Chapter 9 - Exploration
This chapter is available as a "synthesized" audio book:
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> [click here] - with ambient music loop
The two pegasi silently trotted through the empty streets, their hoof-steps muffled by a thick layer of earth on the ground. As such, hearing the sound of hooves clopping against a wooden surface loud and clear gave Daring Do cause to turn. Dash had stepped on a slate of wood lying on the ground, evidently a door that had fallen off its hinges.
A pair of symbols – a pick axe and a hammer – carved into the door's wooden surface caught Daring's eye. The symbols were each encased in a circle, clearly separating them. The building itself, unlike the sturdy home where they had spent the night, had collapsed into a heap of rocks and wooden splinters. The next couple of buildings had not fared much better, though this was not the case for the homes on the other side of the road.
An a whim, she trotted over to a small wooden cottage, taking note of the markings etched into its door. A formation of crystals and... a carrot? Huh.
Examining further, Daring took stock of a variety of symbols set in various arrangements. They mostly shared themes of metal working tools or farming equipment, but also different types of edible plants, stylized mechanics, several variations of the “waving flag”-symbol – often super-imposed on some kind of gemstone – as well as a large variety of images depicting crystalline structures. Many doors shared more than two symbols, although on some, the respective circles were left empty.
It didn't take much brains to figure it out. These were cutie-marks. Each of the carvings on the door represented the marks of its inhabitants. The houses showcasing multiple marks had been home to families, the empty circles likely meant that a colt or a filly who hadn't earned their mark yet had lived here.
Daring Do looked at the buildings all around her.
Even besides the differences in construction-materials, barely two buildings were entirely alike. In most cases, the nuances in design were subtle enough not to spot them immediately, but closer inspection would reveal a curling vine-pattern carved into wooden planks, a small window crammed right under the edge of the roof allowing for a good view on the surrounding area or an additional window sill holding an assortment of empty vases.
Each home came with its own, individual quirks.
One of the buildings she could see further down the road was, bizarrely enough, even sculpted to resemble a giant loaf of bread. Daring Do simply couldn't think of it as anything other than a bakery.
As an archeologist, she studied ancient cultures and history – but she usually wasn't among those to investigate a dig site, or to painstakingly reconstruct broken ceramics to take a wild guess at the general living conditions in the First Griffin Kingdom. She was an adventurer, and her unique talents were best put to use in the more demanding aspects of the job.
Without a doubt, this “job” met the typical requirements for her intervention: Death traps, widespread underground tunnel-labyrinth, collapsing caves, and legends of a powerful artifact.
But this was a place where regular ponies had lived their everyday lives.
Why then had it been sealed off from the outside world, to the point that anypony trying to get in – or out, for that matter – would have to pass through multiple layers of death traps?
“Scrunch!”
Surprised, Daring craned her neck to look down at her right hind-leg. She'd stepped into a type of purple cabbage, growing in the middle of the road. Preoccupied with examining the architecture, she had not payed any mind to the street itself.
Every few buildings, she would come across patches of wildly growing flowers, vegetables or other vegetation, some of which did not stay strictly confined to its designated garden-area, covering buildings or spreading out into the side-alleys. Brightly lit by one of the many luminescent crystals, a patch of particularly rebellious carrot-growth had ventured forth all the way up to the middle of the main road, where it was vehemently fighting for what little resources there were with the local patch of those delicious red flowers she and Dash had had at breakfast.
At what came into sight when the two pegasi turned the corner, Daring Do had to do a double-take. In the center of the square, there was a tree, of all things. Not a particularly large or thick tree, nor even a still living one – but a tree non the less. What was it doing here?
On second glance, it wasn't even the only tree. Further down the road, the pegasus' keen eyes could make out another – no, two more trees.
Okay, this was odd. Sure, carrots and cabbages and all that growing by themselves unattended for centuries probably had some sciency mumbo-jumbo explanation, but trees?
