• Member Since 24th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

Talon and Thorn


T

Octavia isn't finding it very easy to adjust to her new life in Ponyville. The place seems so different from what she is used to and seems to be full of crazy ponies!

However, the population seem to have plans of their own and invite her and her fellow element bearers to a party in their honour. Octavia is used to formal dances and the like, surely this Hoe Down thing can't be much different. Can it?

Oh and maybe she might have just the teeniest bit of a crush on a certain red stallion who might happen to be at the dance, but that shouldn't be a problem.

A Cadenceverse story set about a week after The Music of Ponyville.

Thanks to Grass and Clouds 2 for his help in making this story.

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 35 )

It's good, but there are quite a few continuity, grammatical and spelling errors. I would really advise getting a proofreader. I can do that for you, but I would not be able to start until Saturday.

Otherwise, Great story!!

-Twilight_Scratch

Screws & Shrews? Heh.

And I though "Neapolitan's Ice Cream and Kung Fu Emporium" was weird...

I wonder if Carrot Top has a purple coated cousin named Heirloom?

4526482

Thank you I may well PM you about your kind offer.


4526819

Well come on who wouldn't want a shrew? and screws are fairly useful as well.

⸘What is with the downvoters‽

I like Morning In Ponyville. The main reason I like it is that I am terrible at remembering lyrics, but I can remember them for this song. It is the 1 song I can sing from they show without mangling it.

A 5th quicker. ¿How else could I represent that?:

.1TT1

The underline means that the digits repeat endlessly. That is balanced ternary. Yes, Rainbow Dash is .1TT1 faster.

¿Would not that be Doctrix CarrotTop?

I do not like the antiscience of AppleJack.

WakeUpJuice is a reference to Back To The Future # 3.

> “Medley sighed, but held out an arm to Octavia.”

Maybe, this should be forelimb.

MetaJoke about FiddleSticks being a palette-swap of Octavia Melody.

¡The complainer and RedTape are partypoopers!

This is a nice story.

Good job with the romance in this story. I would recommend you do hitting it big time for Vynnl. Good luck with future stories.

If I didn't know better, I might think that there are a few hints at the end of this story that could lead to kind of a "Simple Ways" triangle: Lyra (of course) wants Bon Bon, Bon Bon has a growing appreciation for Octavia, and Octavia just wants to be friends with both of them.

4529270

I think Doctor is normally considered to cover both sexes.


4531355

Oh I'm not opening that can of worms, although I did feel a little Bon Bon / Octavia fission in Octavia sings the blues. No, they are just good friends, I'm happy to keep my confused love matches with Red Tape / Lyra / Bon Bon

Okay, nice. I love Octavia and Bonbon being the Odd Couple. I also love how Octavia complains about Bonbon's fastidiousness while not two seconds later, complaining how Bonbon disrupts her routine. :scootangel:

Also, Lyra is nuts. That is all.

This is a really cute idea but I confess it's not for me. I'm not going to downvote as my issues are opinions only. Basically the main issues were twofold.

First, Octavia feels very rude and a bit obnoxious. She seems rather organized so it seems odd that she has so many problems with BonBon's system. She's been shown to be trying to be more accommodating to others, but in this case feels like she's going out of her way to seem disagreeable for no reason.

The other is the fact she's been there a week and yet acts as though this is the first time she's interacted with BonBon on any level. She has no knowledge of BonBon's system, or bathroom issues and so it sort of comes across as she's been in a coma for a week or that they've just not had a chance to interact.:twilightsheepish:

These are just my opinions and this is still a really cute story and you've clearly worked hard on it. I'm glad people seem to enjoy it as you deserve it.

4537302

Fair enough and thanks for the constructive criticism.

1) I think I have aimed to make Octy a little less likable than normal, she's been pulled out of her comfort zone and now has to get used to a new environment. It's easy to say you'd like to move to stay with your friends but then you wake up a few days later and you realise that everything is different now. Plus it is early in her time in Ponyville she hasn't gotten used to being accommodating yet, remember how she was in Musicians when everything had to be done her way.

She is being hypocritical about Bon Bon's system, but aren't we all? We all have our own quirks but we don't often accept them in others, at least not so well.

2) I have to agree with you about this one. Now you've mentioned it I probably should have moved it 'back' a day or two. Although after what happened to the 6 in Musicans Octavia might have been in a coma for a few days. I probably should have made some of the 'system' stuff a flash back or something like that to spread it out over a bit.

I hope you care to read the rest of the story and point out any other problems so I can try to do better next time.

Big Mac shuffled her hooves nervously

Big Mac is established as being male in this canon, so you may want to watch your pronouns.

Hmm, I am now wondering how this Applejack would get along with Hasbroverse Applejack, who is more of the "FOR SCIENCE!" kind. ;)

Nice little tour of town, here. The Cakes'... are actually pretty creepy.

Aww, Medley's a sweetheart. And Octavia would do well to meet Maneverse Twilight. "I thought I was neurotic before. I was wrong. She's nuts!"

Virola's name makes so much sense with that little bit of info.

Okay, overall I rather liked this a lot. Good to se Octavia getting used to Ponyville a bit more. Great music, and I 'ship Octish.

4652879

Which one?

