Zaniah and Antares (Revised)
Foals
MLP:FiM is owned by Hasbro.
MLP:FiM was created by Lauren Faust.
All OCs are mine unless specified.
Princess Celestia awoke from an old nightmare bathed in cold sweat. She shivered, the last of the dream lingering the cries of a tiny, helpless child lingering in her mind. Without a thought, her hooves were already on her swollen belly. She could feel movement in her womb and it quickly drove away her fears. A soft smile was followed by a sigh. Fifteen centuries was a long time to carry a painful memory. Shuddering in relief, she cried silently as she remembered what was lost so long ago. Oh, let this be the last tear shed! A glance towards the open doorway leading to her balcony told her she had some time before sunrise. A part of her wanted to go forward and greet the day as she had always, but she knew it was impossible for her to raise the sun now. It had been ten months and twenty-three days since she had last raised her old friend.
The pregnant mare composed herself, wiping away the old pains from her cheeks. “I have you two now,” she said to her foals. “Nothing can keep you from me. I promise.” Celestia found herself growing a smile as the last tendrils of the nightmare faded from the back of her mind. Hope rested beneath her heart and it warmed her soul thinking of it. Her worry was still there and had been since she was first aware of her expectant status.
“Sister?” came a familiar and welcome voice from the direction of her balcony. Behind the speaker trailed a warm late June breeze.
Celestia turned her head from where she lay. It still felt strange feeling the power of her sister outstripping her own after so many centuries of being the stronger of the two. She smiled at Luna. “It was the same nightmare,” she admitted, knowing what Luna was going to ask.
The dark alicorn entered without permission. She needed none and was always welcome with open hooves in her sister’s chambers. The Princess of the Moon, Ruler of the Night, darker half of the diarchy, and best sister in the world had been Celestia’s biggest supporter and had done everything she could to ease the burdens from the elder alicorn’s shoulders. In a sense, Luna became the sole example of power as Twilight Sparkle was still struggling to come to grips with the enormity of bearing the power of the sun within her form.
The stars in her ethereal mane twinkled through the vastness within as she smiled warmly. “That is all it is, ‘Tia. Nothing more than a bad dream. The past cannot harm you.” She came alongside Celestia’s bed and leaned in with a comforting nuzzle. “Good morning.”
“Good morning, Lulu,” Celestia said. “I might as well get up now. Lend me a hoof?”
“Of course.” Luna used her mane to guide her sister to the edge of her bed. Being pregnant made the elder alicorn feel ungainly. The younger noted Celestia still had a good amount of agility and grace in her movements. “Playing this for all it is worth, are we?” she asked with a grin.
“I would never do that,” lied Celestia blatantly with a smile. When she was to her hooves, she took a moment to groan and ponder why stallions shouldn’t have to suffer the indignity of pregnancy. Nothing made a mare feel lumpy more than having an ungainly weight hanging from her belly. She looked forlornly at her protruding sides and sighed. The novelty of carrying foals had long ago lost its novelty. Celestia simply wanted them out at this point. Her stomach was thinking of something completely different as it growled at her.
“Early breakfast?” Luna suggested mildly.
Celestia nodded and yawned. “Yes. Early breakfast.” Eating for three had turned the princess into a voracious eating machine. She was always hungry. At least she could have all the cake she wanted! A more important need came in the form of her bladder. One that had somehow shrunk in size over the past few months. Constant trips to the restroom had become a common theme for her. “First things first,” she grumbled as she made her way to her bathroom. The door swung closed in her wake.
“Remind me never to get pregnant,” Luna called after her.
After a few minutes, the Sun Princess spoke. “Luna?” Celestia’s voice muffled through the bathroom door.
“What is it, sister?”
“Don’t get pregnant.” The door opened and she emerged wearing a long-suffering look, but at least bearing one of relief.
Luna giggled at her sister’s expense, only to be rewarded with a rose-colored tail flicked in her face. The two mares went to get Celestia a snack before breakfast. There would be more after Twilight rose the sun and joined them for her own breaking of the fast.
The sun rose less than two hours later. Celestia suddenly found she could not bring herself to watch as it brought an unbidden pang of remorse. One simply did not give up an millenium or so connected to the fiery orb without the deepest regrets. Twilight had done a remarkable job in maintaining the established schedule for the raising and setting of the sun. The young alicorn had grown quite adept at her new and temporary duty. Her adherence to schedules had sung true to her habitual form. It drove Luna to be more punctual, which suited the dark alicorn just fine. At the end of twelve months, the sun would be returned to Celestia and everything would be as it should be. In the end, it was a small sacrifice to ensure the lives of the unborn.
The main breakfast followed shortly after, which meant discussing the matters of the day as well as other pleasant small talk. Little was on the docket for Celestia. The human ambassadors wanted to sit with the princess and discuss a few social concerns, but it was not considered anything serious. If anything, it was going to be another round of ‘Culture Shock and You’. The children of the Earth and children of Equestria and her world were still learning from each other. There had been a lot of stumbling lately. The past year had seen the first signs of the two worlds becoming linked with the appearance of the so-called World Bridges, 'trans dimensional wormholes' as described by human physicists. Luckily, nothing too serious other than the expected misunderstandings between cultures.
The theory was built around a star going supernova, but Celestia suspected Discord was behind the linking of dimensions. It was still being investigated. So far, all that could be assumed was the gates were stable and traffic moved freely, if limited between the two planets.
Luna was not happy with having them. Still, it was the Princess of the Night who cobbled together a delegation nine months ago to speak at the United Nations in New York City. Trying to find enough pony ambassadors to answer the requests from so many nations was still a work in progress. Though it was tempting to simply send the most irritable nobles away from Canterlot and to Earth, Luna set herself determinedly in seeking out ponies best qualified to act as good representations of Equestria.
Other than the always dicey topic of humans, the day was looking to be nothing more than petitioners in the morning, lunch at noon, more petitioners throughout the afternoon. There was going to be an open audience with some of the Earth ambassadors throughout the day as they would be mostly observing, should they choose to join the proceedings of the day. For the most part, they were still coming to grips with the fact magic did indeed exist. Dealing with it now on a daily basis had been amusing from Celestia’s standpoint. Watching her rule offered the men and women a chance to see how the princess acted towards her subjects. More than a few were suspicious of her true nature. They were incredulous of her long life span. The Princess of the Sun had expected this. She had spent many years examining the many facets of the human mind and was well versed in reading any sentient being from a simple conversation. Her wisdom and experience loomed like a mountain range before the host of humanity come to live and learn with the walls of her home.
Luna watched them all like a brooding hawk. Her trust was very hard to earn. Just ask the human named Michael Spriggs. Their friendship was an odd one if tentative. As of yet, no other human could pierce her distrust of their race unless they were under the age of twelve. She adored children of all species and even made time one night a week to gather them around and tell stories. It was a grand way for foals to make friends with the children of the human representatives from Earth and Luna encouraged this. The violent tendencies of humans were what set her on edge, but she felt there was few things more innocent than a child with a heart filled with wonder.
Celestia was confident with time she would win them over. She would worry the day Luna decided humans were no longer a species to be worried of.
