Newenglandee
Joined 1st Feb, 2014 ·
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Newenglandee · 2.1k words · 96 19 · 6.2k views
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I'm giving you a down vote for the grammer, everything else is good but when the Huntsman was eating Fluttershy you made it seem like she was eating him at first. Minor complaint and hope you get an editor. I'll still favorite this though.
Where did you get the story title image picture?
4586524
Thank you kindly. I'm not the best when it comes to Grammar.
4586752
Ah, that I'll address soon. It's sort of a reference for a certain crowd to pick up on.
4588271 Well someone has to tear you a new one and I recently had that done to me so.... and also, are they from the DC universe? Cause I have the feeling they are from there.
4588530
I don't like tearing people new ones unless their protagonists are awful and we are meant to agree with them, the story is REALLY badly written and with bad detail and huge errors, or if the author is a misanthrope like Chatvoyance. But if you wanna know who made that cover pic I chose? His name is Ed McGuinness. Big comic book artist.
This story seems pretty cool I'm gonna fav and like it let's see where this goes I'll be watching
4605499
Thank you! :D
So let me get this straight. First off his kind goes planet to planet starting fights to see if they are worthy of living and if not then they are wiped out. WTF? Not even a rematch to try to stave off an extinction? And the two alicorns fighting him could stop him when they could defeat Discord, a being that defies pretty much everything with the snap of his fingers. It seems like your Cosmo Sapien is over powered to the point where he could probably take on Discord or Tirek alone. And your spelling errors that was around, tweak that up.
One, all they need do is injure one of these beings enough. Just make them bleed...and they'll leave. And if not, they just eat until they're all full. Hopefully for whatever race endures this that doesn't mean outright extinction.
...hopefully.
To be fair, they caught Discord off-guard. He's never serious. If he was, he's probably put up more of a challenge to them. And two, this thing IS a living galaxy. He's not going to be a pushover. I think you meant to say "couldn't"...more than likely they COULD have if they'd kept going, but by ending the fight there, it might have saved one of their lives.
But yeah. I do need to work on my spelling errors. I'm trying to fix that. And also to show what our protagonists can and CAN'T do to fight him. I think I've given away something of a hint in this first chapter...mainly in how he treats others...to show that despite being incredibly dangerous, he still has a sense of integrity to appeal to, a sense of honor and compassion. Therein might be the solution. Of course...it's only the first chapter. I've still got a ways to go.
Did he just have sex with BB?
4654839
Yes, actually.
I think it would be interesting if they tie and it ends up being a sort of voluntary thing to be eaten by him, if he lives on the planet.
4689856
That could very well be one such outcome.
4724036
Why, thank you! I enjoy writing multiple endings. Each chapter forward will have them, and I intend to make them quite varied.
4724006
Thank you kindly!
4724227 Your welcome
The story still reads incomplete... What is going to happen next?
4725662
Well, as I said in chapter three, there's multiple ways this could unfold. I showed in "The Twilight Hour" what would have happened had Twilight decided to take on the Huntsman. In the next chapters you'll see what happens when the rest of the Mane Six and their friends get a turn. How will they handle this alien hunter? How will they succeed of fail? Each will be different.
4726027
Ah, thank you for clearing that up! (Although I want to see what can top this chapter... Twilight is my favorite prey and I love this type of vore)
Wait, who the hell is Tanya?
I find this series rather refreshing, and the diversion to different possible outcomes actually suits this pretty well. It generally gives the people what they want.
Some of the best, intangible things about vore is the sensation of doom for the one being ingested. Blueblood's scene is one of my favorite moments for how long the implications of his fate were allowed to simmer (ha). Twilight ultimately deciding the best they could do was use the time he was being consumed to strategize... that's great, seriously.
Of course, the gonzo nature of him cooking and eating live ponies, roasting them on spits and baking them into pies... that's never really been my thing... but I know it's others'.
But while I know this guy is supposed to be sympathetic and merciful, and complex... it DOES ruin some of the mood that the pony getting eaten always descends into this blissful state before passing out peacefully.
