• Published 10th Apr 2012
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Fallout: Equestria - Our Finest Hour - MintCakeWrites



Nopony wanted this war

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Chapter Six: Goodbye, Sweet Memories

Chapter 6 – Goodbye, Sweet Memories

“So yes I’ve gone to the hills again”

I stirred a little, the drugs that had kept me asleep finally wearing off. I rolled my right eye around under the closed lid, mentally preparing myself for the lack of sight in my left socket. I breathed in slowly, taking in deep soothing doses of air and exhaling calmly.

'I chose hell over my own memories... what a strange pony I am,' I smiled at the thought, 'But I’m alive.'

I opened my remaining eye, only to be flooded with colour as a burst of streamers covered my face. I pushed myself upwards and was greeted by an all too familiar pink pony.

'Oh goddesses spare me, I’ve only just woken up!'

Pressing her nose uncomfortably close to mine, she began to speak rapidly. Her eyes conveyed all manner of expression and her mouth moved into recognisable shapes, yet no sound came. I gave her a confused look, mouthing “I can't hear you!”

Pinkie pulled an odd face in response, and turned her attention to what I assumed was another pony stood to my left, outside of my field of vision. After a bout of rapid silent speech, a shadow fell across my face and I felt a sudden pressure around my left ear. This was followed by a loud pop and a startling squeak, which diminished to a dull wine. Not more than a second later I began to hear the hum of the hospital generators, just audible over an unfittingly jaunty marching tune.

The whine persisted for a moment as the pressure continued, before settling into the jumble of sound that continued to surround me, the low bass hum of the magic and fuel generator that powered the hospital contrasted by shrill trumpets and the musical tweet of passing birds. It seemed the whole world had collided around me in this room, happiness and pain, joy and sickness, all emotions that should never touch clashed together.

I let out a sigh and allowed my senses to drink up everything I had missed; the squeak of the bed, the sharpness of the light, the feeling of pillows under my head. I breathed a second satisfied sigh, my peace shattered by another burst of streamers and Pinkie's face pressed against mine.

“Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie and you look really silly opening only one eye! You should open both, but if you don't that's OK, because I have an eye patch somewhere nearby, but you really really should open both eyes else you won't know where you're going, silly!”

I struggled up onto my haunches and was greeted by three other mares. Two looked familiar, as if I should know their faces, yet the mint green pegasus I recognised in an instant. Starshine.

'Oh, this is just getting better and better!' I thought glumly as she rushed over and 'helped' me into a more comfortable position, fluffing my pillows and resting me against them properly. She gave me a smile and stood by my bed, looking over at the other two mares and a stallion still dressed in surgical attire.

The white mare stepped forward, clearing her throat and flicking her purple mane from over her eye, revealing her horn, “Good afternoon Mr Bolt, I’m Rarity of the Ministry of Image. As you may be aware, we've funded your treatment, as well as your new, er... parts shall we say?”

“I'm not sure what you're on about ma'am, but thank you anyway,” I gave a polite nod, only to be taken aback by an unfamiliar whirring sound. I turned my woozy head cautiously, glancing down at my left foreleg and gasped – I was expecting to see that crude stump from before, but instead I was greeted by an ornate steel hoof, expertly grafted onto my leg and shining brighter than a Manehead dawn.

The craftsmanship was so expert it appeared to be the exact same shape as my dear old hoof, and several buttons ran along the inside edge. My curiosity spiked and I tried to press one, only for an orange hoof to come down on the scar on my pastern, followed by a stern warning.

“Ah wouldn't touch that yet, sugarcube. Don't want you loosing your other eye. Cost us a mighty sum of bits to put you back together, and ah reckon you wouldn't want to be laying on your 'hind for much longer.”

I looked over quizzically at the country-accented mare, “Thank you for the advice ma'am, but I’m sure nothing too dangerous can be inside a hoof.”

My hubris was short-lived as I pressed the first button and heard a subtle click, followed by a searing heat in my other foreleg. Glancing down, I was alarmed to see a deathly-sharp knife protruding from my new hoof, flecked with blood where it had grazed my fetlock opposite. I took a sharp breath and watched as the gash closed over by itself, fuelled by intravenous healing potion.

Pressing the button again, the blade slid back inside. I examined my new part with interest, studying several other buttons on the hoof. I tested each one to no avail, and let out a sigh.

“Ah told you didn't I? Don't go messin' with things you don't know nuthin' about,” the mare said strictly, looking down at me as if I were just a colt. I nodded, lesson learnt, half expecting to be told to sit in my room and have a good think about what I did.

I allowed myself to lie back on the hospital bed. I began to think of everything I had survived in less than a year, and let out a humourless chuckle, 'I have killed and have almost been killed. I’ve watched hundreds of ponies go to their deaths... and yet I’m here to fight another day.'

“Doctor,” I called out to the stallion stood beside me, “Why am I still alive?”

The stallion shuffled from side to side awkwardly, replying “Are you unsatisfied with being alive, Mr Bolt? I could quite easily make your current situation very different, if you wish.”

I let out another mirthless laugh, any warmth in the surgeon's voice was just for show. He was the stallion who had questioned whether I was worth saving, “No, I’m glad I’m still kicking about, thanks for the offer. But why am I alive? Why am I in this hospital bed rather than face down in the mud?”

“Because you're useful Mr. Bolt. Very useful,” Rarity stepped forward, Pinkie and the orange mare stood next to her, “Why don't you try opening your eye?”

I blinked, “Not meaning to show disrespect, but it's already open ma'am.”

Rarity turned her head towards her country companion, keeping her eyes on me, “Applejack, could you be a dear and activate that eye thingamajiggy for him?”