Luna soon excused herself for bed and Twilight had a morning engagement with her friends. Celestia went to her throne room, waddling with stately grace to which she commented to one of her guards, “I swear, if I become any larger, I think I shall simply roll about the palace!”
Her voice was loud enough to force a genuine laugh from those within earshot of her exclamation It set the tone for her day and made the day seem that much brighter.
Celestia was happy. Despite the pain, the throbbing in her belly and loins, she was happy. Swollen and tired, she didn’t feel beautiful. She felt radiant! Giddiness tickled at her heart after so long of a wait in her vastly extended life. She glowed through her day, enjoying listening to her subjects as they came singly or in groups. Most were well-wishers. Some came simply to see their princess. She greeted them all, wearing a genuine smile. Nothing seemed to bother her, even if two accusatory voices spat at each other between two earth pony stallions. The moment the first pain struck was in the middle of hearing out a dispute between the two farmers in regards to property boundaries. She let out a little yelp of surprise. The two farmers started at her unintended interruption, their eyes shifting from her visage to the swollen belly she now had a hoof over. Their argument died in their throats as she cleared her throat professionally and willed the pain aside.
“Gentlecolts,” she said lightly, “It would appear the royal heirs find your arguments invalid.” Celestia giggled and let out a little breath. “Court is suspended for the day, my little ponies,” she announced loudly but kindly. Already a guard went unbidden to fetch her court physician. This day had been anticipated.
The two farmers both opened their mouths to protest, but thought better of it. The two Solar Guards at the base of the throne simply had to narrow their eyes and give a little frown as they each took a single step forward as a single entity. Bowing awkwardly to the princess, they were about to turn and leave.
“Hold a moment,” Celestia called down to them from her throne as she rose smoothly to her hooves. “I will still render my findings based on your dispute. I will have a survey team go down to your property to re-evaluate your property lines in three days. The cost will be split evenly between the two of you. You gentlecolts have three days to either resolve your property lines in private or have surveyors work to establish a new one.” She cast a look over to one of the royal court recorders who knew when to write a decree and when to simply annotate records of events. Faultless Pen was well-versed in the letter of the law. The unicorn smiled and levitated a freshly penned document for her. “Excellent. Make two more copies; one for each party in question.” She smiled at the two stallion farmers. “Gentlecolts, I bid you good day. I hope you two sit down and talk it out.”
They thanked her and quietly made their way out of the throne room, glaring at each other all the way. Celestia sighed then chuckled, shaking her head as she eased the soreness from her swollen legs. Daintily she made her way down the dais from her throne. Citizen ponies who had their chance to meet her snuffed suddenly more or less understood what was going on. The words ‘labor’ and ‘foal’ began to work its way from mouth to ears quicker than a ‘how do you do’. Those who were not as aware of their surroundings had their grumblings ceased as castle staff began to take their names down for rescheduling or perhaps even waiting until evening, when Princess Luna would hold her Night Court. Those who felt their grievances were important enough would certainly not mind the Princess of the Night hearing them out. For the most part, Equestrians were an understanding lot, if a bit stubborn. Some had no idea Princess Luna even held court at night.
The alicorn was considered the living embodiment of the sun, yet for the past eleven months, the aura of her power had been greatly muted. Her normally ethereal mane of bright morning colors was now a simple light pink, resembling the aftermath of Luna’s return from the moon a few years ago.
Thinking of Earth, Celestia had noted a few humans in the line of ponies waiting to speak to her. These were among her newest citizens. A year ago, such a thing would have been an impossible sight. Equally impossible was the presence of changelings here and there, walking openly and without disguises. It was a tenuous peace at best as relations were still in their infancy.
The American ambassador nodded politely to her, mouthing ‘congratulations’ as he had decided to spend the day observing Equestrian politics. He was far from the only one. The ambassadors to Britain, France, Germany, Russia, China, Japan, and a few other countries Celestia could not name off the top of her head rose respectfully as she passed by the section reserved for foreign dignitaries. They were as curious as the general populace as to how the Day Court was conducted. The past seven months had been interesting, to say the least. Already there were nearly a thousand humans in Canterlot alone, each one carefully screened and selected before making the odd journey from Earth to the world many had nicknamed Eden.
The ambassador to Saudi Arabia, a prince from the very large royal family of that nation made an odd and respectful gesture as she passed by. The princess nodded and smiled at him, sensing his good tidings in his spoken Arabic. The man had a neatly trimmed beard and wore traditional robes in a stark contrast to the suits and ties human dignitaries seemed to favor.
Already the castle staff was moving. Quietly and discreetly schedules were changed and preparations planned months ago were set in motion. Contingencies were in place. Notifications were dispatched. The princesses Luna and Twilight Sparkle would be among the first to be told.
Celestia was going into labor. She should have teleported to her chambers, but past experience concerning pregnancy and magic made her decision to avoid it as much as possible for the past eleven months an easy one. As it was, her connection with her beloved sun had been transferred to Twilight Sparkle, her former student and currently the most powerful alicorn in the world. Celestia had used about as much magic during her pregnancy as the common unicorn and even that was sparingly.
Guards fell in step behind her, following their princess in their typical stoic visages. The way was cleared with efficiency and politeness. It would not do to be rude, not while Celestia watched the corridors and doors before her. She could have walked these halls blindfolded. She knew her home like the back of her hoof.
There was a wink of magic and a flash of white and indigo behind her. Sensing a welcome and familiar presence, Celestia peeked over her shoulder to see a frazzled-looking Princess of the Night seemingly just awakened suddenly from a deep sleep.
“FOALS! MUST SEE! WHERE?” Luna blurted as she battled mightily the lingering remnants of sleep from her eyes. Her blue eyes sought out and found her pregnant sister. “‘TIA! NOW?”
A contraction hit. Celestia gave a little hiss of pain and inhaled sharply. “Oh!” she sighed and winced while managing a smile at her younger sister. “Luna, I need you awake and not as you currently are.” A massive white wing stretched out and over the smaller alicorn as she reached in for a comforting nuzzle. It had an immediate calming effect for the now hyperventilating Night Princess.
“My apologies,” said Luna through her blushing. She glared at the two guards meaningfully. They cringed from her. One of them swallowed hard. “I was awakened most rudely.” She returned the nuzzle, though poked gently at the swollen barrel of her sister. “Is it time? Truly?”
“Yes!” Celestia would have hopped from hoof to hoof in girlish glee, but her swollen joints made it painful to do so.
It did not prevent Luna from her own gleeful display. Acting several centuries younger than her age, she gave a short, excited scream and bounced up and down beneath her sister’s wing. Her excitement went untempered. Their roles reversed as suddenly the younger sister led the elder down the hall. It had been agreed no powerful magic would be used upon Celestia. This included teleportation spells.
Luna’s mane of stars and the night flowed like a meandering river under the light of the moon, pressing against her withers and shoulders as she began guiding her sister towards her chambers. They touched their cheeks together and both giggled like school fillies.
“How has it felt?” Luna asked Celestia as they journeyed through the vastness that was Canterlot Castle.
They could not help but notice the rapidly growing army of castle staff and guards pouring out of the woodwork. The efficiency of the ponies who worked directly for the diarchs was something to behold.
