An Enthusiastic Admirer

by Eyeswirl the Weirded

Chapter 5: Lock and Load!

Soarin set down a card. "I choose Porcupuncture!"

"I think it's 'activate'," Doctor said, "or is it 'summon'?"

"Depends," Shining said, a hoof on his chin as he tried to concentrate, "has it been three turns since the trap-card triumvirate went inactive?"

"Yes," Prince said, looking at his cards as though he had no idea what they were for, "but I thought that Demagify thing from a few turns ago nullified the graveyard?"

Doctor drew another card from the deck, pretty sure he was supposed to do that now, it had been four minutes since his last card went face-down. "Wasn't that for spells?"

"Yes?" Soarin guessed.

"No." Shining ammended.

"No?"

"I mean... Um... Damn, the rule books are probably back at the library."

"Rulebooks?! Plural?!"

Doctor chuckled. "I'm starting to see why your sister usually won these games."

Shining scowled a little. "We're gonna have to have a talk about you knowing things I didn't tell you, Doctor."

He smiled innocently. "Oh, I didn't know, it was just easily inferred given the context." The others nodded sagely.

---

Things were not going quite the way Trixie had hoped. First the prince slips out from under her hooves somehow, then the library was apparently closed, no amount of knocking or direct investigation helping her find out whether or not he was in there at all, that farmer might have been trying to help, but ultimately couldn't tell her anything useful, and then a pink pony thoroughly gasp'n'running her while a goofy-eyed, if kind, mailmare accidentally led her in circles. The black pegasus, Wondershame or something, might have had the right idea in returning to her wagon, at least. She was getting tired.

When the wagon was in sight, she also noticed four stallions gathered near it, playing some manner of card game. Among them was a pony that somehow made her forget her fatigue as she increased her pace toward them. "Hello, My Darling Prince!"

While they were still out of earshot, Doctor whispered to Prince, who was already starting to sweat. "You might want to try reverse psychology first, it'll sound a lot less convincing after the other ideas, I think."

Prince nodded. He gulped, but then nodded, the plan made sense. He quickly went over the lines he intended to use in this plan in his head, feeling lucky in that he actually remembered most of them. As Trixie drew close, he quickly stepped forward and wrapped his forehooves around her. "Ah, how pleasant it is to have you here again, My Dear!"

The reasonably confused, if quietly pleased showmare blinked rapidly, sputtering. "I-I, uh, bwuh?"

He backed away slightly, forehooves still on her shoulders, and smiled. "I've been trying to recount the ways I'd like to be yours, from never leaving one another's company for a single, solitary second to being chained together!" He pressed his face a little closer to hers, eyes wide, smile wider. "Forever and ever."

Blinking rapidly, face going red, Trixie stared back at him looking bewildered until a silly sort of smile formed. "W-we could, I mean-"

Internally horrified at what was coming out of his mouth, Blueblood could only think to keep up the offensive, forcing his huge, false grin to stay. "OF COURSE," he all but shouted in her face, "The second one means we would be doing both at the same time, forever! Why, we could get huge, heavy, golden shackles for the wedding. and be bound together every waking moment until death do us part!"

Her eyes misted lightly, but it did not appear to be in fear or revulsion as she continued to smile. "R-really...?"

Taking a few steps back, Prince's mask began to crumble under increasingly obvious panic and sweat.

Shining nudged Doctor with an elbow. "Uhm, Doc? I don't think it's working."

He grinned. "I know. Don't ask why, but I think I support this."

Trixie giggled, brushing a hoof under Prince's chin. "You know, Trixie was thinking... That teleportation spell you did earlier, so many times in such a short period, and with enough precision to squeeze into some of those places? Magnificent, but," she began to blush, her smile showing just the faintest hint of nervousness, "T-Trixie has always had trouble with that spell, -one of VERY few spells Trixie can't seem to cast, mind you!- so perhaps," her voice dropped to a whisper, "you could teach her?"

Eyes still showing no small amount of terror, he grinned a little too widely. "Study closely!" *FLASH!*

Trixie peered around, eyes wide before a smirk found it's way onto her muzzle. "Ohh, you tease!"

He took a moment to get his thoughts together, knowing he didn't have long if she did what she did earlier. He decided on Macintosh's method before teleporting back to Trixie.

