Myths and legends have always drawn us in with their mysterious allure. The high born elven ponies, the sturdy dwarven ponies, nimble-winged fairy folk, mighty troll kind, delicate fey creatures, the list can go on forever. Each appeal to us in their own way, especially if you research them for a living like Lore Seeker does. But what happens when your life-long search bares fruit? What happens when those legends come alive? Worse, what do you do when they pull you into the middle of a bloody conflict that has spanned millenia?!
Would you stay to delve deeper into their world, or would you run from truths too horrible to believe? Would you fight for strangers who want only for peace, or would you run to save your own kind? Would you live on only for yourself, or would you die for new friends?
Your answers matter not, for words are empty. Only actions can speak our true hearts, and it is only in our darkest moments that we discover who we really are. So who will you be? Observer, or savior? Warrior, or coward? Footnote, or legend? Only time knows for certain, but that time, is now.
Disclaimers:
*Any non-show characters in this story (i.e. OC's), were created for the express purpose of this story. They are not self-inserts or representations of actual people.*
I need to see the next chapter of this to think it's good. While you do set up a good story and compliment it with good dialog, the characterization... isn't complete yet. In the first chapter I usually hope for the establishment of the story and characters. When you first meet Lucky he seems to be the sensible one, but later he is revealed to be brash. At first Lore seems adventurous, but ends seemingly cautious. When you first introduce a character you can't have them in situations where they have to act like they don't usually. You have to give us some breathing room to get used to a character(s), before they... act out of character! I understand that Lore is trying to get the map, but couldn't you have made his development longer than three-quarters of a conversation before having him act cautious, because he has to. When developing a character you need to set a precedent of how they usually act before having them act they way they need to act to respond to a unique situation. You need to have complete characters during the first chapter of a story, and starting us off in the middle of a unique conversation, under unique circumstances, where they have to adapt their choices and traits to the situation, isn't the best start.
4668275 While I would normally agree with you on this, I feel I should clarify. This first chapter is more about establishing Lore and Lucky's relationship rather than their individual characters. They always tend to balance each other out in that way close friends often do. Lore isn't really being adventurous here, though he can be at times, he is just doing what he feels he needs to do. Poking fun at Lucky for being serious is just a bonus. Generally, Lucky is the more random one. He likes to make wise-cracks and joke around, and generally be a crazy sack of random, but underneath all of that he understands there is a time and a place for being serious. This is why we see him start out serious and concerned, he is worried for his friend, which causes him to drop his usual antics. This is also why we see him fall right back into those antics when he finally gets Lore to explain what is going on. Serious Lucky accomplished his goal of getting an explanation, so silly Lucky came back out to poke fun at his friend. It's the same with Lore, though he is by far the more rational and grounded one. They both like to laugh and keep things lighthearted, but when it counts, they get serious.
4668589 As I said earlier, in the first chapter I hope for establishment of characters and story in the first chapter of a story. While I understand that this chapter is devoted to a relationship, I feel that a story should develop the characters before that, unless the entire story is devoted to their relationship. I'm fairly sure that this story is devoted to the exposition and the characters first, and their relationships second. What you're doing is the equivalent of labeling all the buttons on a submarine, before making sure they work. While that synonym wasn't the best, what I meant was that you're putting your secondary objective as first, and that doesn't work in a literary situation. The first chapter of a story sets a precedent as to what it will all around be about, and unless expanding upon their relationship is your primary objective( and even then you need to set up their characters primarily) than...
Well I think this looks promising. Can't wait to see how it develops.
Yes you should have.
awesome. nuff said.
Why would he pack dice?
... NEVER MIND! Forget I asked. I don't wanna know.
I'm liking this the more I read it.
There was one error of note. This sentence should be put thusly: 'They stayed silent for a time, to tired too talk and too depressed to want to.' (The second comma is missing by design) Looking forward to more! In the meantime, have a 'thumbs up' on me! 
Also, the 'fields of asphodel' was a nice touch by the way.
