Bricks in the Wall

by _NAME_

Chapter Sixteen: Where the Hell Are You? (Part One)

Chapter Sixteen

Where the Hell Are You? (Part One)

Don't know where...

...don't know when...

...but I'll know we'll meet again...

...some sunny day...

I awoke to the harsh sting of artificial light.

It was a rather sudden and obtrusive awakening; not at all pleasant. My eyes flew open, but I couldn’t see anything. Lights and colors whirled in front of my vision, obscuring my view. I spent a few seconds taking deep gasps of air, as if a nightmare had woken me up, but I know one hadn’t.

I couldn’t remember where I was.

And it was so cold.

I waited as my vision slowly swam back into focus. The first thing I saw once I could, was the ceiling. The ceiling in question was painted with soft, billowy clouds, and happy, frolicking pegasi foals danced around them; a bright yellow sun with a smiling face on it was situated in the corner of the room.

But no, that wasn’t right, was it? The light wasn’t coming from the painted sun. It was in the middle of the room, blazing down with its severe and luminous glow. And why was it so close? But… No…The light was coming from… a single lamp stuck into the middle of the ceiling.

The next thing I noticed was that the bed I was lying in was hard and altogether uncomfortable. If it wasn’t for the slightest give in the mattress, I would’ve thought I had been sleeping on a wooden board. The rest of the bed was comparable. My head was resting on a single pillow that was so thin it might have not even have been there. The sheets, as threadbare as they were, were wound around me, tucked so tightly into the bed that I couldn’t move an inch. I couldn’t even manage to move my head. I could only continue to stare at the ceiling in confusion.

And it was so very quiet.

Quiet…

Too quiet. Too quiet! Too quiet! Too quiet!

I felt as if the air was pressing down on me, the silence slowly seeping into my head, setting my head ablaze. I didn’t like the silence. I could feel it contaminating me. It was everywhere and I couldn’t escape it. I couldn’t! I—

A tune sprung to the forefront of my burning consciousness and I hummed it so I could chase away the dreaded silence. I struggled against the sheets of my bed for a moment, hoping that I could loosen them and escape, but I couldn’t. I was in a room, trapped in a well-tucked bed, with only these smiling, painted pegasi for company, and I couldn’t remember why…

I…

Wait…

I couldn’t remember anything…

I stopped my struggle as that single thought sunk in. I couldn’t remember anything.

Where was I?

I couldn’t remember anything past the few minutes since I had woken up. Everything was blank. Everything that I was, my entire life, was gone. My past was lost to me, and… And…

Who was I?

I scoured my mind for any glimmer of a memory, a stray thought, anything. Anything to tell me who I was. Anything that could help ease this growing panic I felt rising in my chest.

But there was nothing except the smiling pegasi painted on the ceiling above.

Pegasi. That was something wasn’t it? They were… What were they…? Ponies with wings. Flying, living, breathing, talking ponies.

I was a pony, I think. That word seemed to mean something. I moved my hooves. I flicked my ears. I swished my tail as well as I could under the sheets. My eyes moved back and forth across the ceiling. My nose twitched. I was a pony.

Pony.

I listed things I knew: The bed was confining and uncomfortable; I was in a room filled with cold, harsh light; The ceiling was painted with something more fit for a foal; This was a room that hopefully had four walls, one ceiling, one floor, a door, and windows; I was a pony; I could remember identify body parts and little generic things.

But I couldn’t remember who I was.

Pegasi.

Pegasi. Unicorns. Earth Ponies.

Unicorn.

Pegasus.

Earth pony.

I was an Earth Pony, wasn’t I? Unicorns had horns. Pegasi had wings. I tried fluttering my wings, but found nothing. I tried channeling magic into my horn, but nothing happened. I had neither. I was an Earth Pony. Silly name for a race. Why didn’t we get a special name like unicorns or pegasi?

Name.

But my name… My name was… It was…

…

…

…Gray…

…

My name was Gray. Nothing more, nothing less. I was Gray, an Earth Pony with a gray coat, fuchsia eyes and a light-brown mane. That was what I was.

At least, I think I had a that was what I looked like; I couldn’t remember exactly, but they seemed to fit. I seemed to work.

I breathed a sigh of relief. There was something gratifying and joyful about remembering something as important as my name. It was my identity, my only place in life.

Gray.

I struggled against the bed sheets with renewed vigor. I had to get out of this infernal bed and out of this room. I had to. I had to stop looking at the foals above me. I needed to get out and find out where I was and who I was and why I couldn’t remember anything.

But first I had to get the sheets off of me.

Just then, a door somewhere to the left of me creaked open. “Pink…?” I stopped fighting against my restraints and swiveled an ear towards the noise. “Pink, are you awake yet?” It was a feminine voice, a mare’s voice, slightly hesitant, but gentle and full of concern.

I groaned and heard the quietest gasp of worry from the mare. “Oh Pink,” she said, “Are you alright?” Her words filled my mind to the brim, eagerly drinking up the reprieve from the silence. I clenched my eyes together and tried to hold on the feeling of sound. I felt something soft and furry brush against my forehead. “Oh! You’re burning up! I’ll get you out of those sheets, okay?”

There was motion down by my hooves and I felt the constricting cloth finally lift off of my body. I managed to lift my head off of the pillow just enough to look forward slightly. Standing at the foot of my bed was the mare that had entered the room. She was a green unicorn with a flaming red and orange mane that fell in long strands around her face. A plain white vest modestly covered her body, a red cross emblazoned on the side, denoting her as a nurse.

…She… seemed… familiar?

…Did she?

She glanced up at me and smiled. I noticed she had blue eyes, sparkling blue eyes. “Good.” Her voice was like medicine to my mind. “Those sheets were a little bit tight, huh?” She yanked the offending objects off of me and threw them to the floor. “There.” She smiled again, flashing her set of white teeth at me. “I’m sure that feels better already.”

And it did. The panic that had set in from the silence was subsiding already, receding to a minuscule throbbing. The mare sauntered over to me and placed a hoof on my forehead again. “Oh good, that seemed to work! You look better already. How do you feel?”

Cautiously, I sat up and glanced around the room I was in. My eyes first alighted on a small desk in the corner of the room and what looked like a journal of some sort lying on it. Next to my bed was a worn side table that was bolted to the wall and a lamp that looked like it had seen better days. In another corner was a potted plant that was probably fake. On the other side of my bed was an impressive steel door that looked as if it belonged to a bank. And, opposite my bed, was one window, set up near the ceiling, sealed with iron bars and much too small for a pony to fit through.

I glanced back at the mare who was watching me expectantly. “Ohh…” I grumbled, “I’m…” My tongue felt leaden and fuzzy, almost as if I hadn’t used it in years. I managed to force my voice out, struggling to form the right words. “…I’m… guh-good… I... Ummm… Thanks…”

She brushed a strand of hair out of her face. “You’re welcome Pink.”

And there was that name again. Pink. Who was Pink? The mare obviously had me confused with somepony else; my name was Gray. Gray. It wasn’t much of a normal pony name, but it was mine and it was me. I had just remembered it, after all.

The mare continued, unabated by my confusion. “Now, come on, we let you sleep in a bit late after last night, but we have to go now.” She gently nudged me to the edge of the bed. I sat on the edge for a moment, inspecting my body, trying to remember anything, but nothing bubbled to the forefront of my mind.

I was a gray earth pony. I had gotten that part right. My mane was curly and brown and was so long that it hung down in front of my eyes; my tail was the same. I was by no means muscular, but at cursory glance, I could tell that I never neglected exercise. I craned my head to look at my flank, hoping to see what my cutie mark was, but found nothing but blank gray fur.

I had no cutie mark.

I had only been awake for a few minutes and I already more questions than I could ever hope to find answers for. My mind felt as if I had been hit by a hammer; I had to relax for a few seconds to let myself catch up with everything that happened since I woke up.

The mare finally seemed to notice my confusion and walked closer to me. “Are you sure that you’re okay Pink? If you’re not, I can always tell one of the doctors…”

“Oooohhhhh…” I rubbed my temples and looked at the mare who was watching me with such concern. I decided to take a chance and try and get an answer to one of my questions. I licked my lips and tried to string together a sentence. “Where… Where am I…?” My voice was little more than a whisper.

The green mare’s smile fell. “Pink… Oh Celestia, you can’t remember anything, can you?”

“Mmmnnnfff…” I waved a hoof in her general direction, gently rubbing my head with my other hoof. “Name’s not Pink... Not puh-Pink… Uhhhh…. Gray, name’s Gray…”

The mare chuckled apprehensively, visibly uneasy. “Oh… Oh-Okay Gray, I uhhhhh… I guess you can’t remember anything?” I nodded and she took a deep breath. “O-okay, well... they told me that you might suffer some memory loss, so I suppose that it’s not unexpected.” Her tail flicked back and forth. “Okay, allow me to reintroduce myself. I am Nurse Dreams. I work here.”

I groaned. “But where is here?” I coughed, feeling something dislodge itself from my throat. “W-What is this place? Why am I in this room?” My eyes widened in sudden realization. “You said you’re a nurse! Am I… Am I sick or something? What happened?”

“Oh Pink…” she whispered. Her blue eyes glistened with tears.

“Who’s Pink!?” I shouted at Dreams, my voice suddenly finding power again. “Why do you keep calling me that?” I sank into the bed. “My… My name’s not—It’s not… I…” My rant sputtered out. “Why… Why do you keep calling me Pink…?” I looked at her, almost pathetically.