Admittedly, you did have him get uber-pissed at those dragons, but that went into hard-vore ripping and tearing territory.
I dunno, it might be nice if someone like Rainbow Dash took him on, lost, and either refused to submit in peace, or panics and is consumed in agony. It's a little disappointing that all of them are so willing or honorbound.
4893690
Well I do have to balance characterization and the detail of the process, but believe me...it won't be all easy for some of them. Especially the next chapter. I'm glad it so intrigues you, though!
4892047
Spelling error/mixed up with other chapters I've written. The bits and pieces sorta blend together at times. I'm still kinda new to this, so please excuse my occasional error. But it's good you caught it, I need to keep an eye out for when I've made that kind of mistake. Thank you!
Aw, damn... story chapter. Though Rainbow was gonna get ate.
Oh for the love of... Really? A reference to the ONLY Katy Perry song that even a musical illiterate like me can describe as vomitously awful, derivative and lazy in half its lyrics, and sounding like a bad ripoff of "Brave", a far superior song?
... That might be the best line EVER to declare entirely absent of its context... shout that out at a party at random some day, seriously.
4952272
Unlike with some of the other chapters, a bit more is happening than just a fight, so it requires some setup. Especially because I REALLY want to get the Gilda/Rainbow Dash relationship right. I don't want it to come off like a 90's stereotype of a gay relationship.
Will we get to see the 'new' Rainbow Dash?
4975475
I intend to do "extras"...so yes, I think so. ^_^
FORCE HER INTO THE D!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *gets slapped by Chrissy* I regret nothing!
5024864
She just might GET that, actually. Few people deserve such treatment like Chrysalis.
not a question realize. a contrived gore story wil lbe a contrived gore story.
5063800
I'm not really trying to make that. I'm trying to make something more than just what might appeal to the lowest common denominator. You want to think of it as porn, you're welcome to. But I, personally, want to make BETTER porn. I want to make a story that's more than just fetish work, with characterization, with real stakes, with emotion you can feel, with nuanced antagonists. That's what this story is to me. It's more than just wank material for others. It's a story.
5063852 considering hge killed twilight, celestia would tackle that mofo into the sun.
and i di not say porn, i said gore.
5063855
He didn't really kill her, though, as we saw. And that's only a possible outcome. The story branches off in multiple ways with multiple possibilities. Some which are more strange and fantastical, others more realistic and sensible. Another point is to make a little something for everyone.
Also, there's not really that much "gore" in the story. There's only one or two chapters that have very graphic, horrific violence and even then it's only a page or two at most? So I think you're being just slightly uncharitable.
I like the SALVE REGINA.
5182104
As did I...especially the idea of Discord having to be the one to wake Neh-Buh-Loh up. ^_^
5182122 Ok
Very Impressive
5254021
Thank you!
you're welcome
Hmm, i'm just guessing here but, is this some kind of crossover with Grant Morrison's Seven Soliders?
4588530
Yeah! the Cosmo Sapien is the race of Nebula Man, a Justice League of America/Seven Soldiers of Victory villain.
5861598
Yes! Good eye! I was wondering if anyone would get that! Congratulations! ^_^
5861701
Sorry, notifications barely working these days.
So, are we going to see smoe other of Morrison's SSoV? Maybe a team of Seven Soldiers becoming a new set of Elements?
5893410
Perhaps in another story. I'm working on some Crossovers right now, truth be told. One idea I had was Teen Titans mixed with MLP as the Titans are brought into Equestria and the Mane Cast brought into the DCU, with both forced to adapt to deal with their new environments.
5893474
Funny, considering my first fic is basically "The CMC are turned into the Doom Patrol".
Well, good luck with your projects.
I might comment more later, but honestly... I liked some of the other endings a bit more than this one
also I think this Fanfic is highly underated
Aaaaaaawww so sweet both endings .
Aaaaww ok i am a fan of this story.
the ending at the end of this chapter is cute and funny.