“From what the doctor has told me,” Celestia replied breathlessly, “it’s been perfectly normal, like any other mare. I simply have a much higher threshold for pain.”
“That goes without saying,” noted Luna dryly. “Where is Twilight?”
On cue, the youngest member of the alicorn family appeared, her backside facing Luna and Celestia, her mane and tail of perpetual twilight glimmering between night and day like an undulating breeze. The transfer of power from Celestia to Twilight had made the former unicorn larger, longer in the legs, and filled her with mind boggling power. The aura of her magic faded rapidly, leaving the all-too-excited young alicorn to jerk her head to the left and right, ears perked forward in alarm as she pawed nervously at the marble floor.
“I should have teleported right in front of them. My calculations were perfect!” she complained in exasperation. Her eyes were wide as they darted to and fro, causing some of those within her field of vision to flinch from her. “Where’s Celestia? Where’s Luna? WHERE’S THE BABIES??”
“Must be infectious,” Celestia noted to Luna, who looked away loftily.
“Be nice,” murmured the younger sister.
Hearing their voices, Twilight spun around on a back hoof. “Foals?” she demanded, her eyes wide and pupils narrowed to pinpricks. “Having now birthing?”
“Oh dear,” giggled Celestia. “Twilight?”
“Yes?” Twilight’s left eye twitched as she wore a massive grin best associated with the clinically insane.
“I’d like to have my foals in my chambers, rather than here in the halls,” she noted, trying very hard not to laugh at her hyperactive former student.
“Right!” Twilight nodded emphatically.
“Twilight?”
“Right!” The young alicorn beamed like a good puppy. Her head was still bobbing up and down.
“Your checklist. Did you bring it?”
“Right!” Twilight brightened. Checklist? Brilliant! It poofed into existence and unrolled between the three alicorns. The thing kept unrolling and unrolling, all the way near to the end of the corridor. Ponies yelped and hopped out of the way of the charging menace, following the path to its origins with disbelieving eyes. A purple princess was currently eyeballing the first item on her very long list with the eagerness of a starving wolverine on a salmon.
“First thing,” she read out loud, much to the amusement of Celestia and Luna, “go to the throne room and assume royal duties for the day in place of Celestia.” Twilight looked up and at her sister alicorns, eyes suddenly filled with horror. “The country is without guidance!” she practically shrieked. Her horn flared and she teleported without thinking. The list went with her, reeled in like a fishing line until the very end of it disappeared into the magic void with a resounding snap.
Celestia looked at the spot where Twilight had just been, trying very hard not to laugh at her former student’s tendencies to take something simple and turn it into a minor emergency. There was a mountain in the molehill, it would seem. “Luna? Do you think you could keep her from harming something? Namely the throne room. She might have a panic attack when she realizes there’s nopony there.”
“I suppose,” Luna lamented, not wanting to leave her sister’s side.
“She’ll be a terror to the human ambassadors,” reminded Celestia.
“You put her in charge of the Day Court specifically for this event,” countered Luna.
Celestia smiled. “I know.”
“For a month,” she pressed with an arched brow.
“Yes, I did, didn’t I?”
“I almost feel sorry for the dignitaries. Is not the king of the griffons coming to visit next week?” Luna gave Celestia a calculating look.
Celestia merely gave her a smile.
Luna broke into a broad grin. “You are evil.”
“I’m pregnant and filled with hormones,” said the white alicorn with a shrug. “Some decisions I make can’t be held against me.”
Luna sighed, “I shall make sure she does not bombard the court with those infamous checklists of hers.”
“She knows what she’s doing,” Celestia reminded her. “Just keep her on track and remind her she has ponies who can handle the details. All she has to do is sit on the throne and look important. I’m not disappearing completely, so let her know she can come to me if she has any questions. Don’t forget you’re also the other half of what represents Equestria. Make yourself available to her. Keep back, but also keep an eye on her. Let her know if she’s doing something she’s not ready for. Guide her as I would guide her. She may not want to rule, but she needs to be ready to act as a ruler should the necessity fall upon her shoulders.”
Another contraction reminded her where she was supposed to be.
“Very well, I shall make sure she does not cause too much pandamonium,” Luna announced as she drew herself up straight. “Will you be all right?”
“Yes, I’ll be fine, Luna,” Celestia told her with a giggle. “Go! I know you won’t be able to sleep now, but try and get some rest when you have a moment. It is still a while until sunset.”
“It will be difficult,” Luna admitted with a sigh. “Are you sure you will be fine?”
“My personal fears are justified, Luna. I still remember.” Celestia’s gaze flickered to the past, glazing over before snapping back to the present. “This isn’t then. This is the moment of life now. It won’t happen again. I’ll be fine. They’ll be fine,” she said as she offered her sister a nuzzle.
“Your Highness?” queried an approaching voice. Celestia looked up to see her doctor approaching. The pale green unicorn had been a busy stallion the past eleven months, being the first doctor in fifteen centuries to record the pregnancy of an alicorn. His name was Doctor Healing Smile. Behind him was his nurse, a blonde coated unicorn mare named Faithful Smile. They were married.
“Go, Luna,” Celestia said with encouragement in her smile. “Everything will be fine.”
Luna sighed reluctantly. “I shall go over the announcement with Twilight to keep her occupied,” she said thoughtfully, casting a glance at the ceiling before settling back on her sister. “Very well. Let me know if you need me, sister.” She nuzzled Celestia quickly.
“I will,” promised Celestia. “I Pinkie Pie Promise!”
Laughing, the Sun Princess gave Luna a responding nuzzle. Luna turned and trotted off, tossing a smile over her shoulder as she went to keep Twilight from over organizing the court. Law and order was one thing. Law and checklists, however was a tinderbox for revolutions!
“How are your contractions?” Dr. Smile asked professionally. He fell in step with his princess. His wife kept a clipboard at the ready along with a pencil. She followed in their wake. For the next several minutes, Celestia told him everything she had felt from the moment her water broke to the most recent contraction. There was no unusual pain, other than the birthing pains she had been told to expect. Dr. Smile listened intently. His wife scribbled away.
In minutes, they were entering the private rooms of Princess Celestia. Maids doing last minute changes in preparation for the coming foaling bowed and quickly made their exit. A pair remained behind to help the princess out of her regalia. After standing for several uncomfortable moments, her tiara and necklace were put away and her shoes were removed from her hooves. Smiles were worn openly and thrown without reservation at their beloved princess. Celestia returned their smiles with one of her own, mindful of the growing spasms deep within her. She wondered how long the laboring would last. There were stories of mares having eighteen hours of struggling before producing their foals. There were others of foals popping out soon after their mothers went into labor.
“Painkillers, your Highness?” asked Dr. Smile. “You wanted me to give you the option the moment you went into labor.”
As she settled into her bed made ready for this new and very alien challenge before her, Celestia shook her head. “No, I don’t think so. I’m set on keeping it natural.” The maids helped her in and made sure pillows were fluffed and their princess was comfortable. “Thank you, ladies,” she told them with a warm, dismissive smile.
They bowed and left.
Nurse Smile nodded in understanding. “As you wish.”