Dreams looked sad for a moment; only for a moment and then it was gone. “Pinkerton.” she explained, “That’s your full name. You…” Her eyes met mine; blue and magenta. “You always went by Pink though. You always liked that better. It was your favorite color and everything.”

“But—But I don’t…” I stuttered, trying to convey what I was thinking. “I can’t… I’m not… My name is Gray!” I finished, angrily. “I don’t remember Pink or Pinkerton or whatever! I’m Gray, okay? My name is Gray… I…”

She nodded. “A-alright… Gray, just… calm down… Now, come on, let’s go. We’ll be late.” She opened the door open and I slid off the bed, landing unsteadily on my hooves. I trembled for a moment before finding my balance. Dream’s smile widened as I erratically trotted past her.

The hallway outside was even more sterile than the room I was in. The ceiling, for one, wasn’t painted with anything special; it was just a boring, stark white. Harsh, white lights lined the ceiling every few steps, illuminating every shadow. The floors consisted of cold tile that stretched everywhere. There were emotionless steel doors, like the one to my room, at even intervals down the hall.

Something seemed… wrong.

Dreams closed the door behind me, a loud band reverberating through the empty halls. “There,” she said, “Now we can get going. Come on… Gray.”

We walked down the hallway for a few seconds before I realized what was wrong. It was devoid of any life, let alone any patients. Most hospitals I knew of were bustling with activity. All the doctors, patients and visitors couldn’t all have been away, could they?

“This is pretty empty for a hospital. Where is everypony?” I asked, voicing my concerns.

The mare coughed. “Oh, well they’re all down at the cafeteria right now. It’s about noon—lunchtime. We let you sleep in on account of yesterday. We’re going down there right now.”

I stopped walking. “We’re going d-down to the cafeteria? With other ponies?”

Dreams smiled her smile. “Yes. Is that a problem Gray? If you think it’ll be too much for you too soon, we don’t have to go. But I think seeing some familiar faces might jog your memory a bit. It might do some good…”

“I… I have friends here…?” I hesitantly trotted after the nurse.

“Of course you do Pink—Gray!” she revised herself, “Gray, sorry. Ummm… But yes, you have a nice, tight-knit group of friends. It’s very cute. A circle of pony friends, till the very end, as the saying goes. I’m sure they’ll be excited to know you’re up and about again.”

I gulped. Friends? I couldn’t remember anything, let alone other ponies. Hell, Nurse Dreams seemed somewhat familiar, but whenever I cast my mind back into the past, there was only blackness.

The idea of meeting somepony I used to know terrified me. What would they think? What if I acted differently before the amnesia? I didn't know how to talk to them or any inside jokes we might’ve had. Should I act nonchalant when I meet them or were they expecting a teary reunion? I didn’t know how to act like Gray. I didn’t know how to act like their Gray. Who was I, really? What if I messed up, or what if I—

“Hey,” Dreams wrapped me in a side-hug, breaking my train of thought. She must’ve noticed how nervous I was and wanted to comfort me. “It’s alright Gray. Don’t worry. They’ll accept you, no matter what. Amnesia couldn’t even separate you guys.”

I nodded. “I… uhh… W-what are their names…?”

“Well,” she said, “There’s Marmalade, Broom and Starshine. They’re your closest friends, but you’re on good terms with just about everypony in here.” She chuckled. “Oh, and I suppose you can count me as your friend as well. Now, come on, we don’t want to miss lunch. I’m starved!”

Dreams sped up, quickly rounding a corner and disappeared from sight. She left me all alone. She wasn’t the best nurse ever, leaving amnesiac patients behind, but there was nothing to do. I felt silence once again settle in around me. So very quiet. My heart quickened in my chest and I could see the walls begin close in on me. Why was it so quiet? I bit my lip and started to hum again. Anything to make sound.

Quiet.

I shook my head and hurried after the nurse hoping I could find her in the identical hallways. In the interval, I tried to come to terms with everything that I had learned, or relearned, I suppose, since I had woken up a few minutes ago.

Here was Nurse Dreams, the first and only pony I met since I woke up with amnesia. She seemed nice enough, if a bit absent-minded, and there was something oddly familiar about her, even if I couldn’t quite place it.

My friends, if I could even call them that anymore, were apparently worried about me. Though, I was slightly confused about how I came to have friends in here of all places. In most hospitals, you didn’t stay there long enough to make many friends.

Were they friends that I was admitted with? Had we all taken part in the same accident that caused my amnesia? And why were all the patients in the cafeteria? The sick and infirm couldn’t have gotten out of their beds and walked somewhere just so they could eat.

And why did the ceiling of my room have pegasi foals on it?

There were so many questions I didn’t know the answers to yet. I would’ve liked to have asked some of them.

I turned another corner to see Dreams waiting impatiently for me in front a pair of double doors labeled ‘Cafeteria.’. “Well, here it is, Pi—Gray. You ready?” She glanced at me and I nodded at her. The doors were wrapped in her magical aura and they swung open.

The room inside was crowded; more crowded than I would have thought safe for a hospital to allow. The room itself was spacious and ponies sat at neat rows of white tables that filled the floor. Along the far wall was the lunch line; mares with bored expressions and hairnets stood behind the counter, dolloping portions of whatever food they were serving that day onto the trays of waiting ponies.

At every doorway, including the one we had just entered, stood two or three light-blue, muscled stallions. Their faces were stoic and unreadable and were all wearing uniforms not unlike the one Dreams was wearing, though much more masculine. I wasn’t entirely sure why they were there, but I certainly wouldn’t want to mess with them.

Dreams and I walked past the stallions and into the room proper. There were ponies of all sorts sitting down at the tables or getting food from the counter. It was all very tidy and contained. Everypony was either doing one thing or the other.

I liked it.

And it was so loud. Not quiet at all.

Dreams nudged me. “Come on Gray; let’s go get some food before it’s all gone. We’re a bit late as it is.”

I nodded absentmindedly and tailed Dreams up to the counter, weaving through the crowd. She levitated two trays from a stack and set them on the counter. I peered over the counter at the food they were serving. It was definitely hospital food.

I hovered by Dreams as she plodded through the line and got some food for the two of us. I took a quick glance at my tray and saw some sort of soggy hay, what appeared to be carrots, and some unidentifiable green leaves. Just great.

Dreams hesitated at the end of the line. She was peering through the throng of ponies seated at the tables, obviously looking for somepony, though I had no idea who.

I nudged her. “Who’re you looking for?”

“I was hoping a few of your friends were here, but I don’t see of them.” she responded without taking her eyes off of the crowd. “It’s likely that they’ve already left. They always like to eat early.” She sighed and looked back at me. “Ah well… Too bad. You’ll definitely see them tomorrow though, so there’s always that.” She gently pushed me forward. “Come on! Let’s go find a table!”

We spent the next few minutes weaving through the crowded room looking for two available seats and eventually found an empty space between two light-blue unicorns who didn’t seem to notice us.

We sat down and Dreams began eating almost immediately, nearly wolfing down her food. To be perfectly honest, I wasn’t all that hungry and the food in front of me wasn’t doing much to pique my appetite. I absentmindedly poked at with a fork and felt my thoughts begin to drift off once again.

At least it was loud in here.

It seemed like a strange sort of hospital. There were so many patients, nurses and doctors crowded together, chatting with each other, Very few ponies looked visibly sick, but there were a hoofful that looked… strange… Something about them was off. And then there were the stallions standing at every entrance. They were tough, surly ponies that, if I didn’t know any better, I would have figured them for guards. But guards for what or for whom?

“’Eeyyy Pinky!” came a lilting voice from behind me.

This place certainly wasn’t a normal hospital in any sense of the world. It was almost like…

Dreams nudged me. “Gray, he’s talking to you! Don’t be rude!”

I snapped out of my thoughts. “What? Huh? Who-who’s talking?” I looked at Dreams and followed her gaze to a middle-aged, graying griffon sitting in across from me. He peered at me over a pair of tiny glasses perched on his beak, which was split in a smirk.

“’Ey Pinky.” slurred the griffon again. “You look like ‘ell. Wot’s goin’ on wit youse?”

I blinked and looked back at Dreams who sighed and smiled at the avian across from us. “Gerald, Pink here had recently undergone a new treatment, one that has, unfortunately, left him with a bit of amnesia. He can’t remember anything past when he woke up a little while ago.”

The griffon, Gerald, I assumed, let loose a loud, trilling whistle. “Wowie, laddie. These fuckers sure did a number on you, didn’t they?”

“Gerald! Language!” scolded Dreams.

The griffon scoffed. “Ohh, shut up Nurse Dreams. You ain’t gonna do nothin’.”

Dreams gazed into Gerald’s eyes, the anger in her voice just barely controlled. “I can always tell one of the other nurses. I’m sure you wouldn’t like a visit from Nurse Ratchet again.” She leered at him.

“Oh no!” feigned Gerald with mock surprise. “Whatever will I do?” He chuckled, his beak clicking together. “Ratchet wouldn’t listen to you. She don’t trust you anymore than she trusts any me or any of the other loonies in ‘ere!”

I had been following the entire conversation, steadily become more and more confused as it went on. Dreams was a nurse. So, surely she had plenty of authority to report Gerald and whatever rules he was breaking.

Dreams hissed as Gerald finished speaking. Practically lunging across the table, she wrapped a hoof around the griffon’s neck and yanked his head lower. “Shush!” she whispered, “You know we don’t use words like that in here! We’re all just ponies here and we’re all just trying to get better!”

