• Member Since 23rd Jun, 2014
  • offline last seen Yesterday

00RaiserGundam


I am a huge Sunset Shimmer fan who thinks she needs to return to Equestria and be forgiven by Princess Celestia.

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Sunset Shimmer, has finally decided to return to Equestria to right all the wrongs that she has done on both sides of the crystal mirror. She is even ready to face whatever punishment Celestia sees fit, no matter how great it is.

Imagine her surprise when she is forgiven AND given another chance to be Celestia's student again.

As she makes amends and hoofs out apologies, she will also make some friends with both old and new faces, including Celestia's adopted son, Lockon Astros.

And little does she realize that, fate has plans for her once again. But this time, she will earn more than just the redemption that she seeks.

(Credit for the cover art goes to SunsetMajka626 who has both a DeviantArt and a Derpibooru account.)

Chapters (12)
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Comments ( 146 )
Comment posted by 00RaiserGundam deleted Jun 25th, 2014
Comment posted by 00RaiserGundam deleted Jun 25th, 2014
Comment posted by 00RaiserGundam deleted Jun 25th, 2014

Dat cover art :heart:

4599260 Techinically I only tried to upload it all in one day yesterday. Ended up having to continue this morning from where I left off last night. Trust me took much longer to write it when I posted this on Fanfiction, and I was adding each new chapter after I finished writing them.

But I thank you for the salute. I only hope this story will attract as much good attention as it got on Fanfiction. Same with my other completed story.

4599260 yep, and look forward to the sequel. Cos in my opinion, it's even better! :raritystarry:

If any of you could recommend this story to anyone you know on Fimfiction, I would very much appreciate it.

Oh I hope that there is a sequel to this story

4600026 Oh, don't worry. There is. And it's already completed.:raritywink:

Also, should I post them one chapter at a time to get more responses, or all at once?

4600089 I think one at a time is best but that's just me

4600096 In that case. I'll try that. By the way, if you could recommend this story to anyone you know on Fimfiction, that'd be great.:pinkiesmile:

4600188 no problem and I hope you check out my stories and to have people you know on fimfiction to look at them as well that would be great

4600213 Well, that might be harder for me, seeing as how I am new to fimfiction. The only people on Fimfiction that I could possibly say that I know are bluecatcinema and Awesomo3000.:applejackunsure:

I can't really make any promises, but I will deifnitely at least see what I can do.:twilightsmile:

4600277 ok that's ok im kind of semi new here and I just have two people I know on fimfiction myself

"Lockon Astros" is the guy's name?

Really?:facehoof:

4600733

I've seen Gundam 00, it's painfully obvious you named him after Lockon Stratos.

To which I must ask: why?:unsuresweetie:

4601147 I wanted to make a character who could easily need help with learning something about himself that Sunset could easily help him with, that could also help Sunset Shimmer earn her redemption.

For me Lockon Stratos was the perfect kind of character to base mine off of, though it's only partially, mind you, I can assure you that.

Besides, I wanted my character's name to sound cool, and I at least wanted Lockon in my character's name in some format.

By the way, did you read all twelve chapters?

4601239

I will be honest in saying I have not read this story, purely because you have a character named Lockon Stratos Astros who is the adopted son of the most powerful pony in the entire country. Your response as to why you chose that name only confirms what I suspected:
- you wanted to base a character off of the least flawed character in all of Gundam 00 because everybody loves him and he's pretty much the biggest badass of them all because he's the most human of the four Meisters but still kicks as much ass as the dudes with GN psychic powers or the psychopathic bipolar super-soldier(s)
-you wanted to keep the name because it was cool and not because it actually makes any kind of sense within the show setting whatsoever. I mean, it works for the gundam pilot because Cherudim and Dynames are sniper types, but unless this story's Lockon has ungodly sniping abilities, his name makes no sense compared to simple word combinations like "Rainbow Dash" or "Dreamy Heart" or even just "Rarity."

Just from those tidbits, along with how you specifically say 'he will learn stuff about himself alongside Sunset's search for redemption,' immediately sets my Gary Stu alarms off and I predict that they're going to be romantically attracted to each other not even halfway through the story because Lockon Stratos Astros is just that awesome. The fact the "prequel" to this current story is titled with Lockon Stratos's catchphrase and the cover image is a crosshairs, I get the impression you're just trying to put Lockon Stratos into Equestria without making it an outright crossover.

4602929 Well I am not trying to put the anime character into my story and not make it a crossover.:ajbemused:

Plus if you actually took the time to read ALL 12 chapters, including chapter 4-6, which is where he is introduced, you would know that my character's name matches his talent, which I will admit is extremely long range attack spells plus it fits in with his position and skills as a royal guard.