The pony in question stepped forward, taking a small key-like object from a saddlebag on the ground. She trotted to my left side and set to work on my temple, Starshine stroking my fore leg comfortingly as my head rocked from Applejack's actions.

After a minute of tinkering, a loud click sounded followed by a muffled, “There we go.”

A second passed. Then came the pain. It felt as if the bullet was being dragged out of my skull. I brought my hooves down hard as I thrashed on the bed, crying out as the agony intensified. My right eye flickered to and from every sight in the room, trying to find a distraction from the pain as Starshine and the surgeon both held me down, the pegasus promising that it'll be OK.

“Relax Rivet, the nerves are reconnecting to artificial ones. Your brain's trying to reject the new links, but you need to push through this!” Starshine spoke softly, her words soothing the pain for a fleeting moment before the agony started again.

I cried out and looked over at the three mares stood at the foot of my bed. None of them could look me in the eye. Pinkie was shaking, her bright eyes forming tears. She gave out a whimper as I looked at her, whispering, “Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop.”

Rarity averted her gaze, her white coat seemed even paler than usual. She tried to stay dignified, as if my pain disinterested her and was a minor concern. Applejack, however, kept her eyes on me with a pained look on her face at my agony. She seemed the least afflicted by my ordeal, but stood respectfully as if it were her duty to watch.

I let out another cry as the pain spiked again, my new hoof denting the metal frame of the bed. The surgeon forced me down, using his magic to float out a small syringe. I hardly felt it puncture the skin and release the drug into my bloodstream, but the effects were almost immediate. I felt my body grow numb, my head throbbing.

“You're fine, Mr. Bolt, the process will take longer when you're under the influence of morphine but it won't be as arduous. A dull pain will persist however, but you should be able to open your replacement eye now,” the stallion tapped his hoof on my left socket, a slight plink sounding.

I gasped as the left half of my head twinged with pain. Raising a shaking hoof I touched my left eye and heard the sound of hoof striking metal. I took a calming breath and began to trace the area.

“Can, can I get a mirror doctor?” I needed to see what they had done to me. I wanted to know what in the name of Luna I was now. The surgeon nodded and looked over to Starshine, who stood next to me like a doting mother with a new born foal. She moved closer and helped me roll over to reach the floor.

She placed her hooves around me to guide me down. I shrugged her off my body as my hooves touched the ground, defiant and perhaps colder than I intended. I took a shaky step with my right fore hoof, finding my balance. Smiling to myself, I tried with my left. The metal replacement slid on the floor, bringing me to the ground with a crash.

“Try not to end up back in the bed for other reasons,” Starshine teased, helping me back on my hooves and giving me a quick wink, “Unless those reasons involve me.”

I let out a sigh, 'This really isn't the time or place for flirting.'

Giggling sounded from the Ministry Mares; Pinkie's smile returned and Applejack and Rarity both turned their heads away, smiling to themselves and blushing slightly. I groaned and forced myself back on my hooves, leaning on an eager Starshine for balance. She nuzzled against me, Guiding me to a large mirror. I stood before the polished glass and studied my form.

A charcoal pony clad in a pale green gown looked back, his mane shaved down completely revealing an ugly scar running from his left eye along his skull, evidence of unicorn medical magic. His chest bore numerous welts from shrapnel, each threatening a permanent mark but diminishing as the drip-fed healing potion worked away at the skin. One hoof was bright steel, polished to a menacing shine, a stark contrast to the rest of his dull, grey body.

His single fawn eye focused on mine, full of self pity and a look that spoke of a defeated soul. Its focus moved, examining a new addition to his temple; wires ran from beneath the closed lids of his left eye into a device, three dials decorating the side.

I felt movement within the socket, and braced myself when I opened the lids. A piercing green light struck the mirror, my previously empty socket the source. I tried to move my eyelids again, only for a row of metal teeth to block the light in their stead. I tried to open the eye again, the teeth shrinking away and I raised a hoof in disbelief. Placing it over the light, the beam shut off, 'My eye...'

When I took it off, my vision had become blurry. I blinked a few times and it became clear, clearer than ever before. I raised my other hoof and covered my right eye. The stallion in the mirror did the same, and gasped as he saw me looking back at him.

“I... um...” I tried to speak, but found no words. Just meaningless words trying to form the whirlwind of emotions I needed to convey. I shook my head, trying to clear it.

“Is it alright then?” Applejack stepped forward, standing next to me, “It was made specially for ya, and for a darn good reason.”

“A reason?” I turned around, facing Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Rarity, each having recovered from the shock of my agony, “Wait, what do you mean it was made for me? I thought cyber eyes were available to most ponies?”

“Your eye is different Mr. Bolt, it was made to record everything you see, hear, taste, touch and smell. We commissioned it so that you can show the whole of Equestria what our brave stallions and mares are up against,” Rarity trotted towards me, “Have you ever experienced memory extraction?”

I shook my head, I had never heard of it but it was pretty obvious what it entailed.

“It can be a fairly painful experience. So, rather than extract your entire memory and leave you missing pieces of your past, we asked that the eye will feature a way to record everything outside of your memories, making it more like a recollector.”

“And who is we, ma'am?”

“Why, my Ministry of course, the Ministry of Image. We control what is said and what isn't, what the public see and what is hidden from view. In short Mr Bolt, I control Equestria in almost every way,” Rarity smiled, looking less like the business mare her attire suggested and more like a filly pretending to be a princess.

“I'm not sure how images of my friends dying will aid the war effort ma'am, but I suppose I have no choice in the matter. I just hope you know what you're doing,” I gave the mare a smile, feeling sick at the thought of my more intimate moments being available for other ponies to look at.

'Guess I’d better get rid of that photo,' I thought glumly to myself, 'Can't have the whole of Equestria knowing of my little crush.'