Gerald shoved Dreams off of him and leaned back up, rubbing his neck. “Sheesh, lass, no need to get all uppity ‘bout it. Don’t need no unwanted attention.”

I spoke up before Dreams had a chance to respond. “What’re you two talking about? What’s going on?”

Gerald looked at me incredulously. “Oh, they really fucked you up, didn’t they laddie? Don’t you know where you are?” Dreams’ eyes widened and she attempted to grab the griffon again. Gerald dodged her arms and his smile widened even more as I shook my head no.

“Ohhoho!” He chuckled, realization spreading across his face. “Dreams didn’t tell you what this place is, did she?”
“Is…” I hesitated. “Isn’t this a hospital…?”

Dreams banged the table with one of her hooves. “Gerald please! I was going to tell him after he had a bit to acclimate!”
But the gray bird paid her no mind. “Oh, this is a ‘ospital alright, Pink.” His near predatory smile widened. “But this isn’t any old ‘ospital.” He gestured around him, spreading his arms wide, “This is the Fletcher Memorial Psychiatric Institute, ‘ome for the incurable and Equestria’s crazies!”

My jaw fell open.

A mental asylum?!

What—

How—

Why was in here?

I wasn’t crazy! I…

…Right…?

Was I insane? I didn’t feel crazy. I wasn’t hallucinating, talking to myself, or, or, or, or, or, or, or…

I was thinking straight. Yes. I had full control over my body. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with me. What did crazy feel like?

I looked at Dreams. “When we you planning on telling me that?!” I admonished her, “That’s a pretty big thing to not tell me! I… I…” I ran a hoof through my mane and whimpered. “Tell me Dreams… Am I— Am I crazy…?”

Dreams sighed and shot Gerald a venomous look before turning back towards me. “Yes… Yes, Gray, this is a mental institution, and you are a patient here for several years. You underwent a new treatment yesterday morning, which is the cause of your memory loss…. I… I’m sorry Gray, I…”

I could hear Gerald laughing as I cradled my head in my forehooves. “What-What’s wrong with me Dreams? Why am I in here?” I sputtered.

“That’s probably a good question to ask Doctor. He’s your, well, doctor. I was going to take you to him after we finished eating. I’m not… I…” She lapsed into silence, muttering under her breath.

Gerald spoke up again, taking full control of the quiet. “Oh, Pinky, I bet you aren’t feelin’ too good now, huh? Haha!” He slapped Dreams on the arm playfully and she clutched her hoof tight to her chest as if she was afraid he was going to cut it off. “And, it gets even better, laddie! Go on and ask Dreams why the other nurses don’t trust ‘er! Ha! Ask ‘er what happened six years ago! Ask ‘er why she lied to you!”

The griffon stood up abruptly, violently spreading his wings into a group of ponies behind him, knocking them over. He slammed a fist on the table, his eyes alive with anger. “Pink, you ask that lying bitch of a mare ‘ow she sleeps at night, knowing that she’s living a lie!” He was shouting now, flailing his arms and wings wildly. “You ask that fucking bitch why she can’t ever set hoof outside this building! Ask her—No! Get your fucking hooves off me, you bastards! Don’t you come near me! Get off!”

A few of the large stallions from around the room had galloped over to our table. One grabbed Gerald’s arms, pinning them to his side. “Please stop sir. If you continue we’ll have to restrain you.” The stallion spoke calmly, but with such a forceful power that I almost felt compelled to follow his instructions.

But the griffon didn’t hear him. He was still screaming at me, though by now his words had degraded into incoherent screeching. Spittle flew from his mouth as he fought against the large stallions. He managed to force the first orderly off of him, but was immediately bound by another’s magical grip.

Dreams put a hoof across my chest, as if that would protect me.

And still the griffon struggled, screaming obscenities at the entire room, even as they slipped a muzzle around his beak and locked his claws and wings together with cuffs. I could still hear his muffled cries through the cover. I could see every muscle in his body straining against the magical grip and cuffs, yearning to be free.

Then, as suddenly as it happened, they floated Gerald away and out one of the doors, leaving the cafeteria deathly still. Dreams was sobbing into the crook of her foreleg, her loud, drawn out wails the only sound in the room.

“I’m sorry that he disturbed you two.” said one of the orderlies to us. “It seems we have to cart him out of here every other week. Damn violent fits. He didn’t hurt you or anything?” I shook my head and the stallion smiled. “That’s good. Don’t want Ratchet on my tail for failing to protect the patients, right Pink?”

I frowned. Yet another Pony I didn’t remember. “Err… sure…” I responded, “Whatever you say…”

The stallion blinked, realizing there was something wrong with me. After a few seconds he groaned and smacked his face. “Oh right. The amnesia thing?” I nodded. “Yeah, they told us about that. Must suck...” He smacked his lips together and glanced at a clock on the wall. “Well, I better go Pink. We’ll catch up sometime, alright?”

And with that, he trotted off, leaving me alone with a sobbing mare. I watched the orderly walk away and disappear into the throng of patients. I sighed. “My name is Gray…” I slumped down and stared straight ahead of me, trying to sort out everything that had just happened.

I was in an asylum, surrounded my lunatics of varying degrees of insanity, as just evidenced by Gerald’s complete breakdown. My memories were still drawing blanks and it appeared that I needed more and more use of them as time went on. How was I going to survive in a place like this with no idea who I am?

And then there was Dreams who was apparently keeping another secret from me, one disturbing enough to Gerald that he lapsed into a fit of rage because of it.

He said that none of the other nurses and doctors trusted her word. What had happened six years ago?

I looked at the prone form of Dreams hunched over the table. I reached out a hoof and wrapped it around her neck, pulling her closer. She looked at me, her face stained with tears, and I held her gaze. We sat that way for several moments before she spoke up. “I’m… I’m sorry…”

“What for? What was Gerald talking about?” I smiled at her, for a change.

She shook her head. “No… No… I can’t—I don’t think I can… I can’t tell you here, alright? I can’t tell you now… Just… I’m sorry…”

“Hey…” I awkwardly patted her hoof. “It’s okay. I accept your apology. Don’t worry. You’re a great nurse.”

She sniffed and rubbed her eyes. “You’re a good friend Pink. I wish the other patients were like you.” She hiccupped. “Heck, I wish my colleagues were like you.”

We lapsed into silence as the rest of the ponies in the cafeteria went back to their own conversations. It seemed disturbances like that were normal at asylums.

Sometime later, as the rest of the patients and nurses began to file out of the room, Dreams took me to go see my doctor for my first check-up and reintroductions. As she led me through the identical white halls, now bustling with activity, I wondered how anypony could navigate these corridors without getting lost. Even if I had my memory, I doubted that I could find my way through here without a guide.

She eventually led me to a set of double doors that she pushed open as we neared them. The room inside was the exact opposite of the sterile, cold hospital I had already grown used to. The floor was lined with thick, deep red carpeting and wood paneling covered the walls. There were at least five bookshelves crammed into the tiny room and whatever space was left was taken up by a couch and a small table.

It was completely bizarre to walk into a room like this after spending so long in that clean, white maze of hallways just behind us. Dreams noticed my amazement and chuckled. “Yeah, it nice, isn’t it? Definitely warmer and more inviting than the rest of the building, huh?”

“It’s nice,” I agreed, “Much more homely than out there.”

Our gazes met for a moment and I noticed how clear and sparkling her blue eyes really were. I felt a slight twinge of recognition deep inside me as we stared at each other…

She broke the stare suddenly, her cheeks burning as red as her mane. She pushed some hair out of her eyes and sighed. “Well,” she said, “shall we get you to Doctor?”

I nodded numbly and trailed after her over to a heavy wooden door on the far side of the room. My head was spinning. I was so sure I had remembered something, but it wasn’t there anymore…

Her eyes…

I knew I had seen them before…

But I had seen them, all throughout my first day here and presumably countless days before I forgot everything. But, something still seemed…different…

Dreams’ weighty knocks on the door snapped me out of my reverie. A voice came from the other room, “Come in!”

Dreams and I strode into the office. It was everything you would expect from a doctor’s office. There was a desk up against the far wall with a red velvet chair behind it. On the wall next to that was a large bank of windows, curtains drawn across them for Dreams’ benefit. Bookshelves lined another whole wall and a small record player sat on a side table next to a lamp.

In the middle of the room were two cushions on the floor, but only one was occupied. In one sat a grinning, middle-aged, light blue unicorn stallion, who I could only assume was Doctor, wearing a bowtie and a tweed suit coat a few sizes too small for him.

“Ah! Pink, Dreams!” exclaimed the stallion, motioning us to come in, “How are you two doing this fine afternoon?” And then without waiting for a response, he continued. “So, Dreams, how is our Pink doing since he woke up?”

Dreams smiled at him. “Hello Doctor. Er… Pink, or Gray, as he insists to be called now, has suffered some amnesia. I’ll write up a report later. But, it’s pretty serious, right Gray?”

The two of them turned to look at me and I realized they were waiting for me to say something. “Oh! Uhh, yeah… I can’t remember anything, Doctor. Everything prior to waking up this afternoon is just a big, empty space in my head. It’s a bit unsettling, to tell you the truth.”

Doctor nodded and scribbled something down on a clipboard in his lap. After a moment, he glanced up. “Alright, Dreams, you can go now. Pink and I have some things to discuss about these new developments.” He smiled. “Thank you as always. You’ve been a tremendous help.”

Dreams dipped her head respectfully and exited the room, the door closing behind her with a thud.

It was quiet again. Doctor was examining something on his clipboard and the only sound that I could hear was the ticking of the clock on the wall next to me. I was still standing where Dreams had left me and I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to sit down or not.

