Stars
I would never say that I fail at everything. Embarrassingly enough, there are entire stained glass windows that I’d have to argue with if I tried. And a pair of wings, and this big crystal castle thing that I’m still not quite sure on its purpose, but boy… The point I’m trying to make is, when I do screw something up, I don’t do it in half-measures. And never quite so thoroughly as when it comes to my own love life.
Heh. My love life? Not even just that. I’ve seen Applejack in so many different moods and circumstances, that I could write a sociological report about her (Trust me. In my more obsessed moments, I got way too close to actually giving it a try). Everything from that exhausted, warm happiness after a long day at work, to the solid determination when she’s facing a big problem, even that self-reliant stubborn streak that’s so adorable when she really gets going. Heck, it’s hard not to stare at her, most of the time. The point is, I’ve seen Applejack in good times and bad.
But I’ve never seen her so… so obviously hurting before.
You would think it’d be awful, right? Seeing my crush confess to one of my best friends, right in front of me. But that was the weird thing. It hurt, alright. But seeing Applejack be rejected, seeing her walk out of the room, holding back tears… that broke my heart in such a way that I didn’t know if it’d ever feel quite right again.
A moment passed in agonizing silence before Rarity spoke. “Well,” she said, her voice brittle. “That could have gone better.”
I looked up at her, my eyes so blurry with tears that all I could see was a ghostly white shape. “How could you…?” I whispered.
“Twilight, let's not start passing around the blame." She sounded tired, drained. "I admit, perhaps we shouldn't have been so eager to delve into Applejack's personal business, but—”
“No, how could you not love her?” I said.
I heard her breathe in sharply. I knew it was unfair. I knew Rarity was hurting too, but she had it all. She had everything I wanted – or at least the love of Applejack, which was a close enough approximation to everything I wanted – and yet chose to cast it aside.
“Darling, I..." She paused, and when she continued, the words came out with a strained cheer. "There's no sense dwelling on what can't be. We must make the best of an unfortunate situation. Why don't we try looking on the bright side?”
“The bright side? What could possibly be the bright side here?”
Rarity was silent for a long moment. “Well, now we know she does like mares,” she finally said. “And… well, that she’s not seeing anypony at the moment.”
That was too much. I shook the tears out of my eyes and drew myself up to my full height. “I can’t believe you! This isn’t the time to look at how this benefits me! Applejack is hurt, and alone, and— and—”
“You're right," Rarity whispered. "And she needs somepony. What are you going to do about it?"
“I’m going to…” I stomped one hoof down. “I don’t know! But at least I’m going to try. Unlike you.”
For some reason, a wan smile had appeared on Rarity's face. “Then go try, darling.”
“I will!” I turned and stomped out, fuming.
I was halfway to the bathroom before I realized what exactly she had done.
I stood in front of the door for a long while, trying to figure out what to say, what to do. I tried running scenarios in my head but they all came to a dead stop. I was terrified. I had no idea what the correct protocol was for something like this. But then I heard a choked sob through the door, and knew that giving up wasn’t an option.
When I finally knocked, I was expecting a voice to yell out, to tell me to get lost. But it just swung open, Applejack standing there.
Her face was serious and expressionless, but her eyes were red and raw. It almost sent me tearing up again but I swallowed and blinked hard, trying to steel myself. I had to fix this.
“I reckon I’ve done enough to ruin y’all’s night,” Applejack said, her normally happy drawl flat and heavy. “I’ve got plenty of chores that need doing back at the farm. Figure I’ll just head back there.”
“Applejack,” I whispered.
“Don’t get worked up on my behalf. I’ll be fine. Same as I always am. Best we just forget that this night ever happened, and—”
I don’t know what made me do it, what broke through my nervousness. It was probably just to keep her from talking, to keep that lifeless voice from continuing any further. But I reached out and flung both hooves around her, pulling her into a tight hug.
At first she just stood rigid, shocked at the action. But then I felt her relax as a hoof snaked around to rub against my back. “Thanks Twi,” she said, some warmth creeping back into her tone.
“I’m so sorry Applejack,” I said. “Really, I am.”
“Shucks, ain’t your fault. It’s… it’s not even Rares’s fault. It’s mine.”
“No,” I said, pulling back to look her in the eye. She had to know. “It is my fault. It’s all my fault.”
Applejack shook her head, smiling slightly. “Only you would look at a thing like this and assume you had—”
I had to show her. I screwed my eyes shut and pushed myself forward.
I kissed Applejack.
It was awful.
It’s not like I’d ever kissed anypony before. How was I to know what to do? In closing my eyes, I ended up missing, and felt my lips bang into the side of her face. I pushed forward, mashing them against whatever part of her I had hit, and if Applejack had felt stiff at first when I hugged her, this time she was a genuine statue.