“And I’ve got something for you to do too!” Pinkie stepped forward this time, smiling gleefully, “Everypony needs something to make them smile, so I’ll be using the things from your eye to make everypony happy but to do that, you need to have lots and lots of fun! Oh! And Twilight said that if it all works out, she can make Spritebots that'll do your job too!”

I sighed and nodded, expecting a third request, “I take it you want me alive too Miss Applejack?”

“Indeedy, ah need to test some new fangled technology that ma and Twilight's Ministry created. Ma sister and her friends are planning on putting it in their new Pip-buck but we need somepony to test it first,” she replied cheerfully, taking something else out of the saddlebag.

She passed me a small, flat metal square, a smaller green gem in the centre. I studied it with my hoof, before looking up at her, “What is it exactly?”

“Place it in the slot in your temple, and it should work just fine.”

After a few moments of fumbling, I managed to slide the square into a small space on my temple. A sharp pain came and went suddenly, and my eye unfocused before becoming clear. Testing my vision, I found nothing had changed to my disappointment. I glanced nervously to Applejack, who let out a quiet laugh.

“Now say 'Sparkle On'.”

I sent the mare a glare, blushing a little, “Really ma'am?”

The mare laughed again and nodded, her hat shifting slightly from the action. I looked at the stallion in the mirror and found his face displayed the perfect emotion for the occasion, 'If Gadget hears this, he'll never live it down.'

I swallowed my pride, and spoke aloud, “Sparkle On.”

My left eye spun suddenly, before resting. I felt my stomach churn in response, bringing a hoof up as I swallowed bile, 'Suck it up, this might be worth it.'

In the corner of my vision I could see a collection of marks, each of them yellow. Turning towards them, I found each of the ponies had a single mark beneath them. I closed my left eye, and the marks disappeared, 'Guess it only affects this eye.'

“That there's a new addition to the PipBucks, called an Eye-Forwards Sparkle. Yellow is a friendly, red is hostile. Your usin' the prototype so be careful, it may get a bit screwy with you,” Applejack explained, “To turn it off, just say Sparkle Off. Easy as pie.”

I repeated the phrase, and felt my eye spin again. My stomach span with it, bringing a second wave of nausea. Starshine helped me back to the bed, fussing over me like my mother did when I was a colt. I smiled at the sentiment, and hiding my annoyance at the mare's continuous passive flirting. The thought of my mother lingered, and a basic urge to be with her came over me.

'She must be so worried... but I doubt mother's even heard the news. What would I tell her though? “Hi mum, I’m doing well. Just in hospital after loosing a hoof, an eye and most of my brain.”' My smile grew a bit, the thought of her shocked face threatening to turn my mouth into a grin. I the smile grew anyway at another realisation, 'I’m alive and I can live my life as I did before. Guess somepony up there loves me.'

My glance fell on Starshine's smiling face, 'Somepony other than her.'

I turned to surgeon, asking a question that had plagued me since I first woke up in the hospital, “Hey doc, how did I survive? My head's too much of a mush to figure it out myself right now.”

The surgeon cleared his throat, standing straight and giving us time to prepare ourselves for his high horse speech, “The bullet was redirected after striking the bone in your leg. You lost your hoof, your eye, your left eardrum was ruptured and unrepairable without a mechanical replacement, and your skull was structurally weakened. It was tough work, but we managed to replace your eardrums with artificial ones, re-strengthen your skull by adding several steel plates as well as attach a new hoof and eye. You should be dead by all accounts Mr Bolt, but I guess demon ponies run in the family.”

I looked up at his last sentence, “What do you mean by that?”

“The story of Wrench Bolt and his last stand. We use it as a case study for the effects of adrenaline as well as the basis for a new combat chem we're experimenting with. He took over twenty different fatal wounds, lost enough blood for two ponies to pass out and was still able to swing a knife at a group of zebra,” the surgeon gave an odd smile, he seemed pleased that he was given the chance to study both father and son, “I've said before, you're an odd pony Mr. Bolt.”

I smiled a little, “I'm all too aware of that doc. And what do you mean, a new combat chem?”

“Ah, I afraid information on that cannot be disclosed at present. Speedy recovery, Mr. Bolt. Farewell gentlemares, my other patients need to be attended to.”

The surgeon turned and waved a hoof goodbye to us, moving towards the door. I sat up and called out to him, “Hey! I never caught your name, I need to say thanks to pony that saved my life!”

“Don't worry about the name, you'll forget it anyway and I doubt we'll ever meet again. These mares are the ones who saved you, I was going to put you out of your misery if it was up to me.”

With that, he left the room. A dense silence followed, the humming of the generators becoming part of the omnipotent noise of nothingness despite the record player's best efforts to inject life into the room. Starshine began to busy herself, attempting to tend to my every need as I pushed her away.

After a few minutes, the Ministry Mares stood up and nodded towards me.

“Well, we'd better leave. Duty calls! Farewell Mr. Bolt, an associate will be in touch to collect those memories,” Rarity bowed her head slightly and left the room, Pinkie bouncing behind her after handing me a slice of cake and waving like a mad pony. Applejack hesitated, walking up to me.

“Ah know it ain't ma place, but your brother was a good pony. Ah know you two didn't see eye to eye, but he meant well. He left this note for ya,” the mare picked up the saddlebag and passed me a small slip of paper.

“You knew my brother? How? Why?” I inquired, Starshine taking the note and placing it to one side.

“He was experimenting with a new weapon, actually got the darn thing working before some zebra threw him in front of the demonstration shot. Oh, and ah want to give you this too.”