Plus you will find that my prequel story will show you that there ARE differences between there backstories and personalities. They are not completely the same.

I only wanted my character to be based off of Lockon Stratos partially, not completely, and I am trying my absolute best to make sure that is the case.

Just a word of advice. Please take the time to actually read every single chapter of a story before you go and criticize someone's attempt at an OC.:ajbemused:

It took me quite a long time to write this whole story chapter by chapter on Fanfiction.:ajbemused: And I probably made a mistake by publishing all 12 chapters at once on here.

Still I put a lot of work into writing this story.:ajbemused: A LOT of HARD WORK.:ajbemused:

your an amazing book writer writing a book about sunset shimer going back into eqestrea and looking to make amend with celestia and twilight and then saving that baby wolf and then helping the cutie mark crusaders find there special talent’s then saving the crystal empire and the being made a alicorn pure genius!.

im going to tell everyone about your books

4604107 Thank you! Finally! Another viewer who actually read the entire story! And one who proves it no less!:raritystarry:

I was really hoping for comments in all of my chapters, not just the final one.

But your kinds words are very much appreciated.:twilightsmile:

Also if you could recommend my story to other's you know on Fimfiction, :raritywink: , I'd be very much obliged.:pinkiesmile:

Comment posted by darksome deleted Jun 26th, 2014
Comment posted by darksome deleted Jun 26th, 2014

i dont any peaple on fimfiction but i'll tell peaple on google + kk

4604372 That'll work just fine. Especially anyone you know for sure is a Sunset Shimmer fan.

i allmost forgot read sunset of time

4604387 Already read all of that so far. One of my personal favorites.:raritystarry::raritywink::twilightsmile::scootangel:

ok may take me awhile to get on my google and post the link and name and if you would you freind me and email me when your done writing the second book

4604500 I don't really have a google + kk account.:twilightsheepish:

And my second fic is already done. I am just posting the chapters one at a time to get comments on all of my chapters if possible.

ive got it posted on my google in my private circle

ok im gonna read it rigth now

4604613 It's not entirely up yet. There are still 6 more chapters to publish.

ok i can wait get back to me when its done im in no hurry:twilightsmile:

oh you don have a google + acount do you have email or facebook?.

4604658 Yes, to both But I am not sure about giving either one to someone I do not know on a personal level.
4604642 The idea is that i post each chapter one at a time to see if someone will comment on all chapters instead of just on the final one. Don't worry I will post the next chapter right now.

thats understandable about facebook i woundin’t give out my facebook eathere and thanks for posting the next chapter im a quick reader

i read blue basterds coment is seriously not going to read yur fanfictio becaus he dosint like one of the names of your caracters!!!?

4604717 Looks that way. Hey can you post a comment on one of the Chapter's in "Sunset's Locked-On Love"?

sure i’l coment on chapter 1

where it says what time it is its the wrog time

wrong time and i comented on chapter 1

is there voing to be any conflict between lockon and flash becaus in the first book you mention that flash dated so will flash centry ever develope felings fo sunset shimmer

4605115 No. That was the flash sentry back in the other world. Lockon is friends with the flash from the PONY Flash Sentry.

BTW I replied to your comment on "Sunset's Locked-On Love".

You may say that there isn't much point to reviewing a completed story without having read the whole thing, but it is a little long to read in one sitting and you did say you wanted comments on more than the last chapter, so I thought I'd give my views on various parts as I read them.

(As a side note, definitely drip feed your updates even if you have completed the story, as it maximises your time on the front page where casual browsers can spot your work.)

In some ways I wish you hadn't left me such a nice comment on my story, because it means that if I don't give you compliments I'll feel like I'm kicking a dog.

There is a lot to compliment about this story. You have a nice fast pace that carries the reader along, an understated style, some good descriptions (liked the Crystal Empire especially) and not too many grammar errors.

However, one thing I do have to mention: for a story called Sunset Shimmer's redemption she seems to have done most of the work already off-screen. She's just so nice and friendly that I wonder where the conflict is. You already know the Albinocorn so I'm assuming you've read Long Road to Friendship: think how much of the interest of that story comes from Sunset's spiky, proud, stubborn, temperamental nature and how that nature drives the conflict in the early part of the story. By having all of that development takes place off page you've done yourself a bit of a disservice.

It will probably turn out that you'll come up with something else to drive the story later, and i certainly intend to keep reading (please don't take what I've said too harshly), but as I said I'm just giving my thoughts as I go.

4605155 AUTHOR! I want to ask you how you created the story artwork. I can see that it's created with a pony creator using poses, hmm? What I want to ask you is how did you manage to get two ponies on the screen!

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