I am running from something I'm becoming, but becoming one means I'm running from all I am.
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On one strange afternoon, a pony wakes up in Fluttershy's bed. He doesn't say his name; he doesn't say where he's from.
He has been given a second chance at life. But what if he can't leave the pain of the previous one behind? What if his body wasn't the only thing to be injured?
Author's Note:
This is my submission for Obselescence's contest: The Most Dangerous Game.
Edited by MissingLink
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A dislike. Right off the bat. What a surprise.
Well, it's not called "The Most Dangerous Game" contest for no reason.
D'awww, massages for Fluttershy. Glad to see you treating Best Pony so well.
Huh. Even tough this uses clichés (and bad clichés at that), this actually is pretty good. Short, but good. Most of them aren't thrown at your face, noes does he develop the Stu syndrome. You have a good talent for short stories
i found this while listening to Ain't no rest for the wicked. i was like 'close enough'. i will fav this.
A touching story, respectful of the source concept and very well handled. A case of Fluttershy at her best. My only complaint is that alicornizing the OC almost feels tacked on as an afterthought. We never do find out why he took on that form. On the other hand, that's not the point. A very strange form of PTSD counseling is.
Thank you for this, and good luck in the contest.
Wow, this is beautiful.
4591167
Thanks.
4591333
You mean it doesn't always feel like it's completely unnecessary? That's news to me. :P
Thanks. Good luck to you, too.
4591361
Glad you enjoyed it.
That was surprisingly nice. I find myself wishing there were more chapters in the gaps. :)
4657538
I would have made it longer, but I ran out of time.
Glad you still liked it, though.
4657716
This provides just enough of the story to be complete, so you needn't worry about writing more later. :)
I honestly think this story is pretty good, especially when considering its length, but it doesn't seem to leave any lasting impact for me. I'd describe it as "competent, but not inspiring." Unfortunately, the only improvement I can think of would be to make this story longer.
Good luck in the contest!
4691585
Thanks.
I wrote this off a year or so never got past to him saluting why didn't I keep going this is grand well written.
The Watcher
Soon to be fimfiction critic.
(-,-)
4592976
Yes the undying horrific alicorn oc fiction need to slow down less stu and more ...well less stu.
The watcher
(•–•)