EVENT NINE: Home Sweet Home
“Ok, marshmellow, lie down and chill out,” Grace said, as she carried her friend back into their flat. “I’ll make some dinner. You can watch tv or whatever until you feel better.” She placed Coco down onto the couch and ruffled her roommate’s mane. “No more subway, I promise.”
“I thought you stopped with the marshmellow jokes,” Coco mumbled.
“I helped you walk for three city blocks, and that’s all you can say?” Grace scoffed. She rolled her eyes, and shook her head. “The things I do for friendship.”
“Now you know how I feel,” Coco replied, with a slight smirk.
Grace stammered and stuttered in hopes for an equally smart remark back, but instead, she just let out a sigh, dropped her saddlebags, and shuffled into the kitchen. She frowned at the dirty dishes, and ignored them. Just because Coco was sick didn’t mean she was allowed to skimp out on her chores. Instead, Grace decided they could use paper plates… if they had any more, that is. She pried open the fridge, and looked for something, anything, to eat. She pulled out an old box of Japonese takeout, and gagged at the disgusting smell when she opened it. She tossed it into the nearby trashcan, then continued sifting through the things in the fridge…
...and all that was in there was a few condiments and half a gallon of milk.
“Do ya want a ketchup, mayo, mustard sandwich for dinner?” Grace hollered.
A loud groan from the living room made her realize that was most likely a no.
Grace headed over to the cupboards, and found nothing inside, except a bag of paper plates and a box of stale Saltine crackers. Nothing at all to eat for dinner.
“We got plates, but nothing to eat on ‘em,” she grumbled. “Guess we’ll order out.”
She pulled open a drawer, and grabbed a hoofful of takeout menus she had both collected during her time of living in Manehattan, when days like this would pop up.
“Coco! I’m calling for dinner, whatdya want?”
“Don’t care,” Coco muttered.
“So… how does Draconian Fried Fish sound to you?” Grace teased.
“Order pizza,” Coco deadpanned, in her sick, groggy tone.
Grace rolled her eyes at her friend’s inability to take a joke, and grabbed the phone. She dialed the number of the first pizza place she found, and was greeted by a mare with a very loud voice.
“Uptown Pizzeria, where it’s at your house in thirty minutes or it’s free.”
“Hey, can I get a--” Grace hesitated. “Yo! Coco, what kinda pizza do you want?” No reply came from the living room, leaving Grace to choose all on her own. She skimmed over the menu, only before finally replying. “I’ll take an extra large stuffed crust four cheese with mushrooms on top,” she said. “Ooh, and onion rings! Plus, a side of cheese fries, and bring a 2 liter of ginger ale while you’re at it.”
“Address?”
“The Cityview Apartments, downtown Manehattan,” Grace responded. “Tenth floor, room 56.”
“And any other specifications?”
“Huh?” Grace asked. “Whatdya mean?”
“Don’t ask me, I just take orders, it’s apparently all I’m good for in this department,” the mare on the other line grumbled. “You can have your pizza delivered in a special manner, I suppose?” A huff escaped her. “Trixie has so much more potential than this…”
“Uh, ok, um,” Grace stammered. “Send us your cutest delivery pony, I guess?”
A snort was heard. “Good luck on that one,” she muttered. With that, the line went dead.
Grace hung up the phone, and shook her head. One of the worst possible things about living in the city: everypony was so rude. Then again, she should know -- she was one of them from time to time…
She shuffled into the living room, and noticed her roommate half-asleep.
“Hey, c’mon, marshmellow, stay awake,” Grace spoke up, as she sat down on the couch and nudged her friend. “I got pizza, and we’ll watch some movies. That’ll cheer you up, yeah?” She twirled the DVD rack next to the sofa, and looked through the discs. “Let’s see, how ‘bout Filly Bueller's Day Off? Harry Trotter & The Half-Blood Princess? Nightmare Moon on Elm Street?” She pulled out a case wedged under the bottom of the rack and smiled. “Hey, isn’t The Sun Princess one of your favorites?”
Coco wearily opened her eyes, looked at the cover of the case and nodded.
Grace got up, adjusted the tv on the kitchen counter to face the living room, and popped open the DVD player, sliding the disc in as she started up the movie. She looked at the back of the case, and snorted. “Man, this description is a lie,” she said. “I mean, I’m no nerd, but ya think they would just be honest and say, ‘This movie is Disneigh’s historically inaccurate version of Princess Celestia’s rise to the throne where we switched around some names.’ or somethin’ like that.”
Coco was indifferent, and was too busy already watching the opening sequence with the traditional blue and white Disneigh castle.
Grace sat down next to her friend, about to enjoy the film as well, when … it had begun.
