• Published 9th Apr 2012
  • 2,312 Views, 31 Comments

A Tail of Woods The Careless Creature - ForestOfSpring



Woods has everything going for him, until he gets sent into equestia by a crazy old man.

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First Impressions

"GET US OUTTA HERE! "

I whipped my head round to the sound of cries and toppling trees. 'Those quadrupeds always bring trouble with them, why can't they just leave this place alone?' I huffed, got to my feet and leapt from my branch into the commotion.


-Dash's POV-

Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh this isn't happening!

We ran through the wall of shrubbery that strung the trees together. Me and scoots were wandering over to Zecora's to get a remedy for Wing-lock that we were suffering from.

Too much practice, if that term even meant anything.

The canopy suddenly became silent, not a peep from above, just the sound of clicking in the distance drawing closer. Then it pounced, a HUGE centipede with ridiculously long legs and a mean set of fangs lumbered over a tree and shot straight for us. Scoots wasn't injured but I wasn't so lucky. It clipped my left wing, stretching the gash all the way to my tail.

That. Freakin. Hurt.

That was it, we took off back the way we came, towards the edge of the Everfree. Don't ask me why we did but when you're running from a huge freakin monster in a creepy forest, you just wanna go home to where everything makes sense. Geez, at least the manticore we saw was cute and cuddly when it wasn't cranky. This thing just wanted us strung and served raw.

We were at full gallop now, the canopy was thinning out meaning we were nearing the edge of the forest, but that didn't for a second slow us down, fair enough we knew Ponyville, a small advantage. On the other hand, as soon as we get out of the forest, that thing is gonna have us and... hundreds of... other ponies... in its sights.

...Pony feathers...

I guess this is it, I can take a dive and while it's got me Scoots can run back to Ponyville, tell all her friends about me and my sacrifice. I feel pretty good, the Wonderbolts will have to wait for another mare as awesome as m-

CRASH!

It sped out the bushes straight for the Chinotaur's head, no wings, just leapt out of nowhere and latched it's claws onto it's ebony smooth exoskeleton. It twisted, swinging it's read legs over its body in a somersault motion, claws still clamped firmly on the gap in the beast's armour. I couldn't believe it. This creature wasn't small, probably nearly twice as tall as me when on all fours, but to the Chinotaur, it looked like an apple hanging on a tree, a star swimming in the black night ocean beside the whale that is Luna's moon. Despite this, it continued it's rolling motion in the air, flexed it's front legs, and brought the entire over-sized insect with it, curling the behemoth of a monster over it's head before releasing it's claws, sending the beast sailing towards a huge oak over a hundred feet away.

We stopped. The creature landed on it's hind legs with a stiff slide, securing it's landing before leaping over in our direction, stopping right before us, facing towards the Chinotaur's crumpled mess. Up close I could see it's features more clearly. It was garbed in a brown shirt, a hood hanging behind with a matching pair of pants that hugged the centre of it's torso, flaring out at the bottom in torn ribbons and stopping half-way down it's calfs. It had a long wavy mane that looked dirty, clumps of it were caked in scary amounts of blood causing strands to become clumped together and weighed down. It's muzzle... Well it didn't have one, it's mouth looked as if it was painted directly onto it's face. It was creepy but it wasn't ugly for some reason, it's lips we're soft-looking, the top lip was slightly more pronounced than the the bottom and was bow-shaped. It's eyes we're sharp and bright, holding a focus that was rarely seen on the eyes of the royal guards, yet they were also soft, they seemed to regard everything carefully, the same way one regards freshly-laid snow. They looked upon the world with beauty, cherishing everything, taking in all it had to offer and leaving none to spare. Geez, if only this guy could fly, doubt it, he didn't have wings yet he did have a tail. It hung from his lower back, spouting from a small rip in the back of his pants and curled up and back over like a monkey.

This creature, whatever it was, stood there, it's hind legs bent in an open stance like it was prepared to fight. Mental facehoof alert... The way the light shone through the canopy, bouncing off it's cheekbones, it's muscles.

It looked like a god.

So... AWESOME!!!

"GET OUT OF HERE NOW!" it turned to us and shouted, waving its arms in the direction of Ponyville, a troubled look on his features (or what I thought he looked) played urgency but his eyes were calm, soft, even... Happy? It couldn't be. That monster was at least fifty times it's size and it was CALM?! Oh by the way, it was getting up again.