There was a flash of magic and a scroll suddenly appeared before the princess. As she made herself comfortable, Celestia broke the seal, noting with a smile from whom it had come. “Oh, Cadence,” she said with a smile. Unrolling the parchment, she read aloud the words of encouragement from the Princess of Love. “Dear Celestia. Waiting to hear wonderful news when the blessed moment arrives! All of the Crystal Empire awaits with bated breath! Summer is excited to meet her cousins! With love always, Cadence.”
The ruler of the Crystal Empire foaled herself not two months ago. Cadence had a filly she named Summer Song. Alicorns were literally popping everywhere! Celestia could not help but giggle at the end of reading her niece’s note. It had to be attributed to the melding of two worlds after thousands of years apart. The long-lived mare was sure of it!
“Very sweet of her,” Nurse Smile said, speaking up for the first time. Tossing her short light blue mane, she set aside her clipboard and checked Celestia’s pulse.
“She has always been a dear,” hummed Celestia until another contraction hit. “Oh!”
Dr. Smiles hunched over, examining with a critical eye for dilation. “Well, your Highness, it would appear your foals are in a bit of a hurry to come out and see you!” he chortled. The doctor began telling his wife what he was seeing and the mother to be was progressing quite normally. To a degree, he sounded almost disappointed, but not in a bad way.
“Steady breathing, Highness,” Nurse Smile reminded Celestia when she was done scribbling. “Is the pain too much?”
“No, not at all,” came the reply. Celestia might have been knitting for as calm and serene as she appeared. She was laying on her stomach, rising a bit on her back legs with each contraction. Her tail rose, flicked, almost anticipating what was to come. The forelegs were folded neatly before her and she was breathing normally. It took some effort to concentrate on a simple instruction of breathing steadily. “Leave me.”
It had always been her plan to birth her foals on her own, without aid. Her doctor had begged her to reconsider, but this matter was already settled the moment it became a thought in her mind. This moment was too special. She reassured him and his nurse they would wait on the other side of the door and she would call them if she needed to. She even agreed to a monitoring spell to look in on her, so long as she did not know where it was.
Celestia groaned, focusing her thoughts to what came instinctively to her. She simply let her body do the work, her muscles contracting and pushing when the moment demanded it. Between contractions, she focused on her breathing. The pain was unlike anything she had ever felt before. For a moment, it alarmed her. Steadying herself resolutely, she brushed her rising distress aside and felt a shift from within. The mare pushed and felt something open wider. She gritted her teeth and moaned, taking quick, short breaths. Idly she found herself wondering how she must look to the eyes of a casual observer. Certainly not very princess-like!
For what felt like an eternity, Celestia followed the ingrained need to push with each muscle spasm. Each time, she was rewarded with movement. Listening to her own breathing and the little sounds she made as she birthed, Celestia wondered why mares would subject themselves to this torture. Their resilience had to be legendary, she mused through a pained smile. Yet another contraction broke her musing. This one was a bit more serious. A fresh new wave of pain rode along with it and Celestia hissed in surprise.
“I hate stallions!” she groaned. Maybe I should banish all of them to the moon!
Luna sat quietly with Twilight, occupied with keeping the overly excited and fretting young alicorn focused on making a list for...well, it didn’t really matter what the list was for. So long as Twilight kept her frazzled mind focused on one of her more obsessive tendencies, there was far less of a risk to the castle in general. Twilight wondered why the throne room was nearly devoid of ponies. The question was voiced vocally and each time she repeated it, the octave would go up in her tone. This repeated until she was nearly in hysterics, her eyes pinpricks. A corner of an eye twitched as she was suddenly thinking everypony hated her.
“Twilight,” Luna began when the mulberry princess was starting to laugh insanely.
“Yes, we can all be such good friends!” Twilight rambled as she giggled. “They heard I was coming and abandoned me! They ran away, didn’t they? They don’t want Twilight, they want Celestia! Maybe I should become the Princess of the Neglected! Yeah! Forever alone!” She began her habitual pacing, head staring at the floor with set bewilderment in her eyes.
“Twilight,” Luna tried again, stepping warily closer. “Day Court was cancelled the moment Celestia went into labor. Please calm yourself!” She motioned for the guards to leave. They nodded and filed out quietly. An eye or two might have been cast with concern at the babbling living insane asylum now trotting back and forth in front of the throne. They might have been Celestia’s personal guard, but they had been warned to not give her younger sister any reason to make her cross with them.
Twilight stared at her. “Cancelled?” She gave the throne room another sweeping cast of her eyes before the realization struck. Her attention settled on a lone human in a plain brown suit scribbling notes. “What about him?” she asked loudly.
He looked up, a wiry human with round spectacles and a bad haircut. “Ma’am?” he squeaked, clutching his notebook to his chest. “I’m j-j-just a university st-st-student f-f-from England, t-t-trying to work on my th-h-hesis on Equestrian g-g-government and ap-p-p-plied law,” he babbled nervously. The poor fellow looked as though he had been so engrossed in his notes, he failed to notice Celestia had long since gone as well as almost everyone else.
“Oh, this is most fortuitous!” exclaimed Luna happily. She flared a wing out behind Twilight and guided the disappointed alicorn towards the trembling human. “Princess Twilight here is most knowledgeable on modern law in Equestria! I find myself steeped too far within the darker ages of administration and still find myself having to fall upon my advisors for their council in regards to matters of this age! Have you a name, human?” she asked imperiously.
The human nodded dumbly at her. “Uh, yes?”
She arched a brow at him, wondering if Twilight’s antics broke the poor fellow. “What is your name, human?” Luna asked gently, mindful the fellow seemed rather fragile at the moment.
“H-h-harold, ma’am,” he said, offering a weak smile. His pupils were pinpricks. “Harold Jamerson. I’m from Liverpool.”
“Very good, Harold,” said the Princess of the Night. “Twilight?” She turned to the alicorn who was staring at the human intently. Luna flinched, then rolled her eyes. “Perhaps you can explain our laws to Harold Jamerson?” she suggested helpfully.
The smile erupting from Twilight’s visage was—for lack of a better word—huge. “Oh, yes! I’d love to help you with that. What did you want to know, Harold?” She was before him like a vulture on a rotting carcass. Then, she remembered her manners as she more or less came to. “Oh, my name’s Twilight. Twilight Sparkle! Pleased to meet you!”
The poor fellow smiled weakly.
Luna heaved a sigh of relief. “Very well. I shall leave you to explain our laws. I should not say this, but I find theoretical discussion of the concept of law and its application rather boorish. Why don’t the two of you go to the Royal Library and have your discussion there?”
Twilight nodded at the dark alicorn happily. “That’s a wonderful idea, Luna!” She had calmed considerably by now. “Harold, would you like to see the castle’s library? It’s got everything you’ll need and I can help you with any research. I can also answer any questions you might have.”
The poor human could not refuse, his own eyes going round. “Really?” he asked almost reverently.
“Of course!” Twilight beamed at him. “Here, let me help you gather your things.” She began shuffling his paperwork with her magic. “I can also help you get better organized. Have you had a problem getting to certain papers in a timely fashion?” she asked him professionally.