Blinking once at his hasty return, she smiled. "Welcome back, Beloved! Trixie has something else to ask you!"

"Nope."

She blinked. "T...Trixie didn't ask the question yet."

"Nope."

She nodded, glad they could agree on the blatantly obvious. "Right, Trixie has happened across a romantic spot not far from the local apple orchard and-"

"Nope."

Trixie made a face as though she'd been swatted on the nose with a rolled up newspaper, a very light pain with a lot of confusion. "No good? Alright, how about the gazebos near-"

He grinned, it was working! "Nope."

"A quiet spot in the woo-"

"Nope."

"The riversi-"

"Nope."

"Uhm..." She placed a hoof to her chin in thought before her eyes widened, a hint of a blush and a smirk that bordered on lewd on her features. "Ohh, you'd rather go back to your place to-"

"Nope!" Soarin was very clearly holding in giggles, Shining Armor doing a much better job of concealing his own.

She deflated slightly. "Oh. Trixie's wagon?"

"Nope!"

Her exasperation told Blueblood he could only keep it up. "I-isn't there anywhere you'd like to go and-"

"Nope!"

She tilted her head, looking slightly annoyed. "Are you just playing a game with Trixie?"

"Nope!"

"Are you going to say anything besides 'nope'?!"

He grinned ear to ear. "Nope!"

Trixie's brow furrowed as she pouted, but Prince only beamed back. Her eyes widened for a split second in a manner that suggested she just had an idea. Then, grinning mischievously, she placed a hoof over his mouth, eyes half-lidded. "If Trixie asked if you wanted to marry her, right now, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one?" She stepped back, allowing him to reply.

"N-" Stopping himself, he looked as though he'd been slapped across the face as her sentence sunk in. "I-I mean ye, I mean, n... N..." He blinked rapidly, visibly sweating. This can't be! The denial method! Denied!

Her smile was equal parts seductive and predatory as she silently thanked Cloud Kicker, looking not unlike a jungle cat about to pounce on a helpless rodent. "Weeeelll?"

Trapped, he looked pleadingly to his friends for assistance. Soarin doubling over in laughter suggested he had few helpful ideas. "D-du-hude," he managed to say between gasps for breath, "if she weren't so obsessed with you, Trixie'd make one hell of a huntress!"

Trixie smiled smugly at this, snout raised just slightly as she took in what she assumed was praise. Blueblood spoke through gritted teeth. "Could you please not encourage her?"

He still hadn't quite conquered his giggles. "Well, you gotta admire the mare, she's putting A LOT of effort into it."

Shining face-hoofed. "Plan C?"

Prince nodded, turning to the grinning showmare with a serious expression. "Trixie, I apologize for being so obtuse about all of this, but the truth is that I already have a fillyfriend."

Her smile vanished. "...You have...?"

"Yes, and as such I cannot be your-"

"Prove it," she interrupted, an eyebrow raised, "show Trixie what you two have got together."

Her target blinked. "Prove it?"

She nodded once. "Prove it."

There was a long pause as Prince looked to his friends inquisitively. "...Prove it?"

"Prove it," Doctor confirmed, Soarin suggestively waggling his eyebrows with an all-too-pleased sort of grin on his face.

"Prove it," he muttered quietly in reply.

"Prooove it?" Shining added, his face suggesting he was working out a particularly difficult puzzle.

Blueblood looked at Trixie, waiting expectantly, and nodded. "Right. Prove it." And then he bolted, Shining giving chase a few seconds later. The two racing stallions made no notice of those watching them zip through the town in random directions, only small, blurred snippets of the conversation picked up by witnesses.

He shouted after his fleeing friend. "What the hay are you doing?!"

Said friend shouted back, not slowing down. "Running for my life, what does it look like?!"

"Don't you have a fillyfriend?!"

"What makes you say that?!"

"I thought you met somepony recently!"

"Umm..."

"Remember?" Shining asked as he galloped alongside the sprinting noblepony, "The one that-"

"I don't know where she lives!!"

He added a note of incredulity to his shouts. "Didn't you walk her home at least once?!"

"Of course, I am a gentlecolt, am I not?!" the sweating, panting, disheveled gentlecolt responded with loud indignance.