She passed me a small card with the symbol of her Ministry emblazoned on one side, her name and the Ministry's address on the other, “You're already giving your life for the safety of Equestria, and now ya risking it to keep it happy too. If there's anything ah can do to repay ya for ya actions, just see me and ah'll do all ah can.”

She tipped her hat, placing it back after my salute, “Thank you ma'am, for everything. I won't let you or the others down, I promise.”

“Pinkie promise?” came a high pitched reply from the corridor, Pinkie's head poking around the door, “Do as I do; Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”

Starshine's awkward glance caught mine and we both grinned as I imitated the insane pony. She gave us a huge smile and a satisfied nod before leaving again, the sound of her hooves almost like springs as she bounced away. Applejack gave a sigh and followed her friend, nodding to us one last time before the doors swung shut.


After a few days of rehabilitation with my new hoof, I was discharged and set free on the streets of Canterlot. The doctors informed me that the eye was a natural process, I’d have to learn how to use it slowly outside of the hospital as it reconnected with all the visual nerves in my brain. I’m able to see through it and use it as an eye, but the visual memories won't be available for collection for a week at the soonest.

The only orders I had received were to report to a local Army office after a week of rest or when I felt fit for duty. I felt physically ready to take up arms and fight again, but my mental state was far from the clean crispness it once was. My mind was still a mess from the events that had led to my placement in hospital. Xander's and my brother's death, my first kill, Starshine's confession, all things that I couldn't deal with on the battlefield.

'I need to reach that calm again, but it'll take time,' I thought, thinking back to the recent battle, 'If only I could remember how I reached it.'

My memories were damaged from the bullet, the most recent having been lost. The cyber implant nurse explained that as my body adapted to the eye I’d regain more memories of the battle, eventually being able to extract them from the panel on my temple. Unfortunately, no pony had told me how to do that just yet.

I had never been to Canterlot, but had heard of the grand city and had seen it in the distance during my visits to Ponyville. My parents told me of the grand celebrations held during the times of peace, like how the whole of Equestria held a month long party for the wedding of one of the Princesses' relatives and the captain of the guard. I smiled at the thought of the streets being paved with streamers and balloons, with hundreds of ponies to greet the happy couple as they greeted their subjects.

But such merriment could not be found here. The ponies that walked these streets looked dead, their eyes sunken into their heads and they carried themselves as if they were going to their own funeral. The only ponies with any sort of life to their bodies were those in forces, yet they walked with a sense of self importance. Again I noticed the lack of earth ponies here, spotting a single mare after two hours of aimless wandering along the streets. I began to wonder if we were as unwanted as the zebra in Canterlot.

Much to my disdain, Starshine insisted on staying with me during my recuperation period. I appreciated the mare's actions, and never thought of her as an annoyance, but it was choking to have her nearby all the time. Her confession on my first mission shook my very core, stirring my emotions like a zebra's cauldron, adding what she wanted to concoction. I felt used, duty bound to the mare.

One thing she was useful for was showing me the sights and tastes of Canterlot. We journeyed to countless cafés, museums and galleries until I could drink no more from the fountain of culture the city had to offer, yet the weight of the war pressed down on these ponies harder than anywhere I had seen.

“Canterlot's kept afloat by the elite. But with them leaving to safer places, the money's running dry. Same thing happened in Cloudsdayle. Ponies just up and left,” Starshine explained over a very expensive coffee.

We were sat outside a small café near the Palace, the street buzzing with the strange unlife the ponies here led as well as Spritebots booming marching music, “This war won't kill the ponies of Equestria, it'll kill Equestria itself. Our economy can't sustain this for much longer.”

“There anything we can do?” I could understand many things, the finer points of politics and money not being one of them. While ponies' motivations and actions, and the precision of machinary was clear cut and obvious to a trained eye, politicians and those more interested in the cold metal of a bit were complex creatures to me. They fascinated, repulsed and confused me all at the same time.

“Expand. The longer we fight, the more we'll fund weapons. The more money into weapons, the less into other areas. You following?” Starshine asked teasingly, my face seemingly blank. I blushed and nodded, hoping not to come across as an idiot, a bullet to the brain leaves you a little slow at times. The pegasus giggled and continued, “In short, we're going to have to conquer other countries to sustain our economy.”

I sighed and drank my bitter black drink, pulling a wry face, “Great, it's cold. Well, I guess I’ll never be out of a job after we beat the zebras.”

I didn't want to be a soldier until the day I died, though the irony wasn't lost on me. I had always hoped to start my family's workshop up again, repairing chariots for the heroes of the war. I wasn't cut out for the high life, 'Too many odd drinks and too few poorly made chariots.'

“That's if we beat them,” Starshine commented, before looking around her, beckoning me in closer. She looked behind her, and waited for one the Spritebots to fly by before whispering, “I've heard there's something else the Ministry Mares want to use the army for.”

I checked my surroundings, before replying with a similar whisper, “What do you mean?”

“There's another hostile race to the east. They've only appeared once to us, but they nearly conquered Canterlot in just an afternoon.”

I blinked in surprise, “An afternoon? You're joking!” - Starshine shook her head - “Goddesses above, where were the Princesses and the guard?”

“All defeated in the battle. The Captain managed to drive them off with Princess Cadence back then, but Luna thinks they're planning another attack,” Starshine's face seemed to grow pale at the thought of another foreign force.

“So, what are they? What do they look like?”

“I don't know, but I’ve heard rumours that they take the appearance of dead ponies to feed off the love of their spouses,” Starshine's pallor grew, and her eyes looked panicked, “If such rumours are true, we could be surrounded by the enemy right now!”

I snorted and laughed, “Ok, you actually had me for a moment there. Come on Starshine, creatures that feed off love? And to that point, where is the love here?”

