• Member Since 15th Apr, 2014
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Jetfire2012


Excited to finally have a FIMfiction account! Will post my stuff here now.


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Off the south and eastern shores of old Manehattan, there is an island where the sun never rises. An island where a sickly bluish light suffuses all the darkened air, where trance music rocks and pulses through the grandly sculpted cities like the pumping of the blood. An island to which Equestria is rapidly losing population, as well as influence.

What is this place, this land of Nocturne? And who- or what- is its mysterious ruler?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 66 )

Hmm, this seems interesting. The description is giving me all kinds of chills.

Oh yeah. I remember this one. Man, this is ancient.

spoiler warning to new readers.

You must feel like a physic considering what happens to Rarity it the first main arc of the comics

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Sssssssort of. It's not quite the same thing. Nightmare Rarity in the comics was pretty much a prisoner in her own mind. Queen Rarity is Lawful Evil entirely of her own volition.

But yes, I do derive some satisfaction from being the first to do Nightmare Rarity.

I remember this story! I didn't remember that it was you who wrote it, though. Nice to have a chance to fave and upvote it. :twilightsmile:

This is actually pretty awesome.
And it left me wanting more.

oh man... I remember this one! Good times and good memories. Glad to see it posted here!

Oh. Oh!
Is this the one where Twilight visits Rarity on the island with all the weird adaptions to dark stuff?
This is reallly ancient. And awesome. Have a fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/357/9/7/hoof_up_by_comeha-d6z0jqb.png

trance? I think maybe Dark DnB seems edgier

i will watch and watch and wait and read and watch and learn and watch and lurk

Looks like the jet fuel is still burning unimpeded. I'll check this out soon.

This one is new to me.

"Queen Rarity" sounds interesting, and prepared, but she's up against Celestia, who has a thousand years of experience. It sounds like an interesting contest (see paralels with the division of Poland between Germany and Russia).

I remember this and still love it. The reference to 'Ancalagon the Black' especially made me smile. At least it wasn't Glaurung...

Man this brings me back, such a great story!

Exactly as depressing as I remember.

I've had this itch for a while. The itch was about looking for the author who wrote a dark story a longass time ago about Nightmarity ruling an area.
That itch has been scratched.

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"Edgy" doesn't seem to be the point. Twilight calls the island one big nightclub, and that's hitting the nail on the head.

YES! The real Nightmare Rarity has finally arrived! :raritystarry: :pinkiehappy:

In all seriousness, though, this was among some of the very first MLP fanfics I've ever read, and it most definitely wasn't a disappointing experience. It was also one of the first "bad ends" that I really enjoyed, despite it also frustrating me to no end (since I still want the good guys to win at the end of it all... :ajsmug:)

Anyway, I'm really glad to have found and read it again. In fact, it's even better than how I remembered it. Way back, not long before (or perhaps after) I first read this fic, my friend and I discussed that if anypony among the Mane Six would make sense as turning into antagonist, then it would be Rarity. Her personality alone would make her both a logical and ideal candidate, what with the insecurity, keen eye for detail, a desire for perfection, and of course her usual behavior (speech, movements, etc.), which, if she were to become evil, would make her the best kind of villain. Here, her character is much deeper than usual, not to mention so deliciously slippery that I can't help but smile whenever she says or does something. And as much as I loved the comic version, it can't hold a candle to this incarnation -- which is, in my eyes, the "original" -- though I was surprised to find that the former's creators made this choice as well.

All that said, this fic is a true gem, not unlike Rarity herself... :duck:

...although I still have trouble understanding what purpose the whole "nightclub" element has... :derpytongue2:

Just to balance out all the praise, however, I must criticize how the "good guys" are apparently blind to what's really happening (unless they're being very secretive about it, though this is never even hinted at). I suppose Rarity saying that the princesses are not taking her seriously yet explains their own ignorance regarding the former's scheme, but I would imagine at least Twilight Sparkle would suspect something after Rarity went as far as she did, up to and including stealing her friends from her. Even if all appearances spoke of the contrary, I can hardly imagine Twilight wouldn't try to unearth some sort of evidence to convince everypony that Rarity is up to no good. For all the "prophetic qualities" this story has (i.e Nightmare Rarity), it certainly didn't hit the mark with Twilight during the wedding episode, for example...

Then again, we have no information about what passes beyond the little cliffhanger we get at the end. For all we know, Twilight's little tour of the city would end up very badly considering Nocturne's future... or perhaps it would thrive in case she decided to join them as well. I also realize that the focus of this story is to show what Nightmare Rarity's world looks like, and not how Equestria might plan to put a stop to it. My point is that I lack any sense of a two-sided conflict, or at the very least a proper explanation for why it's still one-sided after something as significant as riots happening throughout Equestria. I have my theories, sure, but at that point I'm adding to the story rather than unearthing from it...

But despite all that, this fic is still a stellar experience. Thank you for sharing it, and congratulations for creating something so exquisite! :raritywink:

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tho dats wuts its tryin' ta bee

Hello, did this just get published here? Glad to see it in the library, at last.