Daring was perplexed. Earth pony magic was subtle – putting the lack of sunlight aside, not even the strongest of earth pony magic, even if a hundred earth ponies gave their all, could cause trees to grow on solid rock. It needed soil, at least a few pony-lengths deep.
There was no way a tree could actually grow here, unless –
Daring's hoof scraped at the ground, digging a small hole in the dirt. It didn't reveal any stone beneath, just more earth. Thinking back to the tunnels, in the vast majority of the tunnel-system the ground had been covered with a thick layer of earth – despite the fact that they were miles below the actual surface. It hadn't occurred to her at the time, but like the walls and ceiling of the cave, the ground should have been solid rock.
Daring Do shook her head in puzzled disbelief. The implications of this were absurd!
The only possible explanation was that the Mareicans had actually taken the time and effort to transport ridiculous amounts of fertile soil to a location as far removed from ideal farming conditions as you could get short of trying to set up an orchard inside an active volcano. And then they had filled up this central cave until the soil was deep enough to even support tree-growth.
The amount of effort that had gone into building this settlement was insane! What could possibly have justified all of this?
Even if the carvings she had seen were any indication of hostile tribes in the area, the Mareicans could've just moved someplace else – the Mareican mainlands were huge! Going underground just didn't make sense!
.
Caught up in her thoughts, Daring hadn't even noticed when Rainbow Dash had stopped following her. Turning around, she saw the cerulean mare linger far behind, still at the bread-shaped building she had spotted earlier.
“You coming, Dash?” she shouted. “We just ate, and I doubt they have anything that's still good anyway. Heh.”
Her chuckle awkwardly petered out with no witty retort forthcoming from the other mare.
Dash caught up to her quickly, but still remained silent. Odd. Talk about a mood-swing!
The adventurer raised an inquisitive eyebrow. “A bit for your thoughts?”
“Huh? Wha? ...Uhm,” Dash floundered. She opened her mouth – then bit down on her lower lip. “It's nothing.”
Daring frowned. After a second, she turned to face Dash again, but the other pegasus had already trotted on without so much as a glance back. She watched the other mare walk down the road. Dash kept looking all about, examining each building she passed – as if she was looking for something specific.
Daring Do shook her head.
The adventurer couldn't help it – she couldn't, for the life of her, just not think about it. Even though she had her hooves full investigating the ancient ruins of a long-lost underground city, the mystery-mare presented enough of a conundrum all by herself.
How did Rainbow Dash know of the Goblet?
If it hadn't been for her initial slip-up, Daring Do would never have suspected a thing. It presented their first encounter in a worrying new light.
What was she hiding? What was the big, scary secret Dash was refusing to tell her?
Twice now, Dash had alluded to her source of information as – What was it? – ah yes, a book. When pressed, however, she remained tight-lipped about the details. On the other hoof, she'd been very firm in reassuring Daring to keep word of the Goblet to herself.
However, if Dash had gained her information on the adventurer's involvement with the Griffonian Goblet from a book, that presented a rather worrying issue. It meant, that whoever had written the book also knew of the Goblet. This in turn posed an urgent question – who was the book's author?
What was to stop that author from spreading word of the Goblet? Rainbow Dash certainly seemed dismissive of the risk, despite the severity of the stakes.
Now that she'd entertained the thought, there was another tid-bit about Dash's story that didn't fit.
Even baring that Rainbow Dash had been teleported across half the world just to be dropped off practically at the hooves of the only other pony in a 500-mile radius – what completely had her baffled was the fact that the multi-hued pegasus was a fan.
The sheer improbability of running into a fan, in the middle of a jungle – it should've occurred to her earlier.
Dash had mentioned being friends with a powerful mage. What was her name again? Twinkle? Sparkle? Granted, she didn't at all know that “Twinkle Sparkle” character, although she had pretty good reason to believe Rainbow Dash's teleportation accident had been anything but.
Dash herself was completely oblivious, it seemed. Otherwise, their initial encounter would've gone quite differently. For one, it would've been less riddled with slip-ups on the hapless mare's behalf.
