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Track 1: Have You Met Miss Scratch?766 words
Track 2: Well, Did You Evah1,661 words
Track 3: My Shadow And Me1,059 words
Track 4: Ain't That A Kick In The Head1,167 words
Track 5: Something Stupid1,364 words

Track 2: Well, Did You Evah

Fancypants sipped at his wine, adjusting the hat on his head. It was a classy top hat that looked a little silly, which was the reason he didn’t wear it often just as much as it was the reason he had bought it in the first place. He mostly put it on to get a laugh out of his wife.

For some reason, though, he had felt compelled to wear it this evening. Fancypants usually listened to feelings like that, since he credited them for making him what he was today; not for the fact that he was rich and considered one of the most important ponies in town, but for the fact that he still knew what fun was, and that he didn’t have to look it up in a dictionary. A good feeling was the reason that he was now married to what some ponies might consider his soulmate, and a good feeling had led to him crossing ways with a prodigy designer from Ponyville and her delightfully chaotic friends.

Now a good feeling had him in the same bar he had visited one week ago, wearing a slightly silly, but very classy hat. And thinking about it, he only now noticed that he had taken a seat uncharacteristically close to the stage tonight.

A loud laugh and a slightly quieter groan drew his attention back to the two mares sitting a few tables away from him. Both were noticeably drunk, but not so loud that they would have bothered anypony… yet. Fancypants recognized both of them and he had watched them drink for the better part of an hour, going from 'slightly drunk' to 'really drunk', or 'falling off her chair and giggling like a loon' drunk, in the unicorn’s case.

“I’m telling you, Tavi, I’m no… I’m not ‘too drunk’.” The unicorn made a wide gesture with her hoof, causing her to sway dangerously far over the edge of her chair again before she caught herself.

“And I’m telling you to stop calling me ‘Tavi’.” The earth pony mare seemed to be blushing lightly, though it could just have been the alcohol or the lighting. “My name is Octavia. You don’t see me calling you ‘DJ Pon3’ either, Vinyl.”

“Exactly!” The white unicorn, whose name Fancypants had cleverly deducted to be ‘Vinyl’, leaned back with a smug grin. “You’re not callin’ me by my stage name, and I’m not callin’ you by your stage name. Not my fault you always go by your real name in those concerts of yours.” She stuck out her tongue. “So stop saying I shouldn’t call you Tavi, Tavi.”

Octavia groaned. “You’re drunk Vinyl. And if you’re not ‘too drunk’ then you are definitely ‘drunk enough’. As a responsible friend, I’m not letting you drink any more.” She pulled the half-empty mug of cider across the table away from Vinyl.

“Drunk? This is nothing! I’m totally sober, and I’m going to prove it!” Vinyl looked around for a moment before pointing at the stage. “There. I’m going to sing a song on that karaoke machine and I’m totally gonna blow it apart with my amazing not-drunk singing powers!” She stood up, swaying a little before she regained her balance.

“Vinyl, you don’t have to–“

“And you’re going to sing, too.” The unicorn pulled a surprised Octavia off her chair and dragged her along towards the stage. “We’re going to sing a duet and it’s going to be awesome and you’re going to admit that I’m not too drunk and, and, and I’m going to get a trophy and a medal and stuff for being the greatest karaoke singer in the history of karaoke bars.”

“Vinyl, I really don’t think–“

“Don’t worry, Tavi. You’ll get a medal, too. It’s a duet.”

Octavia rolled her eyes. “Well, in that case, how could I refuse.”

Vinyl just grinned and fumbled with the machine for a while until she had found the song, then took two microphones and held one out to her friend.

Octavia looked at the screen and raised an eyebrow. “That’s your song to prove you’re not drunk?”

Vinyl just grinned and leaned slightly against Octavia. “Trust me, I know what I’m doing. Now hush, the song is starting.”

Octavia sighed, but stopped when the music began to play. She took the microphone and took a small breath.

[Octavia:]
I have heard among this lair
You are called a forgotten mare

[Vinyl:]
Is that what they're sayin'?
Well, did you evah!
What a swell party this is!

[Octavia:]
And have you heard the story of
A colt, a filly, unrequited love?

[Vinyl:]
Sounds like pure soap opera

[Octavia:]
I may cry

[Vinyl:]
Tune in tomorrow

[Octavia:]
What a swell party this is
What tail, what mane

[Vinyl:]
So smooth

[Octavia:]
Their fur, the same

[Vinyl:]
They're beautiful

[Octavia:]
Why, I've never seen such gaiety

[Vinyl:]
Neither did I!

[Octavia:]
It's all just too, too risqué, really

[Vinyl:]
There’s Prench champagne

[Octavia:]
Domestic

[Vinyl:]
So good for the brain

Octavia turned her head to look at her friend and raised an eyebrow. ”Really, Vinyl… more alcohol?”

Vinyl just shrugged. ”You know you're a brilliant fellow?”

“And you’re drunk.”