"Then why can't you-"

He flicked his head toward the homes they were rushing past. "These houses all look largely the same and it was dark!!"

Growing too fatigued to keep up the chase and shout-talk, Shining deployed a magical sheild in front of Prince, who stopped dead when he collided with it.

Blueblood fell backward, emitting a pained groan that sounded a lot like "Thanks for that, loyal bodyguard."

Catching his breath and wincing at the possible damage he'd just dealt to his employer, Shining Armor helped him to his hooves again. "Sorry." He smiled. "Anyway, I think I know how you can find her!"

Even with their morning runs, it took considerably longer for one of them to get their second wind, so the only reply besides heavy breathing was a raised eyebrow and a faint look of hope.

"All you have to do is sit outside ponies' houses every morning and see who comes out for their mail!"

Prince deadpanned. "You want me to sit outside ponies' houses. And stare at them. As they collect the day's postage."

Shining, realizing how that might be weird, reformed the plan a little. "You could, uh, hide in the bushes or something?"

Prince's jaw dropped. Before he could point out how many ways that probably wasn't acceptable around here, let alone legal, a voice sounded from somewhere nearby.

"Trixie actually rather likes that plan!"

For a pony that just caught his breath, Blueblood did a remarkable job of nearly jumping out of his skin. Upon landing, he quickly turned to face her along with Shining Armor, the two of them a mix of confused and horrified to see that they had run all around Ponyville, bar Sweet Apple Acres, and wound up exactly where they'd started. Damn force of habit!

Trixie was lying in a sultry pose on her stage, cape hanging slightly over the side and hat tipped at an angle on her head, but the most outstanding thing was Soarin and Doctor gently fanning her with giant leaves. Before anypony could ask, Doctor smiled, as much as one could with a fan-leaf in their mouth. "I really have no idea what happened." Soarin could only shrug.

Trixie smirked, speaking in a tone that bordered on suggestive. "What filly wouldn't love finding a handsome prince in their shrubs?"

There were probably more than a few, but now didn't seem like the time. It was at this point that a white unicorn filly was noticed whispering into the ear of Doctor, who had leaned down to hear her. He nodded once and the filly smiled, waving a hoof at her yellow, red-maned friend, who pulled a little red wagon in front of the stage/much bigger wagon. She stopped and looked at Trixie, who stared back curiously. "Howdy, Miss Trixie! Mah friends an' Ah are here to invite'cha to a party!"

Standing up, Trixie raised a single eyebrow, unable to resist an amused smirk. "Really? You'd invite Trixie to your birthday party? Trixie is touched." She was vaguely certain this filly had been present for her brief performance at the school, perhaps classes had ended for the day?

Applebloom smiled. "Oh, it's not mah party, it's yers!"

The magician blinked, confused at both the statement... and that Blueblood was now covering his eyes with both forehooves for some reason. "Trixie really doesn't have time for-"

The little earth pony's eyes went wide and watery as she pouted just a little bit. "Won'tcha come with us, please?"

Trixie drew a hoof to her chest, wincing. "Hnngh...!" She glanced at the nearby stallions, Blueblood and that damn pegasus covering their eyes or looking away as the filly's stare seemed to pull her in, Trixie's mouth speaking words that were not her own. "I... I, I g-guess, I could, just for a little while...?"

She was immediately shoved into the wagon from behind by the white unicorn and an orange pegasus. "Cutie Mark Crusader Pony Retrieval Squad, YAAAAY!!" Pushed by three fillies at once, the wagon sped off toward Sugarcube Corner before its passenger could so much as utter a complaint.

Prince, eyes still covered, tested the waters when things were silent again. "Are they gone?"

Shining and Doctor, who had developed an immunity to the heart-stopping magic of painfully cute foals due to having a little sister or two hearts Dinky, quickly scanned the area. The latter nodded once. "Looks like it."

"Probably a Pinkie Party," Soarin chimed in, "I'd suggest we all go join in, but..."

The quiet was slightly awkward this time as the four present exchanged looks, Shining finally speaking the shared thought. "None of the plans worked, huh?"

"Does anypony have any more ideas?" Prince inquired. "Because all I've got at this point is skipping town for a few days."

Doctor scratched his chin with a hoof. "Perhaps if we knew what attracted her to you in the first place?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Didn't I already explain that part?"

