[Note: This story was cancelled because it was bloody awful]
There comes a time in every ponies life, when they look back and just have to ask "Just how the hell did I get here?" For me, this is that moment. I was a caravan guard, I lived to explore, to see the world, to help where I could, and even maybe make a cap or two. That was until that fateful day I signed up for the caravan to New Appleloosa, when my entire life was changed, for the worse.
My name is Black Lightning, this is my story.
(This story is cancelled, I'm never going to update. Thanks to everyone who read it. Feel free to check out my profile for my other fics.)
Chapters (2)
You need to separate out that huge block of text that you got there broski. Your current format makes this a tad difficult to read
Also, I might be wrong on this considering how new I am to fimfiction, but I don't think it's proper etiquette to put in your character bio at the end of a chapter. If anything, such a thing shouldn't e necessary. As you write the actual story, people will learn more about your character. I didn't see any grammatical or spelling errors at a first glace, so I'm pretty sure you're okay there. Just some tweaking and fleshing out
423356
Yes... Your obviously new.... These Fallout Equestria stories are done in the format of the original Fallout video game. The story chapters all end with new character info and quest perks gained as though the chapter had been a level in a RPG type video game. Blackjack, story looks good so far. Character descriptions are tight and concise. To get more readers I'd suggest sending a link to http://fallout-equestria.com/ . They will add your story to their ever growing list of fallout stories and post whenever you have an update. Please keep up the the story. We need more of them about the wasteland alicorns.
>> Liqwidice
Hey thanks for the advice. Now, how do I post this on on Fallout Equestria Resource....
423500
They will find it eventually, and they'll post it for you. Just wait a few days and it should be there.
423434
Thanks for the link
I have to admit that I'm new to the Fallout series itself, so I probably wasn't justified in critiquing something that I didn't have adequate information on. Apologies. 
I'd at least try sending a link to the email address on their site... But I'm not sure having never done it myself. I just can't log onto fimfiction from my phone, so I check w/ http://fallout-equestria.com/ to see what fallout stories have been updated. I wish fimfiction was more phone friendly. I could just use the search word "fallout" that way.
423716
Here is the link to the original fallout :
http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/04/story-fallout-equestria.html
It's an epic story over 600,000 words long. Written by KKAT, it is what all other Fallout Equestria stories are based off of and is a phenomenal read. I and most other fallout fans Highly recommend it. Happy reading.
423500
It's added now :)
yay when is the next chapter?
425480
When is the next chapter?
Let me think on that a moment my good ser....
I don't know. I'm still thinking about the plot and whatnot so....sometime later. Maybe a couple days or so.
I still need to figure out where I'm going with this fic
I have to admit, this is a pretty good first chapter. You just need to work on the formatting a litte nad it will be A-Ok
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Seriously though, it is well written, and I did enjoy this first chapter.
yay cant wait for the next one good chapter
YIPPEE...another alicorn story...Cant wait for the next chapter.
Not bad, you can work on it some more, but already I can see the beginnings of epicness here. Keep plugging at it, you can do it.
I see great potential. I like the character Jack-Knife, you portray him as a loose cannon pretty well. Black Lightning is also a likeable character, though I find it hard to believe somepony like Lavender would exist on a trader caravan. Still it's the wasteland, anything i possible.
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I look forward to seeing more chapters.
480657
Thanks for the assesment. Its funny, Lavender was originally not even going to be named, she was really only in the intro so I could add some more dialogue and was pretty much going to be a background character, but the only friend of mine I managed to persuade to read this, pretty much told me flat to give her a named role. As for your opinion that a person (pony) such as her couldn't possibly be on a caravan, I will touch on that later.
Anyway, Im rambling, thanks for the post, kinda enjoying the mild ego boost right now.
481219 I'm not saying Lavender's character is impossible or impractical or anything. Just her pacifist morals seem a bit far-fetched, given that she lives on a trade caravan which are notorious for getting attacked. Still the Wasteland does manage to grow kind and forgiving ponies like Velvet Remedy, Glimmerlight from Murky Number Seven or Priest from Project Horizons. So Lavender is entirely possible if unlikely.
I didn't mind Birch, you portrayed him alright and Black Lightning is a very sympathetic character. I'm guessing you probably already read some of the Alicorn Fallout: Equestria stories, but in case you haven't, check out Misfits and New Beginnings. They're both very enjoyable stories on fimfiction that take different approaches to portraying their Alicorn protagonists and could be helpful when portraying Black Lightning as one, admittedly having him join in the Alicorn chorus was interesting, nice work there.
fallout equestria. the only setting where an alicorn isn't a mary sue. warning: may contain identity crisis and other heavy angst.
Ooh, this looks interesting... I'm sad that it looks like the story was cancelled, though.
1187890
I've moved on to other things, I'm sad to say. I'm happy you liked it though. Thanks.