The corners of her mouth curled into a grimace.
What had Rainbow Dash gotten herself involved in?
Daring sighed. Chancing a glance over at the mare in question, she took note that Dash had once again come to a halt.
This time, her wrapped attention was held by a two-story building.
Rainbow Dash didn't even notice, when Daring Do walked right up to her side.
Curiosity overtook courtesy, and Daring took a peek through one of the broken glass-windows.
What she saw was the interior of a store – a wide desk that spanned the width of the room, a large open space for customers, and a bunch of shelves at the walls, notably one larger shelf behind the counter.
She couldn't quite recognize the items from where she was standing, though the gleam of metal reflecting the light pouring in from outside gave her a hunch.
But Dash wasn't looking at the store's interior. She was looking up at the wooden store-front and the large, ornate oaken sign that hung at its side.
Daring Do didn't need to understand Mareican script to grasp its meaning. Judging by the pictogram, this store specialized in... clocks and horseshoes?
Huh, what an arbitrary combination. Who'd ever heard of a shop like that?
Rainbow Dash's expression was unreadable.
The question was on the tip of her tongue. Daring decided against it.
Bringing up the “big scary secret” in casual conversation didn't seem the right way to approach this.
The way Rainbow Dash had acted, she needed more than just one argument or just one question to get information out of her. She needed more time to think about this.
Besides, it wasn't like Dash was going anywhere.
Glancing around, the adventurer took stock of the area.
The general layout of the buildings was different. While before, their size would vary from small cottages to five-story apartments, here, they conformed to a two-level structure with few exceptions.
Most of the buildings spotted signs similar to the one on the “Clocks and Horseshoes”-store. A market district, perhaps?
One structure in particular caught Daring's interest.
The wooden facade stood out amongst a row of brick buildings, as it was. Daring ran a hoof across one of the many deep grooves in the wood. They had been crafted with great care, but the meaning of the pattern eluded her. Straight lines ran outwards from the entrance door, across the entire facade, turning left and right, up or down in sharp angles. At odd intervals, short wooden planks were attached to the outside walls, angled either horizontal or vertical to the ground in such a way that the grooves in the wooden surface would only intersect underneath them.
On examining the interior – asides from the standard furnishings and pottery – she found several small-to-medium sized wooden and stone tablets with carvings of a design similar to the building-front. But also, she found carvings depicting various symbols – a crystal and a scroll, a book with a flower on it, a gear wheel encased in a gem, a crystal tiara, a spoon and a fork...
The geometric designs made no sense to her, though from the myriad displays of cutie-marks she would judge this to be the work-place of an artist.
She even found a large oaken door propped up against the wall – not fallen off its hinges, not inside a door-frame, but actually leaning against the wall – with two empty circles on it. At a glance, she'd even wager the artist as responsible for the marks she'd seen all throughout the city.
The upstairs was a living area, though it was a bit smaller than the home they had stayed in. The artist had lived by themself, it seemed.
Upon exiting the building, she realized Dash had wandered off yet again. She didn't see her down the road in either direction. Where had that pony gotten to now?
“Hey, Daring! Come check out what I found!”
.
The room clearly had been used as an armory. Swords and spears were lined up on the walls on one end, metal shields and some kind of crossbow on the other.
Daring Do picked up the wooden crossbow and looked it over. The string was broken, but it was otherwise in a remarkable condition for its age. Even the hoof-band, used to achieve a steady aim for non-magic users was still intact – the Mareicans had all been earth ponies, she reminded herself.
What caught her interest was the odd design, though.
There was a small metal tube on its top, right above the arrow-slot. It was coupled with a second, smaller tube with a piece of cloth in the shape of a fin attached. After rubbing off some dust, she could identify a glass lens on each end of the lower tube.
Daring whistled, recognizing its use. The lenses had a magnifying effect, allowing the archer a better aim at its target. Far, far ahead of its time, as it seemed to be typical for the Mareicans.
