• Member Since 5th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen June 24th

Dash Attack


Aspiring film editor. When I write I shoot for awesome and nothing less. Anti-censorship and pro free-speech.

Sequels1

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Prince Crystal Sword knew that his mother Cadance would out live both he and his father Shining. However, after saving a pony from an attacker, he unlocks the alicorn gene with him, taking on the role of a guardian of Equestrian.

Now Crystal must endure as his he and his mother remain young. Meanwhile his father Shining continues to age, a fact with causes him great turmoil. And when the Empire is thrown into a war with the changelings, the young prince and his mortal father will fight for each others survival in the frozen tundra of the north. If Shining Armor is to die, Crystal Sword is bent on makeing sure changelings play no role in his fathers inevitable death.

This story is apart of a split timeline of the My Mortal Big Brother saga, but is also a prequel of sorts. It takes place in a universe where Shining Armor never had the nightmare that scared him into seeking immortality.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 14 )

I should read it before or after My Mortal Big Brother?

4613371 Your choice. You can even read it wile your reading the other one. That's the best part of a split timeline story. The only thing this fic might ruin is the true requirements of Alicorn hood that Discord brought up in a latter chapter of the original. Other than that, it's spoiler free.

Heaven

Hell

Two words that don't belong in ponydom.

Tartarus, a section of Hell

It's not. It's an underground prison.

4615744

edit: (both stories are about the fear of one's own death, and the fear of loss. What comes after plays a big part in that fear.)

I actually already like Crystal Sword, I actually hope we get to see him in the MMBB climax and ensure him a better life.:twilightsmile:

Wow such a good chapter and a great start to this story keep at it I enjoy your writing very much.

4628441 I glad to hear that! Making these stories and seeing how much people like them has been a wonderful experience and great hobby for me. Who, knows, maybe one day I'll wright a real novel.

4615744

are you seriously going to sperg about this of all things

I'm going to upvote this fic and follow it, partly because I support authors who have a broader view of language than your fedora-tipping seems to allow.

4634775

Get more mad, nerd. I don't give a fuck about shitlords like you. I tell it like it is. Get on mah level.

4638778 Wow, usually I love critics (since I tend to be one myself) but seriously, grow up; at the very least, learn some grammar.

On a more positive note, this story looks like it is going to be very exciting. I did notice a few errors though,
*Twilight asks twice if they have decided on a name, without any reference to asking previously (i.e. impatience for response, forgot, etc.)
*Shining claims that he and Cadence decided on a name previously, but then they discuss what the name should be a couple minutes later. This should be a flashback or just change what he said to "We have a few ideas, but haven't decided yet" or something similar.
*The description says that 'Life can be wired...' when I think you meant 'Life can be weird...'.

Still, I'm gonna give you a thumb and a fav since I want to see where this goes.

4639726 Thank you, though be warned, grammar is not my speciality. If you're ever in the mood for editing, let me know. I'll gladly give you a link to chapter two when is finished.

Also, with regards to CherryPop, he's actually a friend of mine from college. He was being a hot head when he made the first comment, but he already apologized to me via a PM

4639794 I'd like to, but with my job I only get an hour or two of free time each night to balance between stories and my TV shows; so, no guarantees, but I can always try.

I'm Shocked that the story is well done hopefully you make more chapters when you get the time of course....

6014975 Not sure why you would be "Shocked". Maybe because its a spin-off, or perhaps you read the original thought it was a bit rough. I unfortunately have decided I want to focus on the main story before I do any sequels or spin offs. Considering how ambitious my writing tends to be once I start, I don't have time to start writing another novel and keep the original story moving forward.

I'm glad you see potential in this adulterant story, but I just don't think I can mange it, at least not right now.

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