• Member Since 26th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen July 11th

Maledictator


E

Rarity is once again too busy to spend time with her sister. With Twilight Sparkle looking after her, Sweetie Belle discovers a liking of poetry and tries to write a poem about her sister.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 87 )

Wow! That was a good story even though it was a bit sad:ajsleepy::applecry::raritycry::facehoof:

Very good.
:derpytongue2:

A very nice little story.

D'aww, that was sweet!

Very well written, though a little short. I generally prefer drawn-out stories but this one set itself apart with a good message behind a solid storyline.

That haiku about the refrigerator is a classic one. The only one I can remember actually.

This story is brilliant. I do wish to see more!

D'AWWWWWWW, manly tears, all of them!!!

That was absolutely adorable!!! Being the oldest of 3 and having a sister that I love to death with a 10 year age difference, these stories always pull right at my heartstrings. Along with being well written, it gets the point across perfectly for a one-shot, and everyone is perfectly in character the whole time. I think I might have spotted a typo or two, but everyone slips now and again.

A fantastic piece, looking forward to see what else you might have in store :pinkiehappy:

I think you should continue this type of story. It was very good and interesting to read! :yay:

Rarity, why you forget lesson learned in Sisterhood Social?! :twilightangry2:

in any other case good story! :raritywink:

I teared up a little after reading that last poem. Makes me want to go hug my sisters. But I shall never tell them that ponies made me cry. :fluttershysad:

I'm afraid unconditional love isn't really love at all.

Too pissed to read right now, because I came up with this idea less than a second before opening Chrome. No joke.

Will read. :twilightsmile::ajbemused:

You have 63 likes, and you're in the Featured Box? My fanfic with EXACTLY the same likes has a chance xD

Also, I cried.

Dawwwwwwwwewwwwww

:fluttershysad::applecry::raritydespair::heart::twilightsmile:
That's how I felt while reading this.

Daaaaw so cute but sad!:rainbowkiss:

Short, sweet, and nice.
(And slightly sad)
But still a pretty good story. :ajsmug:

:pinkiegasp:

Parchment?!?!?! Oh dear Luna I sure hope Fluttershy doesn't visit the library and see any parchment! You do know what its made from, right?

:P Great story though, very touching :)

Pretty darn good. 3.5/5 stars.

this was a nice story with a nice combination of being sad but having joy in it:rainbowdetermined2:

Who was the one who disliked this? I cannot believe whoever did that! :twilightangry2:

Anyway to my review:

Dear creator,
Your story was a brand new read for me.
Adding poetry making it the main idea was an excellent idea.
I must ask,are you thinking about making something else involving the idea of poetry? Because this story makes me want to read another story involving it.
From,
Sneaks

That was a very sweet story. I enjoyed the way it flowed together without pulling the reader out of the scene, and the dialogue felt perfectly in character. Thank you very much for sharing this. :twilightsmile:

Oh my goodness!! :fluttercry::fluttercry:

Nothing more to be said besides : Great work

Mercy me, that's sweet. It's amazing how poetry can help you to explore and convey such emotions. Excellent use of that theme.

Beautiful! Sweetie's final poem gave me chills, and the one about perspective was very insightful. Thank you for this wonderful work!

Twas an amazing tale, I'll be damned if she doesn't get her cutie mark for this...

i love the refridgerator poem and this is well written.

but my feelings! :raritydespair:

I am once again reminded that I am a bad brother and dont talk to mine outside of holidays.
Then again he is in med school so its best to leave him be.

I liked this one; it was well-written, touching and everypony was in-character. Sweetie's poem felt a bit rough, though. Given her talent with songwriting, I did expect better metre at least.

Also, why do so many writers spell it "Manehatten" instead of the (correct) "Manehattan"?

This was great! Very emotional and insightful, particularly the ending - which the rest of the story built up to perfectly. Nicely done!

All of my d'awwws.

Oh god poetry! I love poetry! Gah. All of my dawws.:yay:

Daaaawww!

:pinkiesad2: Many feels were had. Nice story, bro.

I came across this one-shot totally by accident, and was besides myself with shock at how fast it got such high ratings!

Of course I say this after giving this little slice of "d'awww" a thumbs up and adding it to my collection of favorites.

Very well written. I enjoyed the feelings I had while reading this, feelings very reminiscent of the relationship I have with my older brother. And I thought the second interpreted meaning behind Twilight's sad poem, as (unknowingly) interpreted by Rarity, was brilliant.

I look forward to anything you put out in the future, especially if it has to do with Sweetie Belle since it would seem that you have a special talent for writing about such adorable sisters!

Beautifully... No... Masterfully done. Is that even a word? Regardless, the final (is it a stanza?) lines in Sweetie's poem just made my heart melt. Had a bad day, I really needed this. I even got misty eyed :pinkiesad2:

426608

I wrote a haiku once... for a school assignment. It had to do with Francis Scott Keys and the American National Anthem. Don't remember what the actual words were, though.

Anyway...

:yay: D'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWW!!! :pinkiegasp:

What a silly little filly. She cannot see the beauty in her words, throught what is written on the page. But with time she might come to know of it, just like she might come to know of her cutie mark. Then will she sing their praise? Only she can decided when that time will come to pass.

Awesome story. :raritystarry:
I must get back into writing poetry myself. :twilightsheepish:

Would've liked it if that poem got her her cutie mark and the last paragraph made me think of the song "Cat's in the Cradle" a great sweet story just would've liked the cutie mark is all.

Any time I want to hug Sweetie Belle, is time that I realize has just been well-spent.

Bravo sir, bravo! rarity finding that poem and reading it actually brought a tear to my eye. :fluttercry::twilightsmile:

how do poets do it? having a very big vocabulary, as well as a thesarus.:pinkiehappy:

a bond of sibilings is one that cannot be rusted.
time may bend and pull at it but one such as they can always be trusted
true some days you may fight and bicker over, something madane, and small.
but that love will always be there standing big and tall
so next time your brother picks on you for being strange or weird.
just know that under that show, he loves you more than you feared.
do not take my words as false or untrue.
for i have expirenced this hidden love, through the fake hate that it is shining through
-Captain Literal

It's always a pleasure seeing (And reading) a writing that truly evokes emotion in the reader, allowing them to truly feel what the writer has put forth and experience the story, instead of simply reading it. I got a single tear in my eye when I read the poem in the story, and it is one of the few times I cried, not because it was truly sad, but because I got to see the true beauty in the story, I got a tiny glimpse into what you were trying to show me. And for that... I thank you.

very well done story was Relatable had wonderful food for thought lots of things to make you think grate job :pinkiehappy:

DAWWWWWWWW!!!!:twilightsmile:
I luv this! I cried.:fluttershysad::fluttercry::raritycry: You are a wonderful writer and poet, my friend!:raritywink::twilightsmile::heart:

MANLY TEARS HAVE BEEN SHED. ;-; I'm going to spent tomorrow with my little sister....:fluttercry:

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