Being an alicorn is suffering. To be reborn by phoenix fire into a creature of eternal youth and beauty, only to later become a draconequus, a soulless monster of despair and insanity. But even after learning the horrible truth behind her ascension, Celestia refuses to believe that Discord's soul is truly lost. So with Philomena at her side, she ventures into Discord's labyrinth in order to save him and protect her own wish, even as her stubborn delusion could mean losing both.
A Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica crossover. Events based off Kyoko's battle in episode 9.
Cover art: "Elsa Maria" by Slitherhen on Deviantart.
Chapters (1)
what
could you expand that ending or make another chapter cause this was really good but that ending is really confusing
4572781
If you haven't watched this anime series, then I'm sorry, but I can't help you without explaining/spoiling the entire show. Perhaps a more specific question would help...?
4573886 Thanks for the feedback! Yes, I'll admit it is confusing, but if you're familiar with the anime series (especially episode 9), that would help clarify. In Madoka Magica, if a magical girl's Soul Gem becomes entirely black with despair, she becomes a witch (draconequus), but if it shatters, she instantly dies. The implication at the end is that Celestia didn't want to become a witch for Luna to fight. So she purposely shattered her Soul Gem, which had enough power to also blow up Discord and the entire witch labyrinth. She mercy-killed him by sacrificing her soul, which also protected Luna in the short term. Even though it was too little, too late, she did all she could.
Since Celestia dies at the end, I don't see how I could write another chapter. However, once my editor is done looking over another story of mine, I'll talk to him and see where we can improve on the ending. Thanks again!
Alright, alright. I am confused. Quite a lot. The only problem with this story is the absolute lack of explanation of what is going on. Try to specify where they are, when (if this is an alternate universe or something), and the mythology in which the story is based. The idea of alicorns turning into draconequus after their death is fascinating, but you haven´t explained as you should. I feel you were in a rush when your wrote this, but you shouldn´t. The description of scenes was really good, employing a wide and rich vocabulary which is something I greatly appreciate. The characters were well developed, except for Philomena, whose role escapes from my understanding. Discord here is shown distant, really different from his canon counterpart, but this is quite good. Exploring different facets of a character is mostly the main reason of fanfiction. So, if you take more time to develop your stories´s plots and don´t rush, I see you´ll have a great future. Well done, you can count with my upvote
PS: Damn it, now I see it was a crossover. Man, I don´t want to delete the whole text I have just written. ***damn it. Alright then... keep working
Oh, that was a great fanfiction! You really captured the feeling of Modoka well. Poor Celestia and Discord though. :c
4575997 That's fine; glad you realized before I unleashed an angry tirade on you. Trust me, it makes a lot more sense with context from the anime. Looking back, however, I'll agree that the story was rushed. Despite the fast-paced battle portion, I should have given the emotions and thoughts more time to breathe. One-shots are really tricky for me, and I use them to practice condensing my writing. But that should never come at the cost of the pacing, which I will bear in mind in the future. Thank you so much for the detailed critique!
4576285 Thanks, glad you liked it! At least there's comfort in knowing Madoka will save them in the end. And yeah, I really tried to immerse myself in the show's tone. I even had my Kyubey plushie staring at me all while writing this.
...I think my soul's lost by now. ／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼
Suggestions! Take em or leave em!
This should be "shining".
That's it! I, despite having no idea what the crossover is, feel like I didn't have a hard time understanding this. I could be wrong, but the interpretation I have is sufficient for me. That being said, this was awesome! I got chills when Celestia spoke her last words, and the buildup was masterfully done. Personally I think you sufficiently explained even without knowing the specifics of the wish magic of this universe.
Your portrayals of Discord's broken carnival were beautiful in an incredibly depressing kind of way. The images that sprang to mind were delightfully heartrending, and served to convey quite well the depths of Discord's sorrow. Honestly, I'm surprised this doesn't have more thumbs up, but alas, there it is.
Please keep writing, I'll keep reading!
4577396 Thanks so much! And yes, I think you have the gist of it. I was hoping more people would have a basic understanding, but judging by the dislike bar, it was still confusing.
Anyways, thank you; I'm glad you enjoyed it! 
this should be a multi-chap story.
twilight could be homuraOooh, I like this. I've wondered about how such a crossover would work before, how to merge the two series' mythologies well, and this fic definitely succeeds. The idea of draconequui being this universe's witches is really good! Have a well-deserved upvote and fave from a fellow Madoka fan.
I have very little clue about what just happened.. Just that it was friggin awesome. o.o