It was so quiet. I gulped and tapped my hoof nervously. The air was thick and uncomfortable.

Tick-tock went the clock.

Doctor Doctor looked up from his notes and noticed that I still was standing. “You can sit down Pink, I’ll just be a moment.”

I plodded over to the empty cushion and laid down, sinking into the fabric slightly. “It’s Gray,” I drearily corrected the stallion.

Doctor looked back up again, his brow furrowed. “Excuse me, what was that?” His quill hung in midair, momentarily forgotten.

I sighed. “It’s… It’s the amnesia. I… The only thing I can remember is my name: Gray. I don’t remember ever being called Pink, even if everypony had been calling me that. I’d prefer to just be called Gray, if—if you don’t mind…”

The stallion set down his clipboard and quill. He blinked. “Alrighty Gray.” He said Gray lightly, as if he had never said it before. “I’m sure this is all very confusing for you. You probably have some questions, so I’ll try my best to give you a rundown of everything, alright?”

I nodded.

“Good,” he said, “Now, you are in the Fletcher Memorial Psychiatric Institute, top mental hospital in Equestria. You can see Fletcher, our founder, behind my desk.” He gestured to a painting of a bespectacled dark blue pegasus stallion who was smiling calmly out at the two of us. He looked nice, and….

Doctor continued. “You were admitted to this facility eighteen years ago after a particularly nasty bout of psychosis made you attack an elderly couple and their nephew, believing that they were terrifying creatures.”

With every word of that sentence, I felt my heart drop like a stone. I had hurt ponies? I hallucinated? Shit, just how messed up was I?

Tick-tock.

Doctor seemed to notice my feelings because he stopped and smiled in that calm, reassuring way that doctors do. “Are you alright Pi—Gray? If this is too much, we can always stop. I’m sure this is a lot to take in in just a few hours.”

I took a deep breath and ran my tongue along my lips. “No. No, it’s alright. You can keep going, Doc. I’d, uh… I’d like to know what’s wrong with me, if that’s possible…”

Doctor scrutinized me for a moment, staring directly at me with his unblinking light blue pupils. I wasn’t sure what he was looking at, but after a few chilling silent moments, he nodded and picked up his clipboard, flipping a few pages in.

“Alrighty, Gray, here we go.” He took a deep breath. “We have, over the years, determined that you have delusions of grandeur, Dissociative Identity Disorder, paranoia, Auditory and Visionary Schizophrenia, an extreme case of Sedatephobia, and Obsessive Compulsive Tendencies.”

I blinked. “Umm…”

“But,” interrupted Doctor, “We have treated many of these ailments to the point where they are virtually nonexistent. When you came to us, you were highly delusional, quiet, antisocial and often times violent. But now, your personality is stable, you haven’t deluded yourself that you are somepony famous, your panic attacks have subsided and your Schizophrenia has all but vanished.”

He smiled. “In fact, the only symptoms that continue to plague you are the OCPD and Sedatephobia, which were never too much trouble to keep in check. Of course, this all might have changed now since yesterday. Tell me, does silence still bother you?

My ear itched. I scratched it. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ve noticed that. Whenever there has been silence, I’ve started to get really freaked out. I…” I hesitated, “That’s a real thing? Fear of silence? I’m afraid of silence?”

Doctor set his clipboard back down. “Yes Gray, you are. Very bad, too…” He trailed off and glanced at the record player over near the bookshelves. He stood up and trotted over to it. “In fact, I completely forgot to play some music for background noise like we always do. Sorry Pin… Gray.” He stooped down and rummaged through a stack of albums beside the table.

After a few moments he stood back up, grasping a record with his magic. “Let’s try your favorite song today, alrighty? Maybe it’ll bring back some memories.” He set the disc down and slotted the needle into the groove. The record player sparked to life and after a few moments of muteness came blaring trumpets and the most angelic, fragile voice.

“We’ll meet again,
Don’t know where, don’t know when,
But I know we’ll meet again, some sunny day…

…Keep smiling through,
Just the way you do,
‘Till the blue skies chase those dark clouds far away…”

“Alrighty, Gray,” said Doctor, talking over the music, “Is there anything else you’d like to know before we move on?”

My gaze drifted away from the record player and back to Doctor. I tapped one of my hooves on the floor absentmindedly. “Umm…” I thought for a moment. “What—What’s this treatment thing that made me lose my memory. What did you do to me?”

Doctors face fell and he cleared his throat, obviously uneasy about the situation. “Well…” he began, “I can’t tell you.
I snorted and leapt off of the cushion. “What do you mean you can’t tell me?” I stated suspiciously, “Don’t I have a right to know what happened to me?”

The stallion nodded and got up too, placing a hoof around my neck. I grunted and tried to break away, but he held me close. “I’m sorry Gray,” he whispered, “I can tell you it was highly experimental and that you knew the risks going in, but other than that, there’s nothing I can say. You didn’t want to remember. You went into the operation hoping that you would develop amnesia, and even I did not know your reasons behind it.” He sighed and turned away. “I’m… I’m sorry, but I’m not going to tell you what happened to you.”

I sighed and collapsed into my cushion. Why did I not want myself to know what happened to me? Why did I want to forget everything at the cost of possible becoming better…?

What did I do to myself?

Doctor cleared his throat,. “Now, is there anything else you would like to know?”

I regarded at him for a few seconds, racking my brain for anything else I would like to know. Doctor’s eyes flittered around the room, unwilling to meet my gaze. “Actually…” I began, “There is something I’d like to know. Why don’t I have a cutie mark? Did I never find my special talent?”

The light blue stallion looked confused. “What are you talking about? Of course you have a cutie mark Gray. It’s right there on your flank.”

I twisted my head around to look at my flanks. I was sure I hadn’t seen anything on my flanks when I looked that afternoon, but maybe I had missed something in my disorientation after waking up.

But there was nothing there. My haunches were covered with the same gray fur as the rest of my body. I looked back at Doctor, my head tilted in confusion. “No I don’t.” I said, “What are you talking about, Doc?”

The stallion stared at me hesitantly, his eyes unblinking. “Yes. You do Gray. I can see it right now.”

I leapt up and craned my neck in an attempt to see my behind better. Was I really that blind? But no… my cutie mark wasn’t there. I looked back at the unicorn. “I still can’t see it.” I hesitated. “Can… Can you tell me what it is then?” I asked in a small voice.

Doctor smiled and stood up. “Of course I can Pink—Sorry. Of course I can Gray.” His eyes slid to my flank. “It’s… It’s…” He stopped for a moment, staring at the spot my cutie mark should have been. His eyes drifted up to my face and he grinned again. “Oh… Gray, you must be so tired. Waking up and discovering that, not only can you not remember anything, but also that you’ve been in a mental institution for years must be horribly taxing on your mind. I can’t believe I’ve kept you this long. You should be resting…”

“That didn’t answer my question!” I shouted at the doctor.

“Now, I think we’ve covered enough today.” He continued, unabated, “I’ll let Dreams know she can come and escort you back to your room.” he turned away and picked up his clipboard again, “Now, I think we can schedule another appointment sometime next week, how does that sound?”

“I—I guess that sound alright, but Doc, what does my cutie—”

“Good!” He floated the clipboard over to his desk and came over to stand in front of me. “Now, I think that we’ll have to keep you under observation for a minimum of three months until we can see if the treatment was a success of not. I think that, based on today, things look promising. Besides the amnesia, you don’t seem to be having much mental trouble. That’s good.”

He ushered me towards the door and opened it, practically pushing me out of it. “Now, Dreams should be along any second. Just wait out here until she comes along, alright? I’ll see you next week.”

And with that he shut the door, abruptly ending our session and stranding me outside of his office. I groaned in exasperation and leaned against the wall. This day had been one adventure after another.

I needed a drink, but they probably didn’t serve alcohol here.

Why did Doctor tell me that he could see my cutie mark, only to gloss over it moments later and rush me out of the room? It was almost like he couldn’t see it either, but believed that it was there. But did I really not have one? Did I really manage to get through almost half of my life and not discover what I was meant to do?

I tapped a hoof on the tile floor, desperate for there to be some sort of noise in the ever oppressive silence.

I had to cure my amnesia, I realized. That was the only way I would ever get any answers. But how would I go about doing that? Everypony I had interacted with today didn’t spark any sort of recognition in my mind, besides the occasional twinge of familiarity. My mind was still as blank as a slate.

“Oh, hello Gray. Are you ready to go?” My head snapped up to see the green form of Dreams standing in front of me. She extended a hoof down and I grasped it, letting her help me off of the floor.

“Dreams,” I blurted out, “What does my cutie mark look like?”

The mare frowned and craned her head to look at my flank. “I… It’s...” She pursed her lips. “Just look yourself. It’s not like you’re blind.” She chuckled. “Now come on. I’d like to get you to bed so I can get some shut-eye myself. It’s getting late.” She trotted off without me, leaving me to play catch-up again.

She didn’t seem to be able to actually see my cutie mark either, but firmly believed that I had one. I decided not to press the subject again for a while.

As we walked down the corridors in silence, I hummed a little tune to myself. I wasn’t sure where I knew the melody from, but I must have been unconsciously remembering it from sometime before. That meant my memories were still in my head, somewhere, just waiting…

And…

The hallways were more crowded than they had been when I woke up. Several patients and nurses milled about, doing whatever they needed to to get ready for the night. Most of my fellow lunatics seemed normal enough, now that I had a good enough look at them. Sure, there were a few that I wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alleyway, but that was to be expected in a loony bin. But, even then, as I passed by, most smiled at me and a few said hello, and I just nodded in acknowledgement, unsure how I should respond.