“Well,” Harold replied as he stared at his floating papers with a mix of awe and disbelief, “yes, after a fashion. I get so caught up in my work, I tend to just put things down and not really pay attention to where, exactly.”
Luna noted his nerves had also started to settle. Though she appeared impassive, she was inwardly doing backflips and whooping it up in victory. All she showed was a knowing little smile as the two began chatting like fellow intellectuals. “Well, then,” she announced warmly to the two of them. “Why don’t you two get going?”
Twilight remembered the reason why she was here. “But what if Celestia has..?” her voice died as Luna’s hoof was suddenly on her lips, a wry smile to be had.
“I will be certain to let you know. As soon as it happens, I shall send somepony to fetch you when the moment comes.”
“Promise?” Twilight asked in a tiny voice, to which Luna nodded.
A mollified Twilight turned to Harold. “Shall we get going, Harold?”
The human nodded. “Yes, please!” he cried.
Twilight smiled and practically dragged him from the throne room with her magic and out the gilded double doors and onwards to the general direction of Canterlot’s library.
Luna watched them leave and only heaved a sigh of relief. She needed a drink. A good, stiff drink. Her sister was busy having her babies and Twilight was successfully preoccupied with helping a human learn about Equestria. Just as she had planned it. She had spent the past couple of weeks watching the human from a distance, even tabbing a couple of servants to watch him once she suspected he was nothing more than a university student and the nephew of the British ambassador. Harold would prove to be the perfect distraction for Twilight and keep her from too much mischief. He was going to be here for the next few months, so springing him upon the mulberry alicorn what not so much a matter of tact, but also a matter of necessity. Twilight Sparkle was the sort to find things to do in a moment of crisis, even if they weren’t the most logical of choices. Celestia was hoping to wean her from that and further her advancement as a princess of Equestria. Twilight had a long way to go and her former mentor thought putting her in (strictly supervised) charge of the Day Court would do wonders in her political development. Having successfully found a distraction worthy of the purple princess, Luna set about to gather Celestia’s advisors and go over everything with them.
A year of planning was already in motion. As soon as Twilight was gone, a servant trotted from one of the side doors and bowed to Luna. The pegasus waited expectantly for orders.
“Alert the press,” Luna said as she turned to him. “Release the announcement of my sister’s current condition.” He bowed and took to wing as another servant took his place. “Notify the kitchens. I need to eat something. I shall dine in the waiting room near my sister’s chambers.” The unicorn smiled and took off. Another came in. And another soon followed. The train of servants came and went, each one given commands. Luna’s mind was orderly and had everything lined up. Even so, she had a list she summoned with her magic. Ruefully she thought of Twilight the moment it appeared before it. It was nowhere near as detailed as Luna liked to allow for flexibility as events unfolded. To her, this day was unfolding like a battle and she treated it as such. Her generals were the headstallions and headmares of their respective positions in the castle, their soldiers the servants beneath them. As she began to make her way to the waiting room mentioned just moments before, a small army of pages followed; young colts and fillies to serve as runners should something come up. Satisfied everything was proceeding normally, the list disappeared with a flicker of her magic.
Luna had eleven months to plan this and was determined to see it all go smoothly for her sister’s sake. Besides, waiting around and twiddling her hooves would simply be maddening. So long as she kept her own thoughts preoccupied and had something to do, she reasoned the foals would be here before she knew it! It was a good, solid plan.
Her nerves told her otherwise.
Fifteen hundred years was a long time to carry a memory. As much as she tried to push a day long forgotten by all but two beings in the world, she could not fully drive the heartbreak from her mind. Though the sisters never spoke of the incident, Celestia’s nightmares pulled Luna into remembering the day vividly. In a way, Luna had to take the role of the consoling sister for a change, trying to soothe away her older sister’s fear of losing her children as she lost her first one.
She could only imagine the terror Celestia might be feeling at this moment. The thoughts of everything crashing down about her again as it did before had always left a bit of a haunted look in a place only Luna knew where to look. It had always been there. Though she gave up almost all of her power and was no stronger than the average unicorn, Celestia still held a sliver of doubt she would lose her foals.
Once she reached her destination, the little army of foals was set outside and given snacks while she found herself on her haunches and staring at a bowl of broccoli soup. Bits of mushrooms and celery floated in the broth. Bits of cheese had been sprinkled on top. A bottle of wine chilled in a bucket of ice off to the side.
Luna wondered if she truly was ready for this. She was not used to being put to the front. Like it or not, she was going to be the face of Equestria while Celestia was on maternity leave. She was far better suited for it than Twilight. The girl’s issues with obsessing over details placed her in no condition to be an effective representation of the Day Court, Luna imagined. She had nothing personal against Twilight, far from it! Twilight was as dear a friend to the Princess of the Night as she could ever hope to have.
She had no appetite as her nerves put butterflies in her belly. Still, Luna ate and took part in a half a glass of wine. As requested, the clock normally mounted on the wall in the waiting room had been removed. Luna hated watching a clock. Instead, she kept by the window, just out of the shafts of sunlight as she had her light lunch. Watching the shadows creep became a bit of a focus. Her soup soon disappeared, leaving an empty bowl. Luna nibbled absently on a cracker as a servant quietly entered and whisked away the tray, her eyes upon the lazily drifting clouds in the blue, blue skies. A few pegasi darted to and fro, most of them guards meeting overly excited citizens already gathering in the courtyard. The same balcony from which Twilight was introduced as the newest princess to Equestria would also be used to announce the birth of the royal foals.
Luna was going to give it. She already had a speech memorized.
“I hope I get to proclaim it,” she murmured, her mind slipping to dark thoughts. Suddenly furious with herself, she shook her head. “No! It will be a joyful moment! My sister deserves this happiness! I shall be happy to tell our little ponies of such glad tidings!”
She was very near her sister’s room. Near enough she could—if she paid very close attention—make out groans from Celestia’s bedchamber. Luna tried not to. She tried and failed, her cyan eyes fixed and staring at the wall. Quaffing the remnants of wine from her glass, she refilled it and sighed. “I should be in there with her,” she complained. Celestia wanted to do this the old way, in the same fashion her mother had told her ponies used to bear their foals.
Her thoughts shifted to the obvious question that had been asked for months. Who was the father of the foals? Celestia had kept her mouth closed on the matter, even though Luna applied her best efforts to pry the secret. She suspected Celestia had used some sort of powerful magic, perhaps even seeking out the aid of a powerful being such as Discord…
Were they his?
No, no! Luna shook her head at the thought, utterly reviled with the very idea! Discord had never shown any romantic interest in either Celestia or Luna as the notion appeared beneath his consideration. Celestia certainly put up with the draconequus only because he was supposedly reformed and could be a very useful ally when he wasn’t busy creating his brand of chaos. It was muted now, far less than the war found so long ago (he insisted to him, it was all just one running gag before they encased him in stone). If anything, Discord was the visiting uncle who overstayed his welcome long ago and could not be gotten rid of. This did not prevent him from possibly lending a hoof to Celestia’s search for a potential father to her offspring. Even he was not going to talk about it. Luna could only take so many pies to the face when asking.
“At least he used variety,” she muttered at the memory.