I gestured to the undead ponies that drifted from shop to shop, each one drained of all life. A mare pushed a pram with her foal inside, the tiny pony sleeping peacefully despite the quiet chaos that throbbed through the city. The tender innocent obliviousness of the foal seemed to serve no purpose than a counter point to the mare's tense look. It felt that Canterlot was a ticking bomb, all these ponies looked spitefully at one another as they carried out their daily business on what little money they could scrounge.

Starshine sighed, “I guess we'll just have to hope this is just speculation. Rivet, you can't tell anypony this OK?”

“Why not? The public have a right to know.”

Starshine rolled her eyes, “I know you've lost some of your brain but come on! This is obvious! Think of panic it would cause, the thought of us being threatened by two different forces.”

I threw my gaze at the ground, feeling less intelligent than ever before, 'Rivet you idiot!' my younger self yelled at me. It took me longer to work things out since my dance with death and I became confused at things more often, often to my embarrassment. It was a concern, though the doctors thought little of it.

“You took a bullet the head and you're surprised that you're less intelligent? You're still fit for duty Private, you just need some time to think everything through.”

We left the café, walking down the bustling street. The scents and smells of the stalls coating my senses, teasing my nearly empty stomach. Starshine recommended each and every one of the shops we passed, acting more like a tour guide than my personal medic.

She knew of the city because of her father's business, an Equestria wide delivery service that had ran in family since her grandfather's time. She was a carrier pony for numerous packages in her youth, travelling from town to town. As such, we often met ponies she had worked with or for, usually leading to a free sample of their wares and a lengthy catch up. It seemed sad that her smile was somewhat forced at such meetings, it could be the very last time she saw those ponies and it must have been painful for her.

“Is this really necessary? It's only going to hurt them more when you die,” I commented after a cheerful goodbye.

If I die. You're too bitter for your own good,” Starshine chimed, “But that's just you Rivet.”

She came close for a hug, disappointed when I shied away, “I'm not bitter, I’m a realist. How is being bitter a good thing anyway?”

“Well... it makes you you,” Starshine stood before me, standing in my way in the middle of the street, “And you know my feelings about you.”

I glanced at the mare, trying to avoid her staring eyes, “And where did those feelings come from? You don't fall in love with someone after they save you once.”

A hoof pressed against my torso, and the pegasus forced me into looking at her eyes, “What do you know about love, Rivet? Have you ever loved anypony before?”

“W-well, I....” my thoughts raced to my Fluttershy, my younger self stood adoringly next to her dressed in a tuxedo. I was sure that such a long lasting adoration and mixture of emotions was sure to be love, 'After all, it was love at first sight wasn't it?'

“Don't you believe in love at first sight?” Her words came as I thought them, resulting in a strange mix of silky harmony and rough pretence. The question had me stumped, her idea of love was vastly different from my own. It was raw, passionate, physical, yet wrapped in emotion and tenderness, while mine had begun as harmless admiration to lewd complexity. I motioned for us to move onwards, trying to ignore Starshine's questioning glance until it had faded.

We continued down the street, before the pegasus' face lit up, “Oh! I just remembered this brilliant doughnut shop nearby! You're going to love it!”

She grabbed me by my steel hoof, dragging me through the city to find this glorious confectionery store. We eventually reached a small parlour, a large sign proudly pronouncing the title “Joe's”. She ran in without delay, giggling away as she pushed the doors open. I stood up and straightened my beret, checking the eye patch on my cyber-eye.

It wasn't that I felt ashamed or embarrassed at the new part, I was overjoyed at how useful it was. But I did realise that it would make me an easy target for zebra and any spies; a green glowing eye with metal teeth for lids is a bit hard to forget. Starshine joked that it made me look jaunty, almost like a pirate, but also seemed upset that I was hiding what I was.

'Maybe one day I’ll be able to walk these streets, glowing eye and all,' I pondered, entering the doughnut shop. A gruff stallion stood behind the counter, engaged in conversation with Starshine. I joined them, uninterested in their conversation. One perk to loosing your eardrum and having mechanical ones in place is that you could turn it down or off at will, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

Resting my right hoof over my ear, I sat in silence as the conversation grew in laughter and hoof bumps. Every sentence was another memory of a happier life, every laugh an attempt to pull it back. I soon found myself smiling at the memories of the smell of machine oil when working on a chariot, the heat my tools generated as I put the finishing touches on a master piece of earth pony engineering, the smile of my mother. I brushed a tear from my right eye, turning towards Starshine and bringing my hearing back up.

The pegasus was pulling a strange expression, looking outside at a group of ponies dressed in the army's uniform. The group laughed and called out to passing mares, making a general ass of themselves in the streets. Starshine sighed and looked over to me.

“Colts will be colts, right?”

I nodded, and looked over at her, “They're just being a rabble, they won't hurt anypony. I’ll step out if they do.”

Joe nodded in gratitude, “Thanks. They've caused a lot of problems now they're off duty. I get that they're bored and all, but getting drunk off your hooves each night and picking fights with other companies isn't the way to go about it.”

I gave out a sigh as another mare was harassed by the group, some of them rearing on their hind legs and performing obscene gestures. Starshine touched my leg, and I glanced over at her. It seemed strange that a pony that would happily jump into a battle, kill helpless prisoners without batting an eyelid and thought it appropriate to flirt with me in the middle of a fire fight, felt threatened by a group of drunken stallions.

“Alright, alright. I’ll go sort them out for you. They just need to be reminded who they are,” I stepped forward and pushed the doors open, striding confidently towards the group. Two of the bucks tapped the others, and pointed at me. The group of five ponies stood and stared as I approached them.