Before I knew it, Dreams slowed to a halt. “Well, here’s your room.” Her horn sparked to life and a key floated out of her pocket and into the door. The lock clicked and the door swung open, revealing the small room I woke up in. My room.

“In you go, Gray. Have to lock the door behind you. It’s the standard procedure, every night. You’ll get used to it,” she reassured.

I stepped into the room, my room, and turned to face her. “Lights go out in about an hour, so make sure you’re in bed by then. Normally, we make you take pills before you go to bed, but we’ll forego them tonight for you. If there are any lingering effects from the operation, we wouldn’t want the pills to interfere. Now, partway through the night, the night orderlies will come in to check and make sure everything is alright. At least pretend that you’re asleep when they come in, even if you’re not. I mean, if they catch you awake, you won’t get it too much trouble. You’re one of our more trusted patients here.”

“Oh-oh-okay…” I gulped. “So… I guess this is it then? The end of this crazy day? I just get to go to sleep and begin my new life as a mental patient tomorrow?”

The green unicorn shrugged. “I know… And I’m sorry about how confusing everything must be. Amnesia is hard on anypony and doubly so on ponies like us…” She chuckled and drew me in for a hug, squeezing my body tight. “Everything’s going to be alright Gray. I’m sure you’ll start to remember everything soon enough.”

She let me go and backed out of the room. Her magical aura flared around the door handle and it slowly swung shut. The last thing I saw before I was locked in my little room was the mare’s deep blue eyes watching me, full of concern and sadness.

Then, that too, came to an end and I was left alone.

In silence.

I felt my ear involuntarily twitch.

I stared at the spot Dreams used to occupy, wishing, hoping, that she would reappear and we could sit down and talk and do something, anything, to break this silence.

But she didn’t.

I took a deep breath and sighed, trying to let go of all the worry and confusion I felt. I tore my gaze away from the door and decided to busy myself with relearning what was in my room, which wouldn’t take that long considering its sparse furnishings.

I hummed to myself once again as I investigated my room. The potted plant in the corner was definitely plastic. I wouldn’t have thought it anything special, though upon closer inspection, there were three cards tucked in between the stems of the plant. Two of them were simple, crude, little things that were probably made by some of the other patients as get-well cards for my treatment. There was one from the three ponies Dreams said were my friends: Marmalade, Broom and Starshine. The second was from Dreams herself and was addressed to ‘My favorite patient, Pink.’

The other card was a store-bought one signed by a few of the doctors and nurses in a scrawl that I couldn’t even read.
I liked the first two much more.

My investigations moved over to my bed, which had been remade and tucked in like it had been that afternoon sometime in the intervening hours I had been out. The table next to it and the battered lamp sitting on it were unremarkable and were, in all likelihood, standard issue for every room.

I had moved on to trying to peer out of the slit in the wall that barely passed as a window when I heard some sort of speaker crackle to life. I froze, afraid that I had broken some unknown rule and I was going to be reprimanded, but nothing happened.

Instead, what I did hear was the gentle crashing of the ocean on the shore. My head tilted to the side in confusion and I quickly turned around, my eyes scanning the room for the source. Eventually, I saw a small, unassuming speaker in the top corner of the room, camouflaged by the painting on the ceiling.

The ocean noises continued for several more minutes before it faded out and was replaced by birdcalls and chirping insects. Then, that too was faded out to make room for the sound of rushing winds and distant, tolling bells.

The sounds continued like that for several more minutes before I realized that I didn’t need to hum any longer; there was no more silence pressing down on my head.

Ambient background noise was perfect for a patient who was terrified of silence. I nearly laughed out loud. I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders; they really knew how to take care of the patients here.

My attention drifted over to the desk in the corner of the room. It was bolted to both the floor and wall and was about as utilitarian as one would expect. However, on top of it was a small, unassuming, black notebook with a short pencil stuck in between its pages.

I flipped the book open to the cover page. In it, hastily scribbled in, were the words ‘Property of Pink.’ It was my journal, a diary, a notebook.

My own writing.

I opened it to the page marked by the pencil, which was almost at the end. The page was covered in neat, scrolling script, contrasting the messy scrawl that was at the beginning. There didn’t seem to be any sort of date or numbering system, so I had no idea when the entry was written. My past self didn’t exactly make it easy on my amnesiac brain.

I began reading:

Today, Needlepoint attacked Cuckoo Nest during lunch. He just started biting Cuckoo’s ear, tearing off a big chunk and swallowing it whole. There was blood everywhere. One of the other patients, Waterworks, joined in, pulling out some of Cuckoo’s feathers out. By the time the orderlies got the two of them, Cuckoo was lying on the floor, severely injured.

I asked one of the nurses about it afterwards, and she said she didn’t think that Cuckoo would make it.

Needlepoint and Waterworks got sentenced to Isolation Ward for seven months. I feel so sorry for them. Nopony deserves that, even violent, cannibalistic savages like those two.

I don’t know what they were doing without supervision. As far as I could remember, they always had an orderly watching over them, just to make sure nothing happened. I think they planned it. More often than not, they’ve been huddled in a corner of the Rec Room, whispering to themselves. I never gave it much thought.

Doc said I used to have violent urges like that, but I can’t remember them. Those early days were a blur of uncertainty and terror.

Speaking of which, Doctor told me that he might have some sort of new treatment to make me one hundred percent better. It’s not fool-proof and Doc said that it could cause some memory loss, but he wouldn’t tell me what exactly it entailed before I was sure I wanted to go through with it.

It would be nice to see the outside for once. Fletcher’s hallways are getting monotonous.

I think I’ll do it.

All I can do is hope that I’ll still remember my friends and all the good times I’ve had. It’d be nice to see the outside with all of them sometime in the future.

The passage ended there, without as much as a signature signing off. I felt the corners of my eyes grow damp and I quickly wiped away any indication of my tears. I wasn’t crying. Of course not.

I held the book in my hooves and briefly wondered what the beginning was like. I began to flip to the first page, but I hesitated briefly.

What would I find there? Did I really want to see? What was I like when I was really crazy?

I teetered on the brink. Should I? Should I not? Should? Should? Should? Should—

Then, the world answered for me as the lights in the room flickered out, leaving me in darkness. Bed-time. I could always try to read in the dark, but already I felt my eyelids begin to grow heavy. I placed the book back down on the table and shuffled my way back over to the bed and crawled in.

I clutched at the thin covers and pulled them over my body. The bed was as uncomfortable as I remembered it, though at least I wasn’t trapped like I was that afternoon. I fluffed the pillow as best as I could and fell back into the cushions, moaning as a wave of exhaustion hit me.

I flipped over on to my back and stared at the ceiling. The pegasi foals stared back at me, with their cheerful faces and unblinking eyes. Why did I have these things painted on my ceiling? They weren’t cute in any way.

I turned on my side so that I wouldn’t have to see those overly happy pegasi and their smiling, shining sun. They were unnerving.

A yawn escaped my mouth and as I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep, drained after the long day.

And one single thought invaded my mind.

I really had to take a piss.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

I awoke the next morning before the lights had switched back on.

The barest hints of the sunrise filtered through my tiny window, illuminating the ceiling with a thin strip of light. The cherubic foals smiled down at me with their haunting faces and I defiantly stared back at them

I spent the better part of that dawn lying in bed, sorting through my thoughts. I needed the free time to think about everything I had learned the day before. I was still a bit unsettled by the fact I was clinically insane and spent to better part of my life in an asylum. It would definitely take some time to adjust to life here.

I probably could’ve spent the rest of the day thinking things over, but life had other ideas. The ceiling lights flickered on, searing my eyes with the unexpected light.

I groaned and sat up, stretching my hooves and working out a few kinks in my back. It was mere seconds later that the door latch rattled and the heavy iron door swung open. Dreams casually walked through the opening, a shining smile plastered on her face. Her outfit was wrinkled, like she had slept in it. “Good morning, Gray!” she chirped, “Have a good first night?”

The night sky shimmered across the lake’s surface, the thousands of stars twisting and bobbing in the water’s gentle current. Water crept up on the shoreline, covering the rocks in its murky depths, and then ebbed, receding back into the darkness.

“Gray?”

I glanced up at Dreams. I smiled. “Yes. Yes, I had a good night… though, it’s not like I have any to compare it to…” I smiled, my rather depressing comment earning a chuckle from the mare.

“Come on,” she said, helping me off of the bed, “Today, we’re getting you back on your schedule. Every other day, you get up a few hours earlier than the other patients to go practice with the institution’s band.”

I raised an eyebrow in surprise. “There’s a band here?”

Dreams opened the door for us and we began walking down the silent hallways to our destination. “Oh yes,” she continued, “the more musically-inclined ponies staying here have gotten together over the years and formed a little group where they practice and compose music. Sometimes they even perform for the rest of the patients. It’s nice.” She chuckled. “There are seven of you, including you, and while you all are not the best in the world, you all give it your best. It’s nice.”

We turned a corner, narrowly dodging a stallion pushing a laundry cart somewhere. “That’s… an unexpected thing to have here. I wouldn’t have guessed that.” I paused, processing the information. “What instrument did I play?”

“Oh, you were good at almost any instrument you got your hooves on, but you always had a sweet spot for the piano. I’m hoping that maybe getting you back behind it might jog your memory a bit.”

I grunted in affirmation and followed after her. The halls were quiet at this time of the morning. I didn’t even see any other nurses around. It was quiet.