"Come on Scoots!" we didn't waste any time, turning tail and running home. I hope that creature gets out okay,
it can't be dangerous if it helped us get away. Oh great now I'm worrying about it when I should be getting Scoots back.

****

We arrived back in Ponyville, greeted by our crystal clear skies and pastel colours, untouched by the horrors we just left. Celestia knows what would have happened if that thing... no... thing sounds too rough for a creature like that... maybe... if that stranger hadn't shown up.

Scoots took off soon after we reached the clearing, probably headed to the clubhouse to tell the CMC what just happened. I think I'd better head over to Twilight's, she'll know how to contact Zecora without us having to go back in there for a while. Why is it I keep worrying about him? It must be a he, it sure sounded like a he... Would be cool if it was a she though, even if they had a deep voice... I'm daydreaming aren't I?

ANYWAY it's off to Twilight's. Just pray to Celestia that the stranger is OK...

-??? POV-

"Right, NOW I totally need a bath."

Taking down that over-grown stack of legs was a piece of cake to be honest. It relied on it's size to overpower really small prey and make a quick snack before resuming it's never-ending hunt. That's what makes it dangerous...

It's always hungry.

Ah well, it's not like I can eat it, it's meat is quite poisonous plus it's rather runny, a bit like a runny bogey, bleugh! It's exoskeleton could come in handy but I can't use it for armour, it's way too heavy to be practical and it's durability is questionable, I mean I managed to punch through it so if a hydra decided to drop in...

...yeah...

I just made it into a temporary shelter, snapping individual segments off and placing them in an almost complete circle, finishing by draping a water-proof quilt over the top. It worked rather well, the segments of the exoskeleton were about 5 ft long so I had a lot of room for my head and I could move about freely enough. Now for the camo. Just dropping some leaves over the top of the quilt and moving two fallen trees in the way of the skeleton walls. The rest was hidden in a rock formation so the camp was almost completely concealed, just a few willow branches shrouded the entrance to my little temporary home.

Boy I miss my video games.

I used to love playing Legend of Zelda, Majora's Mask especially, so every time I got the chance I'd try something new like trying to complete the four areas in the three days or try and go through the game with only three heart containers and a bog-standard sword. Always a new challenge.

I started thinking about the two ponies I encountered with the Chinotaur. There was the small orange one, probably female judging by the voice and the adolescent curved features. In human years maybe 12/13? She was terrified but the other... She was larger, cyan coat and a rainbow streaked mane, almost like the rainbow on a clear sky. That one looked older, refined, athletic build, slender and larger wings to boot. There's no wonder the Chinotaur went after them if that blue disco pony is trotting round the forest, she'll be spotted a mile off!

URGH! You'd think they'd learn, I mean they live right next to this bloody forest, why not learn to survive in it? That voodoo zebra Zecora is doing just fine! And she goes for evening strolls!

Even I don't have that kind of balls! That bitch is insane. Don't get me wrong I mean, she is really nice, speaking in rhymes and she does give me herbs and remedies to the poisons and diseases from this place (trust me, get bit by a timber wolf and you might as well have injected yourself with a whole lot of AIDS). I usually work for her, collecting wild plants or flowers as ingredients for her mixtures. From what I hear she doesn't need most of it, it's mainly for experimenting or practicing ratios or something. The rest is either ordered from the local stores in Ponyville (the spa apparently has huge orders for the poison joke bath) or it's stored for future use. Those ones are packed with preservatives and handed to Twilight or the bakers (YEAH! Even they put funny stuff in their sweets the sneaky bastards).

After wrapping up in my manticore-skin blanket, I nodded slowly off to a restful sleep, despite the growls from an empty stomach.

... Meh, I'll look for something tomorrow.

*****


The sun rose over the canopy of the forest, like an orchestra signalling the rise of birdsong, always a nice thing to wake up to. Well if it weren't for them then I'd keep my lazy arse in bed, back home I would god forbid. I'm guessing by now that you've figured out that I'm from earth. You'd be right, I'm from England to be exact, a small town on the east coast called Hartlepool. It's... satisfactory. Well it ain't Miami if that's what you're thinking. It has a balanced ratio of rainy and sunny days, usually having one week sunny and the other miserable. Other than that the temperature doesn't change all that much, the sea air means that during the winter it doesn't get too cold and in the summer a breeze is always swirling round town. One word that can describe it perfectly...

Dull.