Screaming and banging from all sides of their flat started up. On the left, the two crazy musicians were arguing (or doing ‘other’ things, judging from the slight moans heard), and on the right, in the halfway house where somepony different always lived, the television was too loud, while upstairs, the crazy cat lady was chasing after her dozens of pets…
“We can’t catch a frickin’ break around here!” Grace said exasperatedly. She stumbled out of her seat, marched over to the left wall, and banged on the ridiculously thin walls. “Knock it off, you two! If I wanted to hear that kind of crap, I’d be watching porn!” she yelled.
Suddenly, that side went quiet, but one of them yelled back, “I wish we were doing it!”
Grace snorted, and crossed the room, knocking on the other wall. “Turn it off or I call the cops!”
Then finally, she opened the nearby closet, grabbed a broom and smacked it against the ceiling.
“Get rid of the cats, you crazy witch!” she shrieked.
Frustrated, Grace threw down the broom, plopped back onto the couch and tried her hardest to focus on the animated classic, despite the chaos going on around her.
“Uncle Metamorphosis, when I’m Princess, what will that make you?”
“A griffon’s uncle, my dear Aurora.”
“Heh, you’re so weird.”
“...you have no idea.”
“Meh, I’ve seen this a dozen times,” Grace muttered. “I’m gonna go get cleaned off. Call me in when they start singing or it gets good.” She rolled out of her seat one last time, and made her way into the bathroom to wash whatever muck had gotten onto her from the disgusting incident on the subway.
She loosened her tie, and threw it onto the floor as she pushed aside the shower curtain. She frowned as she noticed the rust forming near the spigot, and hesitantly reached out, turning the knob to get the water started…
...yet nothing came out.
Grace raised an eyebrow, and put both of the faucets on full-blast, but no water was flowing.
“Oh, come on!” she shrieked.
She stomped out of the bathroom, and tried turning on the sink in the kitchen, but nothing. A loud exasperated groan slipped out of her mouth.
“What’s wrong?” Coco asked, looking away from the movie.
“The water isn’t on!” Grace said. “What kind of bullshit is that?”
“Was it working this morning?” Coco inquired.
“Yeah, it was working!” Grace replied. She kicked the side of the sink, and opened the cupboard underneath, looking around. “There’s nothin’ wrong with the pipes, and we just paid the bill.”
“Maybe it’s something with the landlord?” Coco suggested.
Grace snorted. “Old man Lurch probably would pull that kinda stunt,” she growled. “Now what?”
Coco got up from her seat -- obviously now feeling a lot better, with her motion sickness now subsided -- and she crouched down, glancing at the pipes underneath the sink. “Well, I don’t see any sort of problem, and I’m not really a plumber,” she stammered. “Maybe you should call and ask?”
Grace let out a groan. “Man, it’s late, I don’t wanna hear that creep!” she whined.
Coco sighed. “Well… I guess all we can do is wait until it comes back on,” she said.
Grace frowned. “Damn,” she muttered.
A knock on the door was heard, alerting the two of them from their momentary dilemma. Grace headed over, and swung open the door, surprised to see a pizza delivery pony already there.
“Wow, that was fast, “ she complimented.
“That’ll be twenty-five bits, ma’am,” the delivery pony replied, as she held out the box and folded her wings back under her work outfit.
Grace took the box, and lugged it over to the kitchen counter. She rummaged through her saddlebags and found her purse. She was literally scraping for money, only before she let out a frustrated sigh. She looked back, giving Coco a beckoning look. With a small roll of her eyes, Coco went over to her own bag, and took out a hoofful of bits.
“Here ya go,” Grace said, shoving exactly twenty-five bits into the other pony’s hoof.
The delivery pony blew her bright yellow bangs out of her face and hesitated. “Um, miss?”
Grace pushed her glasses up further and raised an eyebrow. “You ain’t getting a tip, seeing how they didn’t follow my special instructions,” she retorted. “Sorry, but you’re not my type.”
“Wait… what?”
“You heard me.”
“Uh, ok,” the delivery pony muttered, as she flew off down the hall and left.
Grace let out a light snort, and softly chuckled. She noticed Coco’s slight glare, and put her hooves up in defense. “What? She wasn’t that cute. Maybe if she dyed her mane or somethin’,” she mumbled. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw something taped on the door, and she ripped it off.
Dear Residents of the Cityview Apartments,
Due to the water main break Uptown, the pipes have been turned off for your safety. They should be turned back on sometime tomorrow evening.
Sincerely,
Founder / Manager / Landlord Lurch
“Great,” Grace muttered sarcastically. “Just great.”
“At least we have dinner,” Coco piped up, as she opened up the box and took out the pizza and other appetizers, making a plate for herself.
Grace gave a half-hearted shrug. “I guess so,” she said as she walked over, and popped open the soda.