I needed some sort of sound.

“So what else is there to do around here?” I asked.

“Well,” Dreams began, almost mechanical, “We have a variety of facilities here for patients to use during their free time. There’s a gymnasium, a swimming pool, an art room, several recreational rooms, and a sprawling garden, outside, on the grounds. Of course, you need to have permission and supervision to enter any of those rooms, except the rec room, just as a precaution. Don’t want anypony to accidently fall in the pool.” She smiled. “That’s the spiel we have to memorize. It answer your question?”

I nodded. “I’d like to go see the garden sometime…”

“I’ll ask somepony to take you down there sometime. It—Aaah!” Dreams let out a short cry of surprise as she stumbled, nearly tripping and falling to the ground.

I looked at her in alarm. “Are you alright?”

Dreams stiffened and stood up straight, smoothing out her uniform. ‘Y-yes, I’m fine. I just don’t have that great of a sense of balance. It happens…” She glanced down the hallway behind us. “Actually, Pink, do you think you could go on ahead without me? I-I forgot that I need t-to do something important…” Her voice was shaky.

“Oh, I suppose I can…” I said.

Dreams smiled. It wasn’t one of her normal, wide smiles that were full of teeth. No, this one was slight, just a raising of the lips, almost as if she was trying to cover something up. “Thanks.” she said. “Now, keep walking down the hall until you get to the end. The music room is the very last door.” She gestured down the hall. “I… I’ll be back soon alright? I’m sorry.”

She turned and trotted off the way we came, almost swaying erratically as she walked down the hall. I watched her until she turned a corner, her fiery tail disappearing out of sight. I looked at the spot where she vanished for several seconds and then turned around and made my way to the music room with a heavy sigh.

I arrived at my destination a minute later. The door at the end of the hallway was one of the few labeled doors in the entire facility. ’Music Room’ was proudly displayed on the metal door.

I put a hoof on the door, intending to push it open, but I stopped. I swallowed a sudden lump in my throat; I wasn’t sure if I could do this.

My legs shook nervously, and I fought back the incredible urge to turn around and escape. Behind that door was the first major connection to my life. There would be ponies who knew me better than any other pony I had met the previous day. My friends would be in there, and they expected their friend, but… But I couldn’t give them their friend. He was gone, and I had taken his life. Could I even really be considered to be anypony yet? Was a little over one day enough to constitute a pony? What if they didn’t want to be my friends anymore? What then? What would I have done? What would I do now? What could I do now!? I didn’t know anything. If not for Dreams, I wouldn’t have a clue what to do. I would be even more lost. I would be a nopony, a useless, scared husk of a stallion I once was. I couldn’t go in there! I couldn’t! I shouldn’t see my friends. I shouldn’t subject them to having to deal with an amnesiac stallion who couldn’t even remember his name or where he had been for the past however many years! I couldn’t! I shouldn’t! I wouldn’t! I…

Hello. Yes, I’d like to order breakfast please. I’d like coffee for two, some toast with jam and a glass of milk... Thanks…

I took a deep breath and pushed the door open. Immediately, I was greeted by a cacophony of sound. Every pony in the room was playing on some instrument or other: Guitar, drums, piano, violin, trumpet, bassoon, harmonica, and there were even more instruments scattered around the room.

There was silence when I walked in.

Six stallions looked at me, recognition slowly spreading across each of their faces. “Hey,” said one, “it’s Pink!”

“We can see that, ya idjit!” hissed another.

A great, hulking stallion approached me and slapped me on my back, nearly knocking the wind out of me. “Pink!” His voice was very quiet and airy for such a large pony. “We haven’t seen you in a while! How dat operation thing go?”

I coughed and broke out of the stallion’s grasp. “W-well… I can’t exactly remember. I woke up yesterday afternoon with no memories of anything. Amnesia, you see… And… call me Gray now. I don’t remember ever being called Pink.”

The stallion chuckled and slung a hoof around my neck, pulling me in close. “Hey, dat’s alright. I’ll introduce you to da band again. My name’s Svelte, but everypony calls me Mauve.” I opened my mouth to ask something but he caught me off with another boisterous chuckle. “Yes, I know dat my coat’s blue and not purple. It’s just what dey calls me.” He shrugged. “I play da string instruments.”

Mauve pulled me over the stallion who had first spoken up when I had entered. “Dis here’s Coalcatcher. He plays da drums like a pro. Coalcatcher, meet Gray.” I barely had time to shake the stallion’s hoof before Mauve whisked me off to the next pony. “Dis pegasus is named Dew Drop.” The stallion in question said hello. “You couldn’t find betta’ trumpeter even if you found a pony with a trumpet cutie mark! Ha!”

Mauve introduced me to two other ponies, one mare named Papyrus who could apparently play a mean guitar, and one stallion named Maestro who orchestrated and led many of the songs the band played, before yanking me away to meet the last member of the ensemble.

“And dis little fella’ is Broom.” Mauve gestured at a small, red unicorn that had been standing behind some of the other stallions. Broom looked at me and smiled, but didn’t say anything. “Broom is one of da best bassists I’ve ever heard!” continued Mauve, “He doesn’t speak though. Quiet little thing, he is.”

Broom dipped his head in greeting, as if he had dropped something, and stretched out a hoof for me to shake.

But I didn’t move. I stared at the unicorn, lost in thought. There was a feeling in my stomach, almost like the twinges of recognition I had when I first met Dreams. I was so… so certain that I had met Broom before, but… he didn’t seem right, almost as if…

“Gray, you feelin’ alright?” Mauve shook me.

I shook my head. “Yeah… yeah, I’m alright. I just…” I licked my lips. “I… Nice to meet you Broom.” My nose itched and I shook Broom’s still outstretched hoof.

Mauve steered me back away from Broom and to the opposite side of the room. “Yeah, you and Broom are friends. Da two of you has da same group therapy and all…” We stopped in front of a piano. “Now, here’s your little slice o’ heaven, Gray,” explained Mauve, “You play da piano like a fancy Canterlot pianist, if I ever heard one.”

He pushed me towards the instrument. “Go on, see if it don’t jog your memory or somthin’.”

I gave the piano an odd look and sat on the bench, feeling the wood give slightly. It all felt so familiar, but… I still felt as if something was wrong. It was sort of like remembering that I remembered my memories, but they weren’t actually in my head.

The door on the other side of the room opened and shut. I turned my head to see Dreams slide into the room. “Hello boys,” she said when the others noticed her, “I see you’ve already got Pi—Gray at the piano again.” She giggled, almost ludicrously, and trotted over to stand near me, Broom and Mauve.

“Go on,” insisted Dreams, “try to play something.” The others, watching on, nodded in encouragement.

Glancing at the keyboard, I tentatively ran my hoof over the piano keys, inadvertently playing a few jarring notes. Still unsure, I looked back up at Dreams and Broom who both motioned for me to continue. Their faces looked so expectant, that I supposed that I had to try. Sighing, I scooted closer to the piano and stared at the white, polished keys, unsure where to start.

I placed one of my hooves on a key, hearing the sweet, drawn-out note it produced. I tapped on another key further down the keyboard, rapidly alternating between the two notes. A small smile forced its way onto my mouth. It certainly felt… natural. I could get the hang of it. I ran my hoof down the keys, playing a succession of notes that I thought sounded alright.

I experimented like that for a while before finally settling on trying to hammer out the tune I’d been humming since the previous day. My hooves descended the keys, bringing to life the music trapped inside my head. It wasn’t that complicated of a melody, but considering I couldn’t remember how to play a piano, it was amazing I managed to work it out.

After a few minutes of finding my groove, I began singing softly under my breath, voicing lyrics to the slow, melodic composition as they came to me.

“…So, won’t you please say “Hello,”
To the folks that I know,
Tell ‘em it won’t be long.
‘Cause they’d be happy to know that as you saw me go,
I was singing this song…

…We’ll meet again,
Don’t know where, don’t know when,
But I know we’ll meet again, some sunny day…”

I moved my hooves up the right of the keyboard, playing the melody slightly faster and louder as I became more engrossed in the music. I closed my eyes, letting my hooves fly around the keys, doing what felt natural.

A genuine smile crept onto my face as I continued to play. I didn’t know exactly how long I sat there, madly playing that piano, but it felt like I could keep playing forever. They were right: this was what I was good at.

But of course, I couldn’t keep playing forever. Eventually, my hooves ground to a halt as I finished off the song with a flourish. As the last note faded into the air, I realized how still the room was. I cautiously turned around, unsure if what everypony’s reaction was going to be. But every pair of eyes in the room was on me, and below every single one of those eyes was a smile. Everypony broke into applause, stamping their hooves on the ground in admiration.

Dreams and Broom walked over to me, looking particularly proud. Dreams’ face was streaked with tears and she was waxing poetic over how it was almost like I still had my memories. Broom simply nodded at me, a small grin on his face.

We spent the next few hours in the music room talking amongst ourselves. Mauve and the others showed off for me and shared stories of bygone days. I hardly noticed the time passing, but before I knew it, it was ten o’clock and one of the orderlies shooed us from the room, escorting us to the cafeteria for brunch.

Dreams, Broom, the other musicians and I all filed out of the room and trudged after the orderly in relative silence; talking wasn’t permitted in the hallways most of the time, apparently. Dreams apparently never cared about that rule. I made an effort to focus on the clip-clopping of our hooves to drive away my growing anxiety.

Breathe.