Experimentally, she pulled her hoof through the elastic band at the bottom, intending to take aim in order to gauge the strength of the lenses' magnifying effect. While fumbling around with the hoof-band, however, there was a quiet clicking sound, and a thin ray of light emitted from the upper tube on the crossbow.
At first, Daring Do was a bit confused as to the mechanics of this, but she quickly caught on. There was a miniature version of the luminescent crystals enclosed in the upper tube. A small metal circle shape on the front end had slid to the side, allowing the light to shine free, albeit concentrated into a thin line through yet another glass lens.
The adventurer scratched her head. What would be the use in putting a tiny light on top of the crossbow? It wasn't good for seeing anything in the dark, that much was sure.
Curious, Daring steadied the weapon and took aim through a nearby window. The magnifying effect certainly was impressive, but what surprised her was the tiny white dot she could see in the distance, evidently projected from the crossbow's light-source, marking her target.
Pretty clever. Sure, it wasn't perfect, the light dot kept moving away from the center, but –
Wait, that was actually because the fin on top moved whenever there was an air current.
Daring Do blinked. This was not a flaw, it was a feature. The fin measured the wind-direction, and this would indicate adjustments the archer would have to make before shooting.
“Woah. Now I am impressed!” Daring looked at the 8000-year old crossbow in astonishment.
“GAH! Look out!”
Daring barely had turned around to the source of the cry, when a streak of blinding white light suddenly filled her vision. The adventurer cried out in alarm, as she stumbled away backwards. It was over as quick as it had begun, leaving her momentarily dazed. For several seconds, she had trouble seeing anything other than the after-image of whatever it was that had just passed her by. Her face suddenly felt warm – just a tad above what would be comfortable, like she was sitting too close to a fire.
When she could see again, Daring startled at the flames in front of her nose. With a start, she once again took several steps backwards, but the flames kept following.
It took her panicking mind a couple of seconds to realize that she wasn't on fire. It was the wooden crossbow that was still strapped to her hoof that was burning, it's front-half having turned into char-coal.
“What... what was that?” Daring turned to the other pegasus, who was gaping back at her, clearly shocked. Dash was holding something in her hooves, but began struggling with its hoof-strap immediately after Daring had looked her way.
Eyes widening by the implications, Daring's healthy wing flared out in an instinctive reaction. “HEY! What the buck!? You shot at me!” She pointed an accusing hoof at the mare, only to take note of the burning crossbow that was still attached to it, its aim now directed towards the cerulean pegasus as indicated by the white dot dancing over Dash's face. Daring quickly pulled her hoof down.
“I didn't mean to shoot at you!” the cerulean-blue pegasus shrieked, her voice shaky and slightly higher pitched than normal. “How the hay was I supposed to know these ancient ponies had friggin' laser-weapons!?”
“Layzer-what?” Daring questioned, as she wiggled her way out of the hoof-strap to discard the charcoal weapon.
“Laser weapons! You know, like, weapons that shoot lasers, and stuff! Like in 'Ponytales from Space'... Uh... you know, comics? Like, what aliens or future-ponies have?”
“I... don't think I'm familiar with those. I was always more a fan of...” Daring trailed off, noticing a hoof-sized, faintly glowing red spot on one of the metal shields hanging on the wall behind her.
Grimacing, she pushed the thoughts of 2nd to 1st degree burns from her mind. She only half-listened to the other pegasus' stammered apologies, as her eyes were irresistibly drawn to the weapon itself.
Wordlessly, Dash hoofed the apparition over to Daring.
It mainly consisted of a thick metal tube about twice the length of a fore-leg. The mechanism itself was not immediately apparent, and Daring didn't care much for looking straight through the weapon's barrel to find out. At a sideways glance, she just caught the last of a fading glow emanating through a densely packed array of yet more crystalline lenses.