"It had to have been more than a simple compliment or two," Soarin added, "isn't there anything else you can tell us?"

"Indeed," Doctor said, "the more you know about a problem, the easier it is to solve. The better we understand Trixie's infatuation, the more likely we'd be able to help, don't you think?" Shining nodded in agreement more than curiosity. Honest.

"Hm." Blueblood glanced toward the library. "Alright, but it's a bit of a long story and I'd rather not risk her sneaking up on us. Let's head back."

---

The little red wagon burst into Sugarcube Corner, Trixie having managed to at least right herself enough to be sitting in an upright position, as the whole room shouted "SURPRISE!!"

That Trixie had been told there would be a party would have diminished the effect, but the state of the room was still rather eye-opening. Streamers, balloons, snack tables, confetti, foals' games, and more. It was the picture of a foal's birthday party in everything but a colorful ca-No, wait, I think I see one... Trixie stepped out of the wagon in as dignified a manner as she could manage before asking what had been on her mind since the foals with the wagon first showed up. "Can anypony tell Trixie what exactly is going on here?"

Her answer came in the form of a large, pink, fluffy ball rolling towards her from within the crowd, stopping at her hooves, and unfolding into a brightly grinning pony. "HI! I'm Pinkie Pie and I threw this party just for you!"

Trixie nodded slowly. It was about time somepony recognized her talents enough to celebrate them, but having her foalnapped by... well, foals, first was just senseless. "You could have just sent Trixie a normal invitation, you know."

Pinkie giggled. "Yea, but then it wouldn't be a SURPRISE party!" She blew on one of those fold-out party horn things, the edge dancing centimeters from Trixie's snout. "I heard you were a magician and magicians do magic, but not like normal unicorn magic or we'd call everypony with a horn a magician and then they'd technically have a job the moment they were born and never have a chance to earn their cutie marks, not to mention the illegal foal labor that would create in the entertainment industry!" She paused to take a breath, then immediately started up again. "So, I figured if you do the other kind of magic, you probably do a lot of stuff that relies on surprise, which rhymes!" She began pronking in place. "Ooh! That surprised me just now, do you think-"

"Wait," Trixie interrupted, not paying any mind to whether or not it mattered that the foals having told her it was a party before she arrived kind of undermined the 'surprise' part, an eyebrow raised, "you never actually saw Trixie's performance?"

She giggled some more. It was like this pony was ticklish to words. "Nope! Maybe you could do some tricks for us, though? I mean, a lot of ponies have party tricks and you do tricks for a living, so I figure you've gotta have the trickiest party tricks for party-tricking that ever tricked a party! It's even right there in your name, so I thought I might bring out the Welcome Wagon, but you already have a wagon, whether or not it's for welcome depending whether you let ponies in often."

Trixie tried to get a word in edge-wise, if only to stop the onslaught of inanity for a few seconds, but was quickly washed away by the start of another wave.

"Actually, since you're the one traveling, would it be a reverse welcome-wagon? Not necessarily a goodbye-wagon, just a hey-here-I-am-at-a-new-place wagon, which calls for welcome. HEY, maybe it is a welcome wagon after all! Is that on purpose? Because if so it's a great trick! I don't know if it's as funny at parties, but we're at a party right now and I think it's pretty funny, so-"

"Uhm, P-Pinkie?" A yellow pegasus interrupted.

OH, THANK CELESTIA, thought Trixie, I thought I was going to have to shut her up myself! She couldn't think how, apart from perhaps making her mouth disappear somehow.

Pinkie turned to her, grin no less vibrant. "Hey, Fluttershy! Do you know any good wagon tricks?"

Fluttershy's face faded slightly in her own mane. "N-no... I-I wanted to ask if you've seen the girls, weren't they supposed to be here too?"

Her mouth formed a little "o" before she nodded twice. "Righty-tighty, Flutter-butter! Those three helped out a lot with this party, so it's only fair they should get to enjoy it too! I'll go look for 'em!" And with that, she pronked around the room, eyes quickly scanning every which way before she hopped straight over Trixie's head, -hat and all- and out the door.