I gave them a nod and put on the air Hartpony wore, “Afternoon bucks, I was wondering if you could move on elsewhere? You're causing a bit of a problem for the civies and it isn't fair on them.”

“The fuck are you? Who the fuck do you think yer talking to mate?” the largest of the group spoke, squaring up to me. I let out a slight laugh at his bravado, he was green as the grass. He pushed up against me, staring straight into my eyes, “Something funny?”

“Yes there is. Now back down private before I call in the MPs, that's an order.”

“From who?”

“Private Second Class Bolt, now stop questioning me and get back in line,” My new rank rolled off my tongue gleefully. The promotion came from recommendation by Thunder and Slate, after my actions during the reconnaissance mission and the recent battle. A sudden thought came to me at the last one.

'Ah shit, forgot to attend the debrief on the battle... guess I’m in for a lecture when I sign back in.'

Three of the group stood to immediate attention, the aggressor eventually doing so as well. Only a unicorn remained, standing separate from the group. I approached him, putting on Hartpony's face as I stared him down.

“There a reason why you're not following orders Private?”

The unicorn looked up at me and blinked, his eyes nothing more blank voids. I felt a chill down my spine, 'What in the name of Luna is this pony?'

“He's not all together sir. He was shot at on patrol a few weeks ago and he's still suffering from the stress,” one of the more obedient troops replied, letting out an omph as the largest kicked him.

I nodded and stepped back, letting them leave. The unicorn walked oddly, as if he was putting a limp on. Every other step was a strange dip as he trailed behind the others, who all but the largest seemed to be frightened of him. I studied them closely as Starshine joined me, before loosing sight of the group in the crowd.

“Fly overhead, I want to follow those ponies. That one behind doesn't seem quite right to me. I can't put my hoof on why though,” I began to walk after them, Starshine letting out a sigh but floating above the buildings.

“You owe me dinner for this!” she called out as she sat herself on a cloud, searching the crowd.

'You'd be lucky,' I removed the eye patch, placing it in the pocket of my jacket and followed the path the bucks had taken. The metal teeth slunk back as I opened my real eyelid. The fleshy part was useless now, but the doctors felt it should be kept so I felt a bit more like a whole pony rather than an unworldly mash of machine and muscle.

“Let's see if you are any use then, Sparkle On,” my vision spun and a street of ponies became a sea of yellow. Resisting the urge to hurl, I began to track the group. Several civilians let out gasps and whispers to their companions as I walked by, my green eye attracting attention as I trailed after the group. I focused on the limping buck, his gait attracting a crowd. My EFS warped beneath him, holding the yellow colour yet flickering every few steps, the same happening to the largest stallion.

'Bloody thing,' I gave my eye a tap, trying to shake free any dirt, 'Don't crap up on your first mission.'

After a few seconds of amateur messing with the implement, my vision flickered and the limping unicorn's colour settled. A bright red, a dangerous contrast to the mellow yellow of the other ponies. I swore under my breath and galloped forwards, glancing up at a confused Starshine.

I ran in front of the group, and stood in their path. The largest pony rolled his eyes, “What's wrong now... sir?”

I ignored that the title was an afterthought, and responded, “I need to have a chat with your friend there.”

“He can't speak sir, lost his mind,” the larger buck retorted, the other three glancing at each other nervously.

“I don't care, he needs to come with me,” I stood my ground, the colouration of the buck flickering red, “And you need to back off and calm down.”

“Or what?”

I glanced at the three companions, their confusion and fear clear, “You can leave gentlecolts, my problem is with this buck here. If you pass any MPs, please send them this way.”

The three ponies nodded, saluted and ran past me towards Canterlot's Barracks. I looked over at the gathering crowd, many whispering at the sight of my cyber eye. I snorted and stood my ground, “Stand down Private, your friend needs to come with me to the barracks.”

“He can't talk dumbass!” the stallion roared in reply, puffing his chest and stamping at the ground.

We began to circle each other, the crowd opening a hole for our potential fight, “This is your last warning soldier, you back down this moment else I will use force against you.”

“SHUT UP!”

Stallion sped at me, throwing his weight into a tackle, I sprang to one side as the crowd fled, crying out in terror and nearly trampling the limping unicorn. The stallion turned around and charged at me a second time, clipping my flank and sending me sprawling. I sprang back to my hooves, rolling away from another charge and tripping the stallion up.

The beast's hooves caught my midriff and sent me into the air, hitting the ground with a crunch. I coughed to check for damage, and forced myself back onto four legs, wiping a trickle of blood from a cut on my face. The stallion charged at me another time as I stood my ground, dipping down, spinning and bringing a hind hoof to his jaw. Another hind hoof to his neck and the stallion grabbed my limb in his teeth, throwing me to one side.

A crash of wood and fruit came as I struck a vendor's wares. I lay uncomfortably on the broken stall, spotting a nearby Spritebot, obliviously playing cheerful marching music as the street descended into chaos. I called out to it weakly and the bot floated towards me, the sound cutting out as I put myself back on my hooves.

“Private Bolt?” it asked in a hiss of static, “Is something wrong? Why is the street des-”

The angry stallion crushed the bot with a single hoof and gave a strange hissing noise. The unicorn responded in kind, limping over to him. I studied both carefully, bringing my steel hoof back in preparation for an attack. The stare down continued for a minute, the tension escalating as the two ponies hissed at me, before the crack of a gunshot pierced the silence.

The large pony let out a howl of pain and dropped to the ground, clutching his leg in agony. The other turned and ran away, only to run into a group of heavily armed police ponies. He buckled and turned, running towards me. I crouched low and released the blade in my hoof, wishing I had my father's knife in my mouth and tensed myself. The unicorn stopped before he reached me, a look of terror on his face.

