• Published 6th May 2012
  • 2,175 Views, 186 Comments

Space Captain Pinkie Pie - terrycloth



Rainbow Dash reveals the little-known fact that pegasi can survive in outer space.

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link to sequel: Earth to Twilight

Since I'm going to wait on the first few episodes of season 3 before even thinking about a proper sequel featuring Pinkie Pie herself, here's a sort of side-story (but also a direct sequel in the sense that it's 'what happens next') Earth to Twilight

Comments ( 25 )

2406500 Of course, once you realize that you're actually the real Nemryn you can dispense with that policy because it doesn't protect you anymore. :pinkiehappy:

It isn't bad. However, there are some serious problems in the second half. There is a ridiculous amount of plot holes and OOC behavior. Plus, I don't recall seeing a description of the moon ponies' appearance.

Why would everyone be so quick to judge Twilight? What happened to "never think the worst of someone"? They were a bit too quick to condemn her, even after Luna tried clearing things up. That's another thing-- when Luna tried to explain what was happening to Celestia, the elder sibling brushed her off! If that had happened in canon, Celestia would've immediately been arrested as an imposter.

I don't think Twilight would've been reckless enough to use the "Want It, Need It" spell, either.

Now for the plot holes, most of which revolve around your blatant misunderstanding of how the Elements of Harmony work. It doesn't make sense that they'd turn Twilight into an earth pony just because she thought about it. In fact, it doesn't make sense that they would've activated at all, and my reasoning is twofold:

1) While Twilight made some poor choices, her intentions were entirely benevolent. The Elements don't work on something that isn't evil (the now-reformed Discord being the only exception; his power is their polar opposite, after all).

2) The friendship bonds. The friendship that allowed the Main 6 to wield the Elements in the first place was forged by a harrowing nighttime journey through the deadly Everfree Forest, with Nightmare Moon's malevolent machinations around every corner in addition to the forest's normal dangers. This incredible trial by fire was further strengthened by several years of living together in Ponyville. And here you are expecting us to believe a single sleepover can have the same effect. I don't think so.

tl;dr: The premise is great, though the actual story wasn't quite what I was expecting. Towards the end, things quickly stopped making sense.

I must admit, however, that that is a clever take on Cadence's back story. Even this, however, has a plot hole. I'd like to let it slide, due to the cleverness, but I wouldn't be a good critic if I didn't ask about it. How do you explain Cadence being so much younger in Twilight's flashbacks during the wedding episode? She's almost a foal herself in those!

While there's no way the plot holes can be fixed without taking the fic in a completely different direction, I like to think positive, so I'll see where the sequel takes it.

One last thing: How can you make a lunar adventure story without making a Moonstuck reference?!

2418078 Thanks for the comments... not sure how you can say I 'misunderstood' how the EoH work since their behavior is almost completely undefined, though.

It's annoying enough that everyone else apparently thinks they should work as a toggle. x.x Although it was really annoying when the discord episode showed it being used that way.

My thoughts on it are -- as explicitly stated in the story -- that the elements aren't hard to activate, but (implicitly stated, and taken from 'return of harmony') they'll work better for ideal groups of very close friends. Their effects are unpredictable but tend to 'increase harmony' -- firing them at evil creatures is always *safe*: it'll defeat them by rendering them harmless somehow. Firing them at misunderstood unicorns or pinkie pies, not so much.

As for Cadance -- I didn't think she looked that much younger in the flashbacks really. But the eventual not-yet-written sequel addressing her does cover that, kinda. And Twilight was skeptical too. n.n

2418747 "The effects are unpredictable" and "increase harmony"... You just contradicted yourself there. :ajsmug: How can they increase harmony by being unpredictable?

...I'll have to get back to you in a few hours. I have a few other things to say regarding your statement, but I can't figure out how to put them into words right now because it's 1 a.m.

2418801 You can't predict their answer because they're smarter than you and aren't ponies. :twilightsmile: There are millions of things that would increase harmony and they'll pick the best one based on criteria that you don't know except in very general terms (they 'increase harmony').

Also, like I said, the effects are almost completely undefined so I'm describing how I see them working in this story. I can certainly see them working in other ways in other stories and I won't promise not to have them work completely differently in stories that aren't sequels to this one.

2419137 Still, it just seems so... contrived. I just can't see the elements activating when the only thing "wrong" she did was defend herself and her friends. It was everyone else who was being disharmonious.

Still, in any case, it's too late to change it anyway. Doing so would change the plot too much.

2467862 Tennis-playing background pony. Applebloom used his racket to try to sell apples. Has a beard or moustache or something.

2828161 They always leave Spike at home!

It's almost like he's *so annoying* that ponies would rather be in mortal danger with no means of calling for help than take him along. :scootangel:

2828242 You need to decelerate a *lot* ('almost all the way') before a water landing is survivable. After falling a thousand miles through a vacuum you are going really, really fast and need a 10 mile thick deceleration zone to decelerate at 'only' 100G.

I think in real life there are tricks you can play -- go into orbit to translate most of your downward velocity into lateral velocity and then air-brake using the upper atmosphere. They're 'flying' a ship that's supposed to use antigrav for everything, though, so it probably wouldn't have survived that.