Hefting the heavy apparition over her shoulder, her hoof easily slid around an elegantly carved wooden handle next to the hoof-strap. A small tube at the side of the weapon provided an analog to the crossbow's aiming aid, albeit with darkened lenses to protect the wielder's eye-sight.
It was, quite simply, a typical example of Mareican hoof-work. And it just kept raising more questions.
“What is going on here?” Rainbow Dash spoke out loud, swiping a hoof in a wide arc that encompassed more than just the room they were standing in.
Bit of an odd way to phrase it, but Daring couldn't agree more.
Regular homes, schools for foals – and spike-traps, lava- and crocodile-pits. Carrot- and cabbage-gardens, trees – and a hundred-mile tunnel system twisting into the depths of the earth. Bakeries, shops, lawn ornaments – and legends of an ancient, all-powerful artifact. Swords and arrows – and weapons shooting searing hot rays of light.
These types of things generally just didn't mix. How they had gotten intertwined with each other in Mareican culture was a complete and utter mystery.
“I don't know,” Daring spoke out loud.
She looked at the apparition Rainbow Dash had identified as a “laser-weapon”, then ventured a side-ways glance at the mare herself.
Dash's attention had already shifted. Now, She was intently fixated on an ornamental vase. Some half-broken thing – a large crack ran straight through the trio of smiling flowers painted on its side.
There was that far-off expression on Dash's face again. Eyes unfocused, she muttered something under her breath, too quiet for Daring Do to understand.
The corners of Daring's mouth settled into a grim line.
“But I'm going to find out.”
.
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.
.
.
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Special thanks go, once again, to my editor, lightfox lowell. 
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3876089 Better late then never.
It's... ALIVE!!!!
I've been looking forward to this update for a long time now. Wish there was something I could do to help you along.
Actually from what I understand, they had gotten stricter for a while, but then got a lot of negative reaction to it and thus, while they are still super strict, they have some sort of policy about giving better feedback, at least last I checked.
That was a couple months ago, so your info might be more up to date than mine.
This is getting very interesting. The array of high tech weaponry is making me think there is something really big behind all of this like an external (i.e. alien) actor here, and the mystery has me very intrigued.
As for EQD, don't waste your time. Even beyond their insane mechanical nitpicking, they will also reject a story for deviating from their preferred formatting style, using characters and/or concepts they do not like, making deviations from canon even when they are critical to the story, and a host of other insane minutia. About the only things that ever get through any more are mindless one-shots and stories written by friends of pre-readers which are universally garbage. It has actually gotten to the point that I view an EQD feature as a mark against a story because of the way they keep anything even remotely intelligent or interesting off the site.
Here's one! Spelling. Was that helpful?
But yeah, 8000 year-old laser guns. That's a thing... that happened...
So it's not going to have a particularly happy ending? That's really the only difference 8etween tragedy and comedy. Comedy ends happy, tragedy ends sad.
~Vriska Serket
It's alive again, quick get me a blessed weapon.
So undead jokes aside, nice to here from you again.
th06.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2012/005/0/d/cheerilee_fun_by_sircinnamon-d4leion.png
Well ain't that a doozy
It lives! Huzzah!
I'm not sure apparition is the word you were looking for.
Perhaps apparatus is what you were after?
While apparition could work you first need to establish some context for its nature and appearance and how and why it is out of place or surprising.
When you have a self insert type premise, and do it properly, there are some things I love. Namely that of internal characters being unaware or unbeliving of that fact (assuming it to be true) and then theories to the contrary. If you are trying to keep that secret, what you let slip has interesting effects. Those that handle it properly generally involve the OC (That is, the inserted character. Here it is Rainbow Dash, but treating Daring Do's stories as their own book, and this as fanfiction, Rainbow is an OC self insert, or similar to such.) knowing way more than they should, and any leaks being excessively suspicious.