Alondro just waits until the entire population of the island is physically debilitated by ricketts and colon cancer, then invades and easily destroys the emo inhabitants.

(Ya need yer Vitamin D ta be a proper Viking!) :pinkiecrazy:

“I hope so,” Rarity said. “Nocturne is the culmination of every dream I ever have had. I have striven to create...” she paused dramatically, “a masterpiece. A work of art.

Many artists are severly obsessed, depressed, and suicidal.

There's more to running a nation than making it look pretty.

And besides, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." I personally find this Nightmare place very drab and dismal. And the music... ugh. I'd end up killing half the population just to silence it!

And how Celestia wins: she sets Discord free again.

(smirks)

An obsessive power-mad tyrant like Rarity would never be able to best him. And the Elements would certainly never lend their aid to one so selfish, cruel, and altogether wicked.

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I must criticize how the "good guys" are apparently blind to what's really happening (unless they're being very secretive about it, though this is never even hinted at

Unfortunately, that is the common flaw to virtually every Dark World scheme. The good guys are ALWAYS portrayed as not being clever enough to see what is blindingly obvious.

Had they even average intelligence, the Darklanders would never win.

Also, this makes the assumption that there is a dragon 'nation', which simply is not so. And if it was, Celestia would have made alliances with it long ago. The dragons would not then simply take the word of a pony clearly corrupted by some malevolent spirit who was betraying her own race and sought an empire of darkness.

Why would they, when they would actually have no need of her help in the first place?

The food shortages being 'manipulated' simply does not ring true. That cannot be accomplished externally. Food shortages are ALWAYS internal to a nation. And any outside manipulation is far too obvious to mask.

The story is written nicely, but the circumstances are far too heavily contrived to make sense.

Call in the expendables

Rarity won't know what hit her

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I wouldn't go that far... None of what I've said was to imply that the story is fundamentally flawed, or anything. I merely I lack any hints at why Nightmare Rarity has had it so easy so far. For all we know, the princesses' amnesty offer was made precisely because they are already aware of her plans, but because she is also Twilight Sparkle's friend, they are willing to give her one more chance. Perhaps, out of kindness toward her student (and because agitated diplomats are the worst kind), Twilight wasn't even told by Celestia just how far Rarity has gone at this point. They just gave her the papers and sent her in.

The problem with such theories, however, is that, cute as they may be, they are all based on speculation that has no direct basis in the story itself. In other words, I can make up all sorts of ideas to explain things, but at that point I'm just one step away from writing the story myself, and that's not what I'm supposed to be doing... :applejackunsure:

As for Nightmare Rarity being able to get away with all this, it's not that much of a stretch. I mean, we already had things like this happen:

i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/153/875/trollestia.jpg

Maybe Celestia and Luna are pulling an Equestria-wide prank by letting her do all that... :trollestia:

First time I've read this, and it's quite good, but I don't see how Rarity sees making a society of beautiful ocd partyfreaks is a 'masterpiece' and that's what anyone raised in Nocturne society is going to be.

Oh, wow, this old thing. Good to be able to place it into my favorites, after all this time.

Oh hey, I remember this story! I'd completely forgotten it even existed! Doesn't it predate Season 2? Ah, the nostalgia... :twilightsmile:

4631617 Could it be.... Celestia = Mr. Popo... :twilightoops:

Twilight: Princess! We need to rush over to the Griffon Empire and stop the dark lich from raising an undead army of zombie vampires!!

Celestia, calling from inside the castle kitchen: Makin' toast!

Twilight: B-but...

*Ding!* Butterin' toast!

:trollestia::trollestia::trollestia:

evil with good at the center.
the picture of yang. black with a spot of white. I did enjoy and wish there was more. I have to admit this is the most subtle workings of the Nightmare in any story I have seen to date. I want to know more of Nocturne and I must the plot thickens to a reasonable consistency.
wish to see more.

Eh. It's an interesting idea, I guess. I just can't get through it. The bass beat thing makes me ragequit my browser every time I read it. :applejackunsure:

I feel there needs to be more to this, what sorrow will come when Rarity decides to expand? What did Rarity do to make Dash more loyal to herself than the rest of their friends and former country? How did Fluttershy take Dash leaving her? Who is really in control, the Nightmare or Rarity; her eyes remained the same and that is usually very telling.

It's great, except that randomly including a nightclub for no reason other than FUCKING BASS BEATS!!11111111 makes me want to punch things. But you're still a breath of fresh air in an otherwise stale portajohn of autism.

Oh my... that took a dark turn...

I love this, though. Great atmosphere.

From what everypony on here is saying, I know this story is old, but still, I encourage you to expand upon this.

You've got a lot of potential for sequels here, from the minor characters you introduced, the Gothic-Cyber Punk world of Nocturne, the conflict with the Princesses to Queen Rarity herself.

Maybe it's time to breathe new life into the Nocturniverse.

