• Published 10th Apr 2012
  • 10,283 Views, 239 Comments

AAAAAAAAAAAAArientation - BillyColt



All the stallions are gay for Braeburn.

  • ...
21
 239
 10,283

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Braeburn!" said Twilight Sparkle, forcing a grin onto her face.

"Cuz..." said Applejack, also making an effort to sustain some facade of enthusiasm.

Big Macintosh just stared, dead-faced at the four stallions. Mrs. Cake seemed overtaken with an expression of uneasiness. Fluttershy had a marked sense of curiosity, while Pinkie Pie bounced around the room, oblivious to everything that was going on. Rainbow Dash had her face buried in a book, desperately trying to keep from cracking up.

"Excuse me, um, dears," said Mrs. Cake. "I was wondering if any of you had seen my husband?"

"Your husband?" asked Braeburn. "What's he look like?"

"Well, he's tall, skinny, yellow coat, freckles?" she asked.

"Hmm..." Braeburn pondered. "Nope. Sorry ma'am, I don't believe that rings any bells."

"Oh Celestia, I gotta find him quick!" she cried, before bolting out the door.

Braeburn and his posse looked after her with confused looks.

"Sheeeeee'll be fine," said Twilight. "Seriously. Why don't you, uh, come in, make yourself at homo–I mean home."

"Much obliged," said Braeburn, setting his hat on the rack and allowing his golden-blonde mane to cascade down the back of his neck.

The three other stallions sat down with eager expressions while Big Macintosh watched them with narrow eyes. The girls milled around awkwardly, unsure of how to break the ice.

"Alright, boys," said Twilight, taking out a quill and beginning to write. "Now, there really isn't a particularly easy way to talk about this, but–" She stopped. "Wait. Why are you here?"

"Well," said Braeburn, "I thought that since you had such a lovely library it'd be a darn tootin' shame to not pick up some fine readin'."

Twilight's quill continued to draw across the paper despite there not being any ink on it. "Well..." she said. "That works. Anyway, I–" SNAP! "Oh, horn rot!"

"What?" everypony asked.

"My quill broke," she said, holding up the feather in frustration. She sighed. "Well, I'll have to–"

"Well, that won't be a problem ate all," said Braeburn, grabbing his hat from the coat rack. "I saw the store just a little ways back. I'll be back before you can say 'apple biscuits!'"

"No!" Twilight yelled. Her horn glowed and her magic aura covered the door, but before it could shut, Braeburn had bolted out.

"Heeheeheehee!" Pinkie Pie giggled.

"Pinkie," sighed Twilight, "this is no laughing matter."

"But fuh-huh-huunny boooone!" Pinkie Pie moaned through her laughter.

Applejack turned to Big Macintosh. "C'mon, we gotta stop him!"

"No, no, no," said Twilight. "We are going to stay right here and think calmly, rationally..."

The door flew open with a slam, and Rarity (her mane not quite so fabulous as it usually was) stood in the doorway. "Something horrible has happened!"

Twilight threw her head up. "AUGH!"

***

Mrs. Cake rushed back to Sugarcube Corner, desperately trying to think where her husband could possibly be. She wracked her brains, trying to think where he would be at this time of day. He should have just been there, doing work like they normally did.

"Ohhh dear..." she moaned. "Where could he have gone?"

"Honeybun?"

Mrs. Cake spun around and saw her husband standing at the door to the cellar. His mouth was drawn back in an expression of concern at his wife's distraught state.

"Honeybun?" he asked again. "Are you okay?"

"Where were you?" she asked.

"Uhh..." said Mr. Cake. "In the basement. I think we're running a little low on frosting, so we..."

"So you haven't been out of the house?" she asked, walking cautiously up to him.

"Well, not today I..."

"So you haven't seen a stallion in a hat and jacket, have you?"

"Uhh... no?" He raised an eyebrow. "Honeybun, is there something..."

And with that, Mrs. Cake shoved him through the doorway. Mr. Cake fell, wide-eyed, letting out an "oof!" as he hit every step on the way down.

"I'm only doing this because I love you!" Mrs. Cake called down, before shutting the door and propping a chair up against it. And, satisfied that her work was done, she sat down on the chair and took some much-needed rest.

***

Back at the library, Rare Find looked over the small assembled crowd, between the stallions eagerly anticipating the Braeburn's return and the mares's various expressions of boredom and concern. Pinkie Pie was chattering up an excited conversation with Lucky and Caramel, going over plans for her big party.

"So... what am I supposed to be doing here?" he asked.

Twilight sat in front of her chart and sighed.

"Oh," said Rare Find. "Are you doing dating or something?"

"Uhh, hey," said Colton, approaching him. "I wanted to ask you about something."

"Umm..."

"Well, y'see, I wanted to ask with help with, well, uh..." Colton awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. "Coming out?"

Rare Find stared at him and blinked. "You?" he asked. "You have a girlfriend."

The grape pony lowered his head. "I'm living a lie..." he said despondently.

"Nopony in here is living a lie," said Twilight. "Okay, we have to explain it. Applejack? Maybe you can explain?"

Applejack took a step forward. "Okay, so, since my cousin has come t' town and you've seen him, well, you might be experiencing... feelings..."

"Hgt!"

The ponies all shot disdained looks at Rainbow Dash, whose struggles to suppress her laughter were faltering more and more with each passing word. Applejack took a deep breath.

"Look, you boys have all gotcherselfs goin' ga-ga over cousin Braeburn, well it's because of some weird magic," she explained. "I mean, I could tell y'alls about my brother here."

"Uhh, sis?" asked Big Macintosh.

"He might not make a show of it right now, but when we were foals he'd go giving flowers to cousin Braeburn." She chuckled a bit at the recollection. "Gave Granny Smith an afternoon of goin' to her room... starin' at the wall..."

"BAHAHAHAHAHA!" Rainbow Dash didn't even bother trying to hold it in anymore. "Nononono, keep... keepahaha keep Braeburn in town. Then... then Rare Find can pick a boyfriend."

"But what about me?" asked Rarity. The other ponies all looked at her. She shrank down a little. "Well, that is, us. I mean, the mares in town. If he unwittingly steals all the eligible stallions away, well, that will leave us a bunch of old mares!"

Fluttershy looked at Big Macintosh. "You got him flowers?" she asked quietly. If Big Macintosh weren't already red he would've blushed. "Aww," said Fluttershy, "that's so sweet."

Big Macintosh smiled a little bashfully. "Eeyup."

"Wait, so..." Caramel asked. "We aren't actually... y'know..."

"Well, depends on whether you count magic-induced homosexuality as being 'actually y'know,'" said Twilight.

"Can I still have the party?" asked Pinkie Pie. "I've just been thinking for so long about what we could do!"

"You were planning a mass-coming-out-of-the-closet party for 'so long'?" asked Twilight. "Sometimes I get the feeling that I do not want to know what goes on inside your head."

Pinkie Pie just stood there with her little grin on her little face, still pleased as punch with her party plans. Twilight shrugged and returned to her chart.

"Well, we can still have the party," she conceded. "It'll probably be the best time to explain everything that's going on."

"Well, as the only one in here who's actually gay, I think I'll judge this Braeburn for myself," said Rare Find. "Where did he go?"

"Oh, he should be back soon," said Twilight. "He went to the quills and sofas shop."