Fluttershy was silently proud of herself. There, social interaction initiated by me, and it only took a minute to be noticed that time! Guess that means I can go home and-

"So," Trixie stated in Fluttershy's direction, breaking her out of her thoughts, "this is all to celebrate Trixie's greatness?" She scratched the back of her head, eyes mostly obscured under the rim of her hat when she did. "Trixie was, uh, distracted when the host explained things." Distracted trying to hold onto her sanity, but no need to say as much.

Paralyzed with indecision for a few seconds as to whether to do her best to answer the question or flee out the nearest window, Fluttershy steeled herself. Today she would be brave! "W-well," she whispered, bravely, "Pinkie's parties are kindof a regular thing, everypony usually enjoys them, s-so-"

Trixie grinned a little, a plan forming in her head. "Everypony? Every resident of Ponyville?"

"Uhm... Y-yes...?"

"Perfect, thank you." She trotted towards a nearby table for a drink. All she had to do was wait and Prince Blueblood would most likely show up here! And if not, she could do with a rest, and she knew where he lived anyway. Perfect plan! Walking past three ponies of no readily apparent importance, Trixie paid no attention to their conversation.

"Wait," Rose said, ears directed at her pink friend, "what were they saying?"

Lily shrugged lightly. "I-I'm not really sure, I could only hear a little of the conversation, but it sounded like they were discussing, uhm..." The color of Lily's fur usually went a long way towards hiding a blush, for which she was very much thankful. "F-fillyfriends?"

"Oooh?" Daisy cooed, grinning. "Details!"

"W-well... I heard something like 'Didn't you-something-her-something once?' and he shouted back 'of course!'"

Rose and Daisy had a rare moment of reacting the same way, eyes wide and faces reddening, even speaking in unison. "Oh, my!"

Lily couldn't help taking this as some kind of error on her part, quickly backpedaling. "I-I mean, I might have heard wrong, it was hard to tell with them going so fast, I don't-"

"Wait," Daisy said, holding up a hoof, "you said this was maybe ten minutes ago, I thought you were busy taking care of some business before the party?"

"Uh-"

"Yea," Rose chimed in, "you told us to go on ahead and that you'd catch up. What were you doing?"

'Watching him' would have been exactly the wrong thing to say. "I-I-"

Daisy's eyes twinkled. "I think I can guess~!"

"I WASN'T-"

Rose tilted her head a little, looking at Daisy. "What?"

"Strudel."

"Strudel?"

Daisy nodded, Lily's sense of impending humiliation fading. "Strudel. She was probably picking one up on the way here." She winked once at Lily. "You've taken a shine to certain apple pastries recently, right?"

Once again, she was grateful for her fur color. "R-right."

Meanwhile, Trixie stood staring at a certain item on the snack table, quietly wondering if it was staring back at her. What is the apple-lobster thing doing here?! She quickly glanced about the room, for some reason not wanting to look away from it for too long, and noticed nopony else seemed bothered by the irrational arrangement of sliced apples. Even seeing that, it didn't creep her out any less.

"You're allowed to have a slice, you know. Several, even."

It should be noted now that the Great and Powerful Trixie fears nothing, not even voices from behind her while being stared at by bizarre creatures made of chopped up fruit, and as such would not jump in fright, emitting a quiet, high-pitched squeak if such a thing were to occur. That is all.

The speaker chuckled. "My apologies if I startled you darling, but I'm faintly familiar with the feeling of not wanting to dismantle edible artwork, to have one's cake or eat it, no?" Her voice turned faintly wistful. "My little sister helped to assemble the apple-slice crustacean and I just haven't the will to undo her efforts, you know?"

Turning to face her, Trixie couldn't help staring for just a few, scant seconds at her incredibly curly, shiny, purple mane. Not that she was the least bit jealous. At all. "Right. And you are?"

"Rarity, and may I say that's an interesting ensemble? I wouldn't normally suggest baby blue and cream yellow on medium purple, but it projects the visage of the night sky rather nicely."

Trixie blinked slowly.

She kept a friendly smile. "I like your wardrobe."

"Oh! Yes," Trixie grinned, one hoof and her snout raised in equal proportion in a haughty pose, "Trixie's fashion sense is second to none!" Nor was her ability to find outfits suitable for a starting stage magician in bargain bins, but there was no need to say that.