At first I was like :ajsleepy: but then I was like :pinkiegasp: and then I was like :rainbowlaugh: and then I was like :pinkiehappy: but then I was like :rainbowderp: and then I was like :twilightoops: and then I finished the read like :derpytongue2:
All in all, a great reed for me. And before you say I had a typo, I just proved you wrong. :ajsmug: Still- no, DEFINITELY a better story than Twilight. (the vampire novel, not the pony :twilightsheepish:)

Oh gosh I remember reading this! So good! :raritystarry: I do love a good Rarity story, muahaha. Also it has alerted me to the egregious fact that I haven't actually properly followed you as an author yet despite loving IADB and BtWoE so much. So ha-ha! Faved and followed, as is proper. :raritywink:

um that end was anticlimactic.. i thought there would be more action, but i guess i was wrong...granted from what was there it was good read.

Rarity may have her own way of doing things here, but she is hardly a tyrant.


I have to agree with Rarity, she hasn't committed any crimes from what I can see.

it's not sustainable!”

It's not like she's a one pony show, she has admins and other ponies keeping the place running. And it's not like she's giving them all a 'something for nothing' deal, she's already said she gives these ponies JOBS, not hand outs.

All in all, Rarity isn't acting like she did in Inspiration Manifestation at all.

And it's not like she's FORCING ponies to come here. Unless she's been scheming and CAUSING the food crisis this whole time. But even if she's in love with her vision, she wouldn't lower herself to Suri's level and CHEAT.

“It's poisoned your mind!”

Poisoned HOW?! What has she done that's EVIL!?

never turn to dark magic for any reason.

Why does dark magic have to be INHERENTLY evil?

“Do you know how often I've watched our bumbling mayor lurch from one crisis to the next and thought- known I could do better?

She does the best she can living right next to the forest of death.

I never knew you were so power hungry!”

It's not power hungry if you're OFFERING power. And it's not megalomania if you know you can do BETTER with OTHERS help.

Running a country is harder than I thought!

No wonder she wants Twilight. She KNOWS she needs good admin.

And it's proof her ponies aren't mindless robots, otherwise her city would basically run itself.

Where did Twilight think Rarity got the dragon from?

Spike I can UNDERSTAND. Love conquers all.

But why Rainbow Dash? That one I don't get. If it was Fluttershy (for RD or Rarity) I'd get it, but RD and Rarity?

If they feel relations between Nocturne and Equestria are strained, I am happy take whatever steps are necessary to mend them.

She has a point. She's not exactly trying to conquer Equestria.

“That stain.”

Well, he WAS just attacked by an Alicorn.


Rarity sighed. She hated having to discipline anypony, but there was absolutely no excuse for sloppiness of appearance, especially in her own royal guard.

While her discipline method IS over the top, she has a point, considering they're the guards leading to her throne room, they're SUPPOSED to look posh.

I have to say the ending felt like a 180 turn.

Before we had a gray area of who was right and who was wrong. How much Rarity was letting herself go to her head, and how much she was improving the standard of living for ponies.

And with her amount of magic, increasing the size of the island is hardly impossible.

Seriously, I know it was foreshadowed with the food crisis, but this feels like a Debate and Switch http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DebateAndSwitch really kills the story for me.

The Evil All along twist here http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EvilAllAlong feel like it's something that's MANDATORY.

Rarity has shown nothing but patience here, you think she'd be perfectly willing, since she believed so much in her creation, to let nature run it's course rather than cheat.

I'm glad to see this one is finally on fimfiction.

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All in all, Rarity isn't acting like she did in Inspiration Manifestation at all.

Dude, this was written sometime in 2012. Maybe earlier. :raritywink:

Nice. You should write a sequel.

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Dude, what I'm saying is that Rarity isn't acting like a psycho until the big bait and switch at the end.

Is that big dark dragon, Spike?:pinkiegasp:

Sequel? Moar? Plz?

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well unless you think she really expects to fail eventually or you think she's going to magically find a way to increase space she had to.

I've never understood why people consider villains interesting characters, because in the end they're always about nothing more than that villains desires.

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And Rarity ISN'T shown to be a villain until the bait and switch at the end. Until then, everything is a gray area, making the reader THINK and QUESTION of who is in the right, and who is over reacting and who is just making the tough decisions. Then the debate and switch happens.

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personally I don't think it matters how reasonable she was acting because she simply could not be right. I mean in a magical fairyland sure, but you don't bring up the politics and minutiae in a magical fairyland.

Her paradise is going to fall apart. It'll run out of food, or it'll run out of space or she'll allow the wrong people to enter which would force conflict with other lands. From there she either does nothing and allows her new home to crumble around her ears hurting her followers and making her evil to them, or she starts acting against the outside to improve her lot making her evil to them.

Basically if she had any sense her making nice with Twilight could never have been legitimate. The best she could have been was deluded. Sort of like in your recent story.

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Actually, I feel that doesn't feel right at all.

And Rarity was never deluded in that RP.

Can we agree to disagree here?

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