• Member Since 27th Jun, 2014
  • offline last seen Jun 5th, 2017

PeanutButterAndMilk


Comments ( 25 )

Not only does that cover art sicken me, but that description is already pushing me away from this fic. It makes no sense.

Woah, you... Just woah....

4612685 You don't have to lay it on harsh..

I don't mind the cover art, but it's true that the description could use a little tweaking. As for the story, it was relatively well-written. I found a few typos and erros dotted around, but if you fix those It'll be fine.

4612763 My friend he is right.

Not only that, but the first few paragraphs I've read was a little jarring. Effort in description is important but author is laying it on very thick. Whether it is only to give more detail to the setting around him or to add a bit f feeling to atmosphere I do not know, but it's just a tad bit too much.

Okay for a clop fic, but not enough for me to give upvote. Won't downvote though.

4612780 I can respect that. :pinkiesmile:

4612685
4612743
4612763
4612780
Thanks for the feedback guys, I haven't written anything in a long time, so I am a little rusty. The typos are probably due to my typing it out on my phone most of the time.

As for the content, could you point out exactly where too much detail was used? I kinda wanted to set the scene for the whole thing; I didn't want just mindless sex.

Also, Impress Me, I changed the cover art and the description, just for you baby :raritywink:

This was good, it has a like from me.

4612939
Thanks mate, do you know of anything I could improve? Anything you felt was wrong?

Ew! What the fuck is this? I came here because the title made me think I'd be in for a good bondage fic, and I just get some weak-sauce wrestling-to-sex bullshit? OC is bland and blech. The actual sex is boring and dry as fuck. Please tell me this is a trollfic.

4613043
>Expects something
>Turns out it's not what he wanted
>Cries about it

Thanks for the feedback though, bro.

4613118 Not really, I'm just bored and an absolute asshat. G'day!

4612960 I say only this: If this is you with rust on you, I can't wait to see you in 1 to 2 weeks.

Your only problem is just some very small spelling flaws. If that your version of rusty, I'm sure your going to be an amazing writer.

I liked it. I think it was a tiny bit rushed in places and would have benefited from an extra few hundred words slipping in here and there just to polish the narrative but otherwise a solid concept well executed. I look forward to your future work.

4612821
I try to avoid writing on the phone, due to auto correct correcting what doesn't need correcting.
But don't sweat it bro, I'm sure well get over typos.

Wow, thanks for all the great feedback guys!

I'll probably have something new for you by Wednesday, if not a little sooner.

Noooo I was hoping for the opposite scenario ow well better luck next time :twilightsmile:

Eh, what can I say? It was good, but short.

Another fic is on the way guys, sit tight! It'll be done by Wednesday at the latest, if not Tuesday.
It involves Rarity and massages, that's all I'm gonna let on for now :duck:

very nice. submit to the power and intelligence of the donger

Im not one for First-Person but i like this.

5788027
Second person, actually. First person would be "I do X", "I say Y", etc.

This was good. Well done:twilightsmile:

She shold've used her wings and lifted him in the air when he grabbed her.

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