After a hugely uncomfortable moment, I backed away, and one eye cracked open slowly. Applejack was staring at me, both eyebrows raised.
“Twilight,” she said, “what in the hay do you think you’re doing?”
That eye slammed tightly shut again. “I’m sorry! This is all wrong! I— I—”
I trailed off, waiting for Applejack to start yelling or to slam the door in my face. The silence was even worse. I had to say something to fill it.
“I told you this was my fault and it is. I’ve… I’ve liked you for a long time, and I went to Rarity for advice. That was the whole reason for the sleepover for us for tonight. Rarity said she thought you liked mares and we could use it as an opportunity to make sure, and then I could maybe ask you out on a date or something. I had a book about first dates specifically picked out and everything! I never meant for… for… this. But I screwed up and it’s all my fault and now you’re never going to talk to me or Rarity ever again and—”
I felt a hoof against my mane, and opened my eyes to find Applejack awkwardly patting the top of my head. “Calm down there, sugarcube.”
“But… but…”
“I’ll get through this,” Applejack said. “It’s going to take some time, but I’m going to be alright.” She chuckled to herself. “Heck. Seeing you all in a tizzy sort of makes me realize what a lovesick fool I’ve been myself.”
I could feel tears welling up and this time wasn’t sure if I’d be able to hold them back.
“Not that I mean—” she sputtered. “I wasn’t sayin’ that— Aw, tartarus. I went and shoved my hoof in my mouth again.”
“It’s okay,” I whispered. “I know what you mean. I’m… I’m glad. You’ll still be my friend? Even with…”
“Absolutely,” Applejack said, and I felt her wrap her arms around me in a hug of her own. I took a shuddering breath, guiltily loving being in her arms, even for just a moment like this. When she let go, I felt alone, but less so than a moment previous.
“Look, Twi,” she said. “you’re my friend. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for ya.”
My eyes drifted down to the floor as I forced a smile. So that’s what it felt to be on the receiving end of the ‘just a friend’. Unsurprisingly, not very good. “Yes,” I said, “that sounds familiar.”
Applejack’s hoof pressed against her forehead. “Aw, for Celestia’s sake. I’m doing the same thing, aren’t I?”
“No, I understand,” I murmur.
“No, I— That’s not what I meant.” She went silent for a long moment, and I felt her hoof rest against my cheek. I couldn’t stand to look her in the eyes and kept staring at the floor. “I... I love Rarity, Twilight, and that ain't just gonna go away. It's got me all sorts of mixed up, and more than a little hurting. I think I need some time alone, to think. Some time to figure things out for myself.”
I nodded stiffly, and heard her exhale. I don't know what I expected – for her to just turn around and jump right into my arms? She loved Rarity. And I was no Rarity. I couldn't even be mistaken for Rarity across a crowded room with the lights off. You could take the wings and the tiara and the castle and stuff them, Applejack knew me for who I was, who I had always been. A nerdy little pony with few social skills and a frustratingly obsessive personality. That's why she could never—
“But... I’d give it a try. At least for one date.”
I blinked.
My ears twitched as I tried to figure out if the stress had caused me to momentarily lose it.
“I’m sorry?” I coughed out.
“But you better not bring that book of yours. I swear to Celestia I will throw it right out.”
“You— I— Really?”
“Sure,” Applejack said. She sighed. “You’re a good friend of mine, and maybe it’s just the rejection talking at the moment, but I think it’d do me a world of good to give it a shot with someone who does seem to like me for me.” Her voice dropped to a mutter, so low I couldn’t be sure if I heard her right when she said, “Don’t hurt that you’re pretty cute yourself, least when you get all wound up.”
My face still went so red I swear there was steam coming off of it. I wasn’t so sure my brain was working right, but my mouth had settled on a dopey smile without its input. “Then… then… I’ll need to schedule a time. And write a checklist. And…”
“And learn how to kiss, cause boy howdy, that ain’t gonna cut it,” Applejack said.
“Oh, I, uh—”
“Next time, try something like this.”
Applejack leaned down and that time our lips met directly. It was quick. Physiologically speaking, just one set of lips in contact with another for a brief period. A very small part of my brain registered the fact that for a farmpony, hers were awfully soft and yielding. The rest if it seemed to be preoccupied with the fireworks going off in my head.
Applejack pulled away and immediately winced. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” she muttered. She glanced down at me and her eyes widened in alarm. “No. Not you, Twi. Me. I shouldn’ta done that. I’m not thinkin’ right, you’re not thinkin’ right. You deserve better.”
I swallowed. “But I want… you.”
“And I want…” she trailed off, sighing heavily. “I want to be happy, I guess. And I thought I knew what that meant, but now I’m not so sure. Turns out it’s a lot more complicated problem than you’d think.”
