• Member Since 6th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Alex Warlorn


Just your average Brony who happened upon an idea that might actually turn out to be clever enough for guys to love.


T

Well, the Nightmare Forces kidnapped Rarity, they broke her, and then were going to possess her right? What if Rarity absorbed them instead? She's still a powerful Nightmare, she looks even more beautiful than she did as a flesh and blood pony, and she just wants to give gifts, spread generosity, and help Equestria's ponies. But first she needs to convince everypony she's not just pretending to be Rarity and isn't evil incarnate. She's convinced Spike . . . now how does she convince the rest of the world?

The Benevolent Reign Of Queen Nightmare Rarity
STORY BY Alex Warlorn and trooper924
Inspired by and SUBVERSION of the Nightmare Arc of the My Little Pony comics.
And fanart by Hellbeholder, used with permission. http://hellbeholder.deviantart.com/art/Nightmare-Rarity-and-her-Spike-404955331

This started out as a simple RP in the comments section inspired by the art seen here.

This story has ZILCH to do with the Pony POV Series universe.

MLP FiM Copyright Hasbro

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 107 )

What if Rarity instead Rarity absorbed them instead?

I'm guessing you made some mistakes here.

I don't know about 'Nighmarity' being all-powerful...

There's a reason the Nightmare went for an alicorn instead of a regular unicorn the first time, you know.

But the drumbeat in his head persisted.

That time Spike was the Master.

sp.yimg.com/ib/th?id=HN.608023711243306144&pid=15.1

:trollestia:

4597851

So what did you think of the story?

4598402

That was added in by Trooper.

Comment posted by Alex Warlorn deleted Jun 25th, 2014

Great story, great idea, but it wouldn't hurt to have a once-over with an editor or someone. Good job though!

4598343

I hated that arc beyond reason. If the Nightmare Forces had really been Luna's own dark side that she was refusing to face, then I wouldn't have minded.

4598343

Or if Rarity had simply been corrupted rather than being possessed, which would have made an interesting 'save her from herself' scenario.

I've always felt the 'Luna possessed' thing completely destroyed any MEANING Luna's redemption had.

4598599

It did have a once over by an editor. :-(

4598593
Haven't had time to read it yet, so so far I think nothing of it ;p
Premise sounds interesting, so added the story to my "read later" list, but since it has more than 700 stories in it already... Expect to hear my opinion sometime close to New Year ;p

You know, despite the fact that a lot of people will bitch at me for it, I wouldn't mind really if the rest of the mane 6 DID end up ascending into alicorns.


...Heck I'm still waiting for the reveal that Pinkie's been one the whole time. :pinkiehappy:

i.imgur.com/4JHfC49.png

Featured. This time I took a screenshot as proof, since it might not end up being there for very long.

Also, I've already shared my thoughts on the original arc over on the Deviantart page (In Luna's case, it WAS her own inner darkness that the Nightmare Forces were just influencing, but since Rarity likely knew deep down that her friends would never abandon her, they had to go for straightforward possession in her case), but this is definitely still a very interesting take on the idea.

Ironically being a nightmare wouldn't have helped berry at all, it would have replaced her Drinking Addiction to an Addiction to the Darkness.

Hooray, more personal responsibility for characters. It's so fun.

Become One With the Stars And Accepted Her Gift

The term changes mid-sentence. In the title of the chapter. That does not exactly leave a good first impression. :fluttershysad:

This is a cute idea but it needs quite a bit of proofreading. I'll check it out in a few days when you will have had a chance to edit.

4599363

Edited. So what did you think of the story?

4599484

Really? I already proof-read it. :-(

4599552 Sometimes it works better if someone else proofreads it. I mean, you're featured which is awesome, but I think it's on the idea more than the readability. I don't mean to sound harsh, and I apologize if I'm coming across like that. I mean, is it "nightmareMoon Tribe" or "Nightmare Tribe," for example... if you want I can take a slash at it.

4599338

Hmm?
4599305

That's one way to look at it.


4599063

Another point on the board.


4599043

I've seen the idea used, but the only problem is in the fanfic I read about, they EVEN BEFORE they became Alicorns, the author turned every station of canon into a curbstomp battle by making the heroes dynamic and the villains static (yes, even DISCORD, who is many things, but static is NEVER one of them).

4599666 Well, is it "Nightmarified Moon Tribe," "nightmarifiedMoon Tribe", "Moon Tribe" with the adjective "nightmarified" thrown in once in a while? I'll go through for spelling and grammar errors in the meantime.

Too bad that this wasn't part of your main universe. Then Luna'd be saying three down, three to go.

4599682

"Moon Tribe" with the adjective "nightmarified" thrown in once in a while.


4599859

You read my main fanon verse?

4600202 Here and there. I know about Princess Gaia at least.

4600202 Were you able to open that link?

Great to see the story getting posted here as well. Long live Queen Nightmarity!:raritystarry:

Princess Luna thought meanwhile, 'Two down, four to go.'

What does this mean?! Is she planning to do something the the Main 6 as soon as all of them are alicorns?! WHAT DO IT MEAN?! :raritydespair:

Still in the feature box. In fact, now you're in slot number two in the non-Mature list.

4600269

Yes. Done. Edited. Thank you very much.

4600599

Since it's past the end of season 3, Twilight has since become an Alicorn herself. That means 4 Elements of Harmony left to reach the Alicorn state.

Sequel? Please? Moar?

4600713

Uh. This story was a RP between me and trooper started spur of the moment in the comments section of the fanart you see. It's fantastic this managed to have a beginning, a middle, and an ending.

I've learned doing sequels for stories you didn't intend to have sequels only leads to misery. Have you checked out my pony pov series? It deals with Alicornification and Nightmarification as one of its later subplots.

4600639 No worries. Good story!

Reiterating my enjoyment of your handling of the characters.

Okay.

Needs an editor still. Timeskip was unfounded, no real meat to it. Wanted to see more depth.

Otherwise, a good attempt at an alternate take on Nightmarity.

This has to be the absolute best story I have ever read on here. Whenever Zecora had a line I read it in her voice, you aced her character. Your story flowed so smoothly. Personally I think you should become a published author with as good as this turned out. I truly think that having Derpy and Trixie become good friends was a stroke of genius. Keep up the good work. An upvote, a favorite and a new follower.

4598611 Well, Luna's redemption in the show happened so fast, it really didn't mean much to begin with.

I wish Lauren had been able to do what she'd wanted and have the NMM story take the entire first season to really flesh out the story and develop the world along with it.

And then they made it worse by having Sunset Satan be redeemed in an even cheesier copy-cat way.

4600968

I liked it. A friend pointed out that Sunset got a taste of what it was Celestia was trying to protect her from.

4601043 Well, except Sunset was pretty happily being evil until she got blasted.

Then she cried and was instantly forgiven.

Laaaaaaaame.

Cracking good story here man. :)

4601197

Buddy pointed out . . . she was crying BEFORE she was blasted. She was crying just before she TFed.

Eh, tribes? Did you get that from Caesor's Legion?

4601374 You wish to know more of The Great Caesor's Legion? Made from a group of wild tribes that eventually formed his legion. Don't you play Fallout, bro?

But the drumbeat in his head persisted.

Login or register to comment