I'm from an average family, the eldest of five boys with both parents. Dad usually goes off to work around the country as a project manager on various building sites. Mainly schools to be honest. The last big project he had was in Bermuda rebuilding one of the hotels that a hurricane had recently tore down. That was a good year, we all shipped over to the island and got tons of free service, went swimming with dolphins, scuba diving, shark fishing, surfing, lizard hunting and checking out the weekly festivals.

Best damn holiday ever.

Well that was before... Urgh... a freaky old man with uneven teeth came to me one night on the way home and asked me if I would take the chance to go on a trip, completely free, no degrees or qualifications required. Well obviously I politely told him I had other plans but he was persistent so I dismissed him saying that I would take it but I had responsibilities back at home. He smiles, shakes my hand and the next thing you know a freakin plane drops out of nowhere on me and here I am.

With a tail...

Not that I'm complaining about the tail. It took some getting used to but overall it's quite useful, it acts like a sort of third arm, grabbing or holding things while I use my front hands to mess with other stuff (not that stuff you dirty men) and I can hang from branches with it. It also helps me when I need to sleep in the trees, wrapping round the trunk instinctively so I don't randomly roll off into a thirty foot drop. It's rather fun and awesome, looking cute but badass at the same time. When I get home I hope I can keep it.

Well after clearing up my stuff, I set off to Zecora's place to pick up some more supplies. The Chinotaur meat had gotten all over me and I needed a disinfectant from the scratches, although I'm sure my immune system is working at full rate now.

Then a bath, defo need a wash. I could never stand going more than two days without a shower. Now I could only have one every week. Sad face.

Leaping from branch to branch I made my way to the hut, it wasn't hard to find, the aroma of different brews spilled over the forest so all I had to do was follow my nose. It eventually came into view so I dropped down directly in front of the door and gave a rhythmic knock.

Aye she loves me this weird ass zebra, she was at the door in under three seconds! Beaming at me she stepped aside to let me in which I thanked her for and entered, not before wiping my feet on the mat I made her. " What a treat for you to show, this time of year the fireflies glow. It's good to have your company, the dancing off the fireflies we shall see." Zecora trotted into her storage and returned carrying a jar in her maw, looking at me expectantly. " Thanks Zecora but I'm only here for some disinfectant, a Chinotaur got me yesterday after going after two ponies."

The striped mare paused "Two ponies you say you saved? I'm sure they'll keep your dept repaid. You say of course there were two, so excuse me for I wonder who?". I thought for a second, giving the details to Zecora about the two mares I found in the forest. She was silent, staring at me intently with a look of knowing in her eyes, she must recognise the two. "This is Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash, for why they were here I must surely ask".

Rainbow... Bust have been the blue one, well I hope they're OK so I asked Zecora if she could take me into Ponyville to check on them, maybe if Zecora was with me then they wouldn't freak out...

Maybe...

Anyways, I got the disinfectant, applied it and set off with Zecora down the path to Ponyville. We had little worry as we were both sporting some form of camouflage, lessening the risks of a predator attack. Still didn't stop me from keeping one eye and one ear out for trouble on the way there. Zecora... Wasn't so careful. "Judging from the red bird's tune, at Ponyville, we'll be arriving soon". She trotted happily beside me, hooves pattering softly on the grassy trail.

I wasn't convinced, Zecora was never one for hiding things but something was off. She was extremely giddy today along with friendly, not her usual calm and collected self. That's the reason we get on so well, I like to think that I'm quite tolerant and understanding, with a little bit of craziness on the side. Takes a bit of sugar to send me off then BOOM! I'm doing all kinds of crazy pranks and stuff. It's fun if you don't count the crash later. Worth it.

The forest seemed to glow today. Not the usual sunny patch here or there, I mean genuinely GLOW. You know those days that are just extra sunny? Like you get up and look out to see the huge celestial body resting softly on the horizon, the morning dew on the grass lights up like the crystals on a chandelier, the water has an almost unnatural flow, the wildlife are rolling around in the leaves, demented by this exceptional glow that covers the land like liquid happiness. That was today, e drying just seemed, refreshing, like things were gonna go my way for once which is about time! I've been smacked up too much recently so I think I deserve a cupcake today. I'll give one to Zecora as well, she looks like she's in the mood... I hope she's not in heat...

*****

We eventually reached the edge of the forest, coming to a clearing. My first thought was: okay, Zecora gave me something, and now I'm tripping! Brilliant... There's a little cottage over there that looks like something from snow-freakin white and there's woodland creatures going in and out of that thing like the arcades back home. In the distance there's a small town, which has even More trippy colours.

Geez I hope this ends well...