Coco brought over the bag of plastic cups, and Grace poured each of them a glass.
“A toast to surviving another day in the city,” she joked, holding up her drink.
“To surviving in the city,” Coco laughed.
The two of them tapped their cups, drinking to friendship, the typical chaos of life, and whatever else came their way in this crazy city. Especially now that loud sirens were heard down below on the streets…
“Now if only I had some vodka to put in this,” Grace grumbled as she sipped her soda.
~ la fin ~
Can you pwease write a sequel in which the doorman and Grace get together?
Seems that Trixie found a new job...
SEQUEL!!
Was that Lightning Dust? Working at the same place as Trixie.
Oh dear...
Actually, from Trixie's line there, I wonder....
One Great and Powerful Deluxe with extra mushrooms to go, please!
Awww, it's over.
... Grace and Coco's Day Off for a sequel?
Sequel please
I was expecting Spitfire to make an appearance as well so we'd have all the key bearers (Apart from Discord), unless she was the Pizza filly.
4637053 Nnnnope, it was Lightning Dust. I tried to do all of the Key Bearers, but I don't think a Wonderbolt would work at a pizzeria. I did consider making Flim the pizza guy, though! But I love Dusty to bits. She's kinda cute in her own way and I wish we had more of her.
Very cute goofy fun. Here's hoping we see more of these characters.
4637119 You love her enough to stiff her on the tip?
4638067 Grace is ... Grace.
I take it this is the scene they were watching:
fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2014/136/2/6/a_monkey_s_uncle_by_celestiathegreatest-d7ijrhj.jpg
Hmm, to tell you the truth I'm actually quite surprised this is ending. It seemed like you were setting up for a couple of big story arcs between Grace and Coco's respective dates and Suri's possible reformation. I was really hoping to see where those plot threads were going to lead. Oh well, I guess that's what sequels are for!
4638537 I was like:
'Whats the Sun Princess? '
but when I saw that dialogue I was like:
Saw this featured and thought I'd give it a chance. Really enjoyed it, would like to read more of these two.
I thoroughly enjoyed this fic, as your characterisations of Grace and Coco just fit so well. I do hope you do more with these two in the future!
Harry Trotter and the Half-Blood Prince
Too bad this is over, but I shall wait for the day a sequel appear...
plz make a sequil
4639288 huh I wonder if anyone ever made a Lion king and MLP FiM crossover?
Well since this is done, at least it says it is, I believe it is time for me to give an official review on "Misadventures in Manehattan".
Synopsis:
We follow Coco Pommel and her roommate, Grace, throughout a normal day living in Manehattan. Or at least as normal a day as one can get living in a big city . . . or being a magical talking pony . . .
Characters:
Coco Pommel
Coco in the series was shown to be a good-hearted yet easily bullied mare with, as Rarity would put it, a passion for fashion- just not to the point she would willingly harm/steal/etc. from somepony else. In this story she is more or less regulated to the status of "straight-mare", basically she's the "normal one", to balance out Grace's personality. The series makes a point of stating that Coco has not lived in Manehattan for very long and is still getting used to it.
To be honest there isn't much else to talk about Coco beyond those points. She is chiefly there to react to the situations around her or listen to Grace. I will say that I did enjoy reading a bit of continuation of her working for/with Rarity in fashion.
Grace Maewitz
A pegasus mare who has been living in Manehattan for a very long time, possibly her entire life, Grace is your typical "city girl". She is crude, rude, generally hates living in the city, and has "learned how to go from day to day". Grace's personality is honestly so cliche that "city girl" is enough of a description to let you know everything you need to know about her.
Other Characters:
Rarity
Rarity's cameo is short and to the point. If memory serves she is simply there to inform/remind Coco about her deadlines. She never appears or is mentioned again. This is honestly a fine cameo and a decent one at that. Also considering her cameo is in the first chapter it serves as a nice way to get the ball rolling.
Suri
Coco's former boss for those who might not know or remember. She appears as a mare looking for a job, apparently unable to find one after her scandal made headlines. She is given another chance at work as Coco's assistant and expresses her gratitude to Coco. To me the idea of Suri turning over a new leaf the moment we see her is akin to how quickly Sunset Shimmer apologized in Equestria Girls. You say she went through a lot, and infer she is currently homeless, but you don't show us. Instead I'd have suggested allowing Suri to grow to appreciate Coco's generosity over the length of the story by having her see just how much Coco is willingly giving her.
Baymont
A fan named character for a background pony? Which one? The bellhop in "Rarity takes Manehattan". Yeah Princess Rarity gave him a name and personally I am going to include it in my own view of MLP. But back to the review. Baymont is depicted as overly flirtatious towards Grace despite her constant and often vociferous statements that she "finds him annoying". I will have to agree with Grace on this one. Baymont, while he is hitting on Grace, is generally annoying and I wished for him to go away. When he isn't hitting on Grace in ways that would very well get him fired in real life, he is a decent guy who I expect from his appearance in show canon.