“Stay right where you are. We know what you are and I will shoot if you don't surrender,” a familiar voice called out. A cloud-white pony stepped out in front of me, a large minigun attached to his battle-saddle. The unicorn hesitated, before making a mad dash to the larger pony.

The gun began to whir as the barrel sped up, “Last warning! I will open fire!”

The unicorn stared at him, and shivered. Two insect like wings burst from his back and became a blur as he hefted the larger stallion into the sky, weaving as The Mower burst into life. Bullet casings fell around me, yet no shot struck the creature that sped away.

“Fuck, this won't be good,” Snowfall muttered, his weapon slowing as the pair were chased by pegasi. He turned and pulled me onto my hooves, “Shame we had to meet again under these circumstances Rivet, but it's good to see you.”

“Likewise Snow,” I retracted my hoof-blade, wondering where Starshine had disappeared to, “What happened to you?”

“Drafted into a special operations unit, I work for the Ministry of Morale now,” Snowfall beamed, “Have my own squad too, though they're probably after more of those bastards right now. Like the look by the way. A steel hoof and glowing green eye suits you.”

“Hm? Yeah, thanks. Getting shot in the face is all the rage these days. What the hell was that thing anyway?”

Snowfall shook his head, “Can't tell you. National security.”

I fixed a glare at him.

“I'm sorry Rivet, I really can't tell you,” Snowfall seemed almost upset at his lack of power, “If it's any constellation, nopony else is going to know about this.”

I sighed and nodded, letting my friend go. He ran over to the group of police ponies and began giving orders. I reached to my ear to turn the volume up but went against it, turning from my friend and walking towards a confused Starshine.

'I’ll find out soon enough,' I assured myself, 'Not everypony can keep their mouth shut.'

“What was that about?” She asked, pressing close. I pushed her away, placing my eye patch back on and walking briskly, “Rivet...”

“National security... I think your foreign invaders exist Starshine.”

The pegasus stopped in her tracks, “What?! You're pulling my hoof aren't you? Aren't you?”

I shook my head, “I don't think so and, more importantly, I think I just pissed them off.”


Clouds blanketed the sky, coating the gathering in shadow. I stood dressed in a black jacket, my rank stitched into the collar, watching as an elderly mare took to a podium. She cleared her throat, and tapped a microphone as we took our seats. I helped Sunset take her place next to me, passing her a handkerchief as a tear rolled down her cheek.

“Friends, family, we are here today to bid our final farewells to Private Xander who fell valiantly in battle for Equestria. He stood tall in face of danger, fought back against the forces of the zebra and is an inspiration for us all of what loyalty truly is. We will commend his body to the earth and pray that he rest in peace, but first I ask that his friends take to the stand, and speak on his behalf.”

I stood up and trotted to the podium, leaving a quietly sobbing Sunset. Taking my place behind the podium, I looked briefly at the coffin my friend was held in before surveying the crowd. The funeral party was mainly formed of his unit, several other high ranked officers as well as Sunset and Snowfall. All but Sunset wore a solemn and reserved look, too desensitised to cry at a funeral, too patriotic to not attend. I blinked back tears, and began to speak.

“I first met Xander on the chariot to Torntail. I guess it's safe to say that we were friends from that moment onwards, something just... clicked. I remember we were inseparable during basic training, we worked best as a team... that's where he shined brightest.”

A long shuddering breath, and I continued, “He was always the pony to push the others along, keeping us in check. If something went wrong, he'd put it right. If somepony was struggling, he'd go out of his way to make sure they kept up. If something was in his way, he'd always come to us and trust us with his deepest fears and problems. He was the perfect soldier and friend, never giving up on my short comings and being there for all of us. I can't put into words how much I miss him, nor can I compare to how others will. I just hope, for his sake, we can finish this fight and let his soul rest in true peace.”

I turned to the coffin next to me and walked towards the final resting place of my friend, “Farewell Xander, you rest up and wait for me, OK?”

A single tear struck the wood and I turned away, trotting past the gathering as one of his unit took the stand and began to recount their tale. I found a tree and rested against it, a tears rolling down my face.

“I'm sorry Xander... I’m sorry I fucked up... Luna damn everything, you shouldn't have died!”

I wept, throwing my hooves over my face to hide myself from the world, pretending it wasn't there. The war had never touched me so powerfully before, it had consumed everything I had. I had lost my family, my friends, my very existence. All I was was another pony dedicated to the purpose of killing another race of some pretty stones and lumps of coal under the pretence of defence. For the first time, I felt useless and abused, a complete shell of the pony I should be.

I lost track of time in my private laments, as when I looked up the coffin had been lowered into the grave and a stern group of ponies were burying my friend. I sat and watched as the mound grew, bowing my head respectfully as the group stood up and walked away. A single orange mare garbed in a black dress and veil remained, sat before the tombstone.

I trotted over to her, placing a hoof over her shoulders, “He's gone to a better place now Sunset, away from this war, away from this world.”

The mare nodded, suddenly turning and crying into my neck, “It's not fair Rivet, I wanted to be with him when he died... I wanted us to grow old together... what is the point in this war anyway? All it does is take and take and soon we'll have nothing left. He was my sanity, Rivet, the only way I could pretend to be a proper pony instead of this... this evil thing I am now.”

“I wish I could've done something Sunset, I wish I could've saved him like he saved me...”

The soft sound of hooves on grass distracted me, and two hooded figures appeared behind me. The smaller of the two leaned in close to the other, and stared at me with hidden eyes. I turned around and bowed to them.

“I'm sorry for your loss. He was a fine zebra, one of the greatest ponies and the best of friends. I know it doesn't mean much, but I hope you know he died rescuing me and I’m eternally grateful for it. I can't repay him for what he did, but if there's anything I can do for you I will.”

