• Member Since 18th Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Minds Eye


Are you not entertained?

E

Rumble, the youngest participant in the rainwater tornado and hopeful future Wonderbolt extraordinaire, works too flipping hard. Featherweight justs wants him to loosen up for two seconds.

All work and no play makes Rumble a dull colt, after all.

Thanks to Lambent Dream for giving this a quick preread.

One hundred percent approved by Twilight's Library.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 22 )

This was fun to read even a second time around. It's a different approach to telling a story, and I quite liked it! I didn't pay any attention to the character tags the first time around, and I had to guess at the characters, but I thought you did a great job putting them forward.

Live for today...Because you wont survive to see tomorrow. Great plan Featherweight but watch out for the crusaders.

4613573
Thanks. I was about a hundred and fifty words into this when I realized everything except dialogue was "Rumble sighed," or "Featherweight clenched his teeth." Knowing I was keeping it short, I figured, why not go all dialogue? I've only read one other story on the site that tried it.

4613594
Well, the two colts can fly. Vengeance can be delayed. :rainbowlaugh:

Well that was a fun read. :twilightsmile: Brilliant as always.

4613603
Awesome way to do it I say. Great work

Haha, I like this fiction it's got a sweet feeling to it. Nice job

4615957
4614754
Thank you both. This one was fun to write.

More dialogue-only stories! I feel like I've started a trend. :twilightsheepish:

4616477
I'm considering a sequel with the CMC...

That should be interesting, trying to do dialogue only with three characters.

4616506
I wouldn't recommend it. It's next to impossible to write a story with only dialogue and three characters if you still want to make it flow nicely and want to ensure the reader doesn't get confused. It's up to you though, of course.

Telling a story only through dialogue. :trixieshiftleft: :rainbowhuh: Interesting concept. I like it. :eeyup:

This was an interesting read. Dialog only and you pulled it off nicely. :twilightsmile:

Fun read! They feel a lot older than they are, though. A little off-putting that they seem so grown up. Other than that, nothing to say but that it was entertaining!

5357114
Ribbons accepted!

5357217
Thanks!

This was cute and fun. Didn't try to be more than it was, and worked better as a result. Rumble feels a bit too old in his speech (when compared to the colt in "Hurricane Fluttershy") but it's still one of the better all-dialogue stories I've read. :twilightsmile:

5706033
Yeah, I've noticed that issue with Rumble in some other stories of mine. I just hear his dialogue a lot deeper in my head than his voice is in the episode. Not really sure why.

Thanks for reading!

In the wise words of the Doctor:
vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/the-house-of-anubis/images/0/0b/Geronimo.gif/revision/latest?cb=20130102201407

In relation to the story, 'tis a cute tale and I enjoyed it.

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