If I've entertained just one person, I've done my part.
The Caprica. At one time, an impressive piece of technology for humanity. Originally built for peace; retrofitted for war. But now, Marcus is all that remains of the human race after a hostile alien invasion, and he uses the only life he's ever known to escape his captors. Making a blind jump to unknown space, his skills as a pilot, and as a man in uniform, will be put to the test.
Rated teen for language and some adult situations.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Please, do a bit of research before writing technobabble. If you'd like I can rewrite it so you don't borrow so many terms from Halo.
That said, well done at catching my attention from a list that isn't popular or featured. This looks like it'll be great and I'm glad you already have two chapters up.
...Yeah, mark this with a "Crossover" tag. Unless you want to change the terminology to not exactly match Halo.
4606676 I tried, but chose to go with some terms that people would be familiar with (hopefully) and could easily recognize without having to go into wordy explanations of everything.
This is my second attempt at a fic. I have a rough outline of the way I'm wanting things to go already. And I'm more comfortable and more aware of the way I write.
4606707 You'll want this, in that case.
use terms from various different things (and not just the Avengers) -- replace "slipspace" with "hyperspace", whatever you called your Shaw-Fujikawa engines with "warp drives", etc. It just sounds like a secret Halo cross, with the Covenant replaced by the Driden.
Oh, and don't take that as me disliking the story. I can't wait for more. I just wish the words weren't all from Halo.
If you want an editor, do give me a ring. I'd love to help.
Sorry for the double post. I accidentally deleted my comment instead of editing it and mindlessly hit "confirm".
4606734 Oh, yeah. I never got that vibe from you at all, and I do appreciate the feedback. I'll keep that in mind and try to vary it up here in the future.
*grumbles*
I already had this idea in my head... you just beat me to the punch!
Definitely following this. *hopes for frequent updates*
I never played Halo, so I can't complain about being heavily reminded of it, thus the terminology is fine for me. However, I did expect BS:G terminology, and was a little surprised when slipstream came up (personally I felt reminded of Andromeda, simply because it's the only thing I actively connect to slipstream). If the SSDS already decided to copy a Battlestar, they might as well have called it FTL-Drive (though of course the jumping technology could be - and most likely is - older than the Battlestar idea). But as I said, I don't mind the terminology.
There's one thing that I find odd: Des' behavior as a (military) AI. Why is she bothering with consoles? The hologram makes sense for human interaction, but I really don't see a reason why an AI should bother with looking at screens while she is able to access the systems directly like a program usually would. Actually, I can think of one reason: The computers aren't networked (Hello Galactica!), and she actually doesn't have direct access to it, but in this universe there doesn't seem a reason to take this handicap, and from the sound of it so far, the Caprica is in fact fully networked. With that being my biggest complaint, and it still being quite a small one, I can only say: Good work so far.
Regarding editing, I'd like to offer my services as well. I haven't written any fan-fics (though I have started several), but have experience with text-based roleplaying (and thus, belletristic writing) and simply love discussing possible story outlines. That's usually more fun than actually writing it out, which is the reason why I don't have any fanfics to show off.
Also, four eyes see more than two. Between NewKid and me, it should be possible to get the vast majority of mistakes out. If you want the help, that is^^
Greetings,
Syron
4606864 I'll def keep you and NewKid in mind when it comes to editing. I'd love to have a couple of extra brains to run it by before publication.
4606864 Imagine how creepy it'd be if she didn't. The AI is most likely networked, but takes the time (when possible) to appear to look at the console, to reduce the chance of subconscious distrust and jealousy.
4606882 Woohoo!
4606929
Simulation of human behavior or not, everybody knowing she's an AI would know that she is much more efficient at controlling the ship than any group of humans could ever be. That she does create the illusion of inefficiency keeps most from actively thinking about it, but subconsciously they would have the same doubts about her taking control of the ship and turning against them for some reason. The most importent thing to remedy this is probably to make it clear in her behavior that she subjects to the humans, or at least the highest ranking ones. And provide a way of shutting her down.
I would be as a surprised as I was here to see an AI handling consoles, especially in a combat situation like we had in this case. But I had another idea why it is in fact helpful: It shows she's working, executing the commands given to her. Normally, most of her actions would be completely invisible, and I imagine that would get people to ask "You're working on it, right?", which is of course a source of inefficiency that should be avoided. With that, I have nothing against Des working the consoles anymore (as long as that behavior is only a simulation, and not the way she actually works).
4606882
Grats on the feature!
Well, this is an interesting...idea, just hope it don't get abandoned like so many other.