I love how Daring's working theory, from the scraps, is that there are extra parties with knowledge of these potentially world-ending artifacts. (Not sure actually what effects they have, canon, and various fanfictions are hard to keep straight) Rainbow Dash looks like a dupe, being manipulated by an unknown Twilight Sparkle. What would be really disturbing, especially to Rainbow Dash, would be if the story twisted to make that theory internally factual, and have a Twilight Sparkle who both knows of those, and has antagonistic, if not evil-like setup.
Or it could just be to show Daring thoughts. Still, the setup suggests that this will be resolved, in some respect. This isn't a story where a self-insert occurs, full knowledge of this world as fictional is revealed, and the internal characters just accept it and move on. It is going to be a significant issue later, and the reveal could have significant consequences.
~~Less Related
*I don't use Self Insert, OCs, OOC, or Mary Sue/Gary Stu as an insult, like way too many people treat it as. Those are valid concepts, merely dangerous and unpopular. Hard to handle, and if done wrong, they all tend to be disastrous or boring. Lots of people try, do poorly, and people end up associating those concepts with bad stories.
huzzah! I'm was sure happy to see this update I read it right away even though its 3am right now. When I first found this story a month ago I read the whole thing in one sitting and was pretty upset when I came to the end of the latest chapter, so thanks for not giving in to the temptations of The Eternal Hiatus!!
I'm glad to see that this is updating, and I enjoyed your insight into Daring's developing (and so-far reasonable) suspicions of Rainbow Dash.
But I am a bit worried about your stated intention of revising earlier chapters. I have encountered stories that never got finished, because the author got obsessed with continually improving past chapters to match the writing quality of the last chapter written. Making the story better is laudable, but please do not fall into the trap of spending more time revising than actually writing.
P.S. If we are talking about the realm of the counter-factual, one possibility that Daring might consider if she got really close to the truth is that Rainbow Dash somehow obtained a book of prophesy, either specifically about her, or else about everypony in a narrow geographical region that includes her. Under this theory (and assuming she didn't know what the book actually was), Rainbow could have read all about Daring's adventures, thinking that she was a fictional character. And then this "Sparkle" character bungles a teleportation spell that interacts with the book, and the fan suddenly meets her idol. It would be one way to preserve the adventurer's sanity. The reason why Rainbow is not telling her about the book, then, is because she fears that once Daring knows what is going to happen to her, there will be no way to prevent what the book says from coming true, no matter how horrible. This theory isn't true, but it's the sort of thing that could happen in Daring Do's universe, and so it could be reasonable to her.
4338404 OK. That m8kes more sense.
~Vriska Serket
4338404
In classic Greek drama, a comedy was a story with a happy ending (leading to, for example, The Divine Comedy by Dante). A tragedy was a story witha character who suffers a serious misfortune (which was not accidental). In this case, "significant" is with regard to the event's relevance to the protagonist's actions, not to the scale.
Then there was the satyr plays, which were obscene.
4338167
No need to worry!
I specifically stated that the tone of the story would not change.
Just that I falsely used the "comedy"-tag when I first posted this story.
To quote the Fimfiction Writer's Guide:
So, say, a hypothetical story called "Rise of the Planet of the Bunnies" wherein Angel Bunny steals the alicorn amulet from Zecora to take over Ponyville with an army of adorable bunnies with the express goal to Carrot Tops garden - that would qualify as a comedy.
A generally "non-dark", "non-tragic" and "positive...ish outlook"-type story like this would not qualify.
Nice to see this updating again... It's updating more frequently than my stuff, so I can't complain about that. Want to know how often mine is updating? Here's a comment someone sent me.
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw10401_medium.jpg
You're fine, just keep up the good work.
you got me thinking there for a second, that they are stumbled upon Ponyville somewhow buried deep.
Screw EQD, I never go there anyway. Your fic is great, errors and all. I'm well into it and always wonder when the next chapter's going to be out. Keep on flying, dear author. EQD feature or not, you're still awesome.
4341621 OK. Now I want to read that story.
~Vriska Serket
Ponies with frickin' lasers.