Cheese Sandwich
Makes a small appearance only to be made fun of his name by Grace. I cannot remember what purpose he serves. As Cheese Sandwich is one of my favorite of the key givers, this must mean he didn't do anything of any real importance. Pity.
Silver Shill
Appears to ask Coco on a date. Which we never see. So basically he appears to show that Princess Rarity is shipping Coco with Silver. I personally wish to blow a hole in this ship's hull, but to each their own.
Vinyl and Octavia
These two apparently live next to Coco and Grace and take up the typical "loud neighbors" cliche. Beyond hearing them a few times they never appear, physically, nor get much screen time. This is, of course, okay as they are only making cameos. I will have to admit I got a chuckle out of the lines:
"If I wanted to hear that I'd be watching porn!"
"I wish we were doing it!"
Good nod to the commonly accepted fan theory of Vinyl and Octavia being a couple.
Trixie
Out of all of the cameos Trixie's must have made me laugh the hardest. In fact she is the ONLY thing that really made me laugh out loud; this is saying something since I don't view Trixie in high regards as others do. Her role is only in the last chapter is merely her working as a pizza delivery mare who doesn't get a tip from Grace because "you're not my type". You'd have to read the entire chapter to understand the joke and I don't feel like typing it out. It is more the fact you didn't expect Trixie to be the pony on the other end of the line until she says her name. It comes out of left field.
Any other characters were forgettable.
Writing:
Unlike most stories I read the writing here was done quite well. There was no grammatical nor spelling errors which I caught on my first read through. The style is easy to read yet it also is descriptive enough with the surroundings that you can picture it in your mind's eye.
And THANK YOU for generally having speech before and/or at the end of each paragraph!
Conclusion:
Another commenter said it best
That is exactly right. Save for the fact that while I have seen that show, it makes me laugh more often than this has. Since this is tagged 'Comedy' I expect a few good chuckle and optimally to laugh out loud a bit. This . . . just didn't deliver. Each joke felt forced or at the worst just wasn't funny to me. For instance the whole joke of the second chapter "“Wouldn't that count as cannibalism?”" is that Grace is calling Coco "marshmallow" because she is pudgy and that because she is one, by eating a marshmallow that would count as cannibalism. Okay?
Or the chapter "“How's 'bout we skip work & protest to legalize weed instead?" where the entire joke seems to be Grace just slyly getting herself and Coco past a mob of protesters protesting about legalizing weed.
Really?
While this does fit well for a 'Slice of Life' tag it fails for the most part to deliver on the 'Comedy' tagging. For me that's a shame because I live in a big city. I KNOW what it's like to live in one and the crazy situations you can find yourself in. The potential was there but was not tapped into. How funny would it be to have Coco and Grace go to the bank only to have it get robbed (funny is a relative term of course)? Or stumble across a gang fight and end up solving the issue in an ironic way when they were just trying to come up with an excuse to leave?
Potential was there, but not thoroughly used.
Though in the end it was not as bad a read as some might think I'm making it out to be. It just has it's flaws.
Characters: B-
Plot: D
Writing: A
FINAL SCORE: C-
Sequel! Now! Please?
4637119 Lightning Dust was the pizza mare.
Trixie is working for a pizzeria.
I also totally got that The Sun Princess is supposed to be The Lion King.
I thought this was pretty funny. It has a real vibe of a sitcom featuring young people trying to get by in the city. Grace just seems so New York to me. I should know. I lived there for four years as an undergraduate and worked there for two years after. The subway isn't that bad. I happen to like the green line trains on the east side; they're really nice. Anyway, this story though it felt kind of short. I wished there was more to it. There were somethings brought up that ended up not being resolved. I did like all the cameos from all the secondary characters, most from Season 4's key episodes and what not. I kind of would like to see a sequel or some kind of continuation of this. Either way, good job on this. Keep up the good work.
4649195 Umm... The one delivering the pizza is Lightning Dust...
4780001
*Apply face to palm*
I should have seen that with the wing part. Bad oversight on my part.
Well that fact really does little to detract from my entire review though.
4803370 You know what, you're right. I forgot about that one.
Gah, I really do dislike New York's downtown area. I stayed in New Jersey and so thankfully I didn't have to witness Downtown New York City in the evening. I felt like Manhattan and Uptown wasn't so bad, though. After all, Columbia Uni is there.
Wondered who answered: Octy or Scratch?
This was my first Grace story. Pretty cool.
It's Vinyl isn't it?
I think I died even more inside
By the way, do you suppose Harry Trotter dies in the Half-Blood Princess?