Totally peaked my interest. I am excited to see what happens next.
Another thing to remember about AI is that we don't have it yet. Yes, I know I'm stating the obvious, but it's the buttress to the point I'm about to make.
When steam locomotives were new, it was 'common knowledge' that they would blow up, and that humans couldn't survive at speeds over 35 MPH anyway. But once they'd been around a while, they were just 'trains'.
When automobiles were new (before Henry Ford), they were 'hideous demonstrations of obscene wealth', wouldn't catch on because they'd scare the horses, and nobody could make a living off of supplying just fuel to the things. But once Ford's Model T came out, and after, they were just cars, and part of Western life.
Now computer AI's are still relatively new, and little more than advancements of 'Eliza'. Everyone 'knows' that they could go berserk and take over the world, or would seek to destroy the imperfect beings known as human. By the time they become commonplace, an AI like Des would be just another crewmember whose body happened to be the ship they're on. You wouldn't ask your friend Diana if her heart rate was around 70 bpm unless she had health problems, would you?
4606971 That's what I was trying to get at. If you provide some sort of visual evidence that the AI is doing what you say and make it appear to be no more powerful than a human, it puts minds at ease. It makes the thought of the AI disobeying that much harder to think, which in turn means that the AI is better trusted and easier to work with. Of course, if necessary, she doesn't need to fiddle with the instruments -- and when she does, it's always perfectly precise -- but it helps humans. Everyone would be consciously surprised, and subconsciously comforted.
Featured! 6/27
You guys are great. I'm loving the feedback and the discussion.
Good story.
Keep going.
4607482
I agree with you, eventually people will just get used to AI and it's capabilities, which includes AIs behaving like a computer: doing everything in its internal circuits without bothering with the GUI. But there's a transition phase in which the "getting used to" happens, and in that phase it can be expected that AIs are made to simulate human behavior to be more comfortable. That will carry over, and probably never be fully dismissed (though AIs not doing it will definitely appear in time), so TheKid's argument still stands, though the original reason might be already gone for humanity in this time (meaning they were already so used to it that it didn't actually matter anymore).
I want to address the point of dangers that you brought up. Certainly, when it comes to AI, the scenario is with the AI as the troublemaker more often than not, and in the end it might just seep into daily life without the fact being actively recognized by the people. But that we tend to expect the worst, or at least try to find out what bad things could happen, might be the very reason why it doesn't happen in the first place. The fact is, there is a danger to AI: If a networking AI gets internet connection, without having a failsafe shutdown hardcoded in it, we simply couldn't delete it. The internet would need to be turned off, and every single computer has to be wiped clean. Theoretically possible, but not actually doable.
My point is: With all the thought we already put into it (there are at least two organisations that research AI safety, probably many more) it's quite likely that nothing big happens. But if a mistake happens, it's so much morse than a car exploding.
*your
I'm not sure Mark's actions are really making any sense. Setting up a strobe light on his space ship to signal the alien creatures on the planet below and just waiting for a message back (in orbit) from what he perceves to be a pre-industrial civilization... A message that he may or may not be able to understand...
If he was dealing with any other race, he'd probably end up frightfully bored.
Still liking the fic though.
4607845
The likelihood that he ends up bored is high, that's right. But even if he doesn't get a reply, it might already be helpful if his signal was seen. Give them a wave before approaching them, so that they don't have to face all of the surprise at once. Besides, he already knows about some mysterious energy, and that throws any guesses to the wind. Better be careful, and if it doesn't work, he can still land later. I'd say it's the most sensical course of action he could take.
I am freaking GLAD I put this to read later. Interesting to no ends to me. By the stars make more and I will absolutly pelt you with good vibes.
Have a like and a fav from me!
A random and blind jump you say? Already makes me think of Halo lol.
4608158
It makes me think of Robert Heinlein's "Starman Jones", which predates Halo by at least four decades. (No I didn't read it when it first came out.)
4608074 I want some good vibes
yes...
THAT'S IT STARRUNNER!!! YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED IN THE COMENT SECTION TILL... well... you know...
Something to do with hormones?
Now... WRITE FASTER!!!
Geez StarChaser, you're almost as bad as StarRunner over there...
Yah, but at least I'm keeping it below PG-13...
Good point
Now... take a like and a favorite...
From all of us!
will see where this goes, but it looks good
I don't understand what the last two sentences are supposed to mean. As though they could guess the exact time that the 'ship' would sleep.
And, apparently, they are either blind to the fact that the ship would normally have more than one occupant or they know that there is only one occupant, which makes no sense. Or they guessed that it has one occupant, which is a terrible guess to make.