4348326 Ah, it's not that exiting. Unicorns can do that too, they're practically born with a built-in laser.
i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/006/026/futuramafry.jpg
*...Not sure if trolling, or cryptic hint*
Why has no one else commented that this village seems suspiciously a lot like Ponyville? Ponyville with lasers.
EqD's nice and all if you get in, but you won't lose anything by not getting in.
If you want some extra eyes on your story's quality, submit it to the Writers and Reviewers Institute for Technical Excellence.
4353168
I know, right? It does bare quite a resemblance to Ponyville. I mean, why else would Rainbow Dash continually pause on certain buildings and objects? Something is pretty darn fishy about this ancient village deep within the ground. It's not like that the fact that these ancient ponies had access and the know how to use freaking laser guns is fishy, right?
But no seriously, this village is way to suspicious. I hope we find out more answers to out mystery ancient village soon because the suspense is driving me crazy.
~ Super-Brony12
4362389
I'd not bat an eye at laser guns in a setting where you have magic crystals and the like. Too easy to set that sort of thing up.
But an almost replica of your hometown, deep underground? THAT'S freaky. xD
4365794
Point taken on the laser guns, and yes, finding a near replica of your hometown deep underground IS freaky.
Well, new chapter
And now Daring intends to find out about Dash's secret. A secret which she would have the hardest time understanding, if she could understand it at all.
Also, laser-type weapons next to a school for little foals? Or at least near to it? If this town really resembles Ponyville - and what a mindfuck it would be to read that name in the old Mareican (which kinda sounds like American, you know?) - and the CMC were inside with LASER WEAPONS...
say, does tree sap decompose into earth by any chance?
4339976
img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120228224010/mlp/images/e/ec/FANMADE_Twilight_Clapping.gif
THAT. Exactly that.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
Dash is essentially the "Brony-in-Equestria"-stand-in character trapped in the fictional world of "Daring Do". Allows me to play a few jokes off on the side, too.
In fact, let me illustrate:
beyond-cheating.de/bonus/random/fim-pics/we_need_to_take_and_go_deeper.png
Stories that have the Fourth Wall as a center piece, and/or take it serious are rare.
And a "Brony in Equestria"-story adressing the issue in a serious fashion and the characters not just "getting over it" instantly? Not particularly frequent.
I liked how "The Last Brony Gets His Wish" handled it -- well, handles it, it seems to be more of an ongoing process.
4389773
Now I kinda want to see a "brony in the Daring Do series" fic
Now I have to go wright a story where somepony makes an orchard inside a volcano. Gee thanks.
4603124 ... Dragon-farmers. As in, dragons who work a farm. In a volcano.
Because.
...interesting, a lot of these decorations look like they're from Dash's memory, but some others don't. It's like the world picked a town from Dash (or other Ponyvillians - if either of them are influencing the story, too), then wrapped ancient textures around it... It's fortunate if some archaeologist like Daring was also behind this world's existence. But what is most scary now - is if it's entirely Dash's realm. In that case, it can collapse entirely if Dash leaves, like in thrilling sci-fi movies. Like, if Dash suddenly knows and has to stay in there forever to save Daring from world's destruction.
Why do I keep looking out for apocalypse in every story?..
4494023 I have an alternate idea:
Brony goes to Breezie-world.
And Equestria is just on the other side of that 15cm hole.
4878997
i.imgur.com/cX9Tqqr.png
Is work on the next chapter progressing well?
4 chapters in 2012.
3 chapters in 2013.
2 chapters in 2014.
UTHT, I hope you'll release more than one chapter this year! And I hope this brilliant fanfic won't be cancelled in 2016!!!
The core of what makes your story work is the relationship between Dash and Daring. Daring has much reason to trust Dash, yet also much reason to distrust her, and that tug back and forth for her, as well as Dash's scrambled attempts to thread such a delicate needle, are really interesting.
5536471
Careful there! By that logic, I'd have to start removing chapters by 2017!