[Vinyl:]
Drink up, chap.
And please don't eat that glass, my friend.

Have you heard ‘bout Berry Punch?
Got run down by an avalanche

[Octavia:]
You mean at the running off the leaves?

[Vinyl:]
Don't worry.
She's a game girl, you know.
Got up and finished fourth.

[Octavia:]
Are you improvising now?

[Vinyl:]
Havin' a nice time?
Make up some lines

[Octavia:]
Have you heard about Beauty Brass

[Vinyl:]
Oh, what now?

[Octavia:]
Started teaching a music class

[Vinyl:]
That’s all you can come up with?

[Octavia:]
I’m drunk!

[Vinyl:]
Well, did you evah?

[Octavia:]
Never!

[Octavia and Vinyl:]
What a swell party this is!

“I really like your bowtie…”

“You do?”

Vinyl smirked. “Yeah, it's a lovely bowtie. You think I can talk you out of it?”

Octavia gasped, blushing. “Vinyl!”

Vinyl laughed. “Just kidding.”

[Octavia:]
It's great

[Vinyl:]
Ah, it's great

[Octavia:]
It's grand

[Vinyl:]
So grand

[Octavia and Vinyl:]
It's wonderland!

[Vinyl:]
We sing

[Octavia:]
Oh, we sing

[Vinyl:]
So rare

[Octavia:]
So rare

[Octavia and Vinyl:]
Like old Camembert

“Are you ready, Tavi?”

“Ready for what, Vinyl?”

[Vinyl:]
I’m gonna prove that I’m not drunk.

Vinyl raised her microphone and suddenly began to dance, tiptoeing on her hooves and dancing around her friend.

[Vinyl:]
Have you heard?
Even Luna said
It’s no evening to stay in bed

Octavia hesitantly started to sing along, but Vinyl’s voice mostly drowned her out.

[Octavia and Vinyl:]
Well, did you evah?
What a swell party, a swell party, a swellegant, elegant party this is!

Vinyl ended with a pose, standing on her hind hooves. Then she suddenly dashed forward and magically grabbed the hat of a rather surprised Fancypants, putting it on as she moved into some kind of fast-paced amateur stepdance.

[Vinyl:]
I drink to your health

Octavia groaned and shook her head. "I do need a drink right now."

[Vinyl:]
For Egalité

[Octavia:]
You know Prench?

[Vinyl:]
For Liberté,
Fraternité

Vinyl stood up on her hindlegs again to salute, followed by a slightly confused Octavia. As soon as the earth pony was standing, Vinyl sidestepped, putting a hoof behind her and pulling the other mare over it. She caught her friend with both forelegs, holding her…

[Vinyl:]
Have you heard?
Even Luna said

…and immediately pushed her back up, causing Octavia to stumble forward a little on two legs.

It’s no evening to stay in bed

She grabbed Octavia’s hoof and pulled her back, twisting her around once and stopping the mare right in front of her. Octavia huffed and raised her own microphone for the finale.

[Octavia and Vinyl:]
Well, did you evah?
What a swell party,

Octavia swiftly moved next to Vinyl, both mares dropping on all four hooves.

swell party,

Vinyl grinned as she noticed the cellist stand up and salute again, completely synchronal with her.

swellegant, elegant party this is!

Both mares ended with a flourish, spreading their forelegs as they dragged out the last note. After a few seconds they both stopped and dropped down again, both of them grinning as they quickly trotted off the stage, accompanied by the applause of most of the bar’s patrons.

“See? I told you I would blow those ponies away with my singing.”

“You said that you were not drunk, and I still don’t believe that.”

“Oh come on, I’m fin–“ Crash. “Who put that chair in my way?!”

Fancypants chuckled and gave a respectful nod to the two leaving mares, then downed the last few drops of his wine and set a couple Bits on the table. Satisfied with the evening, he stood up and turned to make his way back home.

“…don’t have to go to another bar, I suppose.” Fancypants turned to the unicorn’s voice and noticed the two mares standing outside near the door, though they didn’t seem to pay attention to him. He simply walked past them and turned left, in the direction of his home. “I mean, I kicked some flank at karaoke and I got this awesome new hat, so I guess it was a pretty good–“

“Where did you get that hat anyway? You didn’t steal that from somepony, did you?”

The voices faded as Fancypants got further away from the bar. He hummed happily as he walked and had almost made it two blocks far when he heard the voice of the earth pony mare again.

“You did what?!?”

Author's Note:

So here we are. Each chapter is of this story is centered around a song I have rewritten just for this. Some of them might be a little short, but I've never been good at dragging things out.

If you are wondering why I didn't just colorcode the two voices for the song... This way it makes it easier/possible for colorblind people to enjoy the song.
Improbable as it is, I've actually gotten that request once from a colorblind reader once.

On another note, while the story itself might be Completed, that doesn't mean more chapters won't be added, so make sure to give it a Favorite if you want to see those. I will say more about that at the end of the last chapter.

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