Then there's the fact that Twilight immediately recognized it or identified it as a space going vessel, without freaking out or questioning herself.
Frankly, the last two sentences, unless you're going for a bumbling princesses type story, should be removed as they make no logical sense.
you have my interest meester author now pleez continue,
or i vill set pinkie on you!!!
That's not very smart IMHO.
Burning bridges, and puting all eggs into one basket and all that. Nope.
Drop some colonies here and there if possible and always have some means of escape....
EDIT.
Well 2nd chapter puts some snags into this plan as it seems it is a one man mission
This reads a hell of a lot better than just a second fic.
If your quality keep up you will have one hell of a story and I cant wait to see what happens.
“Mission accomplish, Mom.”
-accomplished
Hmmm, less technobable would be nice as mentioned, Hollywood's space effect was kind of jarring for me- everything is so very very close - spaceships fly in sea galleons distances, you randomly drop to other 'verse and you are less than 3 light-days from inhabitated planet
http://joshworth.com/dev/pixelspace/pixelspace_solarsystem.html
AI interactions and drama were not very covincing, and at the end plot kind of skipped forward a little too fast .
4608939 I believe the reason for that was that there weren't enough humans alive in the fleet to successfully start more than one colony.
Each colony's genepool would simply be too small to avoid some serious damage to the next generations.
MOAR! (pls)
4608875
I'm pretty sure it means that Luna is going to go into his dreams.
Execution is pretty good on this one. I see some complaints of terminology, which I guess bug those guys... I don't play Halo so I wouldn't know. Not a problem for me. Looking forward to more.
You probably want to drop the crossover tag or everyone will think this is a Galactica universe crossover.
I like the premise, but since it is only one person humanity is fucked, because they can't... Fuck.
4606676 yeah. And that far into the future radio would be way outdated for communication. The most likely communication tech would be something relating to quantum entanglement. I don't know if quantum information teleportation is instant or not, but it wouldn't ever be jammed or intercepted and the information would be perfect. Another thing is because of superposition you can pack so much information into each teleportation that even though each teleportation destroys the other as long as you had a two way link of trillions of particles you would never run out. But this is assuming new laws if physics are not discovered.
4606700
4609236
What? Now I'm confused.
Is this a Battlestar: Galactica crossover or not? (I haven't read it yet.)
4609596
This is an original sci-fi HiE.
There are technical terms borrowed from Halo but the only connection to Battlestar Galactica is meta in that the creators of the ship were inspired by the BSG TV series. This is explained in paragraph 3 of chapter 1.
Since neither the Halo nor BSG universes tangibly exist in conjunction with this one, this is not a crossover.
4606707 Could you have at least picked a game's tech to copy that wasn't unrealistic with technology and physics and the progress of humanity with tech? Another thing, for someone who had his whole species wiped out he seems pretty laid back and chill when he was hailed by the bad aliens. That's like if you were a Jew who lost everything and met Hitler, times a million. How mad would you be? Oh and going sublight and making it to Equestria in three days? At 100% light speed going for three days is about 77,760,000,000 kilometers. A light year is about 7.5 X10^14. Alpha Centari is about four lights years away (The nearest neighbors). Sub light speed would be much slower than that. How close did the ship jump near Equestria? The main problem IMO in all SCFI space stuff is how they jump and appear in an area where the stars are traveling at a differnt velocity because of the star traveling around the galaxy, while the galaxy zips by in its local group while the local group travels as well. The planets around them would appear to be going so fast that getting into orbit would be almost impossible. I'm talking Percentages of the speed of light here. Like maybe 1% at max. The reason this isn't a problem with none jump/slip space or whatever is conservation of momentum. Acceleration and deceleration is still a problem though, very tricky.
Anyways, sorry you had to hear me ramble. This doesn't really have anything to do with your story, just scifi in general.
I do like this idea so far and will follow.
More of this please. Keep up the good work!
I can already tell this will be very interesting.... I have not yet read the first chapter yet so let me get to that.
Want more already.
I just want to alert you on something, he needs to wear a suit when he makes planetfall.
Why? A simple and obvious fact every Sci-Fi story usually misses. Bacteria, since this is a new world it means there are bacteria that will be harmful to humans because they don't have any anti-bodies for them.
Don't be the Cliché story and add this small feature.
4607664 ...who in their right mind would downvote that comment?
4609596 Notice the dates. When I said that, he was using a shitton of Halo terms -- like, exclusively Halo -- and there was no tag. I didn't realize that it would make it seem like a crossover for the wrong series.