2828283 There's at least one scene where you see five Derpies at once, in the audience for the young flier competition where another Derpy is competing. There are also multiple names for her and multiple fan depictions of her. That's mostly what I was thinking? *shrug*

Later on I came up with an explanation; basically, in the distant past, the mirror pool wasn't a mysterious hidden legend in Ponyville, and pool ponies' descendants sometimes show 'side effects'. Like all their children looking identical.

As for Sparkler, well, that may have been written before I ran across that fanon. Sparkler seems really old to be Derpy's daughter.:derpyderp2:

2828684 I sort of got the idea from Equestria:Total war, but modified it a bit. In that fic they gave the user temporary omniscience and let them decide what to do with the perspective of a god.

In this one they give the target a moment of clarity and, well, may or may not take their input into what a fitting 'punishment' would be into account. 'Turn to stone' seems like sort of a default pick for anyone who can't imagine a scenario in which they'd coexist harmoniously. (In this story 'banished to the moon' was probably done by hoof, afterwards, given the warning carvings and mare-in-the-moon face an whatnot)

Wait. So the story ends and we still don't know whether or not Equestria is a simulation, or why the moon is covered in molecular machines? That's disappointing.

2828320 After a certain point horses stop aging visibly (thanks Chatoyance!). That phase presumably lasts even longer in ponies, given that Lyra was an adult when Twilight witnessed her first Summer Sun Celebration. So Sparkler looking like an adult doesn't actually nail down her age all that much.

Also I was going for more "what are these ponies like as individuals" and/or "which one gets which bit of fanon about Derpy" than "where did they come from", but I guess I wasn't very specific.

2828893 Ah, well, Derpy is the accident prone one who really likes muffins and Ditzy is the directionally-challenged one who has a foal. I think. It's been a while. :derpytongue2:

2828882 This happens in a lot of my stories; the overall story arc ends up being way too big for the original plot.

"Why the moon is covered in molecular machines" is probably not going to be answered, though. The whole moon city thing is sort of background mystery. "Is Equestria a simulation" might be but that'll be a while since the sequel I haven't even written yet (well, I'm in the middle of writing it but rereading some of the stuff you were commenting on for context makes me want to change around some stuff) (again) won't even answer it.

2829039 Wait, what? There's going to be another sequel?

2829064 At this point, it's been like 6 months and I haven't made a whole lot of progress, so I really shouldn't promise anything. :ajsleepy:

4097234 "If I win, you have do X" "Well, if I win, you have to do Y!"

Then they do something epic together that beats out anything they did separately, and the ponies watching all agree that they both won. So, they both have to pay their respective penalties. :pinkiehappy:

*rereads it* Ahah. They declared that it was a tie where both of them won, because otherwise Shining Armor would have kept the element of loyalty and they wouldn't have been able to use it, since it didn't work for him.

4097249
Oh okay. So to get her Element back, Rainbow had to agree to become Trixie's assistant, to put it another way.

4302555 The idea was that they had no idea about orbital mechanics -- and the planet isn't rotating -- so they just flew straight up (using ridiculous Pegasus lifting capacity) and then got hit by the moon which was travelling at about 300 mph in its close 'orbit' (which also does not obey orbital mechanics).

No one in this story is ever in a proper orbit because no one's ever going anywhere near fast enough to actually orbit at that altitude.

Poor Twiley!

Anyway, though, quite a nice story you've got there; I'd now call it a favorite of mine. :twilightsmile:
Kind of odd how it started out as random silliness and then became a huge, world-changing adventure, but still, highly entertaining.

4466593 Yeah, I have a problem with that. For a while when I was GMing various tabletop RPGs I kept destroying the world at the end of every campaign.

It's a sickness! :derpytongue2:

10835651
Okay, let me try to remember an eight year old fan fiction... but you said you didn't read all of this story so here is what you are missing.

Pinkie Pie gets turned into an alicorn, and ends up going back in time to turn herself into an alicorn to prevent a paradox, but ends up going back too far in time and is a completely different pony by the time she returns to the present.

So in this story Pinkie Pie gets turned into an alicorn, which is just Pinkie Pie but with wings and a horn until she starts to learn magic, she then uses that magic to go back in time a few hundred years and lives her life forward from there. But Twilight (in the present time, around the end of this story) argues that a hyperactive pink alicorn couldn't possibly have been around for hundreds of years without anyone noticing, and that's when Princess Cadance tells Twilight that the worst thing that could ever happen to Pinkie Pie happened "She grew up." And Pinkie tells Twilight "Have I ever told you the story of how I got my cutie mark? It's a gem!" which is a direct quote from the show; and Princess Cadance's cutie mark is a gem.

So in this story, Pinkie Pie is Princess Cadance. And as for re-watching the wedding episode; when Princess Cadance dances with Pinkie she uses the same dance moves as Pinkie, and Cadance allows Pinkie's board games "for five year olds" at the wedding reception, and Cadance made herself Twilight's babysitter to spend time with her.

Those details from the show, and maybe others that I've forgotten, all add up and fit with this story.

10836246
I also want to say with regret that as it's been eight years I probably won't ever finish the sequel that explained how Pinkie Pie created the changelings and the crystal ponies, Trixie was a changeling double agent and became the general of the army of equestria, and Twilight perfected her Earth Pony magic, blew herself up, and came back as a griffon.

This story seriously needs to be finished. Right up to the end, I was captured by the events and happenings unfolding as Andromeda made her way through the Wasteland. Someone please have pity, and finish this!!!

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