accurate…

"Aerial Ace!" I zoom around, confusing them all so that I can land the 100% guaranteed attack. I also managed to see where the six are each located. Yellow stayed right next to where I was originally standing, Orange was close to 'Twi', Pink was… armed with pots and pans? Whatever. It'll all just melt onto her body, and she'll only have herself to blame. Now, I've located 'Rainbow'. Time to dominate the sky…

SKRIK!

A sickening slash echoes through the air. I turn to her, and glare, hoping I managed to hit something vital. Don't want here getting back up later and trying to get revenge and- WHAT THE FECKIN HELL? I HIT FLESH! I KNOW I DID! THERE SHOULD BE BLOOD! WHY IS SHE NOT EVEN PHASED? THIS SCANGER'S INNARDS SHOULD BE ALL OVER THE GROUND! THE BLOODY HELL?

"Wait a minute… is that...cake batter?" True enough, there was- I kid you not- A WEDDING CAKE. Right over her stomach area. With a HUGE slice taken out of it. How in the HELL did that happen? Wait a minute… Pink!

"Heh, that was close!" Sure enough, there was Pink, who had wheeled the whole cake to Rainbow. 'How', and 'where', I will never understand. But now I understand the 'who'. The only thing left is the 'when' and the 'why'. WHEN did she have the time to get that cake? And WHEN did she wheel it to Rainbow BEFORE I could get there- Me, a CHARIZARD at TOP SPEED- and right where I sliced? WHY did she know I was going to target Rainbow? None of them are even CLOSE to being fighters! They can't prioritize for SHIT!

"How did you know?"

"I didn't!"

"That is the biggest guff I've ever heard. You KNEW I would need air superiority, and to maintain that, I would need to be rid of fliers! But how did you know it was Rainbow I would target? Yellow can fly, too! Heck, I could've attacked ANY flier in the town! I probably COULD do it with minimal trouble. You KNEW I would've needed to target the fliers! But HOW did you know it was Rainbow?"

"My Pinkie Sense!" … Is that some version of Foresight? The ability to predict events around you… Is she a Psychic type? Only one way to find out! Let's use a Power-Up Punch! If you're wondering why he has that, I wanted him to have the best possible moveset available, and the most rounded-out one, too. I would've just used a bunch of Heart Scales at the Move Reminder if I needed to. They were moves that could work against enemies he's weak to. But the sad part is I never actually did anything like that, I just got more offensive moves for him. He's REALLY good at offensive play, believe me.

"OOH! Shaky tongue! Cold teeth! THAT MEANS DUCK!"

Too late. "GOTCHA BITCH! POWER-UP PUNCH!"

My fist swings through the air, now coated in yellow energy, the 'ki' of the Fighting type. I swear to GOD, I missed by a GNAT'S GONAD on that one! All I hit was that weird cotton candy hair of hers. A second sooner, and I would've splattered her brains ALL OVER the ground. Well, I still have this! "Mega… KICK!"

KRUNCH!

"PINKIE PIE!"

To be continued...

Author's Note:

And yes, I'm aware Geo's a total ass. He's supposed to be like that.

Proof-read by Ssendam the Masked! Go check him out, and behold a skill greater than my own!

And yes, Shepherd 0821's anthros were EXACTLY what I was going for… Animesque, but at the same time, similar enough to MLP animation. Besides, those 4Koma comics are so hilarious, I HAD to acknowledge the creator.

So, for reference, anything not in English will be italicized, along with anything that I emphasize. Moves will be underlined. I don't know quite what to do with bold, yet, but gimme time, and I'll figure something out.

And seriously. Discord with Gary's hair. Somebody do that. Now. For the sake of humanity, DO IT!

By the way, Geo (the Pokémon) is NOT based off of anything I have. But I've heard people who have brought Pokémon from WAY back in FireRed and LeafGreen to X and Y. So, yeah.

By the way, this takes place in the future. The 3DS is still around. I don't know if there's any new Pokémon games, so I won't touch that subject. I like to make accurate predictions. Old habit of mine of not trying to predict anything in the along-term future. To me, that's just fate, and that is at the top of my ABSOLUTELY MOST HATED THINGS list.

Anyways, until next time, ciao!