I have to say: I'm a sucker for elves so I'm really interested in where this is going. (Elves and Ponies! Does it get more fun?) I love the dynamic you've created between Lore and Lucky. I can't wait to see what happens when the darker elements are introduced.
5030007 1) Because he is a Dungeon Master, and they never go anywhere without their lucky dice. After all, who knows when you might need to roll for initiative!
2) Thanks for the thumbs up! As you can see the story really needs it, ever since it got slammed by a flurry of 'OC Story hate' down votes. As for the correction, I'll get on it right away.
5038282 Thank you very much, I'm glad you like it.
I won't say too much, but I /will/ say that the next chapter should give you something to be excited about.
Regarding Lore and Lucky, I used the dynamic between me and my roomie as the basis, which is why I occasionally let him give an opinion on Lucky's dialogue. (The 'cowabunga' bit for example)
As for the darker elements, there have already been small glimpses in ch 2 & 3 of the mood that is to come, but they were a mere taste. The story from this point forward will begin to have those darker elements consistently. Once I get into the meat of the story, I'll have to switch the 'comedy' tag to 'sad'. I can guarantee you this though, before the end, you will cry. As they say, the night is darkest just before the dawn.
5040677 I can't wait!
Well, I like the prologue. Can't wait to see how this develops! (P.S. Sorry bout not being on Skype lately. Life took a weird turn for the foreseeable future.)
Well, you manage to make nothing fairly interesting. And I think you picked a very good place to stop.
It's sort of weird having your favorites box show you you've already read something.
5537676
Hooray! I didn't **** it up! Now on to the elves!
5537804 True, but I changed a lot since that initial draft.
5537897 Yay! Elves!
5537904 You. Don't listen to him.
5537936 And /you/ can be quiet because I already told you it's /never/ going to happen.
I wonder if they'll be able to find the forest now that Lucky deviated from the path.
Wow! I'm glad Lucky is ok. Sorry It took me so long to get to this, there has been a lot going on. I know I said before, but your equine elves sound gorgeous, and very elf-y.
Ooo! Though, I will admit, despite the fact that I do love elves, I never learned the language. Your dedication is far greater than mine.
and I forgot to mention last night that I really like your translation spell. Its really well thought through and fits nicely with the what is going on and also means I don't have to read Elvish.
6087264 Truthfully, there's a fine line between being dedicated, and simply refusing to use the standard conventions because you find them ridiculous; aka "The entire universe happens to speak English for no apparent reason because we're lazy".
I'm glad you like the translation spell though. I actually came up with the idea of having it all handled by a spell back when I fist started the story, after spending about 3 hours translating a single sentence into Quendya (Elven). This was also about the time I realized that, when people say Tolkien created his own 'language' for the elves, they are being veeeeery generous with the definition of 'language'. I mean honestly, what kind of language needs 16 different words for 'tree'?! Not 16 words for different types of trees or parts of trees, just 'tree'.
Frankly, it's no wonder the elves speak mostly English in the movies, they can't understand each other most of the time either!
6093315 I have heard that. I once read that Tolkien got fan letters written in Elvish or Elvin or whatever, that he couldn't read.
6094700 Yeah, elven is pretty ridiculously over-complicated. Not to mention there are technically 4 different versions (dialects?), that are all different. Sindarin, Quenya, Noldorin, and Nandorin. I used Quenya in case you were wondering, as it's the most complete.
P.S. - If you or anyone else wanted to take a crack at translating my translations, I would suggest using this compiled Elven dictionary. Parf Edhellen
I like your creation story. I can see the elements of a lot of cultures went into it.
6512599 Thanks!
I put a lot of thought into it. There are more races than just those three of course, but those three are the most significant and make up the current majority of the lost races. There are about 12 more races that make up the whole of the 'Lost Races', but they are minorities, and were (historically) less socially structured or less culturally advanced. Most of these other races follow the 'Trinity of Creation' as well.
6512727 Cool!
At first I read the title as "Legends of Vore" XD
6995640 And here I was thinking all I had to worry about was people mistakenly taking it for a League of Legends thing because of the same initials.
6996049 Happens to the best of us, mate.