This still left Luna with the mystery as to who the father was. She fully intended to enlist the aid of Twilight in unraveling the truth from the web Celestia had spun about it. The elder alicorn simply refused to speak of it, though she did blush a time or two when asked. It was something to be solved, a challenge! Luna was determined to ferret out who, but at a later time.
So, she waited. The day crept along and she waited. The bottle of wine slowly became less and less weighted, its contents finding their way into the dark alicorn’s belly. Luna paced, counted the tiles on the floor, and paced some more. What books were in the shelves of the waiting room were perused, then set back as she simply could not focus enough to read. Every once in a while, she thought she would hear something...or not hear something from her sister’s room and her ears would perk in Celestia’s direction. Luna would stand stock still, even holding her breath. Realizing nothing was happening other than the continued labor, the princess would sigh in disappointment and continue working through her growing anxiety.
Finally, after what seemed an eternity, Luna did hear something!
It was a tiny little voice; a wail thrown into a fit of coughing before renewing its announcement to the world. Shortly after, there was another, slightly more forceful cry. The little voices were very faint through the wall, but Luna heard them.
Oh, she heard them! There was two! Just as Celestia said there would be!
Her ears perked again, swiveling before her head could turn to the wall in the direction of the little cries. “‘Tia!” she cried in her excitement.
Luna promptly tripped over the table as she made her way to the door. The magnificence that was the Princess of the Moon fell flat on her face, her rump pointed to the ceiling in a very ungraceful and unbecoming display. She swore she would turn anypony who burst in the waiting room and saw her like this into a toad! A big, fat, ugly toad!
Lulu, come see! Celestia’s voice called out weakly, but filled with pride within her sister’s mind. They’re beautiful!
Fortunately, no one seemed keen on checking on the Moon Princess while she righted herself. The sound of thundering hooves indicated a gathering just outside the royal chambers of Princess Celestia. Luna managed to right her inglorious self to something a bit more presentable and socially acceptable. With a huff and a sense of relief nopony saw her fall, she went out the door adjoining her sister’s room.
Mentally, she checked with Twilight Sparkle to see if Celestia had informed her student.
YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! Oh, Celestia, YES!
Luna could not help but laugh out loud.
Celestia cleaned her tiny bundles nestled protectively between her forelegs with her tongue, an ancient tradition no longer in use. She believed in bonding with her newborns as her mother had bonded with her in an age nopony could even possibly comprehend save for Luna. Certainly, she would let the doctor and the army of nurses outside her chamber doors to check the health of her foals, but for now, she would let no others near them. They were both pale, like her. One bore a variation of her mane color; her daughter while the other sported what would probably be a brilliant cobalt blue. Both were so tiny, trying to focus uncooperative eyes into a very large and very scary world.
Celestia hummed softly to them, letting them smell her and feel her warmth. She inhaled their scents and felt their little hooves bat feebly and with no control against her muzzle. She giggled, nuzzling each one gently. Her daughter was the spitting image of herself, she thought while her son reminded her a bit of his sire. His coat was only slightly darker than his sister’s, a ghostly gray. Carefully she inspected them and was very much surprised to find both her foals were alicorns. This elated her and was beyond her expectations.
They were so tiny and helpless!
Her heart melted again and again as she could not believe she was holding in her hooves her own flesh and blood despite the best scheming of those who would have delighted in her failure. She had given up so much and sacrificed greatly of herself. Her dream was realized! She was a mother! Not of one, but two foals!
“You two are so precious to me,” she said quietly to them, touching them again and again with a very gentle nuzzle for each. It was as if she feared at any moment they would disappear from her grasp and be gone forever should she blink. Yet here they were! Hers! Foals of her own! “You are as precious to me as all of Equestria,” she told them as happy tears formed in her eyes. “I love you both! Your mommy loves you both so much!”
Mommy. Celestia realized she was actually a mother now! Instead of the symbolism of motherhood as she had been for all of Equestria for too many centuries to count, the princess was an honest-to-goodness mother of two newborn foals!
The fruits of her labors squirmed and made little sounds through their tiny mouths. The colt tried to stare at his mother, his brilliant blue eyes unable to focus. Both foals would not be able to make out anything with their eyes other than colorful blurs for several days.
“Well hello to you, too,” Celestia said to him with a soft chuckle. “I think I shall call you Antares.” She jostled him gently and clucked her tongue against the back of her teeth. “As for you,” —she touched her muzzle to her daughter— “I shall call you Zaniah.” Celestia pulled back and regarded them with tired, proud eyes. “You are both the twin gleams in my eyes, beacons in my heart to place next to Equestria.”
She felt both Twilight and Luna appear in her room. They both entered with respectful steps and heads bowed in reverence to the scene of an impossible birthing. No other ponies had dared to enter this sanctuary, not without word from Celestia herself. Her invitation had gone to these two mares who had played major roles in allowing her to have her two little miracles. Despite knowing these two mares as two of her closest and dearest members of her family, immediate and extended; her wings reflexively went over her foals on pure instinct. Mares were naturally protective towards their foals. It was not unusual for a mare to ward off her husband from her foals the first few hours after their birth. This was one of the reasons it was recommended the foals be separated from their mother after birth mostly to stem such overprotective behavior. The pain caused by the process of a natural birth was theorized to cause the mare to want to (and even aggressively at times) protect the very source of that pain she went through all that suffering for.
“Tia?” Luna ventured warily as she noted those magenta eyes narrowing at her for a brief moment. “How are you feeling?”
Hearing her sister’s voice broke Celestia from her maternal stupor. “Fine. A little tired. Definitely happy,” she added sheepishly.
“Foals?” Twilight asked in the form of a blurt. A hopeful grin tugged at the corners of her mouth. Her eyes were fixed to where her former mentor’s wings crossed each other over her front legs and chest. Only Celestia’s eyes and top of her head could be seen as she peered over her feathers and at her former student.
Celestia blushed, feeling foolish for thinking she needed to conceal her babies. Slowly, with reluctance she pulled her wings back, cooing softly to the two bundles curled against her chest. The foals were already drifting off to sleep, quite comfortable against the fur and warmth of their mother. They had curled up next to each other into little white balls. Antares offered up a huge yawn before wriggling closer against his mother and sister, making tiny little sounds.
Luna and Twilight each gasped and caught their respective breaths at the adorable little scene before them.
“So tiny!” breathed Luna in awe. “They are perfect, sister. Well done!” she congratulated Celestia proudly, straightening herself regally and swelling up with a huge grin.
“Shh!” reminded the Princess of the Sun sternly. “Sleeping foals!”
Luna caught herself, covering her mouth with a hoof as she plopped on her haunches. A bashful smile uncommon for her quickly broke her facade.
Twilight spoke in a much quieter tone, though she was no less proud. “Oh, this is such a historical moment. I never thought I would see naturally born alicorn foals on the day of their birth. Simply amazing!” A pen and paper appeared.
Celestia gave her an intent stare, then rolled her eyes good naturedly. “Wouldn’t you rather hold one of them?” she asked shyly. “You can take notes later.”
The youngest alicorn’s eyes went wide. “Really? Is it okay?” She shuffled forward.
“Perfectly fine,” assured Celestia warmly.