I squared my shoulders and stood up straight. “Then let me help?” I said, trying to sound as steady and dependable as possible. I mostly succeeded. “I’m good at complicated problems.”
Applejack shook her head, a wry smile and a dismissive comment at the ready, and then she stopped. She looked at me as I tried to keep a stern expression, even as my legs still shivered a little. Her smile turned a hint more genuine. “Yeah. Maybe you are.”
She moved past me, stepping out into the hall. “Tell Rarity that I’m sorry, and that I don’t blame her or nothin’.”
“Do you have to go?” I asked.
“S’for the best,” she called back. “I need some time. But I’m gonna be alright. Don’t you worry.”
“Then what am I supposed to do?” I whispered.
Somehow she heard me, and stopped short. She looked over her shoulder, and shot me a grin that looked much more like the old Applejack I knew and loved. “Did you forget? You’ve got a date to plan.”
“Yes,” I said to myself, feeling the slightest flicker of hope for the first time in this whole painful night. “Yes I do.”
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I really like this. It definitely strikes home. I think we've all had something like this happen. I can't wait to see what you do next.
And there's your happy ending.
Wow you weren't kidding... You got another chapter up quick...
Wow, this is captivating. Liked, favorited, and I'll feature it on the blog I work for.
4596796 Story of my life on this site. At first I was like "Right I'm read only completed stories so if they aren't finished I won't be disappointed"
. Lets just say that didn't last long
Hm. I think I've seen that title image used before...
4597217 Yep, you have. I'd be more upset about it, but the author does source the image.
It had a very good start, making use of the first person perspective in a way that really tugged at the heartstrings.
And then all the suspense et all was lost when the second chapter switched to Twilight. Not saying that it's the death knell for the story mind, but it does ruin the impact of an excellent first chapter.
Well, okay then.
I hope, for your sake, you've already finished this, and are just updating day-to-day. Because if you don't finish this masterpiece, these guys *jabs thumb at an angry mob holding torches, shovels, and frying pans* Are gonna find you. And the village delinquent will hover over your shoulder until it's finished, and sharpen his knife every time you stop.
Do we understand each other? Good.
Craine...
One more to go....
4597217
4597251
This isn't even the first time that artwork I've commissioned for one of my own stories ends up in the feature box as a cover for something else. I guess I just have good taste (and too much money)?
Seriously though, it's fine, I guess. It'd be nice if writers in general made more of a habit of asking artists and/or commissioners for permission about this sort of thing -- particularly if they actually do know where their desired cover-image originates from -- but, as Steel Resolve already indicated, at least the original artist was sourced. And besides, I kind of like this story.
(And by 'like' I of course mean 'it made me all sniffly and something-in-my-eye-y'
)
Man. This part. Every time.
4597909
Ah, I hadn't realized that it was commissioned for another story entirely. I should have looked harder and tried to contact you first.
It wound up being a last minute decision when Look Before You Sleep had surprisingly little in appropriate screencaps, and... Well, it's a truly lovely image.
But I apologize and would be glad to switch to something else if you decide that's what you'd prefer.
4598127 I believe my friend was trying to convey that while she would have preferred to be consulted beforehand, you may consider her permission given after the fact.
normally i'd be fine with an incomplete story,, but right now i can't say that:
4598228
Uh, yeah, what he said!
4598127
Although, honestly, whether or not it was intended for another story or not is actually kind of inconsequential, if you ask me (although that it does make it a bit more unfair towards the person who originally paid for it). Basically, you should always ask an artist for permission to use their original artwork first.
Apology accepted.
However, as was already (somewhat clumsily) said: you hereby have my permission to use this picture for your lovely story. I'm pretty sure Spittfire wouldn't object either.
Congrats on getting featured!
Hello Aurora, Bechdel's Law still top-5 most featured fic in Russian fandom. May i hope at resumption? ;) Best wishes.
Rarijack is my OTP of ponies. And now I plan on watching this Twijack. I hate you. Go to hell. An hurry up with the next chapter.
I am intrigued. I am debating whether I should read this now instead of sleeping before work, or add it to my read later list. I guess we'll see what happens.
Advice: You got to pack a mint.
... Calling it right now, Rarity has a crush on Twilight.
Twilight is so naive. But at least my thoughts have been squashed. Imagine if all three of them loved each other individually. That would make for a hell of a conflict.
Now in to the final part. Will Twilight and Applejack work out?
aww sooo cute cant wait to see if things work out with twi and aj
4603174 I know right
Having got to the end of this chapter while knowing that the next one will be from the viewpoint of Rarity, the one thought I can' t stop thinking is:
... Oh dear Celestia. Rarity is the element of generosity...
Rarity's just too smooth.
YESYESYESYESYES!