The larger nodded, and removed her hood. The zebra shook her mane and walked to the grave, sitting at the edge of the grass-less mound. The younger zebra also removed her hood, and looked up at me.

“You knew my brother?”

I nodded, “Yes, I trained and fought with him.”

“Then you must be Rivet. He talked about you a lot in his letters,” Xander's sister looked up into my eye, drowning me in her watery irises, “He said you were the son of hero, and was fighting for peace between our races.”

She stepped up to me, looking me dead in eye as if she were seeking out my very essence, “Promise me that you'll survive and fight for him. All he wanted was peace as well, even if it's a bloodstained peace. Please, I beg of you. If not to place my worries at ease, then do it for the blood in your veins, pony. Your life belongs to him.”

The young zebra bowed before me, her face touching the ground as she did so. It was a powerful gesture, the mare who was barely out of foalhood asking me to fight for her brother and willing to bow to me to do so. I helped her back up, moving down so we were eye to eye.

“I promise. I will fight for Xander's peace as I fight for my own. You're right little one, this war will bring total destruction of both of us or a bloodied peace. I can only pray it's the latter.”

Sunset let out a sudden wail and collapsed into the hooves of Xander's mother. The two mares' eyes were streaming with tears as they sobbed, I approached them and attempted to comfort them both only to have a hoof pressed against my chest by his sister. She shook her head, and pointed to Sunset.

“She can't fight any more, the will to has left her body.”

I glanced over to the young zebra, “What do you mean? If anything, Sunset wants to get back on the battlefield and avenge him. Xander was the love of her life, and she holds enough animosity to zebras to want to kill them all.”

The zebra filly shook her head, “She cannot muster the anger, and soon she won't have the strength to stand.”

“What?” I shook my head, praying she hadn't fallen prey to some strange disease as the panic rose in my voice, “What's happened to her? Is she going to be OK?”

“Zebra are prey in our native land. It's a struggle to survive every day. When we are conceived stress induced hormones can slow a pregnancy for a short time, giving our parents the chance to find somewhere safe to give birth. The foal's reaching its limit, she probably never knew she was carrying one until now. Even then, if she gives birth without zebra potions, she will loose the foal.”

I swallowed hard, 'She's with foal? Oh Celestia, how long for?! When did they conceive?!'

I began to shake, the thought of all the moments they could've died in recent weeks came flooding in. Images of my friend dead with her child unborn covered my mind, sending me into a horrific mix of trepidation and anger. I felt enraged at the zebra for stealing the foal's father from it, further angered at my futility to save him.

'It isn't right! It's. Not. Fair!' my inner pony cried, quivering with rage.

I pounded the ground hard, fighting back the urge to dirty the air with obscenities as wave upon wave of anger washed over me. I struck the ground again and again, eventually running at the tree I had rested against and throwing myself at it, yelling out my frustration. The wood splinted from my anger fuelled onslaught, yet the tree held strong. I stood panting, seething with rage at the zebra invaders before sitting on my hind and crying into the still air, drowning out Sunset's wailing.

I sat there, every part of my body burning and baying for zebra blood. After a few minutes of my anger boiling away at my soul, a trot behind me betrayed the presence of Sunset. The mare's eyes were bloodshot, her face drenched in tears and her body shaking. I placed my hooves around her as she shivered, the cool metal of my hoof being a stark contrast to her warm body. I held her in the embrace, rocking her gently as Xander's family approached.

Sunset let out a shuddering breath, pushing away and moving close to Xander's mother, “I'm leaving the army Rivet, at least until the foal is old enough to be raised by somepony else. But I want you to do something for me.”

I moved back and waited for the mare to speak her demands, ready to accept anything for my friend, “I want you to do what I couldn't. I want you to avenge Xander and my family. It's a lot to ask, but I have nothing left now. I can only live for his foal, but what then? I have nothing...”

I took her face in my hooves, and put on a reassuring smile, “Live, live for Xander. Live for his foal, bring it up in peace and with Xander's family, it's best you can do for it. I will avenge him Sunset. I will find the zebra that took this away from you and I will bring them to justice.”

Sunset nodded, and kissed my cheek. One last hug was shared and a goodbye smile sent before my friend left with Xander's family. As I stood and watched them become smaller and smaller in the distance, I felt my face grow sterner. I looked over at the grave, and faced my friend for the final time.

“I will kill the zebra that killed you Xander. And if he's dead then I’ll kill every single one of them. But first, I have to to ask that you wait for that retribution for just a little while longer. This war is bigger than we ever imagined, and I don't know if I’ll survive it all. But I’ll try for you, for my mother and for...” my mind flicked to a certain green pegasus and her love confession. I shook her out of my thoughts and replaced it with an image of a smiling Fluttershy and soon the whole of the country, “Equestria.”

I turned around and walked away from his grave, never looking back.


Rivet,

Words cannot say how sorry I am for what has happened between us. This war has consumed Equestria, poisoned it. We are not the same ponies we once were, nor can we ever become them again. I’m sorry, little brother, for everything.

I hope the day comes that you never have to use this hoof, it wasn't meant for you. Yet I bequeath it and my hopes to you so that I may live on alongside you. There are many additions I made to it, but I’ve left most inactive for you to puzzle out yourself. I’m sure you can figure them out soon enough.

The eye is an experiment, the Ministry Mares wanted me to create something a lot worse than what it is now. By now, you're wondering how I know you'll receive both the eye and hoof. Perhaps one day you'll find out for yourself, I can't be expected to help my little brother out all the time, can I?

Farewell Rivet. Maybe you can forgive me when we meet in the afterlife, though I understand if you won't or can't.

Your brother, Ratchet

There is more for the eye to see