“I get one, too!” declared Luna firmly. She was now hopping excitedly from one hoof to the next.
Luna had her speech prepared, having (with the help of Twilight) amended the original writing (two foals meant announcing two names). Hundreds of ponies had gathered in the castle’s courtyard. The press had their own section, some already taking pictures while others busied themselves with last minute checks. A few even tried to sneak closer to the balcony, but sharp-eyed guards firmly (some not too gently) reminded the reporters where they needed to be.
The nobility had their own gathering, a shaded area set up by their servants. The separation between them and the common everypony was made very clear with the tall, white partition set around them. They had been waiting for this announcement. Of course, not all of them were there simply to offer their support for Princess Celestia and her newborns. The royal foals had been the talk of the upper classes since the announcement she was expecting nearly a year ago. Even before they were born, there had been several proposals for arranged marriages. Some ponies saw this as an opportunity to become a part of the royal family. Luna and Celestia were soon to be flooded with arrangements for marriage.
Among the VIPs were the Bearers of Harmony, having messages delivered via a fast pegasus dispatch. Odd looks were given to these seemingly ordinary ponies as they were set among the nobles with full military escort. Why, one of them appeared to be nothing more than a farmer pony! Of course, it was a carefully guarded secret what the five mares represented. Fancy Pants welcomed them warmly, as he knew one of the bearers and was currently courting her.
The atmosphere was festive, very reminiscent of a carnival. Enterprising ponies were already working their way through the crowd selling memorabilia. Balloons were given to colts and fillies. A band played lively family-oriented music. There were even food carts. Random chants were started up in one section of the crowd. Some humans were mixed in the crowd, though they tended to cluster together and off to one side and near one of the walls.
Twilight had gone over Luna’s announcement several times, scrutinizing every word all the way up to the very last second. The Princess of the Moon had to pry her paper from the mulberry alicorn’s grasp, clearing her throat as she did so.
“Is it not to your satisfaction yet, Twilight Sparkle?” she asked her friend quietly and with an exasperated undertone.
Twilight cringed and gave a small laugh. “I’m so sorry! I just want it to be perfect and you write so well but you still have tendencies to write the way you used to speak.”
Luna laughed and smiled, bringing her friend in for a hug. Nopony was looking, so the normally stoic princess allowed herself a moment to show her appreciation. “I asked you to help me and you’ve gone beyond my expectations. Your meticulous ministrations to the details presented to you are a sight to behold, friend Twilight! I am pleased with your changes and will address Our subjects with this finished work. Now is the time to let me be a sister and announce to all the growth of the Royal Family!”
“Okay, Luna,” Twilight said. She was still very worried something might go wrong.
“Nothing will go wrong. Everything is perfect,” assured Luna as she straightened herself. With one final toss of her mane, she straightened and regally made her way to the end of the balcony and into the bright midday sun. Fanfare announced her presence.
As her appearance was made, there was a great cheer from the ponies below. Hooves stomped in their version of clapping, while the small group of humans added the odd sound of slapping their palms together. There was even a bawdy whistle thrown at her. Over the past few years, Luna had become more and more of a common sight. More ponies knew about her and their curiosity of her had naturally grown. Naturally, she was considered one of the great beauties of Equestria.
Several stallions (and a few mares) were mesmerized by the princess until somepony nearby smacked them for staring (wives glared at their affected husbands).
Luna held a hoof up, her form calm and bearing a small, proud smile. The crowd died down, all eyes turned towards her expectantly. Nearby a songbird poured its little heart out. Luna gave it a moment to finish, sure now she had the attention of all.
She took in a breath, and began to speak. “Beloved subjects! Friends from other nations! This day is a day of great tidings and unbridled joy! Not an hour ago, my sister, the Princess of the Sun Celestia, Mistress of the Sun and the Diarch of the Day brought forth into this world new life!”
A cheer rose from the audience. Luna counted internally to five, then held up a hoof. It was in her speech to wait. Behind her, Twilight listened, her ears perked as she gauged the reaction. She beamed.
“Princess Celestia bore not one, but two foals, a colt and a filly,” Luna went on, her gaze sweeping the audience as her voice swelled with pride. Her smile was growing wider and wider with each word she spoke.
More cheering erupted like a confetti volcano.
“Say their names!” cried out the voice of a random mare from the crowd. There was a rumble of agreement. Luna spied out the speaker. A mint green unicorn with golden eyes had risen on her back hooves, flailing her forehooves in the air. Brokenly, then growing in strength, they took up the mare’s cry in the form of a chant.
“Say their names!”
“Say their names!”
“Say their names!”
Luna loved every minute of it. She wanted to look over her shoulder and give Twilight an I-told-you-so look, but she kept in mind the image she wanted to always have before her subjects. Instead, she gave a controlled smile and basked. As much as she wanted to act like a sugar buzzed filly, being a pillar of royal pride took precedence. She flared her wings out, flaring as she dipped her head and closed her eyes. Luna waited until the chants broke down to a quiet hush. Murmuring voices drifted over the breeze and touched the dark alicorn’s ears. One flicked.
When she brought her head up with practiced grace and ease, Philomena, Celestia’s pet phoenix had appeared from a window and circled over the crowd. The beloved firebird called out her own joy before dipping her wings and settling on the balcony rail next to Luna. The dark alicorn smiled at the bird, who started preening herself.
“Two foals were born and two foals have been named by their noble mother!” she cried again to the crowd. “The colt is named Prince Antares! The filly is named Princess Zaniah!”
The euphoria exploded in the form of a joyful roar. They did not hear Princess Luna declare a national holiday to go with three days of festivities. Most already knew. She was merely making a formality. Sitting back, she simply enjoyed seeing her happy subjects and waved at those in the crowd who waved at her. Twilight came up next to her, grinning without any hint of reservation.
“I’m an aunt, Twilight,” Luna said to Twilight. “I think it should be a most interesting position to hold!”
The purple alicorn giggled.
“How was the speech?”
“It was very good, Luna! You kept it short and to the point. Ponies like that. The nobles might have expected something windier, but they’re full of hot air as it is.”
Luna chuckled. “There’s only one thing left to do, Twilight Sparkle.”
She replied, “Go mingle and greet the guests?”
Luna nodded, then flashed a small pile of photographs with her magic. “Partially. I go to show off the pictures of the foals! An aunt must let the world know how magnificent her niece and nephew are!”
“And cute!”
“Oh, yes. Most certainly cute!”
The two mares laughed and went forth to show off the still photos of the mother and her foals moments after the births.
Luna remembered something. "Twilight?" she asked.
"Hmm?" hummed the smaller alicorn.
"What did you do with Harold?"
Foals.
Two Journeys Begin...
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I loved this! So cute! Hope to see more!
Been waiting for this when you show the preview of the story, nice job. Now, lets see how the two bundles of joy grow.
Meanwhile, poor Harold is lost in the labyrinth that is the Royal Library...
This was just beatutiful, and I can't wait to see you do more with it. Unfortunately, as it seems to be a sequel to My Daughter Chrysalis, I suppose we'll have to wait for that to get done to avoid too many spoilers. Not that I mind too much if we get more MDC in the meantime.