To be honest, I felt at home with the group; there was something natural and relaxing about these ponies I had just re-met. I suppose that there was something still buried within my mind that still recognized the hospital band.

We entered the cafeteria a few minutes later and got some lukewarm leftover food from the main breakfast that morning. The eight of us, watched over by a guard, sat at a table and ate quickly and quietly until one of the band members, Dew Drop, began screaming about the worms in his food and how they were crawling inside of him. He hit one of the ponies beside him in a desperate attempt to escape the table and scrambled over to the guard, begging to be let out.

Needless to say, he was quickly subdued and brought to the infirmary.

Once things had quieted down a bit, we finished up our meals and Dreams ushered me and Broom out of the room, realizing that in all the commotion, we were nearly late for group therapy, my first one.

We hurried through the identical hallways, sidestepping numerous ponies along the way. I attempted to remember the twists and turns as Dreams navigated us through the maze of hallways and doors, but I quickly found myself losing track of where we came from.

Eventually, we came to rest outside another metal door, once again unambiguous from any of the others throughout the hospital if not for a small sign outside that read ‘Meeting Room 46-J.’ There was large sky-blue stallion standing guard outside the door. Dreams greeted him, and he merely nodded in response, opening the door for the three of us. Dreams walked through first, followed shortly by Broom and myself.

There were three ponies already inside when we entered, sitting in a semicircle. Two of them, my friends, I assumed, looked up when they heard the door open, their faces hopeful. The other, a periwinkle unicorn stallion wearing a coat and tie—a doctor, I could only guess—only glanced up from his clipboard in mild disinterest when we entered.

The two ponies, one male, one female, approached us. The stallion, a rather short, nervous looking tan pegasus opened his mouth to say something but stopped short when he got near. He glanced at Dreams, “I—Is he…?” He gestured at me.

Dreams nodded sullenly and the stallion’s ears folded back in sadness. He exchanged a worried look with the mare behind him. Dreams took a step forward and ushered the two of them away for a moment, talking to them in a hushed voice. I couldn’t hear their whispers, but I knew they were talking about me. I cast a nervous glance at Broom who smiled reassuringly at me.

After a few moments, Dreams and the other two trotted back over. The stallion cautiously approached me, nearly tiptoeing over. “S-ssooo-oo… Pink—S-sorry. Gray.” He fretfully smoothed down the front of his coat and chuckled. “I—I, uhh… I’m S-Starshine, your… uhh… Your best f-friend, I ss-suppose? I, uhh… Heh… I see you-you’ve already met Br-Broom…”

I smiled at him and offered my hoof, but he shrunk back, avoiding my touch. “I—I don’t really li-like being t-t-touched.” He smiled apologetically. “S-sorry…”

I set my hoof back on the ground, scuffing it back and forth nervously. “It’s alright… It’s not your fault that I can’t remember.”

“You’re right.” The mare, a pink, middle-aged earth pony, spoke up, glaring at me with eyes as sharp as daggers. “It’s not Star’s fault. It’s yours. You’re the one who went and did this to yourself.”

She stepped between Starshine and me. “He’s the one who should be saying he’s sorry. He—”

“Marm,” pleaded Starshine from behind her, “M-marm, please st-stop. He didn’t mean…”

“Oh, he knew what he was doing when he went in!” growled the mare, turning to face the pegasus “He could’ve died! The procedure could’ve gone wrong!” She whirled around to face me, distraught. “You could’ve died, you idiot! We could’ve lost you forever! I could’ve lost—” She broke off, teetering on her hooves for a moment and then broke down sobbing. Dreams rushed forward and embraced the mare and let her cry into her shoulder.

I blinked.

Starshine smiled apologetically from behind the two mares. His face was flushed red with embarrassment from the mare’s outburst.

Broom silently trotted over and sat in the middle of the floor as if he was unconcerned the mare’s anger.

I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect when I walked into the room for group therapy, but I certainly didn’t expect to be yelled at.

Keep off the grass.

The doctor in the corner cleared his throat, bringing our attention to him. “Well,” he said in a slow, lethargic voice, “It certainly sounds like we have a lot to talk about today.” He gestured at the floor. “Why don’t we all sit down and we’ll begin, alright?”

Dreams slowly helped the pink mare back to her hooves and led her over to one of the cushions. The mare wiped her eyes with a free hoof and took a deep, shuddering breath. She whispered something to Dreams, who nodded in reply.

Leaving the mare on the cushion, Dreams took the seat in between the doctor and Broom. I sat on the other side of Broom and Starshine sat between the mare and I. There was one cushion empty, on the other side of the doctor.

The doctor cleared his throat again; it was a sort of wet, sick sort of sound. “Now, for all those who might not remember, my name is Doctor Jekyll and I preside over these group therapy sessions. As I’m sure you are all aware by now, one of us, Pinkerton, has had some memory loss. I think it would be prudent to go around and reintroduce ourselves. Dreams, if you’d like to start…?”

Dreams nodded and stood up, unconsciously smoothing down her rumpled outfit. “Well, you’ve already met me. My name is Dreams and I am a nurse here at Fletcher’s Memorial. I—”

Doctor Jekyll cut her off. “Yes, yes. I’m sure Pinkerton knows that. I know that we know…” He sighed. “Now, Broom, if you’d be so kind to go next… and, and, so on, please.”

Broom dipped his head in acknowledgement and unsteadily stood up. He stared at me for a moment, as if wavering on the edge of a decision, and then walked over, so that he stood in front of me. He smiled and put a hoof on my shoulder. I noticed that he was missing most of his teeth.

Not a soul in the entire room made a sound as the maroon unicorn opened his mouth and spoke in a deep baritone voice that didn’t seem at all suited for such a small pony.

“Friend,” he said simply.

Then, he turned and silently shuffled back to his cushion.

I let go a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. Dreams whispered something into Brooms’ ear and he shook his head and bobbed up and down.

Next, Starshine stood up and turned towards me. “W-well, my name is Suh-ssstuh-Starshine, but I told you tha-that already… I… Umm… kkh—can’t… I can’t… I can’t… I can’t… Don’t? Nuh-nnnoo-noooo… No. I—W-well, as bruh-Broom so elo-eloq-eluh-eloquently put it, we are all still your fr-friends Pi—err… Gray.” He abruptly stopped there and nodded, as if he was satisfied with what he said. He mumbled something and laid back down.

There was a cold and uncomfortable silence after Starshine sat down. He glanced over at the pink mare who had yet to introduce herself and gestured for her to say something. She snorted and turned away, purposely staring at the wall instead of any of us.

Starshine whispered something to her and Doctor Jekyll grunted impatiently. He violently scribbled something down on his clipboard, his eyes flicking between the mare and his papers.

After about a minute, she swiveled around and reluctantly stood up, scowling all the while. The doctor coughed again and the mare sighed and began to speak, her voice cracking just a little bit. “My name is Marmalade. My friends call me Marm, but you,” Her eyes flicked over to me, fixing me in a stare. “You haven’t re-earned the right to call me a friend yet.” she finished with a growl.

Doctor Jekyll spoke up before anypony could say anything. “It seems like you have some deep-seated resentment for the decision that Pinkerton made, do you care to explain?”

She snorted, and tossed her mane with a flick of her head. “I mean… I—I’m just so concerned about him. He’s an idiot. He doesn’t seem to give much thought into his actions. He’s… so headstrong and brash, I just… worry… I…” She paused and took a deep breath, steadying herself. “And now, he can’t even remember anything… And… And I don’t even know if he’s the same pony I talked to three days ago! He went and threw his life away! He’s not the same…” Marmalade’s voice died in a whimper and she glanced at me. I couldn’t meet her gaze.

Doctor Jekyll coughed lightly and looked at me. “Do you have anything that you would like to say in response, Pinkerton?” His pen was scribbling away on his clipboard but he wasn’t even looking at it.

My eyes felt like lead weights as I forced them upwards to look at Marmalade. Her face was expressionless. “Well… I have nothing to justify my decision. I can’t remember anything, so I can only assume that I had a good reason to go through with the procedure. I mean…” I forced a smile and looked at the ground. “I don’t know if I can be Pink anymore. I have none of my memories—of his memories—other than these past two days. Everypony is expecting me to be Pink, but I don’t remember how, and I don’t remember him… All I know is that the one thing that sticks out in my mind is the name Gray and that just feels like it has to be my name. It’s the one thing I know. I can try to be Pink, but I don’t know if I can. I’d love to, I’d love to be the stallion that you all knew, but… but if I can’t, I think being Gray would be just as good… I don’t know… There’s just so much I don’t know…”

There was silence, but I hardly noticed it.

“…I’m sorry…” whispered Marmalade, “I didn’t mean any of what I said. I just… was so worried for you, I wasn’t thinking… I…” She yelled and hit herself in her head. “Argh! I always do this! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!” She looked at me, the hurt clearly visible in her eyes. “I’m sorry. I really am…”

Doctor Jekyll’s monotone and sluggish voice broke the stillness. “It’s alright Marmalade, you didn’t do anything wrong… and neither did you Pinkerton.” He adjusted his tie and cleared his throat again, as though the matter was taken care of and Marmalade’s fit of anger was of no importance. “Now, as most of you are aware, we are missing the eighth member of our group today; Mister Gerald is currently detained in solitary following yesterday’s outburst during lunch, and should be out in three days.” He glanced at a small clock hanging on the wall behind him, “Now, since re-introducing ourselves took longer than expected, we won’t have enough time to each take a turn speaking. So, I believe we should begin to wrap up this session.”