With her own closed, it was hard to notice the gleam in Rarity's eyes. "So I see! I've heard about a spell of yours that transmogrified your attire into a wedding dress, as well?" She continued before Trixie could reply. "An outstanding application of magic, to be sure, but I can't help feel it misses something..."

Trixie looked at her with a challenging eyebrow raised, feeling the faintest hint of an insult in that last part. "What?"

Rarity kept smiling, her tone gentle, but firm. "A wedding dress is to be worn on the happiest day of a mare's life, is it not? A day you would wish to remember forever?" The reply was a slow, uncertain nod. "And it would be difficult to reminisce with a dress that no longer exists, don't you think?"

Trixie hadn't really thought that far ahead. "W-well, it-"

Rarity grinned a little wider, tone almost melodious. "As it happens..." She levitated a glass by the punch bowl and filled it to appear nonchalant. "I head the local business of style and good taste; Carousel Boutique! I'm sure I could make you a dress like no other, perhaps even a charming suit for the groom as well!"

Trixie beamed, all of this sounded more befittingly extravagant than the simple very Great and Powerful illusion of a wedding dress. She imagined that Prince could cover the expenses once they'd set a date, being the world's most magical unicorn had surprisingly modest pay in the form of bits thrown during and after shows.

Internally giddy at the prospect of her newest sale, and for a wedding, at that! Rarity maintained a calm exterior, taking a drink from her glass to hide an over-eager smile. These things were usually best followed with small talk, so as not to appear as some bit-hungry fashion shark. "So," she ventured, "how did you meet the lucky colt?"

She regaled Rarity with her fond memories of the night they met, but for some reason the fashionista did a spit-take when she got to the part where they shared their names. This caught the attention of three other mares, who had been discussing Prince and another colt just minutes before. She forced a grin, an eye twitching once. "I-I'm sorry darling, what did you say his name was...?"

Trixie grinned, all too pleased to recite it again. "Trixie's Future Husband, The Pony With Amazing Azure Eyes, Alabaster Angel of Canterlot, Most Eligible Bachelor in-"

Rarity managed to keep a slightly creepy grin, speaking through gritted teeth. "Prince Blueblood?"

Why doesn't anypony let me finish my list of titles? I work hard on those, darnit! "Yes, him."

Rarity's voice grew colder than the punch, and it looked uncannily like she was glaring for some reason. "Please excuse me..."

And then she walked off. Trixie shrugged, she had made a friend! Maybe Pinkie Pie's idea was working after all. As if to reinforce her thoughts, three more ponies approached.

"Hey," Rose began, "We saw Rarity storm off a second ago, what were you two talking about?" Daisy and Lily stood at her sides, looking quietly inquisitive.

Levitating a punch glass that wasn't part of a high-velocity-mouth-liquid comedy routine, Trixie chuckled with delight. "Trixie and the local seamstress were discussing a marvelous wedding dress for the official ceremony!" Taking a sip, it occurred to her in that instant that she would likely need flower ponies, and these three seemed just the sort... "Say, how would you three like to hear how Trixie came to be a future princess?"

The three nodded for varying reasons between the three of them, from wanting to know exactly where that relationship stood to genuine curiosity.

Author's Note:

Silly Shiny, Demagify was for magic!

Trixie might be crazy enough to think being chained to her object of affection is a good thing, but she'd almost certainly change her mind eventually. However, Prince doesn't know that.

Comments

[ShadowLDrago]

"Are you going to say anything besides 'nope'?!"
He grinned ear to ear. "Nope!"

OK, that is funny!

[djthomp]

Even though it eventually failed, I think Mac's plan was my favorite once we saw it in practice.

She was immediately shoved into the wagon from behind by the white unicorn and an orange pegasus. "Cutie Mark Crusader Pony Retrieval Squad, YAAAAY!!" Pushed by three fillies at once, the wagon sped off toward Sugarcube Corner before it's passenger could so much as utter a complaint.

Well that happened.

You know, the idea that Pinkie might use the CMC for stuff like getting ponies to their surprise parties is just a tiny bit scary.

[MeadowRosePony]

Are they playing the pony equivalent to yugioh?

[KiaraGate]

I am in total support of the Lily and Shining ship for this universe, it brought such a smile to me in the original story.