Some questions to be answered too, chiefly Who's the father? Also, though we can make a pretty accurate guess, what happened during Celestia's previous attempt at motherhood?
Love it! I always like Celestia acting like a mother and a OP Twilight in charge with nearly isane breakdown? It's just delicious. I wonder what she did to Harold? I hope we will have more of their interactions, he seems funny.
Keep the good work! Can we expect regulary uptdate?
4578305 It's not so much a sequel as a spin-off. Chrysalis will be busy dealing with her responsibilities, but she might make a cameo appearance here and there.
As to your query as to what happened the first time...An Immortal Price.
who dares not to like this fic?
4578797 There's always someone out there. Probably mad there's a human tag on it (they're background characters! Like Applejack!)
4578798 foolz, not knowing a good fic when seeing one
still, good fic man
hope it won't end up as pilot only
4578808 I still want to go over this chapter...it feels as though it can be cleaned up a touch before I press on with raising the foals.
4578809 link me up... and you will hear my thoughts.... would need to read it few more times
This is a pretty good read.
Like the topic, needs more mother Celestia fics out there and don't feel that any of the characters are to terribly out of place. Don't even mind the whole Humans being in Equestira, it's your future world do what you will.
That being said I do have one big problem with this fic...
And
These 2 portions took me right out of the story. Honestly I feel that they need to be gone with. Inside jokes like these, while common in most fan fics, are really big mood breakers unless done well and in a way that doesn't break they flow. Also doesn't help that the characters themselves are questioning how this is happening and while sometimes "That's Pinkie being Pinkie" could work as an explanation lots of people abuse that to have Pinkie just break any and all set rules established.
And yes, yes I know about how it's her "thing" to not make sense at times and break the laws of physics but there ARE rules that she has to follow, the Rule of Funny being the most important one.
Other than that really I don't have to much of a qualm with this story and am interested to see more.
P.S. You should totally take out the period in the title... feels like it would looks better.
The word count alone told me that this was going to be good. And it was!
Simply magnificent. Eagerly awaiting for more.
I like the idea of Celestia and Luna being mothers, so this was a treat to read. I noticed a few grammatical errors, but those can be taken care of by proofreaders with your planned continuations to the story. The real question here, for me anyway, is how will you continue the tale? Will you have the story center around the antics of the foals as they grow up? Of Celestia learning the trials of motherhood? Will you have a spinoff story that follows the foals while continuing the main story with Celestia? There are a number of ways to expand the story if wish it to continue, and I just offered a few suggestions on how that could be done.
It's this type of stories that make this website something us bronies feel proud of being part of, the story (so far) is very well written, if we exclude the fact that the title has a period when it shouldn't have any the story is a very entertaining story.
The only question I have is: What will Blueblood do to Antares and Zaniah?
Nice story. I'll keep reading. Just one thing about the birth (since it's about magical talking equines it probably doesn't much matter) : a foal is usually on it's hooves and following mama around very quickly, within an hour or two anyway. Of course the Cake twins were all bundled up in beds after they were born. I can hardly wait to see what alicorn magic surges are like. heh
Bravo sir Bravo
Ah! Spoilers! Spoilers! Noooo!
4579164 I should do that...I just don't work with Pinkie enough and thought it would be nice to have her break the fourth wall, as well as funny. Swing and a miss, I guess.
As for the period in the title...that was more of a reminder to me to keep it foal.
4579246 Eh, don't let word counts fool you, but thank you for your kind words!
4579725 It was largely unedited...I've got someone going over it right now.
4579905 Blueblood will love the crap out of them. Believe it or not, he's all about family in this story. The kids need someone to pick on.
4579951 I wrestled with that idea, then just decided to go with how newborns were portrayed with the Cakes. Works fine, imo.
4580179 Fear not, gentle reader! I haven't yet gotten to how things seem to be in this one!
Just curious, what is the significance of the names Antares and Zaniah?
4578760 I was just about to ask if this was a sequel to An Immortal Price.
Very strong names for foals.
4580606 They are the names of stars in other constellations in our night sky. Look them up! :)
I've enjoyed this first chapter. Lots of good feelings. :)
Loved it! Please post more of this soon. If this was just a rough draft, I can't wait to see the rest of the story as it comes out.
Good, but looooong...think you could have written it in several chapters, broken it down some. But otherwise, super good!
4582570 I'll try to make them as comfortable as possible for readers...I do have a tendancy to get into detail with what's going on around the characters.
4582603 That is all fine and dandy, it just could have been broken down in several places!
Otherwise, the flow is nice, as is the dialogue...you kept a good balance. :)
This was amazing. Thank you.
story is great, missed the part where humans came into equestrian, don't like that kind of stuff but I'll allow it! More chapters!
Then the father is revealed to be... MISTER SPRIGGS! DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!
4584114 Nope.
4586207 Then... IT'S CHRYSALIS!!! Omfg! It makes perfect sense! She laid eggs in her that hatched! No not really but tbh if it's an OC i don't really want to know... mostly because i won't know said OC.
4586207 BIG MAC that sly dog
4586242 It's not an OC.
4586622 Interesting.
The humans in the story feel a bit ... tacked-on. You've jumped straight past first-contact with very little detail - obviously, you've got something in mind for them (probably Harold) and didn't want to deal with initial contact, but I hope you get to making them a bit more relevant pretty soon.
Otherwise, fun read so far.
4588329 As this is a spin-off to another story currently running. Such desriptions and history regarding First Contact will come throughout that story. It's called "My Daughter Chrysalis".
Completed???!!?!?!??!?!
4612569 It's a pilot chapter. I'll wait until the results of the contest before I start working on the first story arc. Until then, it's considered 'complete'. Besides, I might make a few changes to it before pressing on (like take the human element out and make it its own story not tied to some of my other stories).
We'll see!
I felt completely lost. You at least addressed the issue of the foals' father, but why were there humans in this? What purpose did they have? As far as I can see, you could have gotten rid of them entirely and just focused on the birth.
4613141 It's supposed to be a spinoff from another story I am working on. No, the humans aren't necessary, but trying to create a world larger than most people expect can cause such confusion. I regret nothing and am using this story to develops and possibly make some changes. There's a niche for everything on this site and I understand not everyone is going to like my writings. Most of them are tied together. Your thoughts are appreciated and thank you for commenting!
Very cute, though the main thing that impresses me is how Celestia's water breaks and spontaneously evaporates.
4614507 I wanted to keep it rated 'Everyone', so I skipped out on that (probably could have dwelled on that a little bit).
Eh, what's done is done. I'll fix it after the contest. Would not be fair to do so during the judging.
4614635 Oh! no problem.
I was just teasing, though I think her water breaking could still be appropriate. Either way, very cute and fun.
4586622
Is it sombra?
4626439 Nope.
Alright, you got me interested. When you do go back and edit it, I kinda hope you keep the humans in, even if for the sole fact of addressing them. And you know, the whole deal with Harold.
4640956 I'll wait until after the contest and take stock of where it stands. You've given me something to think about. Thank you for favoriting it!
Now pardon me while I go have a heart attack after having one of the site's moderators remark on one of my stories.
Hmmm the father is Soarin.