It was a blustery autumn evening. The sky was overcast, and every few minutes, another leaf fluttered down from the trees to land on the cobblestone road below. A taxi carriage rattled by, the driver, wearing a scarf that trailed behind him, talked politely to his passengers. Hot breath fogged the window pane, obscuring the view outside.

“Pinkerton? Boy, do you hear me?” Doctor Jekyll snapped at me. I glanced at him, my eyes wide. “Boy, I asked you how you felt. You’ve had us waiting impatiently for a full minute now. That should be well enough time to collect your thoughts.”

“Oh, I… Uhh…” My eyes drifted over the other ponies, who were all watching me expectantly. “I feel fine, I suppose. I mean… as well as I could, given the circumstances… Like I said before, I’m still trying to come to terms with what is going on and who I am going to be… It’s…” I took a deep, shuddering breath. “I just don’t know.”

Doctor Jekyll nodded slightly. “Hmm… I suppose that’s well enough for now. I’m sure that you’ve been under enough duress these two days.” He peered around the room and stood up. “I doubt anypony here would object to ending a mite early. Just means you all have all the more free time before dinner.” He chuckled and gathered up his papers. “I’ll see you all in two days’ time.” And with those closing words, he was gone.

The rest of us stood up as the doctor abruptly exited and Marmalade immediately made a beeline over to me. “I’m sorry,” she said, “I really am.” She tentatively put a hoof around me, but then clasped me in a full-on hug. “I just… I just get so silly sometimes and I can get so angry. And it’s not just you. I—I get so concerned over everypony here. I have to take care of them, you see? They can get into so much trouble if I don’t keep an eye on them.” She giggled and led me towards the door, suddenly unexpectedly cheerful. “I have to keep all these ponies from getting hurt. I love them all so much. I just can’t bear to see them get into trouble. I can get a bit angry when they do stupid things… I’m sorry.”

I opened my mouth to respond, but my words died in my throat as Starshine walked over to us. “Mmm-Marm, come on, let’s g-go to the Rec…” He stopped as he noticed that the two of us were having a conversation. “Oo-oohh… S-sorry. I didn’t, well, I mean, I didn’t nuh-know you were talking…”

Marmalade smiled and tossed her golden hair back. “It’s fine Star. I was just apologizing again.”

We were out in the hallway again. The doctor had already wandered off and the guard that was outside the door when we had entered had vanished. Dreams was saying something to Broom, who was nodding intermittently.

Marmalade tapped me on the shoulder. I glanced back at her inquiringly. Realizing I hadn’t heard what she had said, she sighed and repeated herself. “I asked if you wanted to come with Star, Dreams, Broom and me to the Rec Room. We were thinking of playing some cards until dinner. You always liked that.”

“Well…” I hesitated and pawed at the ground. “I was thinking of maybe heading back to my room and resting. I… I have a lot to think about.”

Marmalade looked crestfallen. “Oh… Well you’ll have to have Dreams to bring you back. I guess we’ll hold off our card game ‘til the two of you can join in tomorrow or something.

“Yeah…” My eyes wandered back over to Dreams, who had finished her conversation with Broom and was walking back over.

“Did I hear I needed to escort somepony back to their room?” she asked.

“P—Gray want-ted to rest a bit before d-dinner.” explained Starshine, “I… Well, I don’t bl-blame him.”

Dreams gave me look like she was almost disappointed in me. “Alright,” she said, “I’ll take you. Come on Gray.” She turned and walked away.

Marmalade smiled at me, all remnants of her previous hatred gone. “Go on.” She shooed me away, literally pushing me down the hallway. “Go on after her. We’ll catch up tomorrow morning.”

With one last glance at the group of ponies that called themselves my friends, I followed after Dreams.

The two of us walked back to my room in silence, save for the noise of our hooves on the tile below.

My mind was abuzz with thoughts and fleeting memories that I could never quite remember. There was something so familiar about my friends, but it wasn’t the memories from my forgotten years in the asylum, it was something altogether different… I couldn’t place the feeling, but it felt as if I had known many of the ponies around the facility, almost as if they were from some previous life. But… that couldn’t be possible.

My mind was drawing a blank, just like it had been doing since I woke up. Why couldn’t I just have some normalcy?

Ten…nine…eight…seven…

What was normal anymore? Things had been abnormal ever since I had woken up. Everypony seemed to think I would just easily accept I had been living most of my life in an insane asylum, but that was a lot of information to digest and process.

Was this amnesia a curse or a blessing? Would I truly have been happier knowing and remembering all these ponies that considered themselves my friends, instead of being sane and forgetting everything?

What was I like before? What kind of pony was I that I would throw away most everything I knew and loved for the wild hope of fixing myself? Did that make me a bad pony? Did that mean I betrayed my friends?

I didn’t—

A drawn-out, ragged scream broke the silence. I froze mid-step and looked around for its source. Dreams stumbled to a halt a few seconds later, noticing I was no longer beside her. “Pi… Gray, what’s wrong?” she asked.

“Can’t you hear that screaming? It’s… horrible. What-” I was cut off by a pounding from one of the doors a few meters down from us.

“Oh thank Celestia!” shouted a stallion’s voice from behind the door, “There’s somepony out there! Haha!” The pounding on the door intensified, as did the voice. “Oh please, get me out of here! I-I don’t know what’s going on! Help me, please, please… I…I… I don’t want to be in here anymore! It’s dark! I can’t see anything! So… S-s-so, so dark and cold! Please! I…” The stallion began sobbing loudly, his knocks on the door getting even harder. “PLEASE! Somepony! I heard you! P-please help! Oh, w-where the hell are you!? I heard you! I know I heard… didn’t I? I… Oh, I don’t know what’s going on! Ple—please! I’m so scared, I…I… They’re come-coming!! Oh! Oh, aaahh! I can feel them come out of the walls, se-eeping down to the floor, crawling into my eyes, whispering into my head. Whispering terrible things! And I can hear their pain! I- I… Oh... please don’t hurt me… Who is…? Where… I can't find my marbles...”

The voice broke off and all was quiet from behind the door. I looked at Dreams. “What just…?”

Dreams put a hoof over my shoulder and dragged me forward. “It’s alright Gray. He’s just… one of our more special patients. It’s—It’s fine. Forget about him” She smiled, but I could tell that it was forced. She was trying much too hard to gloss over what had just happened.

She let lose a nervous laugh and squared her shoulders and, undaunted, continued back to my room. I reluctantly followed her, watching as her entire body trembled as she walked.

She wasn’t fine.

I glanced back at the door, but couldn’t determine which one the voice came from.

There was one final, haunting scream from somewhere down the hall as I searched. The stallion clawed at the door for a few seconds and then fell silent. I shuddered and continued after Dreams, who kept walking without so much as a glance to make sure I was following.

Once again, we walked in silence, though it was much more strained than before. Dreams was trying her best to put on a brave face, and failing miserably, but my mind only had thoughts for that poor stallion.

Who was he? The poor soul was obviously one of the worse-off patients at the institute. Sure, I had already been here two days, and had already seen two or three complete mental breakdowns, but for the most part, most of the patients seemed sane enough.

But, aside from those incidents and some quirky behavior, if I hadn’t been informed that I was in an asylum, it might have taken me a long time to realize that most of the ponies around me were insane.

But in the case of the stallion behind the door, it was evident that he was not sane.

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn’t notice when we stopped. Dreams brushed her tail against my withers, stopping me before I walked into her. “Well, here we are.” she said. The gray door we stopped in front of was the same as all the other ones. “I’ll come collect you when it’s time for dinner, alright?” continued Dreams as she opened the door to let me in. “Try to get some rest, Gray. You need it.” She smiled and closed the door.

“Wait!” I said. The door stopped, but didn’t reopen. Dreams didn’t say anything and the door obscured whatever expression she might have had. “Are you going to explain who that stallion back there was?” I finished.

Dreams took a deep, shaky breath. I could imagine her familiar smile plastered on her face as she thought of an answer. “What… stallion are you talking about, Gray?” Her voice oozed false sweetness. “You mean Doctor Jekyll, the one presiding over the group therapy? Don’t worry about him. He’s a little two-faced, but—”

I shut the door mid-sentence. I half-expected that she wasn’t going to give any information about the screaming pony we heard in the hall. She knew who I was talking about, but was hell-bent to ignore him, and any questions I had.

Just like my cutie mark.

I sighed and collapsed onto my bed.

I could figure everything out later.

I closed my eyes.

Author's Note:

Based on “Vera”

Comments

[FloydienSlip]

Holy damn, this is dark. I'm glad this updated when it did. The sheer amount of character development in this is awe-inspiring. Yet another excellent chapter in this story, and I eagerly await the next installment.

“This is the Fletcher Memorial Psychiatric Institute, ‘ome for the incurable and Equestria’s crazies!”

BEST. REFERENCE. EVER.

[Avenging-Hobbits]

This story is so insanely awesome.

Have you tried submittng it to EQD?

Also, I love all the little references. Pure gold.

[_NAME_]

2580172

I submitted it to them a long time ago. The only response I got was that it was too obscure a crossover. No comment on its quality or grammar, just how obscure it was.

They probably didn't even read half of it. It kinda put me off considering that, not only was it not really a crossover, Pink Floyd is not all that obscure. I mean, sure they're an old band, but not obscure. If I did a story inspired by something like Electric Light Orchestra's "Time", then I would say it was obscure, even though its a great album.

I may try to resubmit it later on though, maybe when it's finished.

[Avenging-Hobbits]

2582035 Wow that might be the worst excuse ever.

THIS STORY IS PURE GENIUS.