We have

Mactavia (Big Mac / Octavia)
Vinyllee (Vinyl / Cheerilee)
Medley Time Gate (Time Turner / Medley / Colgate)
Bonra (Bon Bon / Lyra)
Ditdash (Rainbow Dash / Ditzy)
and some unrequited Redra (Red Tape / Lyra)

:pinkiecrazy:

I love how Lyra around Bon Bon is like Spike around Rarity. Not quite the same, but the parallel is amusing. It's also amusing that Bon Bon is a lot like Twilight when it comes to her form of organization. Again, it's different. But she's OCD about it. I also love how Lyra knew exactly what Bon Bon needed almost verbatim... and kinda creepy to be honest.

Octavia felt her mouth water, it looked so good but she was probably gaining pounds just looking at it.

That line alone makes my mouth water.

4622959
At first, I would've said that the Cake Twins would probably act like that too. But then it occurred to me that if their parents are that creepy, the kids would be like the twins from The Shining.

Pumpkin and Pound: "Come play with us, Pinkie."
Pinkie Pie: "Okay!"

I get the feeling that, when it comes to financially, Octavia's opinion of Medley is similar to Trixie's opinion of Lyra in the Lunaverse.

“I need to show Ponyville that I’m willing to change, willing to put in the effort to fit in with it. To be part of its community.”

It's a shame how ironic this is. The more she tries to prove that she can change and fit in, the more she proves that that's not what she's doing.

Also, I'm betting that Big Mac actually likes classical music. Or at least will be more accepting of it than her previous experience. And it seems that Octavia has a type. And that type is the "hard worker" type.

“Thank you Fluttershy, this is a very kind gift. I will wear it with pride.”

Fluttershy could've made a good Element of Kindness. *wink*

Unable to withstand the onslaught of cuteness

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Medley had finished her first drink and had gone for a refill, if that was pacing herself, it seemed to be a very fast pace.

I think Medley just got burned. By Octavia. And neither of them realize it.

Octavia blushed, she could not imagine discussing such things in public with her parents. In fact her parents had been too embarrassed to discuss such things in private, resulting in a somewhat exaggerated lesson from Viola. Luckily the Princess of Love herself had been in place to sort out the misunderstandings after Octavia had refused to play an instrument previously handled by a colt for fear of getting pregnant.

And this is why Sex Ed is a good class and should be in schools. Because some people can't inform their kids well enough, or just ignore the topic entirely or teach their kids abstainance.

Now I just gotta know... was that talk awkward for Cadance, or did Cadance's artificial nature help make it easier for her?

Virola is a south American tree who's sap has hallucinogenic properties.

Sounds relatively accurate considering who the name belongs to. Especially considering that it's similar enough to "Vinyl" that it makes sense.

10769008

Now I just gotta know... was that talk awkward for Cadance, or did Cadance's artificial nature help make it easier for her?

I'd say it wasn't all that awkward for Cadence but mostly due to her age rather than being a golem, over a millennia she's more or less heard every possible question from her students. Of course we've not heard anything about how 'fully functional' Cadence might be, no one suspected she was a Golem after all.

“Applejack has an entertainment licence and none of us paid, she can play whatever she wants,” replied the Bureaucrat getting to his hooves a little unsteadily. “Unless Vinyl’s equipment is dangerous in some way, my hooves are tied.”

I think I like Red Tape. I mean as much as a Bureaucrat can be liked anyway.


4530714
Red Tape may not be a good guy. But at least he, albeit begrudgingly, defended stood up for Vinyl and stood up for her right to play.

“Well on behalf of me and my friends, I except this doohickey,” exclaimed Vinyl grasping the key in her aura and lifting it above her head.

Vinyl Scratch is officially my favorite Element of Magic ever (so far).


4532141

No, they are just good friends

Perhaps Octavia and Bon Bon can stay Friend Zoned. But I like the idea of Lyra interpreting that connection as Octavia falling for Bon Bon, and Lyra takes it the wrong way.


4660270
I'm reading the Cadanceverse stories in chronological order rather than order of release (at least to the best of my abilities since the "Story Order" forum thread still lists Hoe Down as not yet published). So perhaps I'd be right in guessing that later in the series, you see more of some of these ships. But here's my take on them as far as what I've seen so far.

Mactavia, yes.
Vinyllee, haven't seen enough of it to have an opinion.
Medley Time Gate, is this fleshed out later in the series? Because I didn't even think that was a thing. I just thought that's how Medley gets when she's drunk.
Bonra, I suppose you can't go wrong with what the show has confirmed as canon.
Ditdash, I want to see more of this. I especially like this version of Ditzy, since it plays into an episode that wasn't made yet when this story was. Parental Glidance shows that Derpy used to compete and win in best flier competitions. Then her eyes started getting worse and worse, as did her skill level. This version of Ditzy implies that that's what happened more or less, but she never gave up and still holds that childhood dream.
Redra, haven't seen it.

10769163

Red Tape is very much Lawful Neutral, he may not like Vinyl much but he won't break any rules in trying to mess with her.

10769238

I don't think any of the ships ever really come to fruition in the stories written to date but Mactavia is probably the most prominent one.

The Medley Time Gate one is mostly a casual thing just to show that Medley can get a bit wild when she lets her hair down, although it's not a common thing.

Ditdash and Redra where things I meant to do more with later but never really came up.

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