Eheheh. Heh. Sorry for being such a slowpoke.
I kinda am stuck in a specific scene in chapter 10. Kinda.
I'm not stuck completely. It's more like... writing through quick sand. Or tar.
Every other <insert time interval here> I still get back to it, but progress is just so frustratingly painfully slow and tedious ... Urgh.
Although if I could just get that ONE scene done...
I'll probably post a blog-thingy at some point, asking for help, although right now I am bound by other RL-obligations.
5606742
Ohhh thanks for replying. :D
Don't worry, I always download the fics I like most. I'll reupload it if you delete it, haha. And I'll specify that the author is the one who let the dogs out when the party was nice and the party was pumping.
Well, I'm not rushing you in any way. In fact, this is the only fanfic (besides Pinkieviduality, of course), which I'm enjoying to wait for. :D
If you don't feel like writing that part, don't write it. That will only be for the better, I guess.
I also read in some blog that you actually have chapters 11 and 12 half-written, so I'm never ever rushing you. xD
But as for me, sorry, I won't be able to help you in any way. My English isn't good enough for writing. xD
Also, are you planning on making more GameShark/AR codes? 'Cause I just realised I have a new YouTube due to this G+ thing, and I haven't subbed yet!
Thanks for reply anyway. :D
I think I can safely say you're as slow a writer as me. I haven't updated any of my better books in over a year, and even my most recent story hasn't been touched on in months.
I wonder if it could work out for Dash to claim she's from the future and the information she has is dangerous because it could alter the timeline. Of course, that's still a big stretch even for ponies (since the time travel spell in the Canterlot archives isn't common knowledge, and even if it was, it still wouldn't be capable of what Dash would be claiming it's done). Not to mention all the questions it could bring up which Dash might not be able to anticipate or make up convincing lies about fast enough. Though this lie could ultimately be her only choice if she wishes to continue keeping the truth from Daring. How else would she be able to explain her claim that she's from a town called Ponyville if it turns out the town doesn't exist? (Though she shouldn't have to cross that bring until they've escaped the underground ruins and Daring can look at a map, so for the moment she's safe from having to confront that apparent contradiction.) It could be that time travel of the variety that lasts for more than a few moments before snapping the time-traveler back to their own time is impossible in this story, if that's what the author decides. However, if it does fall at least vaguely within the realm of possibility for these characters, I hope Dash will at least consider this idea at some point.
6191505 The main problem is, that I get the chance to properly write on this story only rarely.
Writing comments is easy.
Writing a more "random" story where I can just screw around is ... not quite as trivial, but still manageable.
Putting all the little pieces together to form the proper sentences and paragraphs that sound good and convey the desired meaning for a story engaging both in a serious narrative AND a meta-narrative, thus playing straight into my perfectionistic tendencies?
I need to be 105% awake to write that. By the time I get to sit down and do something in the evening, I'm usually way below 105%.
This is incredibly frustrating, especially after working up the motivation to write.
6214226 Dang it, this is one of those times where I'd love to be able to talk about it, but can't due to spoilers.
6863797 ...Then she must be leaning on a wall, or sitting on the ground, or balancing on her hind-legs, or... promptly fall on her face. I see where you're coming from.
7512831 I am a slooooooooow writer.
7512945 eh, I don't worry too much. A fic I was reading suddenly updated for the first time in literally a decade, so all hope is not lost!
Also, side quirk to the site: unless the comment is on the latest chapter, don't reply from the story page. The reply doesn't get a notification unless it's in the same chapter as the original comment, so we didn't even know you did so until getting to the end here.
Keep going! ;)
7517737 You're only the second person to point that out.
Finally caught with this after way too long. Definitely looking forward to the next installment.
7842679 Thanks!
And contrary to popular belief, this story isn't dead.
I know I keep saying that, but --
OH MY GOD, LOOK BEHIND YOU, A THREE HEADED MONKEY! Err... IN SPACE!!!!!